Save Me (Rock Romance #4) (7 page)

I wake up the same as I went to bed with a smile on my face. Because I’m a member of the band, it was a pretty easy task calling the label to get Abagail’s number. I couldn’t resist sending her a message as soon as I added her as a contact in my phone. I know that I shouldn’t be trying to get to know her, even as a stranger because deep down I know how she really is. But I can’t stay away. Friendly texting has to be the only way. She cannot find out that it’s me.

“Rise and shine bitch.” Jason says as he slides my curtain open.

“Rules dude, rules. What if I was jerking myself off in here? You wanna see that shit? Does that turn you on?”
I ask huskily.

“
You know it baby, just some advice though, I like the rough tugs, not slow and gentle.” Jason says while motioning just how he likes it with his hand.

“Get the fuck out of here,” I say while closing my curtain.

I hear him laugh as he walks away, douche. He’s the one who created the rules, and because of that he feels like he’s the only one who can break them, any time he wants.

Deciding that sleep is no longer an option, I open my curtain and go in search of my luggage. On our last
bus, we had one large private room in the back that had a separate bathroom and closet with a large bed. We used to rotate nights in the bed, even if we didn’t have a partner until Ryan and Natalie became more than enemies. With our new buses, they took out the room and installed storage. The room was now opened, and used as an extra living room. Where the bathroom would be was instead a wall of closed-door closets. We each had our own, including two more empty closets.

I grab some jeans and a tee-shirt out of the closet and change, while throwing my dirty clothes into the hamper we installed on board for dingy clothing. No more wearing already soiled clothes, because we wouldn’t be stopping at a laundry mat for weeks. With our new tour
schedule, we can stop weekly now.

Luxury is what it is.
Temperance makes everything better. I thought it might take a bit more to get used to, touring with family, with a baby. But the slowing our traveling down is turning out to be better No doubt we’ll be able to recover from shows.

Just
outside of Raleigh we stop at a gas station, not only to fill up but to regroup with everyone as to where we will be staying, where the show is and what it is that everyone wants to do before our show tonight. We ended up arriving with tonight free and the show being tomorrow, not only that, but we will also have three additional days before our next stop. So if we all choose we can spend an extra days here and have two additional days before our next show in the city of the next stop.

I step off the bus as does Jason and Zepp following me over to a picnic table that sits outside of the store, where Ryan, Liam, Layla, and Natalie, Temperance in her hands are located. Abagail is already there too, she looks more beautiful then I remember her, even if it was only yesterday. She catches my stare, for a moment I remain frozen in her clutches. Her eyes are
pained, I look away first, not wanting her to know how much I want her.

Seeing her in pain, knowing that I’m the cause of her pain only makes me want to take her hurt away. Turning away from her gaze, only so she doesn’t get her hopes up. I’m not the person for her, I never will be. There is no way now or in the future that I would be okay with someone pretending to care or even love me for their gains, and theirs alone.

Pissed at Ryan, I choose to stand next to Jason, who’s at the other end of the circle that’s now gathered.

“By now you
should have all gotten my email about how we are on time. The first show of the tour isn’t until 10 P.M. tomorrow night so you all have at least tonight free, tomorrow I’ll need everyone on their game. I would like it if you all reported back to the hotel tonight at a decent time, that way you all get a good night’s rest, in the afternoon we’ll ride over to the venue together. I’ve already taken care of a limousine, for some reason the label only worked out venues contracts and hotel stops. They didn’t help with anything else. So I spent most of this morning calling services in every area and caterers. You will all be sleeping in warm beds tonight with full stomachs. The drivers know where to go from here, to the hotel. We will regroup on the way over to the venue tonight. Anyone have any questions?”

“I’m not going to have to share a room with anyone am I?” Jason barks out. “Because if I do, I’d rather share my room with you.”

I give him a glare of death.
She’s mine
damn it, I say with my eyes. Clamping my lips shut so I don’t end up saying it out loud.

