Saving Rain: The First Novel in The Rain Trilogy (18 page)

Walking into the kitchen, she quickly scans the room for something to jar the French doors behind her. She hates heights, but it looks like the only way out of this is to go down the fire escape off of Chase’s balcony. She turns the water on so they think that she is actually doing what she said before grabbing the broom from the pantry and slipping out of the doors, ramming the broom between the two handles.

Before she can change her mind, she reaches up and grabs the ladder, not daring to look down as she swings her legs over the side of his balcony. The wind seems to be on their side as it whips her hair into her face, making it hard to navigate the narrow fire escape, like it’s trying to convince her to go back inside. The metal is cold and damp from the early evening shower she had ducked into a coffee shop to avoid earlier. The dimming sunlight hinders a quick descent. Despite the cold and the wind, she can’t help but take a second to admire the pink and orange streaks glowing like fresh paint across a masterpiece in the late evening sky.

The shaking of the French doors above her tears her from the beautiful sunset, and she climbs down the next ladder before jumping onto the next landing, causing a loud thud against the metal floor. She knows that there’s no way she will beat them to the ground, and she doesn’t feel like another confrontation any time soon, so she scans the balconies for any open curtains. It takes two more levels down before she spots what she needs. Throwing her legs over the balcony, she wishes she wasn’t wearing her skinny jeans and wishes she knew that today’s wardrobe choice should’ve involved something good for running marathons and scaling balconies.

Like a final scolding, the wind thrusts it’s cold breeze against her, causing her to be momentarily blinded by her wild hair, and she hits the balcony floor square on her butt. She stands up and rubs her sore rear end, brushing off the backside of her jeans. Catching herself in the reflection, she frantically smoothes her wind whipped hair to a somewhat presentable state before knocking on the glass of the French doors. A few seconds later, she sees the surprised look from the apartment owner as he comes to her rescue. She musters up a friendly smile as a nice looking, twenty-something man with perfectly-gelled blond hair opens the doors for her.

“Hi, I’m Raina, and I seem to be having a bit of a, um, a lock issue, and was wondering if you would mind if I used your door to go to the lobby?” she asks as innocently as possible, pointing upwards from where she came.

The man seems a little too happy to help and smiles, offering her his hand while helping through the door. “Can I help you with anything, I’m pretty good with my hands?” he tells her, while one of his said hands is still holding onto hers, even though she is securely off of the balcony and in his kitchen.

“That’s so sweet of you, I think I can manage from here, but thank you.” She politely pulls her hand from his, not wanting to explore what he meant by being good with his hands.

“It’s really cooled down this evening, you are welcome to stay for a while to warm up if you like,” he offers before chuckling. “It’s not every day that a beautiful damsel in distress lands on my balcony,” he replies coyly, his voice as smooth as hot butter on pancakes and his eyes promising things that she’s not interested in, at least not with him.

“I really must be going, I’m in a bit of a hurry, but thank you, again,” she manages, starting to feel uneasy and embarrassed with his eyes roaming over her unashamedly like she is some kind of candy he wants to devour.

“Are you sure I can’t offer you something to drink before you go?” he tries again, this time taking her elbow softly in his hand and leading her towards the table.

Inwardly, she groans as he flashes his perfectly white smile at her again, his gaze slipping appreciatively lower to the opening at the top of her blouse. She wonders how many women he has successively seduced with his playboy looks and abundant charm. She rolls her eyes
,
Of
course
I
would
have
to
choose
Don
Juan’s
balcony.
Will
this
night
ever
end!

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Chase pushes the elevator button and taps his foot impatiently, “Well, this isn’t one of the scenarios that I had planned.”

“No kidding!” Kas responds, not even attempting to hide the sarcasm.

They briskly walk through the lobby and head outside to the fire escape. Kas pulls the bottom ladder down and climbs up to the first landing, scanning upwards, not seeing Raina anywhere. “She couldn’t have made it down the fire escape that quickly.”

Kas and Chase exchange exasperated glances.

“That girl’s too smart for her own good,” Kas growls as they race back towards the lobby. They look on all twenty floors but can’t find a trace of her.

Chase looks at Kas apologetically, “I’m sorry, bro, I thought it would work.”

Kas lays his hand on Chase’s shoulder, “I know you did, I appreciate you trying.”

Kas looks at his watch, 7:45. Glancing outside, he sees how dark it is. He knows that Raina only has whatever cash she has in her pocket and her cell phone on her. He has no idea of where she will go with classes over, and he worries about her being all alone in the dark. He tries to call her, but she’s still not answering. Kas runs his hands roughly over his face, “I’m going to drive around and look for her.”

