"And what do you see?"
She paused, maybe shoving more coal into the thought-train's mighty furnace.
"Well, I see Ginny and Kris, and I know that I want what they have. They've been together so long, and they seem so comfortable with each other. Then I see Laura and Holly and how different they are from each other, but it's like the one completes the other and vice versa. I want that, too, and I feel like we were so close to that, but it's as if the final completion isn't there yet. I don't know what it even is, and I think that scares me. It seems like it's right in front of me, and yet I can't grasp it."
She paused again, this time to swill a little Earl. I thought of a dozen things to say, questions to ask, but for once it seemed to me that in order for there to be an us this needed to be hers.
Another swig later, she said, “Then I look at Maggie and Susan. I remember back to when we were new and trying to mesh. Things were alien. Things didn't fit right. Things had to be reshaped or whittled down. It's an uncomfortable place to be, and yet it is so hopeful at the same time. It seems almost like we're back there again, but the hope is missing. I don't like that."
I knew we were close to our destination, but I didn't want to arrive. Not yet. For the moment, I wanted to do nothing but listen.
"And then, of course, there's Alison and Lisa. Any other time, I could just totally dismiss them, to not take anything from them except the sense that I never want to be like them ... or maybe just Lisa. But this time is so different. Maybe it's just seeing Lisa's true colors."
"I haven't exactly liked her colors this weekend either."
"But, Kate, I think her colors are my colors,” she said, her voice narrowly cracking.
I had to admit that her comment took me completely by surprise. Of all the people, she was least like Lisa. I did not know what to say. I did not know what to ask so that I could come to know her rationale. As I dealt with the reeling of my mind, I felt the car slow considerably, and then I felt the turn. With the veering, a tear from above me freed itself and hit my cheek. I left it there—it belonged there—and I waited for her to park. When she did, she looked down at me, and I looked back to see a pain there that I did not comprehend.
"Claudia, you're nothing like Lisa,” I reassured her.
"I think maybe I am. I think there's something in me that pushes people, makes them pull away, makes them leave. When Alison wises up, Lisa will be alone—probably for the umpteenth time,”
she reasoned. “What happens when you wise up?"
I paused for a few seconds, and then said, “Well, to defend myself by saying that I'll never wise up, might not be a good thing, huh?"
She gave me a laugh and then a massive sniff.
"You gonna shoot a loogie, too? See, you could be a biker chick!"
The hair stroking turned to a playful slap on the head. I raised my hand and touched her cheek.
"Honey, you're not—” I began but was interrupted by a loud banging on the window.
"Granton PD,” a loud and low voice announced.
I flew to a sitting position only to find Laura pounding on the passenger-side window. I opened the door and plowed it into her.
"What the hell was that for? You scared the shit out of me!” I barked.
"Hey, I'm a cop, I'm in a park, and I see two feet plastered to a car window. What should I have done? I knew it was either a dead body or some hot action. Either way, I was obligated to have a look see."
"You are so full of shit, Laura."
She crouched and shoved her head into the car. “Hi, Claudia,” she said. “This one giving you any trouble?"
"Ah no, Detective. No hot action either, thanks to the fine police work of the Granton Police Department,” she replied—and walloped in kind.
Good answer! Good answer!
"Okay, I'll behave, but Holly's out here trying to blind and gag me, and I'm just not sure this is such a wise thing."
"You'll be okay,” Claudia reassured. “Just don't let her anywhere near an art fair, and it'll be okay."
"Speaking of which...” I said. I grabbed the two bandanas and cleared my throat. “Are you ready to be blinded and gagged?"
"Damn! I forgot,” she said. “Go for it, I guess."
"Ah, you might want to vacate the driver's seat first,” Laura suggested in her official tone.
Within minutes, Holly and I blindfolded and gagged Laura and Claudia. There was something very enticing about it. A part of me wanted to speak my mind freely to her, knowing that she could not defend herself. She could only hear me.
Holly and I quickly studied the map at the park's entrance and then made our way to Grand Gully.
When we got there, we helped our ‘precious cargo’ out of the cars. We stood on a very narrow road, and a thick forest loomed on either side. A small dirt trail and a sign were the only indications that something existed within the forest walls.
