Sasha's Dilemma (10 page)

“How about you don’t
think negatively until you actually talk to him about it. He does
love you Brit, and I’m sure whatever you decide, he will love
you all the same,” I tell her.

“That’s the thing,
I’ve decided I’m keeping the baby.”

There’s a knock on the door
and Adam pokes his head in. “You okay, honey?”

She nods her head in response, but
doesn’t say anything. He asks if we can all come into the
lounge room for an announcement. As soon as I enter the room, Josh
finds me and wraps his arms around my waist. I melt into him, glad I
don’t have any of these dramas going on in my life. Adam clears
his throat to get everyone’s attention.

“Thank you all for coming to
spend this afternoon with me and my girl, but I would like to make an
announcement of my own.” He turns to Brit. “I’ve
loved you since I met you, and I would be the happiest man on this
Earth if you would agree to spend the rest of your life with me.”

Adam drops to one knee and
everyone has their hands at their mouths.

“Will you, Brittany Jane
Jade, agree to marry me?”

“Of course I will!”
Brit says and drops to her knees and starts kissing him.

It turns out to be a beautiful
night. Josh hasn’t let me go all night. His hand is always on
the small of my back or holding my hand. Lola comes up to tell us she
is going, and gives me a kiss on the cheek and just waves at Josh.
Blake follows close behind her and waves goodbye to us as well. Josh
and I head out to the deck area to get a drink. While we’re
waiting, I decide to share my little secret with him.

“I have no underwear on,”
I whisper in his ear. He turns around and raises his eyebrows at me
like I’m joking. I turn around in a circle to prove my point,
just before the bartender brings us our drinks. Josh slams them both
down and drags me out the door, yelling over his shoulder bye to Adam
and Brit. I try to wave bye as we head out.

We get in the car and he is
speeding the whole way home. We pull up to his garage and he rushes
around to open my door. I start to get out, but I must not be moving
fast enough for him because he lifts me up and carries me to the
bonnet of his car. His hand snakes up my dress as he kisses me
urgently.

“Fuck, beautiful, why didn’t
you tell me earlier?” he says in a husky voice.

“I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well, you certainly did.
Adam’s gonna think I’m a crazy man,” he says while
working his hands up my dress and I start panting. He knows how crazy
he makes me with the things he can do with his hands, mouth, and
body. He drives me bloody crazy. He pushes me back so I’m lying
on the hood of his car. His lips travel up my thighs in slow
torturous kisses up to my sex.

He knows how impatient I get.
Usually, I can’t stop myself from grabbing his hair and making
him do what I want. But apparently tonight, he wants to torture me
because he tells me, “Place your hands above your head. If you
touch my hair, I will stop.”

I do as he says, and he begins my
torture again. I start squirming and pushing my bottom half up so he
will go faster, but he just chuckles, grabs my hips, and pins them
down. He starts with small kisses over my clit, and then I feel the
warmth of his tongue and instantly want more. I go to move my hands
and he stops.

“What did I tell you?”

I poke my bottom lip out and give
him my best ‘I’m sorry’ face. He just laughs and
tells me to put my hands back up. He gives me two orgasms with just
his hands and mouth. I’m shaking when he lifts me and carries
me into his house and straight to the shower. Slowly, he undresses me
and joins me in the shower. My legs feel like jelly and I’m
afraid to stand on my own, so I lean on him. Effortlessly, he
supports my weight and washes me from head to toe, making sure to be
extra gentle when he gets to my sex area. I’m breathing heavy
just from his
ministrations and I
know I haven’t had my fill of him.

Slowly, I kiss up his beautifully
tattooed, toned stomach. Just being able to touch such beauty has me
instantly wet again. I can feel him getting harder when I’m
kissing his neck. I climb up his body and instantly he knows what I
want. He grabs me and wraps my legs around him. I can feel him near
my entrance, and I’m craving him like a bad drug that I need
now or I might explode. I never seem to have to tell him what I need.
It’s like he can read my mind and just does it. He grabs my
hips and slams into me over and over again until we’re both
spent and breathing heavy.

