Scarlet Feather (45 page)

She could hear him saying ‘extraordinarily rude woman’ as he called the children. Cathy felt a moment of guilt when she heard their excitement.

‘For us?’ Simon was saying. Normally they wouldn’t get any calls.

‘Who is it?’ Maud asked him, and got no reply, so she got to the phone first.

‘It
is
, it
is
,’ she called. ‘It’s Cathy.’

And Cathy felt a sudden rush of tears, which she beat back as she suggested they go on an outing.

‘I thought we’d go to the cinema and have a burger, then I’ll drive you home,’ she offered.

‘Will we come and pick you up at the premises?’ Simon offered. ‘
No
, I mean, no thanks, Simon, just get the bus in to O’Connell Street… and I’ll see you there for the four o’clock show.’

‘Come with us, Tom,’ she suggested.

‘No, only two days to the show. Marcella’s nerves are frazzled, and she says she wants to talk this evening.’

‘Right. I suddenly thought you could do with a relax too.’

‘I could have,’ he said. ‘But these are stressed times, and you’ve not forgotten we’re having a supper after the show?’

‘No, indeed. Where are we going?’

‘The little Italian place, Geraldine’s coming. Ricky and Joe too, I think, if he can get away, Shona and half a dozen more. We’ll be able to get away nice and early when the show is finished. No coming back here with the van or anything. Haywards says we can clear into their kitchens and just lock up. I’ll cope with it when I get in to do the bread on Saturday.’

‘You work too hard,’ she said sympathetically.

‘So do you. Was there a lot of standing and hanging around when you were up there at the cash and carry?’

She looked at him sharply. It had been exhausting, she had an ache in her back and some of the food she saw revolted her. She thought that the visit there would never end.

‘Not too bad today,’ she said. This would be another very hard conversation, the day she would have to tell him she would be taking maternity leave. But she would face it when she had to.

‘And you’re sure we didn’t do anything bad?’ Maud persisted.

They were having their burger after the movie.

‘No Maud, remember what I told you about not being the centre of the world.’

‘Yes, but we were afraid you thought—’

‘I wasn’t thinking about you at all, we’ve been very busy.’

‘So how do you know when someone is really cross with you, or if they’re just busy and not thinking about you?’ Simon wondered.

‘It’s something that comes with time, you do get to know, Simon.’

‘Were you older or younger than us when you got to know?’ Simon asked.

‘A bit older, about six months older, I think.’ Cathy felt very tired.

The more the children talked on and on about some madman called old Barty and the strange food they ate, and Mother being in bed a lot during the day and Father out a lot at night, she knew it had been a great, great mistake to let those children go without a fight. Neil had given the wrong advice there. She knew it. It had nothing to do with flesh and blood.Muttie and Lizzie Scarlet sitting alone up in St Jarlath’s Crescent would have made much better parents to these children than the ones who had actually brought them into the world.

‘Why don’t I take you up to see Hooves before we go home?’ she suggested suddenly.

They looked at each other awkwardly. Embarrassed, Maud shuffled her feet and Simon looked out of the door of the restaurant.

‘What is it?’ Cathy looked from one to the other.

‘Well, you know the bargain. We weren’t to go back to St Jarlath’s Crescent except on Saturdays,’ Simon began.

‘But the bargain was all about you being good children and going straight home from school. It’s the holidays now.’

‘Sara said it was the same term or holiday.’

‘But it’s just a drive, you’re allowed to go out with
me
, can’t I drive you where I want?’

‘Better not, Cathy… Sara said that Mother and Father are a bit jealous of what a good time we had at Muttie and his wife Lizzie’s… And they don’t like us going back there… in case it shows that it’s where we prefer.’

‘And is it?’ Cathy asked.

‘You told us not to say anything about preferring one place to another. You told us that would be bad-mannered,’ Maud said, confused.

‘Did I? I must have been very intelligent back then.’

‘It’s not all
that
long ago,’ Simon said. ‘You couldn’t have lost a lot of intelligence in such a short time.’

‘I love you, Simon,’ Cathy said suddenly. ‘And I love you too, Maud. Right, if everyone’s finished I’ll take you home to your parents’ house.’ Cathy busied herself about the departure so that she wouldn’t have to see the looks of total shock on the twins’ faces. Nobody had ever said I love you to them like that before. They hadn’t an idea how to cope with it. Back at the house, she was about to drop them at the door.

