Savior (An Impossible Novel) (27 page)

He grinned, and his fist tangled in my hair.  He pulled me up sharply, and I cried out as some of the platinum strands parted company with my scalp.  “I think we’ll need a demonstration before we can agree to that,” he said menacingly.

Fear spiked through me when he pulled out a knife, but he reached behind me and cut the cable tie that secured my wrists together.  I hissed in pain as the plastic was pulled out of my torn skin.

“I want to see what you have to offer. 
Strip.”

My hands were shaking madly, but I forced myself to comply, tearing at my clothes in order to get it over with as quickly as possible.

“No,” Ramirez barked out.  “Slow.  Sexy.  Make me believe you want our cocks.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to mentally take myself out of the room and immerse myself in a memory in order to get through this.  My first thought was of Clayton, of the hungry look in his eyes when he stared at my naked body.

But that thought almost made me break down.  I was betraying him by offering myself to these men.  And if they decided to send him the recording of my shameful behavior…

No.  I couldn’t think about that now, or I would collapse to the floor and my anguish would claim me.

Instead, I drew on my years of experience of flirting, of luring men in like the Siren that Penny had named me to be.  But I longed to be a lioness in that moment.  Still, I was able to fall back into my practiced movements, swaying my hips as I slowly peeled off my clothes.

My skin was freezing, and it wasn’t from the cool air that hit my exposed body.  I cried out in shock and my eyes flew open as Jorje’s hands closed around my arms.  The cable tie that he used to secure me this time was tightened even more cruelly than the first.

“What are you doing?”  I asked, hating the way my voice quavered.

Ramirez pointed at the red lines on his cheek.  “I’m not stupid.  Your claws are staying sheathed.”

Jorje’s hands wrapped around my front, and I shuddered as he gripped my breasts.  “Her tits are small, but they feel nice,” he remarked, as though he was appraising cattle for purchase.

I agreed to this.  This is consensual, this is consensual,
I told myself over and over again.  But if that was true, then why did I feel so dirty?

I had a moment to register Ramirez’s merciless expression before he brutally drove two fingers inside of me.  I screamed at the violation and the pain.  My sex was bone dry and tight from my lack of arousal.

But it wasn’t enough for Ramirez.  “You really are a slut, aren’t you?”  He asked.  “I hope your ass is tighter than your cunt.”

Slut.

A defeated sob was torn from me as I realized I wasn’t at all in control here.  They were going to hurt me.  But I had to pull it together, I had to try.  Greg’s life depended on me getting through this.

Chapter 18

Ramirez pulled his fingers out of me, but I didn’t have a moment to experience any relief.  Jorje’s hands were on my shoulders, shoving me down so that I fell hard on my knees.  He grabbed a fistful of hair at the nape of my neck and pulled my head back sharply.

“I want to see how good she sucks cock,” he said to his friend.  My stomach churned as Ramirez unzipped his pants and pulled his erection free.

Absorb the pain,
I ordered myself desperately. 
Embrace it.  You can get through this.  Clayton showed you how.

But my joy from the pain
he had given me had come from my ecstatic, willing submission to him.

You are willing.  You are.  You agreed to this.

Ramirez gripped my jaw, his fingers pressing against it viciously so that my mouth was forced open.

“Impress me,” he growled.

I tried to brace myself, but my mind rebelled.  This was so profoundly wrong.  I had told myself I was doing this for my own survival, but I knew I wouldn’t make it through this.  Even if my body lived on, my soul would be destroyed so thoroughly that even Clayton wouldn’t be able to piece it back together.

Ramirez’s attention was jerked from me as the sound of shouting and heavy footsteps thundered above us.

“ROSE!  Rose, where are you?!”  Clayton bellowed.

I wanted to cry out his name, but Ramirez’s grip on my jaw prevented me from forming a coherent word.  Instead, I screamed as loudly as I could, the shrill, harsh sound echoing around the confined space.