He turns the shower off and helps
dry me off before grabbing the shirt he had on tonight and putting it
on me so all I have on are his clothes. He goes to the kitchen, grabs
me a glass of water and Panadol so I won’t feel sore in the
morning, and then lays in bed next to me. Josh never sleeps in
anything. He makes me laugh because he likes to say that he wants his
boys to be happy. I always feel him pressed into my back when I wake
up, and he is always happy.

“What do you want in the
future, beauty? Do you want to get married and have kids?” he
asks me while wrapping my body around his so my head is on his chest.
I freeze at that question. I am so not ready for any of that.

“To be honest, I’ve
never wanted to be married or have kids. I figured I would be okay
being an aunty and godmother when the day comes,” I tell him.

“Really? I would never have
guessed. Because of your line of work, I figured you would want kids
one day.”

Everyone thinks that.

“No, I love kids. I just
don’t want any and marriages are just a waste of time and
money, if you ask me. If you love each other, why do you need a piece
of paper to prove it, or a ring for that matter?” I say to him.

“You surprise me every day,
you know that? I never know what’s going to come out of your
mouth,” he says with a kiss to my head. I’m not sure if I
should ask him if that’s what he wants, but I don’t want
to ruin the moment. I just drift off to sleep, happy on his chest. I
figure I’ll ask another day.

I wake up alone and look at the
clock, it’s midday. Wow, I haven’t slept like this in a
long time and I feel great. I hop out of bed, figuring I’ll
find Josh in there, but all I find is a note.

Had to go to work, couldn’t wake you. You looked like an
angel sleeping. Give me a call when you’re awake,
my beautiful xx

I give him a call and let him know
I’m awake. He tells me to stop in so we can have lunch
together. I get to the shop and find Pixie at the counter.

“Well, hello there, long
time no see. How you been?” she says to me.

“I’ve been good. Just
here to have lunch with Josh. How’s your day been?”

“Oh, you know, the usual
busy. So when you going to brand that beautiful body with some ink?”

“Never really planned on
getting one. I love tattoos, but I don’t know how you pick
something that is going to stay on my body for life,” I tell
her.

“Well, Josh is getting one
now. I wonder if you will like it, hmmm,” she says smirking up
at me. Now I’m curious. He has a lot, and I don’t know
where he could possibly fit more.

“I’ll let him know
you’re here. He should be done by now.” With that, she
walks out the back and I get a chance to look around. Most of the
drawings are by Josh. He really is talented with his hands in all
aspects. A set of arms wrap around my waist and I turn into him.

“How did you sleep?”
he says into my neck.

“Best sleep ever, thank you
very much.”

“How about we head out for
lunch? There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
His voice is filled with excitement.

I nod against him and we wave
goodbye to Pixie. She’s standing at the counter watching us,
smirking.

We end up at a little restaurant
not far from the shop, and I ask him what he wants to talk to me
about.

“Well, I was wondering if
you would consider moving in with me. You practically live there
anyway, and this way you won’t have to work two jobs because my
apartment is already paid off. But I will expect rent in sexual
favours,” he winks at me.

I’m too shocked to answer.

“Beauty, you’re
looking like I killed your cat. Is this not something you want?”

“Umm… I’m not
sure. I have to talk to Lola. I can’t just leave her by
herself,” I tell him.

“Well, how about you go home
and discuss it with her? And then you can let me know.”

“Yeah, sure. So what tattoo
did you get today?” I try to change the subject. I’ve
never lived with a guy before, and it’s not like I don’t
practically live there anyway, but I just like knowing I can go back
to something that is mine.

“How did you know I got
one?”

“Pixie mentioned while I was
waiting. Why? What is it?” Now my interest is piqued. He
usually has no problem telling me what he gets done.

“Don’t freak out, but
I was going to show you later.”

Now, I’m freaked. What the
hell is it? He lifts up his shirt and shows me the fresh tattoo after
removing the bandage. It’s in nice cursive writing on his ribs
and it says, “My Beauty. My Heart. My Soul.” I’m
speechless. I’m waiting for him to tell me it’s not what
I think, but I have a feeling it is by the way he is looking at me.
When I don’t say anything at first, his smile drops and I can
tell I’m upsetting him. It takes me a moment, but I finally
find my voice.

