Saving The Cowboy (BWWM Pregnancy Romance) (4 page)

Chapter Eight - Parker

He wanted her.

He’d thought about little else in the two months she had been there.

In his mind, they had been on the longest date of his life and he wanted to hold her in his arms. She had to go back for round three of invitro soon, she would be on bed rest again, something he liked far more than she did.

To be honest, she was driving him crazy. Whenever he was at home all he itched to do was kiss her and wrap his arms around her. If he crossed that line again, or worse, it went further than it had before, it would complicate the situation in a way he couldn’t take a chance on. He didn’t have time to fall for her, or have her in his life permanently. He had to stay focused on the task at hand. He had decided not to make a problem where there wasn’t one and he started putting some distance between them. He found one project after another that needed his attention. He rarely came home for dinner now, he was overwhelmed by work. He rested his arms on the fence he had just repaired and looked out over the fields. This ranch was his father’s pride and joy, he had worked it until he bled. Even as a boy this place was the foundation for every story his father told him.

Maybe he felt the way he did because she was in this with him. She had his back and often tried to make him feel less alone. She, in some ways, was saving this ranch for him. Without her, there would be no baby to be had. It was that gratitude, perhaps, that made him want to touch her, and hold her so badly. What else could it be? He hadn’t been with a woman in a long time too, that surely played a part in it. Maybe it was one of those situations that needed to happen so they could both move on. He knew she felt it too, every time they were in a room together the air was charged and full of electricity. He made his way towards the house, he needed to be home tonight. It was going to rain and he needed to give his space in the outbuilding to someone else.  With a deep breath, he opened the door and headed down the hallway.

He came around the corner and saw her there. She was in all white the light from the fading sun streaming through it and leaving very little to the imagination. Apparently, she didn’t want things to be like this anymore so she had waited up for him and she stood there. The air was electric as they looked at each other. Becca walked into the hall to tell them dinner was ready, breaking the silent tension and they both went inside. Something had to be done and soon. She sat near the door, almost guarding it somehow, to keep him from ignoring her. Dinner was strained, both of them having too much to say, but neither of them strong enough to start. Finally, when they were finished, she broached the subject, neither had been willing to talk about.

“Parker, why have you been avoiding me?” She saw him raise his head at her question.

“It’s not that I’m avoiding you. Things on the ranch have been busy, that’s all,” he said and gave her a once over before he moved towards the hall.

Chapter Nine - Jasmine

She was angry, she hated being dismissed more than anything else and she had been practically alone for days, she wasn’t going to let this go on like it was. She followed him into his study and shut the door with a bang. She watched him lean against the desk as if he were in pain and she continued on.

              “If you have changed your mind, or I did something wrong then I need you to tell me. I can take it, I’ve been through worse than a headache before. Just stop shutting me out all of the time. Every time I am around you seem to disappear, it doesn’t makes sense. I thought we were getting along fine, getting to know each other. Even now you won’t look at me, you won’t face me. Just tell me what’s wrong!”

She felt the tears well up, despite her efforts to stop them.

“Do you really have to ask Jasmine?” He stood and turned towards her before he headed for the door.

“Stop running and talk to me. Do you know what it’s like being in this house all day everyday with no one to talk to? I wait for you… did you know that? I wait for you hoping you’re going to come, at least to dinner so I can have some companionship and you never show.”

She was exhausted and her chest heaving she waited for him to respond.

“So don’t wait, Jasmine. Don’t wait any longer.” He drew her to him in one swoop.

              He pushed her against the closed door, leaning his body into hers.

She felt his heart beating under her hands as she pressed them against his chest. He kissed her wildly, barely allowing her to breathe as he trailed kisses down her neck and nibbled the area under her right ear. She whispered, his name, at least she thought so as he swept her up into his arms.

He carried her to his room, kicking the door shut behind him. He carefully placed her on the bed and started his slow decent on her aching body. Her breath was coming in little gasps now as he unbuttoned the front of her shirt, kissing after each one. She looked up at him and he paused only for a moment.

