Sati (15 page)

'Hi, Mr Winters,'she said.' You look exactly as I im-agined you would on the phone.'

‘I’ll take that as a compliment,'I said.

'That's how it was given,'she replied cheerfully, letting me in.' But I don't suppose I'm what you were expecting. I've had men ask me out without seeing me, just because of my telephone voice. It always cracks me up the way their faces fall when we meet.'She closed the door and smiled at me with doughboy cheeks. She appeared to be around fifty, so I put her at thirty-five.' Have you had lunch, yet?'

Fat people always make me feel sad. I suppose it's because I feel no one would ever want them.

Sometimes I wished Linda was fat so Dick wouldn't want her. But Linda just kept getting thinner, and more desirable.

'I've eaten, thank you,'I said.

Miss Barbers nodded to Nick's sketch pad under my arm.' If you want to draw my picture, I hope you wouldn't mind coming back next week when I've finished my diet.'She laughed at my discomfort.' You are a polite man, Mr Winters, did anyone ever tell you that?'

'Sati told me that once,'I replied, figuring I might as well get to the heart of the matter.

'Is that a girlfriend?'she asked, pointing me in the direction of the kitchen table. We sat down together.

'Not exactly.'I uncovered Nick's handiwork and slid it towards her.' This is Sati.'

Miss Barbers's expression brightened.' She's pretty. She looks a lot like Kathy. Wait a second, what's going on here? Is Kathy using the stage name Sati?'

I leaned closer.' Miss Barbers, is this..."

'Please call me Casey.'

'Casey, is this Kathy?'

'It looks like her. Don't you know?'

'No. That's my problem. I picked this girl up a few days ago just west of Catson. She told me her name was Sati. Since then, she's been staying at my place and... carrying on in an unusual fashion. Please study this drawing closely. I've got to know for sure if it's her or not.'

'I'll need my glasses,'Miss Barbers said, getting up again.' My contacts aren't strong enough.'

'Yes, use your glasses.'I was sweating, hanging on to a faint hope. But what was I hoping for, anyway?

That Sati was God? Miss Barbers could only prove she wasn't. And I already knew that. Any fool knew that.

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Back in her chair with her glasses, Miss Barbers studied the picture for a long time.' Yeah, this isK athy,'

she said finally.

I closed my eyes for a second.' Are you absolutely sure? You stared at it for so long before saying anything.'

'Well, it's a drawing. You should have brought me a photograph.'

'She wouldn't let me take a photograph.'

Miss Barbers giggled; her whole body did.'T hat's Kathy! She'd never pose for a picture. And here she wanted to be famous. I'd tell her,"Kathy, how can you be in the movies if you won't get in front of a camera?" She tapped Nick's sketch.' I'm surprised you got her to sit fort his."

'Does she have any family living in town?'

'No. She's from the Midwest.But don't ask me about her family. She never ever talked about them. For such a pleasant girl, she sure could be closed about certain things.'The woman chuckled.' That's cute she's using a new name.'

'How long have you known her?'I asked.

'Oh, six months. She lived right next door. But I didn't see her that often. She stayed inside most of the time. She worked at home.'

'What did she do?'

'She was a writer,'Casey said.

'What?'

'That's what I said when she told me. She used to sell short stories to all kinds of magazines. Oh, I just remem-bered, she always used pseudonyms. That explains it!'

'Explains what?'

'Why she's gone and made up a stage name. What last name has she adopted?'

'Sati's all she's going by,'I replied dryly.

"That's Hollywood for you. But Mr Winters, why did you say Kathy was carrying on in an unusual fashion? Has she done anything wrong?'

'She's saying she's God.'

'Pardon?'

'She's saying she's God.'

That took Miss Barbers aback.' Why is she doing that?'

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'I don't know,'I said.' Do you?'

'No, I mean, I always thought she was a strange girl. Nice, you understand, very polite, but still strange.

But I thought that was because she spent so much time writing.'Miss Barbers frowned.'I hope the poor thing's not taking drugs.'

'Did she ever give you a sample of her writing, anything she'd published?'

