Scars of the Past (18 page)

I nodded and he cringed.

“Your wrist is broken, but Craig put a cast on you and made sure nothing in your face was broken. You had to get five stitches above your eyebrow, and the left side of your face has looked better. The doctors say your other eye is fine, and once the swelling goes down it will be back to normal. There was so much blood… But the doctor explained that wounds on the head bleed a lot more, and it was nothing to worry about.”

Josh hesitated a moment, and when he spoke his voice was quieter.

“He didn’t rape you. You fought for your life, Madelyn, and he didn’t get what he wanted.”

“I wasn’t going to let it happen again if I could help it.”

We sat in silence for a moment, and I rubbed my thumb over one of his knuckles that had fresh wounds on it.

“Are you okay?” I asked softly.

“He didn’t get a single hit in, Mad. I’m perfect now that you’re awake.”

“She’s awake?” Sydney sat up suddenly, and Amanda drooped in the chair causing her to wake up too. Sydney saw my eye open and scrambled to the right side of the bed, throwing her arm around me. I let out a tiny grunt of pain as the weight of her arm hit my chest, but I didn’t say anything.

“I’m so sorry! This is all my fault!” She sobbed into my shoulder, and I awkwardly tried to pat her back with my hand. It took all I had to avoid crying out when the pain in my head intensified.

“Syd, no. You didn’t know. He didn’t look the same, he’d changed his appearance a lot.”

She sat up and looked at me, tears still running down her face.

“Sydney,” I said slowly. “Did he hurt you?”

She shrugged and shook her head. “He wanted me to fight him, but he’s not the first so I didn’t think anything of it. We didn’t do anything non-consensual.”

“It was chance that I ran into him. He was getting something in the fridge at the same time I went to get a drink of water. If I had just stayed in bed...” I felt out of breath, like I had been running a marathon instead of speaking a few sentences.

Josh shook his head. “There are pictures of you everywhere in that apartment. He probably would have figured it out before he left in the morning.” He shuddered. “If he had gotten to you while you were asleep, I don’t even want to think about it.”

Amanda was at Josh’s side, completely silent and just staring at me. “You okay, Amanda?”

She gave a little huff. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

I just stared at her and she gave a small smile. “I just opened my door and almost stepped on the lifeless body of one of my best friends. I don’t think I’ve fully recovered yet.”

I grimaced at the description, but before I could say anything there was a knock at the door.

Detective Bradley and Detective Wilson stepped through, both looking tired.

Sydney scowled, and shot Detective Bradley a look before sitting back in the chair she’d been in originally. He returned an equally unpleasant look before settling his gaze on me and smiling.

“You’re awake. Quite the nap you took, Maddie.”

I gave him a confused look. “What day is it?”

Detective Wilson gave a half smile. “It’s Saturday evening. You’ve been out since yesterday morning.”

Detective Bradley nodded in agreement. “Your brother called us this morning to tell us you were awake, but you were back asleep before we got here. We just need to take your statement, if that’s okay.”

Amanda and Sydney both stood to leave, but I shook my head. “You don’t have to go.”

I told them everything, and Josh’s hand never left mine, his grip tightening at some parts. I stopped only to gulp down some more water or to catch my breath, but continued immediately, wanting to get it all out.

Detective Wilson cleared her throat when I was done, shooting a glance to Josh. “The hospital did a rape exam when you got here since you couldn’t tell us whether or not we needed to. Mr. Richards confirmed that you two had engaged in sexual activity the evening prior, is that correct?”

I blushed, looking away from the Detectives eyes. Josh smirked and gave me another quick squeeze.

“Yeah, before he left for the night.”

Detective Wilson nodded. “The exam had indicated that you had been involved in sex recently, but there was no trauma and so we don’t believe he raped you again. The timeline wouldn’t fit, anyway. We did take a DNA sample, just to be safe, and Mr. Richards was kind enough to offer an oral swab so we could compare it.”

“We also took a sample from your attacker once we got him to the hospital. We rushed that DNA and it matches the semen from your original rape kit. He’s being held over for charges of rape, assault, and attempted rape, but we’re hoping that in light of all of the evidence that he will take a plea bargain and you won’t have to testify.”

I closed my eyes and relief rushed through me.  “Detective… What’s his name?” I knew it sounded like a stupid question, but I had been wondering for months.