I had Claudia latch onto the back of me, arms around my middle. “I'll go slow. Just try to sense my movements and stick with me,” I instructed. “I'll give you a guided tour."
After several minutes of heading deep into the forest, we came upon a clearing. There, about fifteen to twenty feet above a muddy, oozing ravine, hung the most rickety footbridge I had ever seen. As we scanned the area, Holly and I spied Maggie and Susan on the other side. Perhaps they accounted for the eerie swaying of the bridge.
"Okay, guys, we're at the bridge,” I said.
"It's not a regular bridge, though,” Holly chimed in. “It's ropes and boards. Susan and Maggie are on the other side."
Oedipus and Echo were not particularly overjoyed at the prospect. Unintelligible blabber forced its way through their bandanas.
"Trust, guys,” I said. “You trust us, don't you?"
There was more unintelligible blabber. We decided, nonetheless, to take it as a “yes."
I told them, “It's about fifteen feet in the air. So I think even if we fell we wouldn't get hurt, just severely muddied."
"I think we should get moving right away, before Maggie and Susan start coming back; otherwise, they'll be way ahead of us,” Holly said. “You guys go first."
"Oh gee, thanks for that kind gesture,” I replied sarcastically.
I took Claudia to the edge of the bridge, and I told her to take hold of my hands and not let go. I would back myself over the bridge with her in tow. I made a few steps out with her, and it didn't seem that difficult, but soon the swaying made me realize that holding onto each other and not the ropes would probably send us over the side. I stopped her and took each of her hands and put them on the rope handrails. “You'll have to listen to me, hon. I'll get a little a head of you and then wait for you. Okay?"
She nodded, and I carefully held onto the ropes and backed up a few steps. “Okay, Claudia, come forward three steps and then stop."
She did as she was told, but screaming was definitely not unintelligible blabber. I did my best to reassure her, and by the time we reached the end of the bridge, we were getting rather skilled. I hugged her tightly as we disembarked. I told her we were safe for the moment. I felt very protective of her, perhaps in a way I never had or at least hadn't been allowed to in a long while.
She was always so willful and self-sufficient.
"All right, go for it, Holly,” I yelled across the gully, refusing to acknowledge Maggie and Susan in fear they'd want to head back first.
I moved Claudia to a spot where she could sit. I greeted the others and noticed that from hip to calf, Susan's right leg was covered in mud. Afraid to ask for details, I returned to bridge's edge to make sure that Holly and Laura fared as well as we had.
About halfway across the bridge, Holly lost her footing and fell. In the midst of a shrill scream that seemed to echo for miles, she held on tightly to the wooden slats and ropes. I could hear Laura scream through the gag in her mouth, and I saw her hand struggle to remove her blindfold.
"She's okay, Laura! She's okay! Leave the bandana on. Leave it! She's okay!” I yelled as loudly as I could. “Holly, tell her you're okay."
"I'm okay! I swear, I'm okay,” she said, but the person who turned around to look at me was not someone who was okay. A scared little girl peered back, begging for reassurance.
"Holly, youare okay. Even if you fell, you'd be okay. So grab the ropes, steady yourself, and get back up. Laura needs you to get back up."
I could hear Laura screaming through the bandana, and then suddenly Holly heard it to. “Oh for Christ sake, Laura, I'm the one who fell, not you! Quit your screaming. I am quite capable of getting us across this stupid thing. So just shush your mouth!” she directed, the scared little girl evaporating into thin air.
"All right, Laura. I'm up. Move three steps toward me."
Laura still made disgruntled noises through the gag, and Holly yelled right back at her, prodding her onward. When she made the third step and felt Holly in front of her, she completely let go of the ropes and just held her. I prayed that the resulting to-and-fro was not enough to hurl them over the sides. It wasn't, but it was enough to make Holly lose her balance backward and Laura to come toppling down upon her.
Here we were in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of some God-forsaken woods with two prone women on a bridge.
Just then I spied the arrival of Alison and Lisa.
"What's going on?” Alison yelled, cupping her hands around her mouth to the bridge the distance.
