Say You'll Stay (35 page)

“Here,” Angie says as she hands me a cup of coffee.

“Thanks.” I scoot over on the swing and she sits. “I really screwed up.”

“Yeah.” She sighs. “But then again maybe not.”

I glance over waiting for her to explain, because I don’t see how this could be good in any way. Angie sips her drink, oblivious to my waiting. “How?” I finally ask.

“You’re learning to ask for what you need. You’re not running. You’re fighting for your life, Pres. There are no more secrets now. You can finally be free.” She throws her arm around me, tugging me to her. “I know it’s scary, but Zach needed to know. The boys needed to know the truth. And if he doesn’t come around, that’s okay. You’re not living in the shadows.”

As awful as today was, there’s been so much healing and love. The boys are hurting, but they understand a lot more now. My parents and brother were instrumental in helping them. We all sat with them, talked, offered the strength they needed, and in the end, they were both a little calmer.

In no way are we all okay, but there’s no lack of support to help us through.

“What if I can’t get him back?”

“Well, then he doesn’t deserve you.”

“I was wrong,” I admit.

Angie will always be on my side, but I’m aware of how she feels about this. “I think you were really young and then really hurt. I’ve known you pretty much my entire adult life. You’re not a dishonest person, Pres. You’re a runner. You never had to face shit head first.”

My god, this is what they see me as? A weak woman who runs?

“Wait.” She sits up and looks at me. “Before you go all stupid in your head. I just mean that you had Zach as a kid. Then me and Todd. You had someone the whole time. Then Todd pulled the rug out from under you. And with that comes some scrapes and bruises.”

“I feel like an idiot.”

She rests her hand on my leg. “You’re not. You’re so much stronger than the woman I saw last. You stood your ground, apologized, and tried to make amends. I think you’ve come a long way, my friend.”

“I had no choice.” I release a heavy breath.

“No.” She stops. “You didn’t. And I think that Zach is different too. You both are. It was really unfair of me to think otherwise.”

Logan opens the door, and we both look over. “Mom.”

“You okay, baby?” I ask as I walk over.

“I like Zach.”

My lips press together into a small sad smile. “I do too.”

“I want to say I’m sorry to him.”

Hearing Logan say he wants to apologize to Zach makes me feel like, maybe, I haven’t screwed him up completely. “I’m sure he’ll come around again.”

He looks over toward the corral. “He makes us laugh. He’s really nice, and he makes you smile.”

I don’t want to hide the reality from him anymore. “Zach and I have adult problems. And whether we work out or not, I know him. He really loves you and Cayden. I don’t think you’ll be able to get rid of him. No matter what though.” I squat down so I can look in his eyes. “Uncle Cooper, Aunt Angie, Wyatt, Trent, and everyone else in this town will be around you. Okay?”

“Do you think he’s mad at me?”

His little green eyes fill with moisture. “No, baby. I don’t think he’s mad at you. Not even one single bit.”

He nods. “I hit him hard.”

Angie giggles. “I think you and I need to work on your boxing. You gotta hit him in the ’nads next time.”

“Angie!” I scold her.

“Teach the kid the basics, babe. ’Nads and nose.” She winks.

Logan laughs, “I missed you, Auntie.”

“Oh, Bubs,” she comes over and messes his hair. “I missed you more.”

“Please listen to nothing she says. You don’t want to hit anyone in the ‘nads.”

“They’re balls, Mom,” he corrects me.

“I’m not even going there,” I say with a laugh. Boys.

His gaze returns back to the corral. “I hope he comes by tomorrow.”

I want to say I do too, but he’s got a lot on his mind. Zach filled a role for Logan without anyone asking him to. He became his friend and someone he relied on. Wyatt and Cooper are as well, but Zach was something special. I think Cayden thinks of him as a hero. He remembers what it felt like when Zach found him, but the bond between him and Logan was slowly forged.

Angie takes Logan’s hand. “How about we all go watch a movie? I’m here for another week because someone.” She looks around tapping her chin. “Is turning eleven soon. I wonder who that could be?”

Logan rolls his eyes. “You need to work on your acting skills, Auntie.”

“I’ll give you acting skills.”

“Don’t give them to me!” he gasps. “You need them.”

We all burst out laughing as Angie starts to chase him. “Come here, you little monster!”

They both head inside, and I sit here wondering what to do. I feel so lost right now. The dust has settled for the most part with the boys, but Zach and I are clearly not even close. No matter what, we need to talk again.

I take out my phone and text him.

Me: We should talk.

I stare at the phone, willing it to respond. I haven’t heard from him since he left with Wyatt.

Zach: I know.

That’s it? I try to keep myself calm. I don’t have the energy to exert on this.

Me: Tomorrow?

Zach: Yeah, tomorrow. How are the boys?

I look toward the sky and pray. “Please don’t let me lose this man again. Please let us find a way to work it out.”

Me: They’re both okay. Logan is worried you’re angry with him.

His response is instant.

Zach: Never. I’m angry with me. I’m angry with us. Tomorrow we’ll talk.

I type out my response. It sits on my screen as I debate whether to send it. This isn’t something we should talk about via text, but I have to tell him I love him. I need him to know that even though we’re both feeling a lot, that hasn’t changed.

Me: I’ll miss you tonight. Please know that no matter what, I love you.

I press send and close my eyes.

I sit, holding on to my phone and waiting for it to buzz.

But it never comes.

I think I’ve lost the love of my life—again.

“J
UST WHEN WE THOUGHT ALL
was working out for them. We didn’t even have time to make them a back-together cake,” Mrs. Rooney’s voice filters through the hallway. “Bless her heart. She must be a wreck.”

