Sati (10 page)

Sati nodded as she passed Reverend Green and me. But she did not pause or speak until she was seated up front.All the chairs were now taken, and a handful of us were still standing. There were approximately forty people present

'Jennifer,'Sati began,'I want you to sit in the back with your father. Sit on his lap. And the rest of you without chairs,make yourselves as comfortable as you can on the floor. You might find it easier on your backs if you lean against a wall.'

The chair Jennifer vacated was taken by Reverend Green. Timmywas now to Green's immediate right.

Why Sati wanted my daughter on my lap was not clear to me, but the weight of her little body on my crossed legs was certainly no burden. Linda settled beside us. The lights were dimmed,and Sati repeated her instructions from the previous night about not minding how we felt during the period of silence. Then wec losed our eyes.

This time I experienced no initial restlessness. Almost instantly, I felt my body slow down.It was no mood - my rateof respiration definitely lessened.The other sensations, however, of warmth in the heart and coolness on the forehead, did noto ccur. Perhaps I was looking too hard for them. But I wasn't disappointed. My overall state of mind was one of steadily increasing peacefulness.

The minutes didn't just vanish asthey had in my apart-ment For this, I was glad. It gave me more of a chance to savour the rest God only knewwhat was bringing it about. A comment Sati had made earlier floated by in my mind:

'There comes a time foreverybodywhen words and reasonsc an become sucha great weariness.'

After what seemed to be about half an hour,I began to notice an unusual phenomenon. I had started the period with my arms draped loosely around Jenny; then I had forgotten she was even sitting in my lap.

Now I began to notice that
something
was pressing against me. What made this so unusual was that this something was not exactly my daughter and what it was pressing against was not exactly myself. Had I been in an analytical mood, I probably would have got all excited and ruined the whole thing. Fortunately, that did not happen. The pressing was actually more of a cuddling. It was extraordinarily pleasant. For the first time in a long time, I felt as though I belonged to someone, and that she belonged to me, and that it would always be that way.

Sati asked us to open our eyes. The silence inthe darkened room was so thick it rang. Jenny turned and looked up at me.' I love you, Daddy,'she whispered.

I pressed my face into her hair.'I love you, too.'

'Always?'

'Always and for ever.'

'I know,'she said, nodding to herself.' I know.'

Sati welcomed everyone and proceeded to cover the same pointsas before: shewas God;life was meant to be enjoyed; and it was in everybody's,bestinterestto realisetheir inner being, which was the source of al l enjoyment.Her talk lasted maybe five minutes. When she was done she sat waiting, not speaking.

Someone nodded slightly. The preacher got to his feet.

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'Prove it,'he said,and then sat down.

'The silence experienced in my presence is my proof,'she said.

'I didn't experience anything,'Reverend Green said.

'Silence is subtle,'Sadsaid.' It generally dawns in life without fanfare. Yet it is the most intimate aspect ofli fe. Your inner self is nothing but pure silence. An awareness of silence is the only genuine spiritual experience. Talking in tongues or talking to spirits, healing people or reading another person's mind -

these abilities are insignificant compared to the bliss of silence. Be happy with what has happened for you tonight. Contact with me never goes to waste.'

Before Reverend Green could argue the point, Satitook a question from a young man who had been to the first talk. He had previously caught my eye. He looked intelligent, like a young maths major or someth ing.

'You mentioned talking to spirits,'he said.'By that do you mean channelling?'

'Describe this channelling,'Sati said.

The young man made a vague gesture.' It's real big in California. All the celebrities visit channels. It's where a person goes into a trance and a disembodied person speaks through them.'

Sati nodded."T hese sorts of things - yes, that is what I meant.'

'Is it bad, then?'the young man asked.

Sati shrugged.'N ot bad. Not necessarily.'

'Is it good,then? I mean, is it valid?'

'I will ask you a question,'Sati said.' Say you know a mechanic who lives on the corner. His name is Joe.

But heisn'tavery good mechanic. Youdon't have him fix yourcarwhen it breaks. Then one dayhe dies and he begins to speak through a channel. You didn't trust Joe togi ve your cara tune-up when he was alive.

Now are you going to trust him to explain the mysteries of the universe to you just because he's dead?'

The group laughed. The boy smiled and blushed.' Are any of the things that come through channels worthwhile?'he asked.

'Sometimes, yes,you might hear something beneficial.'

'How can I tell a good channel from a bad one?'the young man asked.

'It is difficult,'Sati said.' Avoid those sources that reflect ego. If a disincarnate spirit tells you that you have been chosen for a divine mission, choose to leave the room.'

A well-dressed middle-aged Japanese man raised his hand. He had come with his wife and baby daughter. The baby must have slept through the period of silence. I hadn't heard her.

'Sati, could you speak about free will?'the man asked.

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'I amfr ee to speak,'she said.' What should I speak?'

'Do we have free will? Or is everything destined?"

Sati stared off into empty space for a long moment.The sense of deep silence in the room wass till strong. Yet I could not say that it appeared toemanate from her alone. All of us seemed to be contributing to it in some smallway. Sati's answer surprised me.

'Everything is inevitable,'she said finally.

'But each day we decidetil ings,'the man protested.' For example,I decided to come here tonight. Had I decided to stay home, I would not be here. How do you explain this?'

'Truth is different in different states,'she said.' You asked me the question, and I gave you my truth. I am God. But even if you do not accept me as God,if you accept any God, then you must accept him as all-knowing. Being all-knowing, such a God would have to know you would attend this meeting tonight.

Therefore,to believein God istobelieve in destiny.'

'Didy ouknowI was going to behere tonight?"the man asked.

'Yes.'

'But I almost didn't come.'