'No.'

'Never?'

'No, and I asked her for a piece on several occasions. - But I do know she wrote a lot of science fiction, fan-tasy and far-out stuff like that.'

'Figures,'I muttered.' Did she have a car?'

'No. She was going to hitch-hike to L.A. I'm glad she got picked up by a nice man like you.'

'When exactly did she leave?'

'You must know. It was last week.'

I sat up.' Are you sure? Today's Wednesday. I only picked her up Monday, at two in the morning.'

Miss Barbers frowned again.' That's odd. Of course, she could have left later without my knowing.'

I rubbed my eyes. I was tired already, and I still had to get to Phoenix, drop my freight off and drive home. I wasn't looking forward to seeing Satiagain, not the way I had been all the other times.

'Casey,'I said.' Could you take one last look at this drawing and tell me, beyond a shadow of doubt, that this is the Kathy Lion that you knew?'

Miss Barbers picked up the pad and held it at arm's length. Apparently, even with her glasses, her eyesight wasn't great.' If this isn't Kathy,'she said,' I don't know who it is.'

ELEVEN

Procrastination and I are old friends. Instead of returning straight home after delivering my freight,I talked myself into finding a motel in Phoenix. I figured I'd stay overnight and scout prospective clients the next morning. I knew I was just putting off the inevitable. Still, I went so far as to get a room. I even had dinner, and killed a couple of hours with a ridiculously long walk. But when it was near ten, and time to lay my head on the pillow, I realised I wasn't going to be able to sleep until I talked to Sati. I got back in my truck and started on the all-night drive. I didn't pass a single hitch-hiker on the road.

At home, I found Sati sitting out front with Fred, folding papers. Sunrise was a couple of hours away.

LA. never really slept, but the street was deserted, and it seemed very peaceful. I could hear the ocean waves breaking more than half a mile away. There was a chill in the air. Both Sati and Fred wore sweaters.

'How are you doing?'Fred asked, hardly glancing up, his voice flat.

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'Tired,'I muttered.' How are you?'

'Great,'Fred said.

He was exaggerating, but I wasn't going to argue the point. Sati had set aside her rubber bands and was watch-ing me,her hair tied up in a bun, looking in the dark like any other pretty young girl. Yet in the instant she turned her eyes on me, I knew I wouldn't be confront-ing her with my discovery. Suddenly, I couldn't bear the thought of calling her a liar, of ruining her fantasy.

I, too, sometimes wished I was God. I guess everyone has at least once in their life.

'Hello, Sati,'I said.

She nodded.' Michael.'

'How are things?'

'Things are good,'she said.

Tm glad.'

'Mike, I've got to talk to you alone,'Fred said abruptly, standing up.

'Sure. See you later, Sati.'

'OK'

Fred didn't say a word until we were inside my apart-ment. Then he exploded.' What's this I hear about you and Lori fooling around?'

'Who told you that?'I asked, flipping on the lamp and plopping on the couch, more tired than any human being had a right to be.

'Lori told me!'

'Did you believe her?'

'I'm serious. I don't like this. I don't like this one bit.'

I sighed.' What exactly did Lori tell you?'

Fred went to speak, stopped, stuck his hands in his pockets, and then pulled them back out again.' She said she made a pass at you!'His voice choked.' Why didn't you tell me, Mike?"

That didn't sound like the Lori I knew.' She told you that?'

'Yeah.'His lip quivered.' Is it true?'

'Yes.'

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Fred slammed his fist into his leg.' Why didn't you tell me?'

He was hurting, and I felt bad for him. Yet, at the same time, I was pleased to hear of her confession.' I didn't want to upset you.'

Fred began to pace.' I don't see how you could have kept this from me. All those times we talked together about Lori, and here you
knew
she wanted you instead of me!'

'She only made a pass at me a couple of days ago.'

He stopped.'W hat about the time I left the two of you alone when my car broke down? What about that time, huh? That was a long time ago!'

'Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten about that.'

He moved a step closer, shaking his finger.' Were you flirting with her?'

'No.'