“You will all be sharing rooms, all except for Ryan, Natalie, Liam, and Layla will have two beds in their room. Sorry to burst your bubble though Jason, I’m already paired up with someone.” Abagail laughs.

“Who?” I can’t help but to ask.

Now she gives me her attention
. She focuses on me with question marks in her eyes.

“
Zepp.”

“No.”

“No? I don’t think it matters who I will be rooming with Gage.”

“You’re rooming with me, not him.”

Zepp interrupts, “I don’t think it matters either, Gage, leave her alone.”

I glance at him, anger and a hint of jealousy in my eyes.

“She’s rooming with me, you can share a room with whoever I was supposed to. Decision made.”

He puts his hands in the air as a sign of defeat. “Sorry Abby, I tried.”

“Whatever. You’re rooming with Jim then, Zepp.” She says walking away, boarding the roadie bus soon after.

“Who’s Jim?” Zepp asks me.

“Hell if I know. But he’s your new roommate for the night.”

“No, really, who is Jim?” He asks again, his eyes scrunched up in confusion.

We all board our buses and head to the hotel, meanwhile I hear Zepp still asking who Jim is. Fuck if I know.

Almost a full
until meet up time, I’m sure I can find something to do to waste my free time away.

“You
know Gage, you really confuse me.”

“How so?” I ask harshly, not recognizing my own voice. It’s this damn haze that she puts me in
, when I’m around her. I can’t come out of it long enough to remember that I really shouldn’t want anything to do with her.

“The first night that we met, that wasn’t how I
usually act.”

“What do you mean, you don’t share the bed of a stranger
regularly? Or is it that you don’t usually go rifling through their clothes? Exactly what isn’t you?” I ask sitting my suitcase on my assigned bed, the one she didn’t claim.

She stops from taking clothes out of her bag to answer my question. “I don’t
usually share the bed of a man I just met, and I wasn’t going through your shit. If you had let me explain, I could have told you what I was doing. Instead you decided to be a complete dick and insinuate that I was a whore.” She says, angry all over again about the entire situation.

“I have time now. Why don’t you exp
lain why I caught one of your hands in my jeans and another holding my wallet? Enlighten me.”

“So I told you I don’t do random hook ups. I didn’t know how to leave, should I have woke you? Say goodbye, give
n you a hug? What? I’m not familiar with that etiquette.
‘Thanks for a splendid time, I’m leaving now. See ya around’
is that what I should have said after waking you? I can’t change how it played out, but what you actually caught me doing was searching for your phone. I left mine back at my friend’s apartment, I never bring my cell out with me. I was going to call for a ride. I wasn’t snooping through your shit.” She sighs out, taking her first breath.

Well, if she’s telling the truth, this certainly changes things.

“You could’ve woken me up and maybe asked to use my phone. It wouldn’t have been so alarming if you did. How the hell was I supposed to know? You didn’t say anything.”

“I tried, you wouldn’t let me.”

Fuck.
She’s right.

But,
Sam.

Sam.

“Even now, you’ve had time to come up with a reasonable excuse how do I know you’re actually telling me the truth?”

“Are you being serious right now?” She pokes me in the chest. “Call the hotel we stayed in, ask them. One of the ladies at the front desk are sure to remember me.”

“Why? What would make them remember you?”

“They’d remember the
total stranger they attempted to console trust me. The one who ran into their hotel lobby face a complete mess, crying like an adolescent teen whose hopes were crushed. That’s why.” She says as she enters the bathroom.

“An adolescent teen?” I question.

“I’ve liked you for years, I thought you were someone you apparently aren’t. When I walked away that morning, I wasn’t just hurt by what you said. I was hurt that the person I built you up to be wasn’t the same person I came to know in that short period of time.”

“
Abagail…
” She slams the door in my face.