Instead of words she reached up for him pulling his mouth back to her and it was the only answer he needed. He undressed her quickly and stood back looking at her naked form.

              “You’re so beautiful, Jasmine.” He traced his finger down over each breast watching as each nipple hardened to attention with his every move.

He followed with his mouth kissing and loving every inch of her along the way. She loved his hands the firmness of them on her skin. She reveled in the way he moved and in turn, how she moved with him. They fit together like missing halves of each other. He moved with her and felt her tremble beneath him. He had made love to many women, but it had never been like this. Both wanting to please the other their only focus was feeling the way they moved and loved.

              Nothing had prepared her for this. She had wanted to talk… to make things better, but this was much more than that. He slowed down, tasting and loving every part of her and she arched her back meeting his mouth. She looked up at him and he stopped, only long enough to gently move her hair back from her head and lower his mouth to hers, crushing her with a kiss. Every movement was frantic, as if they only had this moment.

Her breath came in gasps and the liquid heat coursed through her. She felt him explore her more with his hands and her eyes flickered up at him as he moved lower, and lower still until he pushed first one finger into her and then two. Her legs opened for him and her hips arched against his hands, he moved against her, feeling her and watched her face as she climbed higher and higher until finally she felt the glorious climax shudder through her body. Even then he still moved against her rubbing, and grinding into her. Her legs were like jelly and she missed his assault on her as he moved his hand away.

“If you want me to stop tell me now. I want you and if you don’t tell me soon I won’t be able to stop,” he said.

“I don’t want you to stop.” Before she even finished, he pushed his hands into her hair and loved her mouth with his.

He pushed into her slowly, savoring the feel of her, the heat. It was as if nothing else existed for her as she felt him move within her. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him even deeper, as she dug her fingers into his back. He loved her recklessly and she gave over with abandon.

It started slowly and gradually grew faster, more erratic. She felt as though she was stretched to capacity, but she met him thrust for thrust. She looked up at him once and in that moment they were perfectly joined. He moved his hands under her and leaned back on his legs as he lifted her up and reached even deeper inside her. She felt his body tremble as he grew closer, the thought excited her and as he leaned down to tug at her nipple with his mouth she felt herself slipping. She moaned his name as she tightened around him and watching her orgasm was his undoing. With one finally push deep inside, he filled her. The shock went through her like a wave. Even then he stayed his place, buried deep. It was too good, to feel herself full of his length. She made no move to change positions but lay there with him.

They lay together after, silently thinking of what to say to each other. She was spooned into him lying on her side and she felt him drawing lazy circles on her hips. She could feel his breath on her hair as she lay there. She knew there was only a few moments of this left before reality came back to the surface. She knew this would complicate things, complicate them. She rolled over on her side and he pulled her back to him.

              “Not yet Jasmine, not yet.” She relaxed and nestled into him once more allowing sleep to take over, and give way to her dreams.

***

              Fortunately, she didn’t have to face the reality of what had happened first thing. She opened her eyes and sat up, pulling the sheet with her. She was still in his room, but he had gone for the day. She laid her head back on the pillow and breathed in the scent of him. Whatever they had tried to avoid was done now, and there was no turning back. It was all so complicated now. She stood and found her clothes strewn about the room. She slipped them on and made her way into the hall so that she could slip back into her room. It was still early and she could go back to sleep for a little while.

Chapter Ten - Parker

              She was under his skin there was no doubt about it.

Last night had been a huge mistake and there was no way they could come back from it. She made him crazy and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He couldn’t lose this ranch, that was for sure. They would have to either avoid each other or he would have to find a different surrogate.

He swore as he beat the dust off of his hat. Thinking about her leaving was too much, it was too hard. She was as much a part of this as anyone else. They had spent hours talking about the ranch and life there. She knew how important it was for him to keep it. If they couldn’t stop this thing between them, she would understand if this wouldn’t work. There was more about it to consider. He cared about her. It was that factor that made him think more about finding a new way out of this situation.