'In ignorance,t he small ego thinks it decidesthisand that.That is fine. That is how it should be. If in ignorance a man says to himself that everything is inevitable, then he doesn't bother getting out of bed in the morning.What I say about destiny,I say only for your understanding, not as a formula to guide your daily lives. Indeed, in your present state, it is better to believe that you design your own destiny."

'But if it isn't true, why should we believe it?'theman asked.

'You stand in one place. You want to be in another. Youget on a bus. You get on the bus knowing you're going to get off. But when you get off, you stand in another place. It is like that. The truth of the goal is not the truth of the path."

'Iwill have to think about what you have said,'the man said.

Sati nodded.' That is good.'

The young man raised his hand again.' What does it mean to be enlightened?'

'To be me.'

'But how do we get like you?'

'Ihave not come to show you a particular path. There are many paths. But I will give you direction in choosing one.'She paused.' My ways are always simple and natural. They bring immediate fruit, although it may take you some time to realise the value of the fruit. Don't under-take any practice that relies upon talking yourself into a particular state. This cultivates mood-making, nothing more. My silent nature is beyond thought It cannot be maintained by fanciful moods. This is an important point.

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Let me repeat itanother way. Pure consciousness, Christ consciousness, nirvana,m oksha - whatever yo uwant to call it - cannot be gamed by thinking about it. Pure being transcends thought. It can only be experienced when the mind slips beyond thought. It cannot be imagined.'

Linda stood and raised her hand.'But do we have to travel a path at all? Aren't we always already at the goal? Don't we just have to acceptthe fact that we can do anything, and do it?'

'That sounds wise. Unfortunately, it is fake.'

Linda was taken aback. She had obviously expected automatic agreement from Sati.

'It sounds to me like you're putting limits on our potential,rather than taking them away,'Linda said.

'I am simply being realistic, and realityis different, at present,for you than it is for me.'Sati pointed out the window.' That building there is very tall. If you were to go to the top of it, and tell yourself you could do anything, and then jump off the edge, you would quickly discover that your anythingdidnot include the ability to fly.'The audience chuckled and Sati continued.' You must follow aspiritual discipline.Itis through the human nervoussystem you evolve. You are likelight bulbs, endowed with the potential to shine bright.

Inside the body you see before you flows a million watts.Yet if an equal amount of energy were to pass through your nervous system, you would go up in a flash of smoke. You must purify your system, and this can only be done through a discipline. It is when the nervous system is perfect that infinity is lived, not before. Practices that do not refine the nervous system, while at-tempting to expand consciousness,are a waste of time.'

Linda was not happy.' But surely you don't believe anyone can tell us how to gain enlightenment? Isn't it something we have to find for ourselves?'

'Certainly it is something you must find for yourselves, but it is equally true you won't find it unless you learn from someone who already knows where it is. If you want to learn carpentry, you study with a carpenter. If youwant to know me, you study with someone who knows me.'

'How do we recognise them?'the firstyoung manasked.

"They will remind you of me.'

'Wait a second,'Linda said.' Are you saying weneed a guru?'

'A teacher. Why is that so difficult to accept?'

'Because I grow the most when I decidethings for myself,'Linda said.' If I just listened to some guru and did what he wanted me to do,I wouldn't get anywhere.'

'A true teacher would never tellyou what to do,'Sadsaid.'But he would give you the knowledge with which you could decide what would be bestfor you todo. On the path to me, it isfi rst necessary to come to the understanding that you do not know. This is difficult for most. Everybody likes to think they know.

But when you are humble, you can learn a great deal very quickly. Do you understand, Linda?'

'I know what you're saying. I just don't agree with you.'

'That is fine, too.'

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'What about visualisation techniques?'Linda asked.

'Yes?'Sati said.

'Do they help us unfold our inner being? I use them a lot in daily life.'

'You like them?'

'Yes.'

'That is good,'Sati said.

Linda showed impatience.' But do you think they have a value?'

"They have a value, certainly. There's value in all these things. But for fathoming the inner being, the value is small. The mind is deep. It is as deep as an ocean. Some small imagination here or there on the surface does notdo much. I will give you an example. Say you have cancer. Today, these practices you speak of would have you im-agine that you are well. That your body is whole and fit.

Now it isy ou who has created your body. It is you who holds it together.I f is you who has made it sick.

But allthese things youhave done from a very deep level of the mind. If on the surface of the mind you imagine that you are healthy,whenthe deeper part of your mind is saying you're sick, then you only break the connection betweenthe mind andthe body further. Lack of mind-body co-ordination is what leads to sickness inthefirstplace.'

Linda was now annoyed.' But studies have shown that people who do visualisation exercises get better much quicker. What do you have to say about that?'

'Different studies show different things. If you enjoy these exercises, there is no reason you should stop.'

Linda tried a different approach.'W hat about dreams? I do a lot of work with my dreams. Does this have a value?'

'No. Dreams have different sources. Some come from your daily likes and dislikes. Some arise out of latent impressionsinthe mind so old you would have trouble imagining. Still others are premonitions. The trouble is, it is impossible to tell whatthe source is. Also, all dreams, in one form or another, arethe release of something. By putting your attention onthem, you re-emphasise those thingsthemind is trying to release. It'slike sorting through your garbage. It's unnecessary. It's all just garbage. Throw it out"

'So what you're saying essentially is that all my spiritual practices are garbage?'Linda asked. Sati did not respond. She just stared at Linda.It was obviously hard for Linda to take, although I'd always found Sati

's stare soothing.'Iknow for a fact that I feel better when I visualise whitelight,'Linda blurted out' I feel calmer,less stressed.You're not going to convince me differently."

'I am not trying to convince you of anything,'Sati said gently.' Butthelight isalready present inside you.

Some small turning of your attention and there it is. There is no need to visualise it. There are otherlights besides white. You have seenthem?'

Linda stopped.' Yes.'

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