Savage Splendor (Savage Lagonda 2) (31 page)

It was from Sasha that Mara learned of her first long journey from St. Louis to the hidden valley. She was surprised to learn that Tajarez had accompanied her and Jeffery on that journey. Mara began to suspect that Sasha knew about her and Tajarez, for any time Mara tried to ask questions about the king, Sasha would tactfully change the subject.

Suddenly Mara needed to know if she and Tajarez had been together on her first trip to this valley. "Sasha, on the journey from St. Louis, did . . . were Tajarez and I lovers?" she asked, her face flaming red.

"Oh no, Mara, Tajarez did not touch you then!"

"How can you be sure?"

"You must trust me that I am telling you the truth in this, Mara. My king did not dishonor you at that time."

"Sasha, do you know who is the father of Andrew? The answer to who his father is seems to plague me more than anything else. Why does the man not come forth to claim his son?"

"Mara, only you can answer that question. I pray each night that you will find that part of your life that you have lost, then you yourself will know the truth about Andrew's father."

That night Jeffery returned to the City, but Sasha told Mara that Tajarez was still away.

Mara tried to avoid encountering her brother. She did not like him very much and did not want to see him. If she was visiting Sasha and Jeffery came in, she would make an excuse to leave. She remembered when Jeffery had come to the cabin to take her home. She had trusted him blindly, and now she was living to rue the day he had taken her away from Jake and Zeke. Somehow, some way, she would find a way to leave this valley. Nothing was impossible. If one wanted something badly enough, one could make anything happen.

Palomas came to Mara daily and accompanied her on a walk in the garden. She felt comfortable with him and began to look forward to their daily walks. For some reason that Mara could not understand, she had been barred from the anteroom, and there were times when she was forbidden access to the garden. When she questioned Palomas about the reason, he told her that when the royal prince and princess were in the garden she would be unable to go there.

Mara did not know that Tajarez had taken precautions so she would not see Hamez and Tamera. He did not want her to find out they were her son and daughter while he was away looking for Sagas. One look at their green eyes and she might guess that she was their mother.

Mara and Palomas were walking in the garden. It was a warm day and the wind had died down, so she had bundled Andrew up warmly, thinking the fresh air would do him good. Palomas was carrying him, and Mara noticed the loving expression on Palomas's face as he smiled at Andrew. She was suddenly struck with a horrible thought. Palomas was Andrew's father! Why had she not seen it before? Why else would he be so devoted to her and Andrew? He was always near, watching over them.

Looking up, Palomas saw the color drain from Mara's face. "What is the matter, Mara? Are you ill?" he asked in a concerned voice. He took her hand and led her to a bench and sat her down on it.

Mara shook her head in disbelief. "Why did you not tell me? Why did you let me wonder who was the father of my son?" she whispered.

"If you would tell me what you are asking, perhaps I could answer you, Mara," he said, hoping at long last that she was beginning to remember her past life.

"You are the father of Andrew!" she cried.

Palomas looked dumbfounded that she could have drawn such a wrong conclusion. "You think I fathered your son?" His face eased into a smile, as if he were amused by her declaration.

"You could have told me, although it was there for me to see all the time. I wonder why I did not see it before now."

Palomas placed Andrew in Mara's lap and then knelt down beside her. "Mara, if you place any value on my life, you would not make such a rash statement. Never say this while in the presence of others." His voice still sounded as if he were amused.

"What do you mean?"

He laughed out loud, and she was startled by his humor. Palomas rarely ever smiled, and she did not see anything to be amused about now.

"What I am saying to you, Mara, is that I could not have fathered Andrew, nor any other child, for that matter."

"Oh," she said, not understanding, and ducking her head in shame.

"Mara, look at me," he said, raising her chin. "As the queen's protector, I had to go through a ceremony that rendered me impotent. I cannot lie with a woman, therefore, I could not be the father of your son."

Mara's face reddened, and she tried to hide her horror. "What kind of monster is this queen that she would ask for the manhood of a warrior such as yourself? I did not like her before, I could easily hate her now."

Palomas still seemed amused. "Mara, what was done to me was not of the queen's doing. I allowed the operation of my own free will. I find it a great honor to serve my queen, as would any man I know. There are countless men who would gladly exchange places with me. I have heard it said that when the queen heard of my operation, she was as horrified as you are at this moment."

