Sati (21 page)

The third pitch was a curve ball. I got a piece of it, but not enough. The right fielder only had to jog a couple of steps to the side to catch my fly ball. The winning was over. David laughed at me as I walked back to the dug-out. I was disappointed. Timmy patted me on the back.

'We'llget him next time,'he said.

Before I went back on to the field - I played shortstop and I was pretty hot - my mother called to me. I jogged over to the bleachers.

'I should never have swung at that last pitch,'I complained.

'You hit it far,'she said, brushing the dust off my shirt.

I
should have hit it f
u
rther.
I
've got to get a home run or we'll lose
.'

She smiled.' There's time, Michael.'

'Iwish Dave wouldn't laugh at me whenI strike out. I don't like that.'

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

'Have him on your team next time.'

'Dave? Ugh! He's gross. I've got to go, Mom.'

She kissed me quickly.' Good luck.'

And then it was later in the game, in the bottom of the ninth inning, and the score was tied. I was up at bat again, and once again I had two strikes on me. David was already laughing. He thought he had me. I gripped the bat tightly. I would sock it out of the park, I swore to myself.

David threw a fastball,right at me. I saw it coming my way, butI didn 't have a chance to move. Ithitme hard on the knee, and Ifell to the ground in pain. Timmy ran over and helped me up. I went to shout something dirty at David, but Timmy stopped me.

'You're on base,'he said.' Let me bat and I'll knock you in.'

Timmy was right. We could win the game. I hurried to first base. Once there, I decided I would try to steal second. David knew what I had in mind. He kept a close eye on me.

I went for it on his first pitch. The catcher was slow throwing the ball to second base. I was safe standing up.

Timmy hit a clean line drive a couple of pitches later. I scored easily. The game was over. Nick dashed out of the dug-out and lifted me into the air. Timmy pumped my hand. It was great to win. I loved baseball.

My mother invited everyone back to our house. We built a big fire in the backyard and had a weenie roast. The evening was warm but there was plenty of ice-cold lemonade. David came up to me while I was munching on my third hot dog.

'Nice steal,'he said.

I forgot I was mad at him.' Thanks. You were throwing great today.'

'Couldn' t beat you guys, though,'he said.

'Hey, why don't you pitch for us tomorrow?'

He was surprised.' You'd let me?'

'Sure. Why not?'

'Michael!'my mother called to me from inside the house.

FIFTEEN

'Michael,'Satisaid softly. I opened my eyes. She was sitting beside me on the couch, her hand on my head. Quickly, she put her finger to her lips and nodded to Jenny, who was sound asleep and curled up beneath my arm.' Come,'Sati whispered, standing.

A minute later, we sat together at the kitchen table. It was dark outside. The wonderful vibes in the air
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

had diminished, although the feeling around Sati was pleasant as always.

'Where's the yogi?'I asked.

'He left a few minutes ago.'

'What did you two talk about?'

'The weather.'

'Seriously,'I said.

'We discussed who would be responsible for making the sun come up next year.'

'I see you're in a funny mood.'

Her big eyes shone.' I am completely fulfilled.'

'Aren't you always?'

'The depth of the ocean never changes. Only the surface waves change. Today I felt the thrill of a tidal wave.'

'He seemed like a neat guy,'I said.'I hope he didn't think it was rude that I fell asleep.'

'It was to be expected.'

'You know, I had this wonderful dream,'I said.' I was a kid in this small town. It was summer and all we had to do was play baseball and eat all day. Nick, Timmy and Dave were there. Nothing wild happened, but it was still neat.

We played a game of ball and our side won. Then we had hot dogs. I felt sad when you woke me. I grew up here in L.A., but in this town, I felt completely at home."

Satilistened closely.' Are you sure I wasn't there?'she asked.

'I don't think so. Do you like baseball?'

'I prefer to sit in the stands and shout words of en-couragement.'

'What do you mean?"

'Did you get a hit the first time you were up?'

'No.'

'But you hit the ball far,'she said.