Chase glances at him, knowing that he realizes that the chances of finding her that way are slim to none, but he understands that Kas will go crazy doing nothing until she goes home. “I’ll go with you.”

When Raina’s feet are too tired for her to walk any longer, she hails a cab and climbs into the back.

“Where to, miss?”

She looks at the cab driver’s reflection in the rearview mirror, his brown eyes waiting for her response, a response that she isn’t quite sure of anymore. “Please take me to Haines Point.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

She watches the city night life go by as they drive towards the Potomac River. When the cab stops, Raina pays the driver and counts the last bit of cash she has left on her.
Just
enough
to
get
home,
she thinks to herself as she sinks down on the soft grass, leaning against the cherry tree Kas stood under when he brought her there. It seems like a lifetime ago and just like yesterday at the same time. Resting her head against the trunk of the tree, she gazes up through the branches at the bright stars.

Closing her eyes, flashes of her time with Kas play through her mind. She has never been happier than when she is with him. If she is completely honest with herself, she is so much happier with him than she thought she ever could be with anyone. She wishes she has the courage to just let the tears come, to allow herself to open up and finally let all the fears and sorrows of her past wash away with them. She throws her head in her hands and drops them on her knees, knowing the cleansing tears won’t come, not until she can let the past go, not until she can let her father go.

Raina sits alone in the cool night air, letting the breeze blow around her, wishing it could blow away her humiliation and shame of Kas seeing the pictures of what her father did to her, his seeing a glimpse into her life before she met him. She desperately wanted to leave that part of her life behind, keep her past from tainting what she had hoped she and Kas would become. Biting her lip, she thinks of how Kas is so different than her father and Chris, how he has done nothing but try to protect her.

Guilt slips into her heart at how she unleashed and directed her anger at him when he confessed that he searched her old life. She knows that he wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t feel he had a good reason for it. She was just so hurt and angry and utterly humiliated by Kas finding out some of her dirty secrets.

She gazes back up at the stars and marvels at how they look so peaceful, twinkling in the night sky like there isn’t a care in the world. Being in Kas’ arms makes her feel that way. The only time she feels like she has ever truly belonged in this world is when she is in his arms. Banging her head against the trunk of the tree, she chastises herself for being so stupid and running away from the best thing she ever had, even if she isn’t exactly sure what they are to each other. She stands up, dusts herself off, and walks to where she can hail another cab. She gives the driver instructions to take her home.

Raina unlocks the door a little after 10:00 p.m. and sees Kas standing there, waiting on her.

“Hey,” Kas greets her softly as she slips through the door. He looks tired and worried, and another flash of guilt runs through her.

“Hey,” she manages sheepishly.

“Look, Rain, I’m sorry about earlier tonight, I should’ve gone about it differently,” Kas readily admits, his voice full of resignation.

He holds his hands out to her, and she places her hands in his before leaning into his warm, welcoming arms as he engulfs her in a hug. The cold from outside starts to evaporate as she snuggles closer into him. The feel of his muscles against her quickly diminishes any residual chill as she feels the heat seep into her cold body and into that forbidden area.

She thinks of how she should still be furious with him at trying to force information out of her, even if he did it because he thinks it’s best. But she can’t stay mad at him when he looks at her with such sincerity and holds her so close, making her body treacherous and desperately wanting to feel him skin to skin, with her hands slowly exploring every inch of his strong, muscular body. She pulls away slightly, needing to put some distance between them before she gives in to temptation and lets her current vulnerable state overrule her mind.

“Please talk to me, Rain. I can’t stand not knowing what happened to you, not knowing how to help you. If I don’t know what happened, I don’t know how to convince you that I will never make the same mistakes. I just wish you would trust me enough to talk to me, Rain,” Kas pleads, his voice raw and full of emotion.

She snaps her head up to look at him. “You think that I am afraid you will hurt me like them?” she asks, her heart constricting with guilt. She would never want Kas to think that she thought he was the type of man to hurt her like that, or that she doesn’t trust him. He has been so good to her, and guilt swarms her as she looks away, ashamed and angry that she caused him to feel this way.

Kas cups her face in his large hands so gently and caresses her cheeks with his thumbs. “My heart shatters, and I want to break Chris and your father in half every time I see you flinch when I make a sudden movement around you or reach for you when I’m angry. I would never hurt you, Raina, no matter how angry I get, I will never hurt you.”

She is overcome with shame and fury for being so weak by being afraid to be around a man when he’s angry. “I never meant to make you feel that way,” she stammers. “I know you will never hurt me, my body just reacts, and I hate it,” she admits, self-addressed anger seething in her. “I hate being that weak, being so afraid, like some mousy little girl who cringes every time a man’s tone gets loud. I do trust you, Kas, it’s just that memories overcame me last night when I smelled the alcohol on your breath and saw you with the belt in your hand. I want to scream every time I flinch, I don’t want to ever be weak again!” she finishes her tirade, embarrassment and shame immediately washing over her in tidal waves at her rash admission.

