Savage (23 page)

She was surprised when Farrell agreed to Adam’s terms, and even more surprised when he moved toward the desk.

Especially since the papers were, at this very moment, in her room upstairs.

And then she understood. She put her hand solidly against Lily’s back, rubbing to keep her calm. Then she watched as Farrell pulled a key from his pocket and moved to the desk.

F
arrell moved slowly
, trying to buy Leo more time to prepare, hoping Jenna would see what he was trying to do. He put the key in his desk drawer, unlocked it, slowly opened the drawer.

He reached inside, casually, easily. Like he was really going after something like a stack of papers.

When he got there, he closed his hand around one of the weapons and everything seemed to slow down. Leo reached into the drawer at the speed of sound, grabbing the other weapon. He only had a moment to feel relief that Jenna had pushed Lily onto the floor, thrown her own body over their daughter.

Then he raised his weapon and fired at Adam’s head. He froze, a look of surprise appearing on his face at the same time the bullet hole in his forehead started to bleed.

Two more gunshots rang through the room, and the men who had been holding Jenna and Lily dropped to the floor. He looked over at Leo, still holding the gun.

“I don’t hear anything,” Farrell said, listening.

“Me, either.”

Farrell nodded, put down the weapons. “Clear the house.”

Leo breathed a sigh of relief. “You got it.”

And then he was running for Jenna and Lily, pulling them both into his arms, trying to beat back the knowledge that he had almost lost them for good.

J
enna put
the last of Lily’s things in her pink suitcase and zipped it closed. She’d left the clothing Farrell had purchased for Lily, both because it didn’t seem right to take them and because she knew Lily would visit him in the months ahead.

“There we are.” She forced a smile for Lily even as her heart felt like it was hemorrhaging, spilling every bit of hope she’d accumulated onto the floor.

“Why are we leaving, Mummy?” Lily asked. She was sitting on the bed with one of her dolls. “I haven’t gotten to ride the horses yet.”

“I know,” Jenna said. “I’m sorry. You can ride them the next time you visit.”

“What about Daddy?” Lily asked. “Is he coming with us to London?”

“Not this time, love. But you’ll be seeing him soon.”

Mrs. Pendleton stepped into the room, and set about straightening Lily’s bed. She was still pale and drawn from the shootout that had occurred on the grounds two days before, but Jenna had to give her credit for her stiff upper lip. She had insisted on returning to work, going about the business of running the house.

If only Jenna could be so stoic. She’d tried. Had told herself nothing mattered but the fact that Lily was alive and well. Had reminded herself that it was Farrell who had saved them by killing the men who’d been pointing guns at them.

Intellectually, she knew it was all true. She understood it wasn’t Farrell’s fault the men had come here in the first place. If anything, it had been her stubborn insistence on finding out what her father had been hiding.

But none of it seemed to make a difference, and she’d spent the last two days jumping at every loud noise, laying awake in the dark, trying to shake the feeling that this would be their life if she stayed with Farrell. Maybe not right away, but eventually there would be another threat, and that threat would come from men prepared to take on Farrell Black. Violent men who would be met with equal violence by Farrell in his efforts to protect Jenna and Lily.

And Lily would be in the middle of it, a piece to be played by those who wanted to hurt Farrell.

Farrell…

Her heart slowed to a dull thud at the thought of leaving him. He was furious by what had happened here, and while she knew it hurt him that Adam had been a traitor, he’d hidden his sadness behind a steely facade and a determination to reinforce security at his properties across the world, the loft included. He was doing it for her. For her and Lily. To show her that he would spare no expense to keep them safe.

And it should have made her feel safe. The grounds were crawling with armed men, and an electric fence had already been commissioned to guard the perimeter of the property.

But she didn’t feel safe. She felt scared and lonely. Like she and Lily were being bricked up bit by bit behind a stone wall. Hidden away from the world.

Everything had happened too fast. She’d fallen back into Farrell’s life at a time when she’d been weak and vulnerable. She’d let her heart cloud her judgement when she could afford no such luxury.