He remembered how she had looked that morning when he left. She had been wrapped up in front of him and he had slept like a baby, when he pulled away from her to leave it had been the hardest thing he had ever done. He wanted to wake her up gently, slowly and make love to her in the early morning hours of dawn.

He sat on the chair beside the bed watching her for a moment. She slept with a sleepy smile on her face and her body was perfectly shaped. For a moment he thought about how she would look pregnant and he swelled up with a sense of purpose. She would be even more beautiful then, creating and carrying life.

Even now, thinking about how she felt beneath him, he felt himself harden. He wanted even more of her than before. He had hoped by crossing this line that he would be able to put her behind him and see her as the surrogate and nothing more. Sadly, that wasn’t the case. He would have to tell her this wasn’t working, He would have to let her go.

Chapter Eleven - Jasmine

              There was no denying things were different. She felt her heart race when she heard the front door slam closed. Today had been the longest day of her life. She needed to see him, talk to him. They needed to make sense of it all. She waited for him in the dining room and stood when he entered. He brushed past her and sunk down in his chair, not looking up at her. She could tell he was in a mood, but her heart was breaking slightly at his indifference. How could he be so cold to her after the night they shared? She tried to talk to him a few times, but his responses were short and clipped. Eventually she gave up and left the room. She felt the tears well up as she headed to her room. She was a fool. She had given herself to him last night and now he treated her with indifference as if nothing had happened at all. She went out the back door and out onto the lawn. The sun was just setting and she needed the fresh air. She felt him behind her long before he said anything.

              “Jasmine, we need to talk.” She turned around quickly and put her hands on her hips.

“Oh really Parker, now you want to talk to me? I tried to talk to you for over an hour and you treated me like I didn’t exist. Now you follow me all the way out here to tell me you’re ready to talk to me NOW! You think the world revolves around you Parker but it’s not just you anymore.”

She stood there her breath coming in short bursts.

“I’m sorry Jasmine, really. Last night… well the thing is I don’t know what to do anymore.” He wrung his hands and walked over to a bench in the yard. She followed him. And he continued. “I feel things about you Jasmine, I do… the problem is I can’t.”

“I watched my father fall apart after my mother died and I swore I would never love anyone like that. Ever. I don’t intend to start that now. I care about you and the truth of it is I want you. Even now standing here looking at you full of fire. I want to pull you in my arms again and take you in my room and make love to you for hours.”

She took a deep breath. Even hearing the words did something to her and she knew this was getting out of control. “Parker I didn’t ask for this… me and you. If I recall you kissed me, you pulled me into your room. I am not asking you to love me, I don't even believe in it.” He glanced up at her then and frowned.

“Maybe this won’t work for us Jasmine. I just don’t know.” He sounded sad and his heart was heavy with each word he spoke.

Jasmine took a step back as if she had been hit. Without a word she turned and stomped back into the house. She shut the door of her room in a rush and started pulling her things into her bags. If he wanted her to go she would go. She let the tears run unchecked down her face. She had come here to help him, to do something to help all of them really, and now she wasn’t going to work out for him because he “felt” something? Would he want the money back now? Most of it, she had sent to her family and what was left would get her back home at least. Maybe then she could start over and put this whole mess behind her. She knew there was much more than just business on her end too, she had developed feelings for him quickly, and she just didn’t know what they were. She called the cab before she could change her mind and carried her bags out front alone. Miss Becca had the night off and fortunately saved Jasmine from having to face her. She gave one last look at the house before she got into the cab and left. She headed to town. There was a flight leaving in the morning and she intended to be on it.