“She hasn’t even been out of bed yet,” Mama says.

Oh dear Lord. I better stop this train before it goes off the rails. I enter the kitchen, and it’s filled with food. I’m talking a bakery’s worth of cakes and pastries. Angie sits at the table, digging in and writing things down. “What is all this?” I croak.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Angie tries for chipper, but it’s fake. She knows I’m far from feeling like sunshine.

I look over at the four other women in my kitchen. Mrs. Rooney, Mama, Mrs. Hennington, and my third grade teacher, Mrs. Kannan. This cannot be good.

“Oh, sugar,” Mrs. Rooney says with her lips pouty. “I’m so sorry about you and Zach.”

I look at her with wide eyes. “What?” How in the hell?

“We heard all about what your fight was about.” Her hand rests on my arm. “You must be devastated.”

“Completely wrecked. I mean, she looks like it,” Mrs. Kannan comments.

I woke up ten minutes ago. What the hell are they expecting? I also didn’t expect a confectionary parade in my house. I rub my eyes, hoping it’ll cover the eye roll as well. I need coffee to deal with this.

Mrs. Hennington steps forward. “You’ll always be like a daughter to me.”

“Thanks. I think.” I shake my head. “We’re fine, though. I mean we’ll
be
fine, we just need to talk.”

They talk as if I’m not there. “Do you think she’ll find another man at her age?” Mrs. Kannan questions. “She’s still pretty and hasn’t gotten too many extra pounds, but she’s not a spring chicken either.”

“I’m right here,” I remind them.

“Zach looked terrible last night.” Mrs. Hennington sighs while turning back to her friends. “I was so happy they’d finally found their way.”

I stand here like a voyeur of my own life.

“We didn’t even get to enjoy their reunion before they screwed it up,” Mama says. “I swear that girl has always been too smart for her own good.”

“I heard she kept some big secret from him.”

“Hello!” I yell. “Can hear you!”

Mrs. Rooney looks over at me then back to their little hen meeting. “He wasn’t Mr. Perfect either though, Macie. I mean that boy of yours needed a good whipping a few times.”

I can’t listen to this but trying to get them to stop is useless. He’ll call today and then this can all stop. I look over at Angie who is stuffing her face. She shrugs unapologetically. “I want to hire all of these baking goddesses.” Gobs of cake fall from her mouth.

“You need a trough.”

I plop down in the chair next to her. “Have you tried this?” She shoves the fork in my face. “Eat this. It’s orgasmic.”

I take a bite of Mrs. Hennington’s cheesecake. I’d know it anywhere. It tastes like heaven. “This is why I bake.”

“This would be why I would be a thousand pounds,” Angie admits while popping another forkful in her pie hole. “God.” She moans. “I could die happy in this sugary heaven.”

I lean back and try very hard not to listen to what they’re saying. According to them, Zach never returned back home last night. Of course I slept with the phone in my hand, praying he’d call. I also went to the creek, but he wasn’t there. I feel off balance.

Me: Please tell me you’re okay. I want to talk sooner rather than later.

“You’ll be diabetic if you stay here.” I laugh through the words.

Angie eats while I wait for the phone to ring.

“Presley.” Mama takes my attention from the phone. “The town wants to do something nice for you.” She smiles at her friends.

“For what?” I’m so confused.

“Well.” Mrs. Rooney walks over. “For your breakup of course. No woman should go through being broken hearted at your age.”

The fact that I somehow manage to not make an outward groan should earn me a medal. “We’re not broken up. We have plans to talk.”

“Really?” Mama asks. “Then why did Macie rush over here to tell me that she saw Felicia moving boxes back into his place.”

My heart drops to the floor. He wouldn’t take her back. There’s no way. This is insane and wrong. “Mrs. Hennington.” My voice cracks. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sorry, dear.” Her gaze drops to the ground. “I asked her what in the hell she was doing, but she said Zach would be letting me know soon enough. I didn’t see him, but it was clear she was hauling her stuff back in.” She releases a sigh through her nose. “I have half a mind to throw him off my land.”

“How?” I manage to mutter. “I mean, there has to be a mistake.”

She rubs my back. “I wish there were.”

Well, fuck that. I’m not going to sit back this time. He can’t tell me he’s here for me, that he loves me and wants to build a house, and then go to Felicia after our first fight. There’s no way. She has to be confused. He wanted a day, well, I wanted a life.

Zachary

I
STARE AT THE TEXT
from last night and hate myself for not responding. After I sent the last text, I chucked the phone across the room. I didn’t want to see what she said. Between the throbbing headache from drinking so much and the ache in my chest, I knew I couldn’t.

Presley has no idea how crushed I am. A baby. Our baby. The one thing I’ve never given anyone else because I couldn’t imagine have a child with anyone but her. She never said a word to me, and for that, I can’t talk to her right now.

“You should call her,” Trent urges. Both of my brothers have been with me all night. I was so fucked-up, throwing things around the house, they didn’t trust me not to get in a fight with the rest of the furniture. So they brought me to Wyatt’s cabin where there’s less of anything, let alone anything breakable.

“And say what?”

“Tell her you’re sorry and that you love her. I don’t know! You cried all goddamn night about how much she means to you. You know that you’ll never stop loving her, right?”

I nod.

“Then don’t be a dick!”

“She lied!”

“So what?” Wyatt chimes in. “So fucking what? She’s Presley Townsend. The girl half the men in this town would give their left nut for. We won’t even talk about what that means to you.”