My heart leapt as Clayton appeared at the top of the stairs, his face contorted with the unbridled ferocity of his fury.  His enraged roar and two gunshots rent the air.  I heard my captors’ high, agonized screams, and something warm and wet splattered across my cheek.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jorje and Ramirez crumple to the floor, writhing in agony.  But all I could focus on was Clayton.  He looked so angry.  My betrayal burned through me, searing my flesh from the inside out.  Clayton could see it now.  And he would never be able to un-see it.

Slut.

“What the fuck did you do?!”  Sharon asked, sounding alarmed.  “They were unarmed!”

“They had knives, Silverman,” Smith said coolly, his tone daring her say otherwise. 

“Right,” she nodded grimly in agreement.

Clayton was advancing on me, his expression thunderous.  I fell back on my bound hands as I tried to scramble away from him, cringing.  Oh, god, he had seen me allow those other men to touch me.  I knew when he struck me this time, it wouldn’t be meant for my benefit.

The furious light left his eyes instantly, replaced by concern and fear.  “It’s just me, Rose,” he said soothingly as he bent to gather me up in his arms.  “Don’t be afraid.”  His voice sounded pained.

I began to cry as the taint on my skin touched him.  “I’m so sorry,” I sobbed.  “I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry…”

Clayton clutched me to him tighter.  “
It’s okay, Rose,” he reassured me, sounding alarmed.  “You have nothing to apologize for.”

That wasn’t true.  He just didn’t realize it yet.  My throat closed as my panic rose up in me, blocking my windpipe.  I gasped, but I couldn’t draw any air into my lungs.

“Breathe, Rose,” Clayton commanded, shaking me slightly.  “Breathe.”

But I couldn’t obey his order.  He wasn’t my Master anymore.  He would reject me now that he could see my true nature.

“Get a medic down here now!”  I heard Smith bark out.  But I couldn’t see him.  I couldn’t see anything.  Darkness was rolling over me as my head spun.  I threw myself into it, desperate to escape Clayton’s piercing blue eyes.

I became aware of an insistent throbbing in my head, but it was more annoying than it was painful.  Something was dulling my senses, making my limbs feel heavy and my mind fuzzy.  But the throbbing was rousing me from sleep.  I tried to ignore it.  I couldn’t recall why, but I didn’t want to wake up, didn’t want to face reality.

“Rose?”  His voice was low and ragged.  “Rose, are you awake?”

No.  Oh, no.

My worst fears were confirmed when I opened my eyes to find Clayton sitting beside the unfamiliar bed I was lying on.  The memories of his anger, of my unspeakable betrayal, came rushing back, shoving ruthlessly through the fog in my brain to race across my mind with sharp, horrifying clarity.  He had come here to torment me, to tell me that I disgusted him and he didn’t love me anymore.  I cringed away from him.

“Rose.”  Pain laced his tone as he said my name, and he reached for my hand.  I jerked it back, a thin whine like the sound of a pained animal escaping me
.

Something akin to anguish flared in his eyes, and he withdrew his hand reluctantly.  “It’s me, Rose,” he said gently, but there was an underlying strain in his voice.  “It’s Clayton.  I’m not going to hurt you.  You’re safe now.  They’re not going to touch you ever again.”  A shadow of his earlier fury flickered across his face, and I couldn’t help shuddering.

He reined it in with a visible effort, taking a deep breath and forcing his taut muscles to relax.  But even when his expression softened, my pain at his presence was undiminished.  I wanted desperately to get away from him, but my heavy limbs wouldn’t allow me to get two steps before he stopped me.

“Please,” I begged in a strangled whisper.  “Please don’t hurt me.  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

His expression turned stony, and he grabbed my hands in his, his fingers curling around mine tightly so I couldn’t escape him.  “Don’t pull away from me, Rose.  You’re going to listen to me.  And you’re going to understand.”  His voice had that cool, assured quality to it that commanded my attention.  His eyes burned down into mine with fervent sincerity.  “I’m not going to hurt you.  I will never hurt you.  You have nothing to be sorry for.  You’ve done nothing wrong.  Those men touched you without your permission, and you’re not responsible for that.”

