Saving a Legend: A Kavanagh Legends Novel (15 page)

Fiona nodded in agreement. That was definitely true.

“Plus, it’s about making it appealing to them. I told her Kieran ate it that way, and she was all about it after that. She’s bonded to my son quite a bit. Does she do that with everyone?”

“Not often, no. There are some people she meets, though, who she takes to inexplicably. I’ve only ever seen it a handful of times, and never since our mother died.”

“Until Kieran?”

“Yes.” Fiona bit her lip, thinking about that. Before, she hadn’t really considered how unusual that was, or why she’d kept trying to push Kieran away when clearly he was one of the few people to get through to Shea after everything they had gone through over the last three years.

“So you take care of her all by yourself?” Dee’s face showed clear concern.

“Pretty much, with some help. My friend Nora watches her while I’m at work.”

“What about in school? Does she have any help there, or therapists?”

“No, I’m working on that. She used to, but when my mother died, so did her health insurance. I’m trying to save up to have her go to a private school next year, which will provide all of those, but I’m nowhere near that yet.”

“That must be so frustrating for you,” Dee sympathized, reaching out a hand to squeeze Fiona’s arm. “Wanting to give her everything she had before.”

“It is, and I really want to. I just don’t have the money, and I’m trying to be a mother to her, or at least a guardian, but I know I’m making mistakes all over the place.” Fiona frowned at what she was saying. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m even telling you all this. I’m not complaining, really. I love having my sister with me and wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“You’re not complaining, darling, and don’t worry about me. I’ve raised five boys of our own, and we also adopted my husband’s niece when she was very young. I definitely know what it’s like to mother and love someone who isn’t biologically yours, and it’s no different than if they were. You will love your sister like a sister, but also like a daughter. God put her in your life to be your child just the way He brought Casey into ours to be our daughter. And God doesn’t make mistakes, honey. Everything I do is with His Will in mind, and there isn’t anything He puts on your plate that He thinks you can’t handle,” Dee explained as if it were a no-brainer. “You’re supposed to be worried—that’s how you know you’re a mother, because you’re terrified you’re doing everything wrong. We all worry about that, and it’s only because we want the best for our children. You want the best for Shea.”

That’s really all she wanted in the world right now. She wanted to make Shea’s life as happy as it had been before their mother died, and give her all the opportunities that she’d had before. She pushed back a swell of emotion and nodded her head, agreeing with the sweet woman in front of her.

“There you go. It’s that simple, and I have complete confidence in you,” Dee said.

“Why? You don’t even know me.” She hoped that didn’t sound as rude out loud as it sounded in her head. Fiona wondered if Dee was saying these things only to be polite. She couldn’t actually understand why anyone would look at her life, and the mess she’d made of it, and still have confidence in her.

She didn’t even have confidence in herself.

“I see the way you look at Shea, and there’s not just love in your eyes. There’s sacrifice. That tells me all I’d ever need to know, but to top it off,
mo mhac
likes you. Kieran’s never let me meet someone he’s dating before,” Dee told her, not seeming bothered at all by Fiona’s tactless question.

“Really? Never?” Fiona was surprised.

Kieran was one of the most attractive men she’d ever met, and he commanded every room he walked into. She couldn’t imagine he had a hard time catching women’s eyes. Which only made her wonder again why someone like him would pay her any attention, especially after she’d spent days trying to push him away and insisting that they weren’t dating. “I’m sure he’s had plenty of girlfriends, though. I mean, I can’t be all that special—we’re not really even dating. We went on a frozen-yogurt date with Shea, but really we just met.”

“He’s a man. I’m sure Kieran’s had other girlfriends, but I never met them. None of my sons would bring home a woman he wasn’t serious about—they know better than that. So I know he’s serious about you, and I couldn’t be happier. Kieran’s a lot different since he got back, different than who he was a few years ago.”

Fiona smiled warmly at the sweet words, and the thought that maybe she was different. Maybe he really did think she was special and he really did want to be with her. His abrupt end on their kiss last night had thrown her into a serious web of doubt, sure that the moment he’d seen how hard her life was and how much was on her plate, he hadn’t wanted any part of it. Listening to his mother now, and remembering his words as he’d had her pressed against the building earlier this morning, she was thinking she’d read last night completely wrong.