She hadn’t told him she was leaving. She didn’t want a protracted goodbye. Didn’t want to give him time to talk her out of it. She and Lily would start over in London where Farrell could see Lily on a regular basis, where she would have the comfort of Kate and her mother and Mrs. Hodges to see her back on her feet. She would get a job, take some time to breathe and figure out what she wanted for them.

What she was willing to sacrifice.

“Thank you for coming,” Jenna said to Mrs. Pendleton. “Will you stay with Lily a moment?”

“Of course.” Mrs. Pendleton was no simpleton. She must know that Jenna planned to leave, but she didn’t say a word, just set out the little cups and saucers for her and Lily to have tea with the dolls.

“Thank you. Would you… would you bring Lily down in twenty minutes, please?”

She nodded, looking at her watch as if to mark the time.

“I’ll see you soon,” she said to Lily.

She looked around the room, taking it all in one last time, then picked up her bag and Lily’s suitcase and stepped into the hall. She made her way to the stairs, passing two uniformed men who were there to wire the windows for security. She descended the grand staircase and turned toward the back of the house, stopping in the doorway of Farrell’s office.

He was sitting at his desk, pouring over plans for the new security system, his brows knitted together in concentration. It was hard to breathe looking at him. Hard to imagine being apart from him again. Going even one day without being able to look in his eyes, feel his lips on hers, his hands on her body.

But she’d already made up her mind, and this time there would be no second guessing.

She stepped into the room and set down Lily’s suitcase. He looked up, his eyes lighting when he saw her.

“Hey, there,” he said. “Come have a look at this — ”

He froze, his eyes glued to the pink suitcase. When he returned his gaze to her, his eyes were cold. “What are you doing, Jenna?”

She swallowed hard. She was suddenly afraid. Not that he would be angry, although he would be. But because he would be hurt, and he would hide it behind an impenetrable sheet of ice that she might never again be able to breach.

“I have to… I have to go back to London,” she said.

“If your mother all right? Kate?” He asked the questions like he already knew the answers.

“They’re fine,” she said.

He crossed his big arms over his chest. “Then why are you leaving?”

She looked down. “I just… I need some time, Farrell. To process all of this. To figure out what’s next.”

“I thought we were what’s next,” he said. “You and me and Lily.”

“I was beginning to think that, too,” she said. “But now…”

“Now?”

She shook her head, looked around the room where the shootout had happened. Where she had watched Adam Denman and two of his men fall dead. Where she’d feared for the life of her daughter and the man she loved. “I need space from all this for awhile.”

“From me, you mean,” he said, shuffling papers on his desk. “Fine. I’ll have Leo drive you to the airport. The plane can have you back in London by tonight.”

She crossed the distance between them, stilled his hands with her own. He looked at her, anguish in his stormy eyes, and she lay a hand on his cheek. “I’m not saying this is the end. I’m just saying… everything happened so fast. I’m not prepared for any of it. But I’m going to stay in London, and you can see Lily anytime you want.”

“What about you?” He looked into her eyes. “Can I see you anytime I want?”

She blinked back tears. “Can we play it by ear?”

His jaw hardened. “I suppose that’s your decision to make.”

She stepped closer, wrapped her arms around him. For a moment, he stood with his arms at his sides, his body stiff, but then his arms came around her, his hands stroking her hair.

“Stay,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Stay with me.”

She lay her head against his chest as a tear fell onto his shirt. “I can’t. Not now.”

He drew in a breath. She heard it move through him, like it was painful for his body to keep breathing. “I love you, Jenna. Always have, always will.”

She stood on tip-toe and touched her lips to his mouth. “And my heart still wants you. Always has, always will.”

She stepped away from him, afraid that if she stayed any longer she would never leave. She forced one foot in front of the other as she headed for the door. Forced herself not to look back.

Maybe Kate was right. Maybe her head got her into trouble. But it was the only thing she could count on.

The heart was too dark and dangerous a thing.