"Nothing,” I yelled back. “Just Laura and Holly playing out their Tarzan and Jane fantasy. Just hang tight. They'll be off in a few."
Laura attempted to crawl and pull Holly with her as she went. Despite the gag, I could make out the word “go” being yelled. Holly yelled “no” in return, and soon “Go! No!” became an odd mantra. In the midst of this battle of wills, I saw Lisa, and Lisa alone, fumble in her bandana-darkness until she grasped the ropes of the bridge. She began crossing. Alison was yelling at her to stop, but she continued unabated.
At that moment, Holly sat straight up, plowing Laura out of her way. “Laura,” she shouted, “I am quite capable of getting us across this bridge, so shut the hell up! Now stand up!"
Laura did not move, and a flurry of muffled words still found their way through the bandana.
"Lisa, stop! You're making the bridge sway!” I yelled, but it seemed she was blind, mute, and completely deaf.
Holly was still ripping into Laura. “Stand up, I said! You think I'm some ditzy blond who can't take care of herself, let alone you. You are wrong, Detective. Now shut up and stand the hell up!"
"Laura, just stand up,” I instructed. “Just do what she—"
Before I could finish my directive, Holly spun her head around and shot me a look even dirtier than Susan's leg. “You shut the hell up, too, Kate! Otherwise she's trusting you and not me. It should be easier for her to trust me than you!"
Ouch!But she was right. Holly was in charge. Whatever happened to them, and the approaching Lisa, was their doing, not mine.
Apparently Laura got the message as well, for she grabbed the ropes—forcing herself to stand in the midst of surrender. She pulled herself upright, and in so doing, the motion of the three of them caused the bridge to nearly turn over completely. In a split second, I saw Lisa take a nosedive over the side, her body hitting the incline and rolling to the bottom of the gully.
"Lisa!” Alison yelled and took off to help her.
Laura and Holly had managed to hang on, and instead of being traumatized by the situation, they were madly laughing. In a doubled-over squat position they made their way toward me, Holly moving backwards, Laura blindly facing me.
Before their feet made the final steps onto land, loud music rang out from Laura's back pocket. In the eerie silence of the gully, the words of Cheap Trick spewed forth: “I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I'd love you to love me. I'm beggin’ you to beg me.”What?
From below us, I heard Lisa shouting, “Here!” I looked over the edge to see her, bandana-less, flailing a white paper napkin high and a cell phone above her head. Alison struggled in vain to get them from her.
"What the—"
"She got the napkin with our number on it!” Holly declared. “The bitch called the number to see who would answer! The bitch called our phone, Laura!"
With that, Laura removed her blindfold and stared into the gully. Then she removed the last bandana and yelled, “Alison, you okay?"
"Oh, I'm sure she is now,” Lisa wailed.
"Screw the clue!” Holly said. “Come on, you guys!"
She and Laura nearly sprinted across the bridge. I helped Claudia out of her bonds, and Maggie did the same for Susan. When we made it back to the other side of the gully, Laura and Holly were walking away with Alison, Holly's arm around her, apologizing for being so stupid.
Back at the road, we decided to do what we had done with the Mad Cow incident: we were all winners, or all losers, depending upon your perspective.
The seven of us headed back, leaving Lisa to her own devices and her own car.
"Not one of you could do a simple trust walk?” Ginny asked, apparently shocked beyond belief.
“Not one?"
"What the heck happened out there?” Kris inquired.
"Trust is overrated,” Laura quipped, but offered no humor to accompany it.
"It's my fault,” Alison stated.
"No, it wasn't,” Holly defended.
"Actually—"
We all spun around to see a muddy Lisa approaching. She looked through us all and kept her eyes riveted on Alison. “Actually, it was my fault. I overreacted. I'm sorry."
"Oh, Lisa!” Alison cried as she ran to her and threw her arms around her.
As they moved off to the side to talk, we silently turned back to Ginny and Kris. Awkward glances were exchanged, and envelopes were handed out to each couple.
[Back to Table of Contents]
Back in the car, it seemed an unspoken, mutual decision not to talk about what had happened. I so wanted to wag my finger in Claudia's face, though. How could she even begin to think that her colors resembled those of that other?
"Where are we headed this time?"