It was Detective Bradley who spoke. “Tyler Martin. He’s 28-years-old and lives in Roseville. He doesn’t have a record, but we can’t be sure this was his first time. He might just pray on girls who are intoxicated, but aren’t as brave as you so they don’t report the rape.”

I didn’t respond, but dropped my eyes to my feet at the end of the bed.

No one spoke for a few moments, but it was Josh who finally broke the silence.

“Madelyn. It’s over. He can’t hurt you ever again.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

The hospital let me go on Monday, two days later, and I’m pretty sure they knew it was for their own safety because I was going crazy.

They had finally allowed me to shower on Sunday, but only if I had help. I had plenty of people who were willing, but in the end I had Josh help me since he saw me naked on a regular basis.

I walked slowly into the bathroom and for the first time I looked in the mirror. The person staring back at me looked like someone completely different. The left side of my face was almost completely bruised, and my cheek and eye were both swollen. The stitches above my eyebrow looked disgusting, and thanks to that laceration I had dried blood in my matted hair.

A nurse came in and wrapped my hot pink cast in a water proof bag, and then when she left Josh helped me take the gown off. He stripped down to his own boxers and I gave him a smirk.

“Stop it. I’m leaving them on in case the nurse comes back in.”

I rolled my eye, but didn’t say anymore.

He waited patiently while I brushed my teeth with my left hand, which turned out to be harder than I thought it would be.

I moved to step into the shower, but caught sight my naked body in the mirror. I gasped when I saw my chest. I had a huge bruise across the top of my ribcage that looked like it was at least six inches long and just about as wide. Josh watched me inspect myself, anger etched on his face.

“They think when he hit you that he put all of his weight onto your chest. The doctor said you were lucky none of your ribs were cracked or broken.” His voice was low and bitter.

I stopped my inspection and moved towards Josh. I leaned my head against his bare chest for a moment, and when I pulled away some of the anger had left his expression. I stepped in the shower and he turned on the sprayer, holding it back until it was warm enough.

“Sit down, Mad.” Josh said as he gently pushed on my shoulders until I was sitting in the shower chair. He rinsed me down first, and then slowly spread soap over my all of my body. Once we got to washing my hair, he took his time, making sure it was completely clean. I held a dry washcloth to my stitches, and by the time we were done my left arm felt like jello. He turned off the shower and grabbed the bathrobe the girls had brought from home.

I stood up and he moved to wrap me in it but stopped, running his hands down my lower back where it had been torn up from the wall behind the bar.

“He’s caused so many scars on your body, Madelyn, and I know you hate them. I hate how they got there, but love what they represent. That you survived.”

I turned around and gave him a slow smile, and he dipped to give me a small kiss.

He wrapped the robe around me, and then hurried and got himself dressed, throwing his wet boxers on the floor next to my stuff. Once he was dressed, he pulled some of my clothes out of the bag he had.

“I figured you’d want your own clothes by now.” He smiled as he held up a pair of pajama pants. “But I’m going to insist that you wear pants while you’re in the hospital.” He stopped suddenly and frowned. “You’re not going to like this.”

“What?” I looked at him, confused.

“They had to cut my t-shirt off of you when they got you to the hospital.”

I remembered, with a sinking feeling, that I had been wearing his old Sacramento Kings t-shirt the night of the attack.

“That is heartbreaking, but at the same time… he had his hands all over your shirt. I don’t know if I could have worn it without remembering.”

Josh nodded in understanding and pulled a different shirt out of his bag. “Well, I found this one for you that I think you’ll look fantastic in anyway.”

He held it up to show me what it was, and I laughed. It was an old Sierra View Vikings basketball shirt that had his last name and jersey number across the back.

“I think it’s even better than the last one.” I smiled up at him and he beamed.

It took us a few tries to get the shirt over my head and cast, but eventually we did. He helped me get my underwear and pants on and then looked at me proudly.

“All clean. Let’s go sit back in bed and I’ll brush your hair.”

–––

The days following the attack, I was rarely alone. Josh stated he was no longer sleeping at his place when he had to be up early, and told me I’d just have to get used to him waking me up on those mornings. Matthew spent any time he wasn’t at work at our place playing video games, and mom made random excuses to stop by, usually with a food of some sort in her hand.

Sarah had stopped by already as well, but she was honest about her visit unlike the rest of them. She wanted to make sure I didn’t relapse into the shadow Maddie I had been after the original assault. I felt different than I had last time, and I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because he was off the streets, or even that he had not been able to rape me again. Even though he had beaten the crap out of me I didn’t feel as violated.