"I think it is inhuman, no matter how you try to convince me otherwise. Why is she so important that you would give up so much to serve her?"

Palomas stood up to his full height, unwilling to discuss the matter further. "Mara, should you not take Andrew inside? The wind seems to have come up suddenly."

"In other words," she said standing up and looking at him angrily, "you do not want to hear me criticize your precious queen."

Her led her toward the palace. "I do not like to hear anything said against her," he admitted.

Mara stopped their progress and looked up at Palomas. "What is there about this woman that inspires such devotion from so many?" she wanted to know.

"She is the queen," Palomas said, as if that would explain everything.

The days seem to drag by slowly, and the elusive queen did not appear, nor did Tajarez return.

Mara found herself wishing she were allowed to enter the anteroom. If she could only study the drawings on the wall, it would help time pass more quickly. It seemed as if time was holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. Endless hours followed endless hours. One morning Mara was told that the king had returned, and it seemed he was keeping his word to her, for he had not sought her out.

Andrew was growing rapidly. He liked to crawl around on the floor putting everything he could find into his mouth. Sasha had given Mara John's outgrown clothing, and Mara had ordered Falon to get rid of the things Vista had sent her for her son.

Spring was gradually winning over winter. Most of the days were warm and sunny, and the moisture that fell from the skies was now in the form of spring rains instead of winter snows. The garden was beginning to come to life. There were tiny green buds on the trees, and Mara felt the time was fast approaching for her to try to leave this valley. She needed to have a plan and to watch for the right opportunity.

She now accepted the fact that her memory was never going to return. The past was dead, the future unsure. Many times at night when Mara was alone she would cry out in her despair.

24

On my bed at night I toss and turn

As this jealousy inside me begins to burn.

Mara and Palomas were strolling in the garden. Palomas carried Andrew on his shoulders, and the baby squealed with delight at each new discovery he made. He seemed pleased with the brightly colored butterflies that had made the garden their home. Mara loved the tiny dark-skinned baby who seemed to infect everyone with his laughter and sweet smile.

Palomas lifted Andrew from his shoulders and tossed him into the air. Andrew's eyes grew bright and he laughed in gleeful delight.

Mara was not aware that other eyes watched them. Jealous eyes. Tajarez was not at all pleased that his own son knew Palomas better than he did his own father. Mara seemed to enjoy being with the fierce warrior, and when Mara smiled at Palomas it was like daggers in Tajarez's heart. He had come up behind them silently, and Mara was startled when he spoke.

"Hello, Mara, do you mind if I join you?"

Spinning around to face him. Mara could feel her heart skip a beat. She had not seen him in such a long time, and she had hoped she had gotten over her feelings for him. But one look into his dark eyes and she knew she still felt the same.

"This is your garden, Tajarez," she said trying to sound normal.

Tajarez's eyes moved to the child in Palomas's arms. "It seems your son thrives. He has grown since last I saw him."

"Yes. The medicine man assures me that Andrew is a healthy boy."

"Yes, Tabo has said the same thing to me." He looked back to Mara. "He also told me that you have not regained any of your memory."

Palomas handed Andrew to Mara and withdrew a few paces.

"I have accepted the fact that I will never remember the past. It no longer seems as important to me as it once did," she answered him, trying to avoid his dark eyes, which seemed to be pulling at her heart.

Andrew took an interest in the stranger. Seeing the bright, shiny crown on Tajarez's head, he reached out his arms to him. Mara grabbed Andrew's hands and tried to distract him, but Andrew was not easily swayed from his quest. Jerking his hands free of his mother's grasp, he leaned toward Tajarez.

Tajarez took the tiny boy in his arms and smoothed his dark silky hair from his face. His eyes wandered lovingly over the face of the son he could not acknowledge.

"I am sorry, Tajarez. Andrew is a very loving child, and he seems to have a mind of his own."

"He is a beautiful child," Tajarez said in an unsteady voice.

"Thank you. I am pleased when anyone admires Andrew."

"I wonder if you would allow Falon to bring Andrew to the nursery today, so Hamez and Tamera might see him?" Tajarez asked.

Mara looked undecided for a moment. "I do not know. Why would you want Andrew to be with your children?"