“It’s beautiful.”
That’s all I can say because it is, but it’s not
something I was expecting. I knew his feelings for me were strong,
but I didn’t know how much. I’ve tried to steer away from
the heavy stuff. I’m not ready for anything like that, and I
love how our relationship is at the moment. I just didn’t think
he was thinking so serious. Maybe I should start talking to him about
it instead of just going with the flow.

”I wanted to show you
tonight, but somehow it’s all gone to shit,” he says
while laughing.

I can tell he is upset, but I
don’t know how to comfort him. I do think I’m in love
with him, but then again, I’ve never been in love, so I’m
not quite sure. And I really don’t want to hurt him. Despite
what people say about him, he has never done anything to hurt my
feelings, and he always puts me first.

He suggests we have dinner at his
place before I go home and talk to Lola and I agree. He kisses me
goodbye and heads back to the shop. I decide I need to talk to
someone so I call Brit to see if she is home and tell her I’m
on my way over.

I get to Brit’s and the
first word out of her mouth is “Men.” We sit down and
talk for ages. I tell her my dilemma with Josh and that I don’t
know what to do or how I’m meant to feel. She is very
understanding and helps with her opinion as much as she can without
intruding. When I notice the time, I get up to leave.

“Sasha, you know I love you,
but I think you are holding yourself back. This guy is crazy about
you, and you are crazy about him, so you need to work out what you
really want.”

I sigh at her.

“I know, but it is easier
said than done, Brit. It’s a really big move, and I’m
still studying and working myself out. Do I really want to take that
chance? What if it blows up in my face?”

She leans in and gives me a hug.
When she pulls back, she looks me in the eyes and says, “Those
are excuses. They don’t affect your relationship at all. And
you can’t know if it will blow up in your face, but by what you
have told me, I don’t see him planning on stuffing this up. So,
you need to either choose him or let him go. But you have to
know, if you let him
go, there are going to be other women waiting
for that
chance because he is a lovely, smart-ass guy, but he is also a damn
fine specimen of a man,” she says with the biggest smirk on her
face.

I’m driving to Josh’s
and I can’t make up mind what I want to do. I don’t want
to let him go, but I’m still young. Do I want a heavy
relationship at my age? He still gives me butterflies every time I
look at him and his touch drives me wild. I can never get enough of
him, and I know he is the same way with me because he tells me
constantly.

I think back to my past flings and
none of them have ever made me feel this way before. I see Dylan at
work every now and then, but I suspect he tries to avoid me. I still
have feelings for him, and I think they would have progressed if I
stayed with him. But he doesn’t make my heart flutter like Josh
does. And he doesn’t give me the crazy butterflies when he
smirks at me. With
Dylan, he is just very pleasant to be around, that and easy,
comfortable, and safe.

I think that’s my problem. I
don’t feel one hundred percent safe around Josh. It’s
like I have my heart guarded because I’m scared that sooner or
later he will rip it to shreds if I give it to him. Right now, he
only has pieces of it.

When I arrive at Josh’s
apartment, I notice
all the lights are off. I make my way inside and find there are
candles lit in the kitchen. Actually, the kitchen is filled with them
and there is a pathway of candles leading to his bedroom. I follow
the candles, open the bedroom door, and find Josh standing there
looking at me.

“I know you freaked out
today, and that wasn’t my intention,” he says first off.
“I just thought it would be nicer if you moved in instead of
going from one place to the next. I even cleared out half the closet
for you. But if you’re not ready, I understand. Just don’t
leave me, beautiful.”

I can hear the desperation in his
voice when he says this. I can tell he thought I was scared shitless
and wanted to run, which in a way I did, but I’m glad I didn’t
because he makes me crazy in a very good way. I take a step towards
him, run my hands down his cheeks, lean in, and kiss him. Closing my
eyes as if it was our first kiss, my lips touch his and time slows.
Breathing heavily, we taste each other like we can’t get
enough.