I felt a strange tingling at the base of my spine.' That's what my mother told me,'I said so softly I could hardly hear the words.

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

'That was me.'She leaned forward, to where her face was only inches from my own.' Now I want you to take me to my home.'

My heart was pounding. Her reference had been too accurate to be a coincidence.' Can you really see inside my head?'

'I see all of you,'she said.

'What did this dream mean?'

'Nothing.'

'Please, tell me.'

'It was a latent impression of something that hasn't happened yet. It was a premonition, but also a memory. Does that help? I didn't think so. Don't ask me about dreams.'

'But you were really there, in that small town?'

'Yes. And tonight, you'll see a portion of my town. Take me home, Michael.'

'Where is your home?'I asked.

'In the desert, where you found me. Where I was born.'

I swallowed, understanding at last. For a long time now, she had been telling me
she
was mym other, that she was everyone's mother. Now it was clear what she meant when she stepped out of Timmy's hospital room right after he died.

I began to believe, notthat she was God, but that she
might
be
God.
The possibility filled me with such joy, I was terrified.

'Why didthese men come today?'I asked.

'To visit me.'

'But why today?'

She ignored my question.' I called Linda. She'll be here soon to pick up Jennifer. We can leave before she arrives. Your daughter will be safe.'

I held her eyes a long time.'
Who
are you?'

'Sati.'

She would tell me no more. We made ready to leave. A few minutes later, going down the apartment stairs with Sati, I heard my phone ring. I was afraid the noise would wake Jenny and that she would want to come. I dashed back to answer it. My fears about my daughter proved groundless; she was out cold.

I took the call in the kitchen. Sati had not followed me back up the stairs.

'Hello?'

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

'Mike,this is Dave. I've got to talk to you. Are you alone?'

'Sort of. Where have you been? A lot has happened. Nick and Mary got married.'

David wasn't interested.' I've been searching forK athy Lion. I've found her.'

'What?'

David's voice was uneven.' I was going to check into Sati's background, anyway. Then when I saw what she did in the hospital... Mike, she was going to
heal
Timmy. She would have done it if he had let her.

You saw that,didn't you? She wasn't bluffing.'

I nodded, closing my eyes.' I know.'

David took a breath.' I drove to Catson yesterday. I talked to Casey Barbers, like you did, I dug up everything I could on Kathy. It seems there was this guy in town she used to see occasionally. I went to his house. I had to slip him a hundred to get in his door. Turned out he'd received a postcard fromK athy a few days before. It had her L.A. address on it.'

'It wasn't my address?'I asked.

'It was a place in Hollywood.'He paused.' I went there.'

My throat was dry..' What does she look like?'

'She's blonde and has blue eyes. She's not as pretty as Sati, but she looks a lot like her. But if you think about it, so do a bunch of girls. She works in a topless joint.'

'Oh, God.'

'Mike, why did you tell me Sati was Kathy based on what Barbers told you? Couldn't you see that slob's as blind as a bat?'

'She wasn't that bad with her glasses on.'

'When I was there, she couldn't find her damn glasses!"

'Why are you so angry?'I asked.

'Let me ask you a question? Do you know who you're living with?'

'Sati.'

'And who is Sati?'

I felt weak. I leaned against the wall.' I don't know.'

We listened to each other's breathing for a minute. In silence David sounded more scared than angry; he was practically panting.' I've got to go,'I said finally.

Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

'Where?'he asked.

'I don't know.'I wasn't lying.

David paused.' We've got to know, Mike. Soon. You understand?'

Perhaps the three wise men had come to say good-bye to her.' I wonder if we'll be given the chance,'I said.

Sati and I rode by Pete's diner at two in the morning. Sati sat silent through most of the drive, sometimes with her eyes closed, other times staring off into the distance, tugging absently on her long hair, her bare feet tucked under her dress. As on the first night, I couldn't quit looking at her.

'Slow,'she whispered when we were five miles from Catson.

'Are we going to park?'

