Save My Soul (10 page)

"How…" I took a breath. I didn't want
to know, but for some reason I had to know. "How did it
happen?"

He stepped closer to me, bent down and
held out his hand. I looked at it for only a moment before I took
it. After I got to my feet, he immediately let go. He took a few
deep breaths, and I knew that he was going to tell me. Maybe he was
going to tell me all along, and that was why he brought me out
here. Or maybe he thought that he wouldn't have to tell me because
he thought I wouldn't want to know. Who knew, but he'd clearly made
the decision to tell me.

"I was at baseball practice when it
happened. My mom and the baby had to stay in the hospital for
forty-eight hours before they could come home. Heather was staying
at home with me, so dad could stay at the hospital with them. She
was a good sister. She didn't raise hell or do drugs like some of
the other teenagers her age. She had a boyfriend, Kevin, who played
catch with me. I still run in to him from time to time." He paused
for a while, I guess so he would get the words right. It had
probably been awhile since he'd told anyone this story, if he ever
had.

"I had practice after school, and
Heather went to the Hospital to pick up Dad, Mom and Ben. My best
friend's mom was giving me a ride home so Heather wouldn't have to
come back and get me. Practice was over around four, and when I got
home, the front door was open. Jacob was spending the night so he
was with me, but it didn't make it any easier to see."

I covered my mouth with my hand as I
stared wide-eyed at him.

"They had walked in on a burglar." He
shook his head. "Who the hell robs a house at four in the
afternoon?" He was looking at me, but it was clear that he didn't
want me to answer. To my relief, he continued. I didn't have an
answer for him. "The guy shot my mom, dad and sister. I don't guess
he had the heart to shoot Ben because he didn't. I guess my mom was
trying to protect him from the burglar, I don't know. I didn't even
know that Ben was in the house because I was in shock. Jacob called
the police, and when they got there, I heard one of them shouting
that there was a baby under my mom."

"I came out of my daze and ran back in
the house to get my brother. He was blue and they were trying to
administer infant C.P.R., but I knew it was too late. He'd
smothered to death."

I touched his hand and he let me. "God
didn't do that, Adam."

"There is no God!" He shouted at me
and tried to pull his hand free, but I squeezed tighter. "What do
you want from me, huh? You want me to believe in Him again?" he
pointed to the sky. "I can't do that Kendra!"

"What do you have to lose by
believing? It's obvious you hate everything. There is a huge hole
in your heart waiting to be filled, and you won't let it happen.
You have a great job, a nice car, nice clothes, and I'm sure you
have a nice house too, but no matter how much you buy, you will
never be able to fill that hole."

He stared at me. He was considerably
calmer, but the heat in his eyes was starting to flare again.
"Love," he sighed. "Is that what you mean?"

I nodded. "You can love
again."

"So He can rip it away from me!" he
shouted, then turned his head so I couldn't see his face. I assumed
there were tears in his eyes, threatening to betray him. How could
I fix this?

"Do you honestly believe that?" I
asked.

He stepped closer to me. He was way
into my personal space. He looked me in the eyes, and it was like I
could see through his, to his soul. It staggered me a little,
because the feeling was so strange. I pulled myself together and
concentrated on what I was looking at. It was his soul. It was
battered, but it wasn't completely lost. I wondered if this was a
new gift Coen or Rhyan had given me when I was brought back. "Do
you honestly believe you'll die in six days?" he said, pulling me
out of my concentration.

I looked down. "You know I do, or I
wouldn't be trying so hard to get you to believe."

He laughed and I looked back up at
him. "Is that all it will take to save your life? Fine, I'll say
it." He raised his face up to the sky and shouted. "I believe!" He
looked back at me. "Is that good enough?" I knew it wouldn't be,
because I didn't believe it.

I heard the familiar loud pop. Rhyan
was sitting on a tombstone about twenty feet behind Adam. He was
shaking his head from side-to-side. Dammit.

Adam turned and looked at where my
attention was focused then turned back to me. "Will that do? Will
you live now?" He must not have been able to see Rhyan.