She spent the night crying like she had long ago when her mother had died. There was a sense of loss now that swallowed her up. She had to admit to herself that she was in love with Parker. It would be so much easier to pretend that she didn’t, but it was too late now. She showered and made her way to the airport. Some small part of her had hoped that he would show up and stop her, like they always did in the romance novels, but he hadn’t. She waited for her flight to board and as she watched Texas fade into the distance she decided to focus on home, and starting over again.

The flight went quickly and she started to try and build herself up for seeing her father and sister. They were both excited to see her and she needed to put on a good face. If they knew she was sad her father would worry and she didn’t want that. She got off the plane and her sister ran to her embracing her in a hug. Her sister was very much like her father. Her skin was a darker shade and she was embracing her “sisterhood” as she would often say and had left her hair in its natural state. The fact of the matter was she was beautiful and had often been approached to do modeling, but she had turned it all down to focus on school.

“I am sooo glad you’re here Jaz, I have so much to tell you about there is a boy at school and he is so cute but I ignore him which makes him so crazy.” Jasmine smiled at her, to listen to her sister and her drama at school was exactly what she needed.

              Jasmine noticed her father’s stare and avoided the questioning glance he gave her. They made their way to the car and Jasmine smiled. This car had been around since her sister Rika was born. She threw her bags in the trunk and finally they were on their way. She watched as her father carefully maneuvered his way through town and down the street where she had grown up. She put her things in the room, she shared with her sister and went downstairs to talk to her father.

“I was wondering if you were going to come down here and talk about it or if I was going to have to come up there and ask.”She saw him massaging his injured leg under the table.

“Things just didn’t work out Daddy, that’s all.” She picked at the blanket draped on the back of the couch.

“Oh no Jasmine go on and get it out you will feel better.” He walked carefully into the living room and settled into his chair waiting for her to share.

It only took a moment before she took a deep breath and proceeded to tell him everything. She had watched his face change over the course of her story. From disbelief to anger to sadness. She had failed to share with him the intimate parts, but she had shared her feelings and that she was in love with him. Finally, when he did speak, he took her hand in his.

“Jasmine I loved your mother with every single part of my being. She was the light in my life until you girls came along, that is. She was the best thing before you and I would never want to be without her. Sadly, life happens and when it does you can’t always control the outcome. All I can tell you is that even knowing how things would end up I would do it all again because loving someone is the greatest thing in the world.”

She took his words to heart and hugged him before going to bed. Her sister had class tomorrow and she would take the day to figure out her next move. From then on she would get something right and finally put Parker Jackson out of her mind.

The days turned into weeks and Jasmine was sicker than she had ever been in her life. She had been home exactly three weeks when the flu had hit her hard. The issue was, it seemed to flare up in the mornings more than any other and she was having a hard time eating anything. She moved through her days slowly, one step at a time. She finally had found a job at a diner on the east end of town, close to home and she was right back where she had started before Parker. Even thinking about him hurt. She glanced down at her hand at the band she still wore. Some part of her liked it, liked knowing they were still married. He had tried to call her a few times, but she had ignored him. She couldn’t afford to be distracted by emotion. After her shift Jasmine decided to go to the doctor.

Working third shift had its perks. She was able to leave there and swing by the hospital on her way home. She didn’t have insurance anymore, surely Parker had cancelled that by now. She was laying in the bed waiting for the doctor when her phone rang. It was him. She knew she would have to face him eventually, if for any other reason than to sign the divorce papers. Suddenly the doctor came in with a smile.

“Miss Turner it appears you are not sick at all, in fact you're fine. You are pregnant.”

The world fell from under her as he spoke the words. She listened as he told her all about prenatal vitamins and finding a doctor locally. There was a numbing haze surrounding her as she took it all in. Her phone rang again after he left and she knew she would answer this time.

“Parker.” She whispered into the phone.

“Jasmine, oh my god I have been trying to find you for weeks, we need to talk I am going crazy.”

“Parker I’m pregnant. I am at the hospital now. I know things were messy, but I’m scared.”

“Where are you Jasmine?” she told him her address.

She heard him hang up and she took a deep breath.