'Not yet. We will take the car across the sand.'

'Through these tumbleweeds?' I asked. We were in my Honda.

'There's a path. I will show you.'

Sati's path wasn't much different from the rest of the desert. The loose gravel scratched the bottom of the chassis, and the bumps gave my shocks a workout they didn't need. Yet I took strange pleasure in simply driving off the side of the road and disappearing into the night. All during the years I had driven my truck, I had felt like a slave to the road. Sati was right, I had to sell my truck.

My windshield wiper water reservoir was empty. The dust quickly piled up on the glass. Soon I was leaning halfway out the window to see where I was going. We were heading straight north. The lights of Catson faded into a glow on the horizon, and then disappeared altogether. The dry shrubs and cacti, caught in the snapshots of my bouncing headlights, looked like vegetation from another planet. I hoped Sati knew where we were going.

'Stop,'she said suddenly.

I hit the brakes.' Are we there?'

'We will walk now.'

'We can't drive any further?'

'There is a ravine less than a hundred yards in front of us.'She opened her door.' We will walk.'

Being a practical-minded individual, I was worried about little things like dehydration and snakes. It was night, but the temperature was in the low eighties and the air was bone dry. I had once been bitten by a rattlesnake while walking in the desert. It had been no fun. Sati waved away my concerns. She did, however, have me bring a flashlight.

We set off at a respectable clip, the hem of Sati's white dress swishing an inch above the ground. I tried to remem-ber the last time I had changed my flashlight batteries. The night was as black as a buried
Generated by ABC Amber LIT Conv
erter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

cavern, the stars as bright as deep space.

I was glad Satihad remembered the ravine. Had we gone into it head first in the car, we wouldn't have got out. On foot, though, the barrier was easily crossed. Emerging on the far side, Sati pointed to a shadow slicing across the sky. It was a nearby hill, a steep one at that.

Sati was not in a talkative mood. She wore the wooden sandals she had worn when we met. She moved effortlessly, soundlessly. The dry air irritated my throat. When we reached the hill and began to climb, my legs quickly tired. I began to pant Sati offered to carry the flashlight. Big deal, I thought, it only weighed a few ounces. I told her it was no problem. I was too much of a man to ask for a break.

The dirt on the hillwas different from the dirt on the desert below. It was firmer for one thing. Stooping for a moment to pluck a pebble from my shoe, I also noticed it was rich inquartz particles. They sparkled brightly in the beam of my light. It was easy to imagine we were actually climbing a mountain of diamonds.

Two-thirds of the way to the top, we came to a stream. By this time my thirst was a big ugly monster choking my throat. But when I knelt to drink, Sati stopped me.

'It springs from the summit,'she said.' Drink from there.'

She knew her home. When we reached the top, I was overjoyed to discover the fountain she had promised. The water bubbled from a crack running between two slabs of hard stone. Burying my face in the cool liquid, I hardly cared that I was drinking from what at the very least was a geological oddity.

Sati wasn't thirsty. She strolled casually about the flat hilltop. The way she moved and gestured, it was almost as if she were having a conversation with someone unseen. But she spoke no words until she spoke to me.

'Turn off your flashlight, Michael.'

'But we might stumble and fall off the edge,'I said.

She stepped towards me, her hand outstretched.' Take my hand, I won't let you fall.'Her fingers closed round mine, soft and comforting, I turned off the light The stars shone brighter than before. She added softly,' Only my hand is real.'

The Milky Way flowed across the sky. Even before Sati explained, I knew why she had brought me to the spot. As a youngster, I used to go camping in the mountains. In my sleeping bag, before closing my eyes, I would try to count allthe stars in the sky. I suppose kids everywhere did. Of course I always dozed off before I could finish. There were too many of them, not an infinite number perhaps, but close enough to make no difference. In-finity was a big word. It was a word Sati often used to describe who she really was. At that moment, standing beside her on the starry hilltop, it was easier to grasp things too big for words. I knew she had brought me there to help me understand better.