'Are you sure you didn't encourage her? You told me once how cute she was. I remember you telling me that.'

'She is cute.'

Fred slammed his fists in his legs again.' I knew it! I knew it! You
were
flirting with her!'

'Calm down, Fred. You're going to wake everyone up. No, I wasn't flirting with her. You know I wouldn't do that. Any suggestive remarks came strictly from her side.'

Fred threw himself into the chair Satihad used for her first meeting.' Thanks for telling me that. That makes me feel great. Thanks a lot, Mike.'

'I'm sorry.'

Fred shook his head, close to crying.' What are you sorry about? She wasn't your girlfriend.'

I let a couple of minutes of silence pass. Fred stared at the floor, sniffing occasionally. His fidgeting began to subside.

'Maybe this is for the best,"I said finally, gently.' Maybe you would be better off with someone else. To tell you the truth, I've never thought Loriwas your type. She's too... typical.'

He snorted softly.' She's not typical anymore."

I paused, remembering her crying at Sati's meeting.' What do you mean?'I asked.

'She's totally changed. She says we have a lot of stuff between us that needs working out.'

'Huh?'

Fred spoke to the floor.' She's made this list. It's full of all these problems we have.'

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'Wait a second. She's breaking up with you, right?'

Fred looked at me as if I was a moron.'N o. Who told you that? I'm breaking up with her. She's been unfaithful. How could I possibly stay with her?'

'But Lori's been going out with other guys all along. You've known that.'

'Yeah, but none of them was my best friend.'

'What difference does that make?'I asked.

'It makes a lot of difference.'

'But I never went out with her.'

'That doesn't make any difference. She wanted to go out with you.'He winced.' She told me she wanted to go to bed with you.'

I scratched my head, figuring my fatigue must be to blame for my slow comprehension.' Doesn't she still want to go to bed with me?'

Fred convulsed in his seat.' Mike!'

'Shh. What I mean is, it sounds like she's opening up to you now, that she's finally willing to work at having a real relationship.'

Fred glowered.' Swell. You're all heart, you know that? You're saying we
never
had a real relationship.

Thanks a lot.'

'This seems to me to be good news. You should be happy.'

'Don't start sounding like Sati on me.'He crossed his arms across his chest, pouted.' This whole mess is all her fault.'

'Sati's?'

'Yeah.'

'What did she do?'

'I don't know. She's God - how am I supposed to know what she's done?'He resettled himself into a more uncomfortable position.' I shouldn't have taken Lori to that meeting when that preacher tried to hammer that nail in Sati.'

'Did seeing that change Lori?'

'You better believe it. Yesterday,Lori insisted we get to the meeting an hour early so we could get a seat in the front row.'

'Then Lori thinks Satiis God?'I asked.

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'What's wrong with you, Mike? Aren't you awake?'

'I'm beginning to wonder.'

'Of course Lori thinks she's God. She saw how Sati kept smiling even when she was about to get nailed.

How could anybody do that unless they were God?'

I rested my head in my hands.' Let me get this straight. You have a girl you have adored for the last year, who's finally willing to work through whatever may be keeping you two apart. And you have another girl, who's God, who's willing to help you deliver your papers. And you're still not happy?'

Fred thought about it for a moment, and by golly if something didn't click inside.' I guess you're right,'he said.'I guess it's not that big a deal that she was flirting with you. When I stop and look at what's happening around here, it's pretty mind-boggling. It just upset me so much, you know, when Lori told me she'd always had a crush on you."

'Iunderstand. I think I understand.'

Fred stood, stretching.'I better get back out there and help Sati finish folding the papers. You look like you could use some sleep. Thanks for talking with me.'

'No problem.'

When he was gone, I called David. It was four thirty in the morning and I knew I would be waking him.

I didn't care. If I didn't have the heart to stop this madness, I was sure he would.

Wasn't I in for a surprise.

Five rings went by before he answered.' Hello?'he whispered. In the background, I could hear a female voice moan,' Who is it?'She sounded in her mid-teens.

'This is Mike,'I said.' I know who Sati is.'