"I think they would enjoy seeing him. It would please me if you were to say yes."

"I suppose it would do no harm," she said, puzzled by his request. "I have been told by Sasha that your children are very beautiful."

"Yes, they are, but no more so than Andrew," Tajarez told her as he handed her son back to her. He started to walk away from her when Mara spoke.

"Please, do not go yet. There is something of great importance I wish to ask you."

He paused and waited for her to speak, nodding his dark head.

"It is spring, and I was wondering if you would allow me to visit my brother David, in St. Louis?"

His face seemed to freeze and his eyes narrowed. "I had hoped you would not be content to abide with us. I have kept my word to you and stayed away from you."

"Why can you not see, I do not want to stay here? This is not my home. Please allow me to leave."

"What if I were to give you the freedom to go where you wished in the City, would you then consider staying with me . . . with us?"

"No, I need to leave here; I feel if I do not get away, I will lose what little of my sanity I have left."

He sat down on a bench and looked at the golden hair that framed her lovely face. Great Father, how he hated to play the heavy-handed king with her, when all he really wanted to do was give her anything that would make her smile again. "Have you thought that life would be like for your son in the white man's world? Andrew would never be accepted, the other children would taunt and ridicule him, and their mothers and fathers would forbid them to play with him. Would it not be far better for you and Andrew to remain here with us?" he said, knowing he was taking unfair advantage of her love for her child.

"I have thought about what you are saying, but I cannot bring myself to leave him, and I cannot stay."

"Mara, I have seen to it that you are given everything within reason that you ask for. You have someone to see to your every need. If there is anything you desire, I will see that you have it, but... do not ask me to let you leave."

"You cannot see how I feel. How many times must I tell you, I want to be free! I do not want any of the things you offer. Freedom to me would be more precious than life!"

Tajarez reached out his hand and touched her soft cheek. "Oh, Mara, I have kept my word to stay away from you. Never has it been so hard for me to keep my word. I want to hold you and help you to be rid of all your fears. Come with me now, and I will do no more than you will allow."

Tears welled up in her eyes, and he pulled her head to rest against his broad shoulder. "Please keep your word to me, for you are far stronger than I. I fear I would give you all you asked," she admitted, surprising not only herself, but Tajarez as well.

Tajarez pushed her away from him and stood up. "Great Father, this whole thing begins to tell on me. You once told me you detested me, now you admit you are drawn to me. What are your true feelings?"

"I do not know, all I am certain of is what I want to get away."

"I will never allow you to leave, Mara. Never!"

Mara looked at Palomas, who was standing at a discreet distance from them. "I will find a way to leave, Tajarez. You can put guards on me but they cannot watch me every moment. You have my word, before too many more days have passed, I will be gone."

Tajarez's face creased into a frown and his dark eyes became piercing. Before Mara suspected his intentions, he reached for Andrew and called out to Palomas.

"Take the child to the royal nursery," he told Palomas, handing Andrew to him.

"No, you cannot do this!" Mara cried out reaching for her son, but Tajarez grabbed her about the waist, restraining her, while Palomas gave her a sympathetic glance. "Palomas, do not take my baby away from me!"

Palomas turned his back on her and walked toward the palace. He thought he had never before wanted to disobey his king as he did at that moment.

"I do not think I will need a guard to keep you here, Mara. You would never leave without Andrew, and he will remain in the nursery with Hamez and Tamera."

As Mara struggled to be free of him, Tajarez's grip tightened about her waist.

"Are you such a monster that you would take a baby who is not yet weaned from his mother!" she screamed.

"Do not fear, Vista will find a suitable woman to feed your son. I suggest you go to your room now," he said, in a voice of authority.

Mara jerked free of him and raised her head proudly. She would not beg and grovel at his feet. The mighty king of the Seven Cities had just overstepped his bounds. She was not beaten, and if he thought she was, then he was a bigger fool than she thought him to be.

Tajarez watched as she walked away from him, her back straight and her head high. He had never loved her more, nor trusted her less, than he did at that moment.

Tajarez entered the nursery and was greeted by a beaming Vista, who was holding Andrew in her arms. "He is wonderful, my king. I am glad to get to hold him at last. He looks very much like you."

"Do you think so?" he said, pleased at her observation.

"It is so, my king."