‘Please come in,’ they begged.

‘No, truly, it’s better not.’

‘But you’re not afraid of them like Muttie is,’ Simon cried.

‘And we could do our dance for you,’ said Maud.

‘Certainly I’ll come in,’ Cathy said, and marched into the house purposefully. ‘Kenneth, Kay, thank you for lending me your magnificent son and daughter, we had such a nice evening, or I think we did.’ She looked at them, waiting for the polite, enthusiastic response she had taught them that people expected.

‘Terrific film,’ said Maud.

‘And Cathy paid for two burgers each,’ Simon said.

‘So they won’t need any supper.’ Cathy looked around to see any signs that someone had been preparing a meal for the children at eight o’clock on a summer’s evening.

‘There’s some ham in the fridge,’ Kay said defensively.

‘Oh, I’m quite sure there is, Kay, and that you would have made a lovely supper for them, according to all the agreement and everything, but tonight I don’t think they’d be up for anything at all.’

‘No indeed, thank you,’ said Simon.

‘Can we get our shoes and the tape recorder now?’ Maud wanted to know.

The parents looked on in bewilderment as Simon and Maud waited, toes pointed, until the correct bar of the music, and danced solemnly up and down the kitchen. They had improved greatly since the last time Cathy had watched it, with her hand over her mouth to hide the nervous laugh and to beat back the feeling that her sister Marian would kill her dead for allowing them to get up in public.

‘And this is for a wedding, apparently?’ Kenneth Mitchell said, having clapped because his wife and Cathy had done so with such vigour.

‘Yes, my sister’s wedding next month… They’ll be the star turn.’

‘It’s just that I’m not really sure…’

Cathy clenched her hands. This fool was not going to try to renege again on the wedding. ‘Oh, you
are
sure, Kenneth, remember your brother Jock told you all about it, part of the terms of the agreement?’

‘Yes, yes, of course.’

‘And talking about the agreement, I want you to know how reliable Simon and Maud are about everything. You see, I had forgotten that you only want them to visit my parents’ house once a week. I was going to drive them up there briefly to visit their dog…’

‘Well, come on now, it’s not exactly
their
dog, is it?’

‘Yes it is, very exactly their dog, my father bought it for them himself and looks after it for them with pleasure until their weekly visit, but you interrupted me. I was telling you how proud you should be of them; they reminded me of the agreement which I had forgotten. I think it’s sad myself, but I do think they were splendid to be so up front about it all, since it’s your wish.’

‘Well… um, yes, it… of course…’

‘So I thought I’d mention that since they are being so generous and observing the letter of the law as regards your wishes, you might be equally generous next month and let them make a few extra visits around the time of the wedding, so that they can meet everyone properly.’

‘Well, we’ll have to see…’ Kenneth began.

‘Of course you will, I knew you would.’ Cathy beamed at the children. ‘Your father is just as reasonable as I said he would be, and there will be no problem at all about the various wedding parties… As soon as Neil is back from Africa, he and his father will be in touch to firm it all up.’ The children looked at her, bewildered. ‘Thank you all so much, it’s been a very pleasant visit.’ And then she was gone. She slowed down a little just to hear what Kenneth Mitchell would say.

‘Extraordinary woman,’ he said, and without looking, she could see him shaking his head from side to side.

‘Love, before you even speak a word let me tell you that you’ll be a sensation,’ Tom said.

But her face was troubled, almost as if she hadn’t heard him. ‘Marcella, what are you worried about?
Tell
me, you look lovely, you knock the others off the stage, you are stunning – it’s just actor’s nerves, I know…’

‘No, that’s not the point.’

‘But it is in a way. You tell yourself that in a day and a bit, tomorrow night at ten o’clock all this will be over and life goes on as normal.’

‘But that’s just it. I can’t go back, not now.’

‘What do you mean, go back?’

‘To the salon to do nails.’

‘But there’ll be more jobs once people have seen you…’ ‘There will be no jobs unless I get an agent.’ ‘You said Mr Newton—’

‘Paul Newton
is
interested in representing me and arranging for me to go over the water for some try-outs… But it’s not definite… it depends.’