As she thought about it, though, she realized there was a part of Dee’s statement she hadn’t understood. “Got back from where?” Fiona asked.

Her question was interrupted by a banging sound from the front of the house as someone shut the front door. A deep voice could be heard rumbling through the hall, and Shea pulled her earmuffs on at the intrusion. Fiona frowned, wishing Shea wasn’t so sensitive to loud noises.

“Yeah, got it. I’m on my way. I’ll meet you there.” Kieran walked into the kitchen as Dee scooped more eggs onto Shea’s plate.

Fiona felt a shaky breath shudder through her as she watched him before he noticed her. He looked so serious, no fun and games, but the hard way his jaw set and the tense bulge of his muscles beneath his shirt were unbelievably appealing. She blushed slightly at the memory of running her hands over his chiseled chest.

“Fi, can I talk to you?” His eyes finally fell on her, causing her skin to heat under his dark blue gaze.

“Shea, honey, I’m just going to be right outside.” Fiona noted that Shea was already happily eating her eggs and not paying attention, but Dee waved her off, saying she’d watch her.

Walking out onto the back porch together, Kieran slid the glass door closed behind them and stepped to the side so they were not in view of the kitchen. “How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m fine.” She shrugged, looking away from him. She was definitely not fine. She wasn’t sure why she’d even said that.

“Fi.” He took her hand and pulled her closer to him. She looked up into his worried, scruffy face as she tried to focus on what he was saying and not the delicious citrus smell of his aftershave. “You’re not fine. You just woke up to your house caving in on you. Shea’s still sick. You can’t possibly be fine.”

“I know, but I have to be fine, don’t I?” Fiona boldly placed her hand on Kieran’s chest, as she was already so close to him.

She could feel his heart pounding under her hand, and he tensed at the contact. He considered her for a few moments but didn’t pull her closer. She found herself mentally willing him to grab her, to scoop her up and take her away from it all. To make love to her for days, in a world where no responsibilities or crises existed.

Kieran’s deep voice vibrated in his chest beneath her hand as he began to talk again. “I spoke to my brother Jimmy. He’s a police officer and was able to pull a few strings to access more information, but he said your building is definitely going to be condemned. We’re going to go over to get all your stuff now.”

“What?” Fiona’s hand fell to her side as she was catapulted back into her dismal reality. “Crap. Where are we going to live?”

“You and Shea will stay here. Ma’s got three open bedrooms, and she loves having people stay. The only people living here now are her and my dad, plus my cousin Casey. And Casey’s usually working at the gym or going to school, so she’s not here often,” Kieran explained, as if it was no big deal at all.

Fiona gasped. “I can’t stay here! Your parents don’t even know me. Why would they let me stay here? I can’t ask them to do that.”

“You didn’t ask. They offered.”

“They did?” Her shock subsided and she shook her head adamantly. “Kieran, I can’t. No way, they’ve already done so much for me just today. A place to stay? That’s absolutely too much. I cannot ask that of them.”

“You can, and you will. You need a place to stay, and Shea needs someone when you’re at work. My mom would be all over that. She loves kids; plus, she believes it’s her religious duty to help everyone, or something like that.”

“Live in their house and ask them to babysit? Are you kidding me right now?” Fiona was flabbergasted. “Kieran, this is not okay. You cannot ask them to do this for me.”

“To do what? Put a roof over your sister’s head?” Kieran tilted his head to the side and looked at her pointedly; the harsh truth gradually settled into her stomach. “If it was just you, Fi, you could be stubborn. But you’ve got Shea to think about, and homelessness is not an option with an eight-year-old.”

Fiona nibbled on the edge of her thumb. She knew he was right, of course.
Damn it.
It simply seemed like so much to ask of people she’d just met, to ask of someone Shea had just met. Actually, she hadn’t even met his father yet, only Dee.

However, Shea did need a bed tonight, and at the moment, Fiona had no way of providing one. Kieran was right; there wasn’t another option, at least not for tonight.