He entered a second room, where the twins were playing on the floor. Vista handed Andrew into his arms and then withdrew to give him privacy with his three children.

Tajarez sat down on the floor and held Andrew out for Tamera and Hamez's inspection. "I have a surprise for you. Someone special has come to see you. You must be very patient and gentle with him, for he is but a baby."

"I like babies," Hamez said, looking with interest at the child in his father's arms.

"Can I hold him?" Tamera said, moving to her father's side.

"Yes, you may hold him, for, you see, this baby belongs to you and your brother. He is my son as Hamez is my son, and he is brother to each of you."

"Brother," Hamez said.

"Yes. His name is Andrew, and he is your brother."

Tamera clapped her hands delightedly, but Hamez merely looked puzzled. "Can this brother play with me?"

"No, not until he grows bigger. He is very small."

Tamera peered down at her newly acquired brother. "Oh," she said in an awed voice, as she reached out her hand to touch Andrew's soft cheek. Andrew blessed her with a winsome smile and Tamera clapped her hands in delight.

Hamez looked down at his brother and nodded his approval. "I like him," he announced.

Tajarez lifted Andrew to his face and held him against his cheek. There was no one who could deny him the right to his son. In the privacy of the nursery he could show him the love he had kept secret.

A smile creased Tajarez's face as Andrew began to snuggle close to him. "I love you, my son; Forgive me for the neglect. I will make it all up to you now."

"Tamera hold baby," his daughter said, holding out her arms.

Tajarez placed Andrew in her small, willing arms. "You must hold him secure, Tamera." Tajarez urged as he helped her support her brother.

"I love him," she said as she placed a kiss on his bronzed cheek.

"I want him to play with me," Hamez said, touching the soft, silky hair that covered the baby's head.

"I told you, Hamez, Andrew is too small to play with you now. You must be patient until he grows."

"He is very nice," Hamez said, giving his approval again.

"You are his father?" Tamera wanted to know.

"Yes, just as I am your father."

"Can we keep him?" Hamez wanted to know.

Tajarez looked into the faces of the twins and saw their eagerness: "Yes, Andrew will be staying with you."

The eyes of the tiny prince royal lit up. "How long will it take for him to grow up?"

Tajarez smiled. "Hardly any time at all, Hamez. Before you know it, Andrew will be big enough to play with you."

Mara lay dry-eyed across her bed. She had sent Falon to the nursery to bring Andrew back to her. She heard the door open and rolled over to see Falon with a dejected frown on her face.

"Where is my son, Falon?" Mara demanded.

"Mara, I was told that Andrew would be staying in the royal nursery with the twins," Falon told her, distressed by the look on her queen's face, and not understanding why the king had taken Andrew away.

"For how long, Falon?"

Falon ducked her head. "Vista told me the king said Andrew would be staying in the nursery permanently."

Mara had not really believed that Tajarez would follow through with his threat. After she had had time to think about it, she had decided he would merely use Andrew to make her submissive to his will.

"Your king oversteps his authority. I will go to the nursery and get my son." Mara said raising from the bed and placing her hands on her hips.

"Mara, the guard at the stairs will not allow you to climb to the second floor where the nursery is."

"Where is Tajarez?"

"I am told that he is in the small chamber just off the anteroom," Falon said, wondering what Mara would do to get her son back.

"I will go to him and demand that he return my son to me," Mara said as she stormed to the door and pushed past Falon.

"Mara, the king's word is law," Falon cried in a futile attempt to stop Mara from being hurt any more than she had already been.

"Perhaps for you his word is law, but not for me," Mara said pushing the door open and slamming it behind her.

Falon covered her face with her hands, wondering what would happen when the queen encountered the king.

Mara burst into the room where she had been told she would find Tajarez. He had been talking to Palomas and when Mara entered both men looked up at her. Both of them knew her well, and they knew by the look on her face that she had come to do battle. Palomas looked at Tajarez and walked to the door, leaving Mara to face his king alone.

"Come in, Mara I have been expecting you." He gave her a mock bow. "Would you care to sit down?"

She ignored his offer to sit. "I do not care if you are king, I will not tolerate your taking my baby from me. Andrew belongs with me. You have had your fun at my expense, you have made me squirm, now you just go and get Andrew and bring him to me," she demanded.