She must have done a number on him, the girl who held his heart before. Not that I know if anyone ever has, but it’s obvious in the way that he has no trust for anyone other than his close circle of friends.
I don’t even know why I chose to run into the bathroom other than to get away from the intense conversation he wanted to have. Okay, maybe I wanted the discussion too, it was long overdue and it seems that if my job is to be a successful and peaceful one, starting over with Gage would be a good choice.

One thought keeps nagging at me though, he didn’t give me a chance then, why even ask me to explain myself now? When he could have months ago, or
fuck
, any time after that.

Start over.

Forget every mean word he spoke in my direction.

I can do it, forgive, I mean. A new chance. Throw whatever feelings I still have for him and lock it away.
He’s not a safe choice, his career requires just as much traveling as mine does. I want someone to be my safe choice, no risk, and my home, stable. Gage isn’t that for me.

Reality stabs my heart, making it hard to breathe. The
truth that I had wanted, in my past, him to be a choice, I was willing to make that
risk
for him, before he shoved me away with insults. Friends. That’s what I’ll try to be.

“Gage?”
I call out through the bathroom door, in my haste to get away from him I forgot to bring a change of clothes in the bathroom with me.

No answer.

“Gage?” I yell out a little louder, this time through the crack in the door that I made by opening it slightly ajar.

Still no answer, I open the door slowly checking to see if he was actually in the room but just choosing to ignore me. I walk ov
er to my bed the towel wrapped around my body, my suitcase still opened laying on top of the white down comforter I quickly grab a clean change of clothes out, in case Gage comes back into the room.

“Ahhhh Jesus-fucking-Christ!” I scream, my hand flying to my chest completely forgetting to hold onto the towel was holding in place.

“I was going to apologize for scaring you, but now that I think about it, I’m really not sorry. Actually I’m pretty damn happy that I decided to sneak up on ya.”

I roll my eyes, before bending down to retrieve the one scrap of modesty I have left.

“You don’t have to cover yourself, I mean I have seen it before.” Gage says while trying to pull the towel out of my hand.

“I’d rather not do this with you, please just let go.” I beg with my eyes, my tolerance with him has hit its limit for the day.

Instead, he pulls harder on the lightly damp towel, my hand holding onto it just as tightly causes me to be yanked in the same direction he pulls.

To him.

I land with my naked chest rubbing against his clothed one, one of his hands clutching the towel, the other gripping my hip. My breath hitches and he hears it.

“Gage, I don’t think…”

He cuts me off, “stop thinking. Just stop.”

His lips land against mine roughly, taking and giving.
He swipes his tongue along my lips, begging for entrance. I cave, opening my mouth to him, silently asking him to plunge into the depths with me.

He bites my lip, then soothes it with the swipe of his tongue. He clutches me to him, every contour of his body aligned with mine.
His mouth possesses mine, he takes
all of me.

I pull back, just a little, “
please
.” I plead breathlessly.

He grips my hip roughly with one hand, while slowly grazing his fingertip over my nipple.

“More.”

This time he pulls back.
“Tell me what you want.” He demands of me, his eyes looking directly into mine.

‘You. I want
you
.”

His mouth plunders mine at the end of my words, swallowing anything else I was going to say, robbing me of breath. Gage swiftly lifts me up, I wrap my legs around his hips, tightly. Undulating myself against his rigid member that’s still hidden by clothes.

Deep down I know that I could come to regret this. That maybe I should be berating myself. That goodness should be sitting on my shoulder telling me that this is a mistake, this could cost me my career, I should stop it now. Evil wins,
it always does
; it’s reminding me that there’s a possibility this won’t happen again. I’ll be damned if I don’t take the opportunity to taste him, even if it’s just one last time.

Gage sits me on top of his bed. Here I am in all my naked glory, legs spread shamelessly. He rips his shirt off, followed by his jeans. The outline of his glorious cock made
visible by his current predicament.

I attempt to sit up, so that I can pull his briefs down, just for a little
taste, but he stops me.

“I need to kiss you.” He says in a guttural
tone while glancing down to the lips between my legs.