I didn't know how to explain to Adam
that my guardian angel was sitting behind him, so I didn't try. I
shook my head. "You didn't mean it, so no."

He pointed to his chest as he yelled
at me. "I'm not ever going to mean it, Kendra!"

I pursed my lips together. Anger
wouldn't help me any, but being nice wasn't getting the job done. I
truly felt bad that he'd lost his family, but I wasn't a shrink and
wasn't qualified for this job. "Well then," I blew out my breath in
frustration. "I guess I will die in five and a half
days."

He was calmer, but he still wasn't
stable. "Look, if you die on Friday, there's nothing I can do to
stop it unless operating will help."

My eyes pleaded with him. "Don't you
see, Adam? You're the only one who can keep it from happening." He
shook his head and sighed, then turned and walked back to his
car.

The silence was almost painful on the
way back to the hospital. Again, we missed any real traffic, and I
was thankful for that. I didn't want to be cooped up in this car
with him any longer than I had to be. He pulled into the garage and
parked in front of my Land Rover. I didn't ask how he knew which
vehicle was mine. I didn't care.

My hand went for the handle and he
spoke softly. "The thing you've got going on with Mason…It's a good
thing Kendra. He's a good guy. If you are right about all of this
dying stuff, I'll hate myself when it happens. I know it will hurt
him to lose you. He really likes you."

Of course he was worried about his
friend's feelings, but it was my life that was on the line, and he
didn't give two shits about that. "You're the only one who can
prevent that from happening to me."

He shook his head. "I'm going home. I
wasn't even supposed to work today, but there was a trauma case,
and they called me in. I saved the boy's life," He looked at me
then. "And I will save yours on Friday."

I got out of the car, and then looked
back at him through the open door. "Only if you're praying before
then." I shut the door and walked to my Land Rover. Adam drove off,
leaving me alone in the dark garage.

I screamed when I opened the door.
Adam had already left, so I wasn't afraid of catching anyone's
attention, not that it would have mattered. I was alone in the
garage, except for Rhyan, who was sitting in my passenger seat. I
guess locked doors couldn't keep out the holy. I just prayed they
could keep out the unholy.

"What are you doing here…and why
didn't you help me out with Adam earlier?" I said as I sat behind
the wheel, buckled up and started the engine.

"I'm here to talk now, and before…I'm
not allowed to interfere. I can only give you advice, not him." I
looked at him. He looked so sad.

"You look depressed, Rhyan. What can I
do to help?" I already felt like a rubber band that had been
stretched to its limit, but he'd been helping me, silently, for
years, and I felt I needed to return the favor.

He shook his head. "The damage is
already done. Either way, I'm going to lose you."

"Look, this thing isn't over. We
haven't lost yet, Rhyan." I said.

He shook his head again as he looked
back at me. "I have."

I gave him a questioning look, and he
explained in further detail. I would wish later that I hadn't
encouraged him to, but let's hear it for adding more problems to my
list.

"Either way this turns out, I have
lost you, Kendra. I was so excited when you died yesterday. I know
that sounds harsh, but that meant that I could actually be with
you." He looked away from me. "Coen stepped in and ruined it for
us."

I know I looked confused, because I
was, very much so. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm your guardian angel, not your
soulmate. I want to be your soulmate. I've always wanted to be.
Coen caused your accident before you met yours, so I had a chance
and that made me very happy. Then he made you an offer you couldn't
refuse. I don't blame you for wanting to live, but now I lose you
either way."

"Either way, what are you talking
about?" I understood that he was in love with me, just as I had
suspected after running into him that morning during my jog. I knew
that Friday I could lose my life and with it, my soul. But I didn't
get the rest of what he was saying.

"If you succeed, I will have still
lost you." He stared at me, and I could tell he was really
heartbroken. I hadn't done it intentionally. "You've met your
soulmate now, and even if you beat this…you will never be mine." he
said quietly.