It had only been a day since I was released from the hospital when the Detectives stopped by, a prosecutor with them, and they had said they wanted to discuss my case.

Detective Wilson gave me a once over as she walked in, and nodded, seemingly satisfied.

“Your face looks better; the swelling has gone down a lot.”

I grinned. “And I was able to open my other eye this morning. The little things in life, and all that, right?”

She laughed and pat me on the shoulder. “Right.”

Josh was at work and the girls were at school, but Matthew was there playing watch dog for the day and he joined us on the couch.

“Maddie, I’m the assistant district attorney who will be prosecuting your case,” said the lady who had introduced herself as Christina Walton. “And we just wanted to update you on what is going on.”

She took a deep breath. “Tyler Martin has agreed to plead ‘guilty’ to rape, sexual assault, sexual battery, and battery causing serious harm. If he goes to trial he could potentially be sentenced to twenty years in prison, and go up for parole sooner than that. With the plea deal he is accepting fifteen years without the possibility of parole.”

I nodded in understanding. “And this way I won’t have to testify?”

“Correct,” Christina pulled some papers out of her briefcase. “He has a stipulation though, and we wanted to run it by you first.”

Matthew sat up straight and narrowed his eyes. “A stipulation?”

“Right. He says he will plead guilty so we can avoid trial, but he wants to speak to Ms. Thomas face-to-face once in return.”

Matthew jumped to his feet, his fists clenched. “No. That’s not okay. You will not put my little sister through that.”

I grabbed his hand and tried to pull him back to the couch. “Calm down, Matt. Sit back down.”

Detective Bradley spoke for the first time, scowling. “I agree with your brother. He has some sort of sick fascination with you, and I don’t like it.”

Detective Wilson cleared her throat. “But this will mean that Maddie doesn’t have to go through a trial. This directly affects her and it should be her decision.”

I didn’t respond, just stared at the prosecutor for a moment. She started to look annoyed in my silence.

“Look Maddie, we would probably win if we went to trial. He beat the crap out of you, but he may not get as much time, and I might not be able to get him on the rape.”

“What?” My voice sounded shrill to even myself. “Why not?”

“I read the report, and it says that you had been drinking, and your blood alcohol level was pretty high. And you admitted yourself that your experienced a climax. He’s going to argue that the sex was consensual.”

I felt all of the blood rushing to my face, and Matthew turned to look at me. “You what?”

The door opened and Josh walked in, unknotting his tie with one hand. He took in the sight around him and immediately dropped his stuff by the door.

“What’s going on?” He moved around the back of the couch and stood behind me with his hands on my shoulders.

The prosecutor huffed in annoyance. “You must be the boyfriend. I’m the prosecutor on the case and I was just talking to Ms. Thomas about her options.”

She relayed the stipulation and before she’d completed her sentence Josh was growling.

“Fuck no.”

She sighed. “Mr. Richards, as I was telling Ms. Thomas, her intoxication and climax have the rape charge a little shaky.”

Josh’s hands tightened on my shoulders and I could hear him taking deep breaths, trying to calm down.

“Get out.” He growled, I looked back and he was looking directly at the Assistant District Attorney, his face covered in anger.

“Get out of here right now.”

She looked taken aback, but gathered up her paperwork.

“Ms. Thomas, I need an answer by Thursday at noon. He’s due in court on Friday and I need to know if I’m taking this to trial or not.” And with that she disappeared through the door.

Detective Wilson looked angrier than I’d ever seen her.

“Maddie, I’m so sorry. She’s not usually assigned to prosecute the sex crimes and she has no tact. You think it over and make the decision you feel you need to make and we’ll stand behind you, okay?”

“Okay.” My voice was tired and small.

Detective Bradley and Josh seemed to have a silent exchange and the detective moved forward, crouching so he was eye level with me. “I’ve told you this a thousand times, Maddie. But this is
not
your fault. You understand me?”

“I do and I know.” I gave him a forced smile and he shook his head.

“Stubborn girl.” 

Both detectives left and the living room was silent but tense. I kept my eyes down, staring at all of the writing on my cast. Josh came around to sit on couch, pulling me into his arms, but Matthew stood frozen where he had been.

He turned to me finally, a confused look on his face. “You had an orgasm while you were being raped? What the hell, Maddie?”

Josh stood so quickly that he almost knocked me to the ground.