“But I am!”  I wailed, unable to bear his firm reassurance.  He was mistaken.  He didn’t understand.  “I gave them my permission.  I asked them for it because I’m…  I’m a filthy slut.”

I waited for his mouth to twist downward in disgust, but instead his expression was drawn and angry.  “What have I told you about calling yourself that?”  He demanded severely.  “You are
not
a slut, Rose.  And I will tan your hide so that you can’t sit for a week if I ever hear you say it again.”

“You don’t understand,” I protested.  Knowing that I was about to destroy his fierce faith in me made my heart shatter.  But I couldn’t let him stay with me after what I had done to him.  He deserved better than me.  “I gave myself to them willingly.  I wanted to please them.”

Clayton’s brows drew together, but the repulsed expression that I was expecting still hadn’t registered.  “Explain,” he demanded.

“I…  They were going to kill Greg.  I couldn’t le
t them do that.  I thought if I could make them happy, they would let him go and they would keep me alive.  I thought I was buying time, that they wouldn’t hurt me as badly if I consented.  I was wrong about that,” I ended in a broken whisper as I recalled how Ramirez had brutally shoved his fingers into me.

Clayton’s grip on my hands tightened, and he let out a low growl.  “If I didn’t love you so goddamn much,
I
would have killed your brother by now for what he’s done to you.  As it is, I have to remind myself of it with every passing second to stop myself from going to his hospital room and beating the shit out of him.”

He loves me? 
He was too good.  I really didn’t deserve him.

“How?”
  I asked, my voice barely audible. “How can you possibly say you love me after what I’ve done?”

“I will always love you, Rose,” he p
romised fiercely.  “Nothing you could ever say or do will change that.  And something that is done to you by someone else sure as hell won’t change it.”  Electric blue sparks crackled and popped in his gorgeous eyes as he stared down at me with a furious intensity, impressing his will upon me with the full power of his dominant aura.  “You are going to listen to what I’m saying, Rose.  I love you more deeply than I have ever loved anything or anyone else. And you are going to accept that.  You’re going to believe it.  I’m not giving you the option to do otherwise.  Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master,” I whispered, automatically submitting to his control.

“Tell me you love me,” he ordered.  “And mean every word of it.”

“I love you, Master,” I said, my voice ringing clear and true for the first time since I had awoken.  “I love you, Clayton.”

He lowered his face to mine, pausing when our lips were no more than a hair’s breadth apart.  His hot breath fanned across my skin as he spoke in a deep, approving rumble.  “That’s a good girl,” he praised before he brought his mouth down on mine.  The kiss was tender and soft.  I knew Clayton was being careful with me because I was hurt, but I craved more of him.  My fingers curled around his shoulders as I pulled him down into me.

But he had always been far stronger than I was, and I was unable to prevent him from pulling away from me slightly.

“No, Rose,” he said softly.  “You’re hurt.”

“I know,” I said.  “I need a painkiller.”  I reached for him, but he evaded me.  He tried to look stern, but I could see a hint of regret in his eyes.

He gestured to the IV drip that was stuck into my arm.  “You already have plenty of painkillers.  But I can get you more if you want them.”

He reached for the nurse’s call button, but I grabbed his wrist to stop him.  “No!”  I cried, suddenly panicky.  I didn’t want to leave him again.  Not when I had just gotten him back.  “I don’t want to sleep.  I want to stay with you.”

There was a soft knock on the open door, and I looked up to find Smith standing at the threshold to my room.  He was holding a bouquet of roses and smiling at me softly.  “Mind if I join you?”  He asked.

Smith.
 
At the sight of him, I suddenly recalled his presence in the basement, the screams of my tormentors as they writhed on the floor.  I couldn’t suppress a shiver at the memory, and Clayton stroked his thumb over the back of my hand to soothe me.

Smith looked uncertain at my reaction, but I didn’t want him to leave.  “Don’t go,” I
said, my tone a touch pleading.