So Mason was my soulmate. That was why
I was so attracted to him. I felt bad, because I was happy about
that, while Rhyan sat there looking like a sad puppy. He shook his
head in shame and grimaced, and I turned my head to the side and
looked at him quizzically. Could he read minds? He nodded after
that last thought.

"Shit! I've got to really watch what
I'm thinking when you're around."

"I can hear your thoughts even when
I'm not around you. Your thoughts run parallel to my own." He
paused for a moment, then he spoke again. "Mason isn't your
soulmate, Kendra. He never will be; don't try to force it. I told
you to break the date with him. He is only a distraction for
you."

I was shocked. Then who the hell was?
I had only met two guys since the accident. Mason and Ad…no.
No!

Rhyan nodded. "I don't like it anymore
than you do. If you succeed by Friday, then I have to watch the two
of you live happily ever after, forever."

"Adam cannot be my soulmate. There has
to be a misunderstanding somewhere." I had an idea. "There are
people all over the world who live their lives and never meet their
soulmate. I'll just choose to not be with mine. I may end up
divorced, or alone, but I won't have to live with that arrogant
asshole."

"Freewill is a powerful thing, and you
do have that choice, but you won't choose that path. I could only
be so lucky for you to not choose to be with him. I might have
another chance to be with you."

I didn't know what to say to that. I
was hoping it would be a long time before I died again, and maybe
when I did, I could be with Rhyan. I didn't see anything wrong with
that. His face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Stop, Rhyan. My
thoughts are very personal to me."

He turned his head away from me, but I
could see that he was still smiling. "I can't tune your thoughts
out, but I'll try and keep my expressions from being so
obvious."

I exhaled loudly, making it clear I
was annoyed. There wasn't really anything I could do about it. I
had to get back to solving my problem. "So, I have until Friday
sometime to help Adam. What do you suggest?"

He frowned again and shook his head.
"I was happy a minute ago. Not because I think that you will ever
be with me, but because you considered it. It's nice to know that
you would, if you could."

"Of course I would. What are you
talking about, now?" I said.

"I know it can never happen. The only
way to help Adam is to make him love you. It's impossible to truly
love someone without believing that there is a God who made that
person just for you. Now that you've seen the reason for him not
believing, do you think he would take it lightly if you didn't
return his feelings? If you make him love and make him believe,
then walked away, he would be worse off than he is now."

I nodded. I was trying to understand.
"So, how do you make someone love who doesn't know how to
love?"

He turned away from me again and
continued to look out the window. "You have already looked into his
soul, Kendra. Try looking into his heart."

Damn. I hated riddles.

Rhyan popped back to wherever it was
he popped to when he popped, and left me alone. I knew he could
still hear my thoughts, and I wasn't thrilled with that tidbit of
information.

The drive back to my house passed in a
blur. I was concentrating so hard on my thoughts, that I couldn't
remember the drive at all. That could have landed me back in the
hospital before my time was supposed to be up. I really needed to
start paying closer attention, especially when I could get someone
else killed.

I unlocked my door and picked up a
very hyper Hercules. He showered me with kisses until I set him
down to check the answering machine. I had missed four calls since
I'd left. I pushed the button to listen as I made my way to the
fridge for a late lunch. Leftover meatloaf and creamed potatoes
sounded good, so I took those containers out as the first message
began. It was Kobhye, and she was uber-worried about me, and wanted
me to call her back ASAP. I put a good-sized portion of meatloaf
and potatoes on a paper plate, put it in the microwave, set the
timer and licked the fork as the second message began. It was Aven
apologizing for hanging up on me this morning. He still wanted to
know what Mason had said about my check-up. Call him ASAP. I rolled
my eyes as I put the leftovers back in the fridge. The third was
from Mason. He was checking up on me and making sure Adam hadn't
murdered me and thrown me in a ditch somewhere. He didn't ask for
me to call him back ASAP, but he did say that he would see me
tonight. I didn't think he was actually worried that Adam had cut
me up and buried me in little pieces.