“You better shut the fuck up right now, Matt. You’re my friend, and a damned good big brother, but you better watch what you say.”

“But how?” Matthew shook his head, clearly bewildered.

“Madelyn,” Josh appeared in front of me, in the same position Detective Bradley had just been in. “Why don’t you go lie down and take a nap?”

“I’m not made of glass, Josh.”

He smiled, taking my hand and pulling me to my feet.

“You’ve definitely proven that.” He reached a hand up and grazed my bruised face. “Can you please do this for me? I need to talk to your brother.”

I glanced at Matthew and he stood with his arms folded, confusion laced with a touch of anger sat upon his face.

I just sighed and shook my head tiredly. “Don’t kill each other, please.”

I shuffled down to my room and had made it to my door before I heard Josh’s low voice cutting into Matthew. Not wishing to hear any of it, I went into the bedroom, shut the door, and turned on some music.

I sat in the chair to my desk and thought about what the prosecutor had said. If my own brother reacted like this, how would a jury?

There was a knock on the door a few minutes later, and Sydney pushed through with her eyebrows drawn together.

“Your brother and your boyfriend are having a shouting match in the living room.”

“Yup.” I moved to the bed and laid back on it to stare at the ceiling.

Sydney joined me, grabbing my hand as we sat there. After a few minutes of silence she spoke quietly.

“Is it true?”

I didn’t respond, and she tugged on my hand so I would turn my head to look at her.

“Don’t be ashamed. I wish you had told me. If anyone understands sex, it’s me.”

When I still didn’t say anything, she continued.

“Mad, I had sex with him, you know. He knew his way around the bedroom and knew exactly what to do to get a girl off. Please don’t beat yourself up.”

I knew her words were supposed to be comforting, but instead they just made my stomach hurt.

“Thanks Syd.”

We laid quietly on the bed, the only thing I could hear was the music coming from the speaker on my desk. When the door opened, Sydney stood up and I heard her hiss something at someone before the bedroom door closed again.

The bed dipped where Sydney had just been, and a frustrated sigh filled my room.

“Maddie, I’m an asshole. I’m so sorry.”

I looked up at my brother from my position on my back, and quickly looked away.

“I just thought of all people you would be on my side.”

“I am. I always am and I always will be.  I was just surprised, I swear. Josh knocked some sense into me and I realized that it could be that way for a guy, too.”

He lay down next to me, and pulled me as close as he could. “You are my favorite person in this whole entire world, Madelyn Louise. I am
always
on your side. Don’t ever doubt that. But I am also a stupid man, and sometimes it takes me longer to figure things out.”

When he finally released me with a kiss to my forehead, we both sat up and in my movements my cast hit him in the forehead.

“Ouch.” He winced, rubbing his forehead. I learned forward to inspect it, but a bruise forming on the left side of his jaw caught my eye. I brought my fingers up to touch it and he winced again.

“Your boyfriend has a mean right swing.” Matthew grinned at the astonished look on my face. “I deserved it.”

A voice sounded from the doorway. “Yes, you did.”

Matthew gave me a kiss on the cheek and stood, moving for the door.

“I love you, baby sister.”

“I love you too, Matty.”

Josh and Matthew exchanged a nod as he walked out of the room. Josh shut the door and moved towards the bed.

“You okay? Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head, and got up to lock the bedroom door.

“Talking about it is the last thing I want to do right now.”

He raised an eyebrow at me, but didn’t say anything.

“You keep hitting people, defending my honor, and it’s pretty hot.”

I stood in front of him, and his arms moved around me automatically. I reached under his shirt and trailed my hand up his chest slowly, while my other arm hung uselessly. His eyes closed for a second before he reopened them, a determined look now upon his face.

“As much as I’d love to, Mad, we really should wait until you can breathe a bit better.”

I pushed up on my toes so I could kiss his neck, and Josh began walking me towards the bed. I felt the backs of my legs touch the mattress, and Josh pushed me onto my back gently. He was careful not to put any weight on top of me as he moved to capture my lips. His hand cupped my chin and we kissed as if our mouths were part of a choreographed dance.

After a few minutes, I pulled back slightly and broke the kiss. I was breathing heavily and in short bursts, my lungs feeling as if I had been underwater for too long.

Josh sat up and gave me a smug look. “Yeah, we better wait.”

He helped me sit up, and my wheezing lessened as I gave him the best glare I could.

“Ass.”