He pulls me down the bed, so that I’m on the verge of falling off. He lifts my legs up over his shoulders. Kissing each thigh as it greets his check.
He swipes his tongue at my entrance, once, twice, then pulls back suddenly replacing his tongue with his finger. He slides one in, slowly thrusting in and out. He looks to me with a knowing smirk that he is my undoing.

He continues thrusting in and out of me, bringing me to the brink of
orgasm. Stopping mid-thrust he places his mouth on me again, this time nibbling and licking my clit. He keeps me on the cliff that I’m dying to dive off, a cliff of complete bliss.

I raise my hips then drop them back down on the bed, riding his fingers and his tongue. If he
doesn't give me this orgasm willingly, I’ll force it on him. It takes me off guard, how hard it hits. My orgasm still racing through my veins I’m flipped over onto my stomach.

His hands gripping my hips, his fingers sure to leave indentations. Gage rubs his cock up and down my slit, spreading my wetness. He slams into me, I meet his thrusts.

Every.

Time.

“This is going to be fast. Sorry.” He informs me, while kissing his way up my back.

“S’okay.” I say on a guttural earth shattering moan.

Sex like this, the cream-your-panties-I-dream-about-this-sex, the shit you fantasize about in bed while pleasuring yourself, it just doesn’t happen.
Ever
. So when you have a man in your bed that fulfills all of your wildest indulgences, it doesn’t matter how long you’ve got, you’ll make it work.

Gage reaches my neck with his lips while reaching his hand around to the front of my sex, as soon as he starts flicking my sensitive nub I burst.

A-fucking-gain.

“Fuck. Clenching. Can’t stop it.” Gage moans out as his orgasm consumes him. I ride mine out with him, like I’m a professional surfer, and it’s the biggest wave I’ve ever ridden.

When he pulls out and heads to the bathroom to remove the condom, I collapse. Right on my stomach, ass held up in mid-air.

Energy depleted.

I’m done.

Middle of the day and I need sleep. Hello Raleigh, goodbye Raleigh.

“I think we should talk.” Gage says as he sits down next to my frozen body.

I can still feel myself pulsing,
my wetness seeping down between my legs.

“Can we talk when I recover and when I’m clothed?”

“Now is as good a time as any.”

What energy I do have left I use to roll over and
sit up.

“Speak.”

“Obviously you know that I’m up front about shit. There hasn’t been one time I’ve led you on about anything. Correct?”

“Yes…” I reply, curious as to where this is going.

“What would you say about being friends…with no strings attached sex?”

My mouth drops
open. This isn’t where I saw us going, not that I was thinking of a future for us. He’s been nothing but an asshole, and I didn’t foresee us jumping back into bed again let alone being something more than friends.

“Are you serious?”
I ask. There’s no fucking way he means this.

“Why not? We have great sex, you’ll be on tour with
us for two months at least. It’s convenient, and I can make a new friend.” He says dead serious.

“I’m not sure. This, you and I and sex, could already have repercussions for me with this tour. I’m not willing to risk my career, for you, for anyone, not even for great sex.”
Not even for me,
I say to myself.

“Listen, I’m not talking about a relationship here. Sex. No strings. You don’t owe me any explanations or disclosures, I don’t owe you any either. I won’t ask questions, you don’t ask questions. No double standards. We’ll set boundaries in place. No promising exclusivity. No expectations. Simple.”

Well, when you put it that way Gage.

“No. I’m sorry, I can’t. A
simple, quick hook-up whatever, okay. It might happen, I might stop it, I might not. But I am not sitting here planning out our friends with benefits plan. Not happening.”

Anger. That’s what he has me feeling,
I don’t know if I should feel insulted or belated that he considered being more than friends. Sadly, it doesn’t matter if I dissect the situation one hundred different ways under a magnifying glass, he’s never going to offer more. I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his husky voice, he doesn’t trust me. He won’t believe me, he’s been broken, and I’m not sure if he’s repairable.

I’m not sure if I want
to if I can fix him.