Kas takes a hold of her shoulders in a strong grip. “Look at me,” he commands.

Raina keeps her gaze fixed on the floor, trying desperately to rein in her wayward emotions and to grasp some semblance of self-control again.

“Look at me!” he commands more forcefully.

Relunctantly, she obeys.

“I don’t want to ever hear you say that you are weak again, do you understand me? You are the strongest person I have ever met, and you have been conditioned to have to protect yourself around men when they are angry. Flinching away is self-preservation, and that is their fault not yours!” he admonishes. “You scare me at how you try to prove that you aren’t afraid by doing stupid things like going after Mr. Sutton last night. Don’t you ever do anything like that again!” he scolds her before pulling her into his arms, into his protective embrace. “I have fallen in love with you, Raina Kapture, and I don’t want to lose you.”

Raina’s heart feels like it’s in the middle of a marching band, and her knees go weak when she hears Kas tell her that he loves her and how he uses her current name when telling her instead of the one she realizes he now knows. Emotions swirl through her, and she feels dizzy by the sheer power of them. Raina knows that she loves Kas, so much that it frightens her. She has been so afraid to admit it to him, but his words give her the courage, and before she can change her mind, she looks deep into his dark chocolate eyes, full of so much love that she almost chokes on her words, “I am in love with you, too, Kas.”

Kas closes the distance between his lips and hers, covering her mouth in a heated, hungry kiss. Raina kisses him back feverishly, her lips quivering from urgency and need. His mouth is so hot and sweet against hers, she leans into him, no longer able to hold herself up. His tongue explores her lips, teasing and beckoning hers to allow him access. She opens up to him, and her head spins at how his tongue finds hers, conquering it with his mind-blowing talent of making her feel like she has left her body and is floating in a haze of pure, unadulterated hedonism.

Just when she feels like she would do anything that he asks, he breaks the connection and leaves her free falling from the after effects of his kiss. Her senses slowly begin to return as he runs his finger down her cheek. Her body feels weak and needy and so vulnerable from the day’s events. She can’t believe how easily she let herself be consumed by his kiss and how her emotions are spinning so unbelievably out of control right now. It scares her all the way to her bones at how every fiber of her feels, pushing her set boundaries, when Kas holds her. She practically melted when he kissed her.

“I’ve been waiting to do that since the moment I met you,” Kas admits, his voice husky and so sexy as he looks at her, finding it hard to breathe from their reeling kiss and the emotions behind it.

Suddenly, she feels so shy and her cheeks flush. She concentrates on her fingers, not knowing what to do or say.

“I hope that I didn’t push you into the kiss,” Kas tells her as he gently tilts her chin with his finger so she is forced to look at him again.

“You didn’t push me into anything, I’ve wanted to do that for a long time, too.” Her cheeks fire up again at her brazen admission of truth.

Kas leans down, brushing a soft, sweet kiss across her lips before pulling her back into his arms. He kisses the top of her head, trying to slow the blood rushing through his veins and to calm the tightness in his jeans at the chemistry flying between them right now. He wants nothing more than to explore her lips again, to taste as much of her as she is willing to give, but he knows that now is not the time. He bites back a groan before pulling away from her sweet, intoxicating body and kisses the top of her head again.

“Raina, it’s time you tell me about your father,” he whispers into her hair.

She lets out a small sigh of resignation, knowing that he’s right, that it is time that she showed him that she trusts him enough to know about her past, at least some of it.

He grabs her hand and holds it behind his back as he leads her to the couch. Pulling her feet up underneath her legs, she starts fidgeting with her fingers again. He softly prompts her by nudging her with his knee and placing his hand on hers.

Her mind drifts back to a time that she would rather forget before she begins, “My father wasn’t always like that, he was so loving and caring with my mom. I remember how they used to look at each other. Even at such a young age, I knew they had something special.” She smiles wistfully at the memory, and Kas runs his thumb softly across her cheek. “Everything changed when my mom died. He started to drink, and he was always so angry.”

“When did he start hurting you?” Kas asks quietly, gently brushing her hair away from her face so she can’t hide behind it. He wishes he could take away all of her pain, erase everything that has happened to her that has made her so sad.

“He took all of the pictures of my mom down and put them away somewhere, but I had one of her that I hid underneath my pillow. A few nights after mom died, he walked into my room and saw me holding it, and he just lost it.” She struggles to repress a shudder at the memory.

“What did he do?”