‘I know you were saying you’re afraid you won’t be good on the night itself, but you will, I tell you, I can see confidence in every bone of your body.’ He begged her to believe him.

‘These are tough, selfish guys, used to getting what they want.’ ‘He’ll see you perform tomorrow night, he’ll
know
you’re what he wants.’

‘It’s a bit different.’ ‘What do you mean?’

It’s all in their court, they can make or break you. If you play according to their rules; you get to be part of it all, if you don’t, you’re not allowed to join.’ She was twisting her hands uneasily. He had no idea what she was trying to say. ‘So what’s the problem? If you do right tomorrow on that catwalk, as you will, then you will be part of it, or whatever you say the expression is.’ ‘They say we have to go and party with them tomorrow night,’ she said, looking at the floor. Tarty?’

‘Yes, back at their hotel.’

‘But we
can’t
, you know I’ve set up a dinner in the little Italian place, everyone’s coming. You’ll have to tell them we can’t make it.’ ‘Not you, just me.’

He assumed she was joking and laughed. ‘And what do you do for an encore?’

‘No encore. If I do that, then I’m on his books and that’s it.’ He realised it wasn’t a joke. She was actually telling him that this guy had made her such a gross proposition. You come round to the hotel and party, or you don’t get on my books. It was laughable. It’s just because you
do
look so lovely it makes men lose their senses and say such ridiculous things.’ ‘He means it.’

‘Well he can mean what he likes.
I’m
telling Joe he’s not to come near the place tomorrow night and upset you like this.’

Marcella allowed herself very few cigarettes a day; she knew they dulled her skin tone and discoloured her teeth. But she lit one now. ‘Could you stop making gestures for a minute. There’s no question of telling Joe anything of the sort. Joe needs people like Paul Newton to get his clothes shown, you’re not going to say one thing that would upset that.’

‘So what are we talking about?’ Tom asked.

‘We’re talking about what Paul Newton suggested,’ she said simply.

He looked at her in disbelief. And then he began to laugh. It was a real laugh, not a pretend one. She
had
to be joking. But why was she not laughing back? ‘You’re not remotely serious, are you?’ he said suddenly.

‘Never more so, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about.’

‘Stop it, you’re unhinged, you’re not some high-class tart he can buy with the thought of a modelling contract.’

‘It’s not the thought, it’s the actual contract,’ she said.

‘And you’d screw him for that?’

‘It won’t come to that, you know it won’t. Just a party with girls and champagne, that’s what they like.’

‘Give us a break, you nearly had me fooled.’

‘T have never in my whole life told you a lie or done anything to deceive you, why would I do so this time?’ She spoke in that strange, almost robotic voice she had used once before, that time when he had thought she had lied and gone to a party instead of to the gym.

‘He’s only calling your bluff, don’t fall for it. You’re too bright for that, for heaven’s sake.’

‘No, it’s one or the other.’

‘Well let it be the other, the decision that involves telling him to get lost.’

It’s my choice, my future, I’m the one who has to do it or not do it, to get onto a proper bona fide model agency’s books or lose the chance for ever.’

He looked at her and realised that she meant it. ‘So we’re not discussing this at all, you’re telling me what you’re going to do. Is that it?’

It’s not like that.’

‘What’s it like, then?’

It’s like my never going behind your back as I could easily do, or could have done.’

‘I wish you had.’

‘You don’t mean that. We swore that we would be honest with each other. I never knew that being honest would end up like this. It’s meaningless, it’s silly even thinking he’s a hotshot.’

‘Then why even contemplate it?’

‘Because it’s not meaningless to him. So where’s the harm?’

‘And you’re telling me that you wouldn’t mind, if for work’s sake I were to do something similar?’

‘We
have
to be nice to people in business. You do, every single day, and remember that awful woman who ran the magazine that did our photo shoot… She was making great signs of fancying you. I thought you might have to go off and have lunches and parties with her; if you had to, then you had to.’

Tom laughed aloud at the very thought of it. ‘You see, you say something like that and I’m ninety per cent sure you must be winding me up about all this.’ Again he got no answering laugh. ‘So you admit he fancies you?’ he said.