“You’re right. I know you’re right, but it’s so hard for me to let someone do this for me. I mean, I know I should be grateful and thanking you and your parents for the offer. In fact, I probably sound like a real bitch for even hesitating.”

“You have to stop calling yourself a bitch, Fi. You’re the farthest possible thing from it.” Kieran shook his head. “It’s hard to accept help from people, especially when you’re so used to doing it all on your own. I get that.”

“I know—it feels strange. I want to be able to do everything on my own.” She felt a lump forming in her throat as she stopped pacing and wrapped her arms around her waist, an attempt to hold herself together now that everything seemed to be falling apart. Kieran grabbed her, pulled her against his chest, and wrapped his arms around her.

“Everyone needs help now and again, flower girl. There’s nothing wrong with that.” She could feel him plant a gentle kiss on the top of her head, and it cracked the floodgates in her eyes. Tears began streaming down her face. “Let me help you,” he said quietly.

“I just…” She blinked in an attempt to clear her eyes. “I don’t understand why.”

“Why what?” he asked as he leaned down and kissed her cheeks lightly, feathering kisses down her jawline to her neck.

“Kieran, stop,” she whimpered, but her head tilted to the side to give him further access to her neck. “You’re distracting me.”

“Good, because you’re not making any sense. I thought we cleared this up earlier when I told you I want you, every part of you.” He moved to take her lips with his. She found herself moaning, and he took the opportunity to slide his tongue into her open mouth. Moving her hands up from his chest, she wrapped them around his neck and tangled her fingers through his hair.

“Kieran, please,” she whispered after a few hot, tangled moments. “I just don’t understand why you’d do this for me—we just met.”

“Flower girl, I couldn’t care less that we just met. You’re all I’ve thought about since Sunday when I walked into your store. I adore Shea, and I think you’re amazing.” He cupped her face in his hands, looking deeply into her eyes. Fiona sniffed as he wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

“But you could have literally any woman in the world—look at yourself.” She motioned to his hardened body. “Why would you want to help a homeless woman with a child and a failing business with a bank loan she can’t pay back? You’re so damn perfect and can do so much better than me and my complete mess. “

“I am not perfect, not even a little bit. I’ve fucked up my life more than most people ever could, and now I’m trying to find my way back. We’re all just trying to find our way back, Fi. That’s what life is, trying to figure out what you messed up yesterday, then fixing it so you can get to tomorrow. I want my tomorrow to include you.” His hand moved from cupping her face to run his thumb gently over her lips. “I think I may want all my tomorrows to include you.”

“But why?” she pleaded, wanting to understand. She’d never felt this way before, so cherished and attended to. She felt protected and cared for in a way she hadn’t known was possible, a way she hadn’t even known to wish for.

“Because you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, inside and out, flower girl. Everything you do is for other people, and you love so deeply, it’s intoxicating. I see it when you’re looking at Shea. The moment my eyes fell on you, I knew you were special, and everything I’ve seen since that first day has only confirmed it. I can’t explain it more than that, Fi. There’s just something that draws me to you, and I don’t want to fight it.”

She looked at him intently, trying to detect a hint of sarcasm or insincerity, but she could find none. He meant what he was saying: he really did think she was beautiful. He really was drawn to her. This perfectly sweet and giving man truly wanted her; it was so pure and real that it shook her to her core.

“There’s still so much we don’t know about each other. What if there’s more to me that you won’t like?” she whispered, thinking of her past and wondering how anyone could find out about it and still want to be with her.

“There’s nothing you could’ve done that’s worse than some things I’ve done, I’m sure. And even so, it doesn’t matter to me, Fi. I don’t need to know your entire past to know your heart. The woman I’ve gotten to know so far is beautiful. She’s who I want, and nothing is going to change that,” he promised her while tucking a few stray tendrils of hair behind her ear.

As she stared into his deep blue eyes and considered the sincerity of his words, she made a decision. She was going to let herself feel this. For the first time in possibly forever, she trusted that this man before her was telling the truth. He wanted to care for her and help her. He wanted the best for her, and his motivations were true. Even more so, she wanted to let him.