School of Fear (23 page)

“Schmidty said Abernathy won’t bother us as long as we stay out of the forest and I’m not going in there,” Garrison said while
surpassing Lulu and taking the lead.

“Do you hear that?” Madeleine said frantically while drenching herself in repellent. “Insects! Bugs! They’re talking to each
other, preparing to swarm!”

“I don’t hear anything,” Lulu said. “Maybe chattering from the squirrels, but that’s it.”

“A swarm is coming! Do you hear me, people? A plague!” Madeleine screamed.

“A plague?” Theo asked. “Nothing good is ever attached to a plague. There’s never a happiness plague or a safety plague. Always
bad stuff. Anyone remember the bubonic plague?”

“Madeleine,” Garrison said firmly, “You need to get ahold of yourself. There is no swarm, no plague, nothing.”

“But that sound!” Madeleine railed on hysterically. “Don’t you hear it? Surely, you must. It’s getting louder by the second!”

“There is no sound!” Garrison said harshly. “It’s in your head. You need to get a grip before you give Theo and yourself a
heart attack!”

“They’re coming,” Madeleine said with tears in her eyes. “I can hear them buzzing toward me, preparing to attack at any second.”

“Guys,” Theo said to Garrison and Lulu. “She looks pretty certain. Maybe we should listen to her. Maybe a plague really is
coming and she’s more tuned in from all her years of avoiding the outdoors. She’s like a superhero with an extra sense, a
bug sense. Do you understand what I am saying?”

“No,” Lulu said definitively, “I absolutely do not understand what you are saying or thinking or …”

“They’re here!” Madeleine hollered, immediately breaking into a frenetic, awkward run that included shaking her arms and legs
while coating her body with repellent.

While Theo hadn’t seen who “they” were, his instincts told him to run, so that’s exactly what he did.

“You have got to be kidding me? Fireflies? That’s the plague that’s coming?” Lulu said while stifling her laughter. “You would
have thought insects had bred with spiders the way she was screaming.”

“Don’t joke about spidsects!” Madeleine shouted at Lulu. “It’s blasphemous!”

“In fairness to Maddie,” Garrison said, feeling particularly guilty for having been so dismissive earlier, “I’ve never seen
fireflies travel in such a tight pack before. I guess it could be kind of freaky if you’re not prepared for it.”

“I think they’re pretty, kind of like a comet,” Theo said while watching a small pack disappear back into the forest.

“Pretty? Ha! Do they have antennae? Multiple legs? Sticky feet? Hairy bodies?” Madeleine asked pointedly.

“Don’t worry,” Theo said calmly, “It’s not like they can sneak up on you. They have lights on their backs.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Madeleine acquiesced while looking cautiously around her, “but I still wouldn’t call them pretty.”

The cobblestone road twisted tightly with hairpin curves, obstructing the group’s ability to see more than twenty feet ahead
of them. With that in mind, it was rather fortuitous that Garrison, Madeleine, Lulu, and Theo were enjoying a silent stretch
when they turned the corner. Purple was all they had to see to know it was Munchauser. No one else wore purple suits in Massachusetts
or, more aptly, all of New England.

After years on the field, Garrison’s strategic instincts were well honed. He immediately crouched down behind one of the multitude
of signs warning against entering the forest, signaling the others to follow suit. Munchauser’s gnarled ugly face contorted
with annoyance as he tried to pull Macaroni off the dirt shoulder. Clearly, he wasn’t aware of the dog’s distaste for the
feel of cobblestone on his paws.

With one hand holding the leash, Munchauser dug deep into the leather satchel and pulled out a sandwich.

“Oh no,” Theo whispered to Lulu. “What’s he going to do to the sandwich?”

“You’re worried about the sandwich? What is wrong with you?” Lulu responded.

“No, I was just wondering. Of course, I’m more worried about Macaroni … it was just a question.”

“Shhh,” Garrison hushed them as Munchauser attempted to lure Macaroni onto the road with the promise of a cheese sandwich.

“Lulu, Theo, you guys stay here. Maddie and I are going to cross the street. When I give you the signal, we’re going to rush
him. Try and get ahead of him so we can angle him against the forest.”

“That’s your best play? Rushing him? He’s a giant purple monster and we’re going to rush him?” Lulu asked with attitude.

“Do you have a better idea?” Garrison asked.

“Maybe,” Lulu scoffed while Garrison held her gaze.

“Well?”

“Um, I’m thinking … we could … rush him,” Lulu finally relented.

“That’s what I thought,” Garrison said with a smirk.

“That’s what I thought,”
Lulu mimicked as Garrison and Madeleine crouched down to cross the road.

“Mimicking doesn’t suit you, kind of like the color yellow,” Theo whispered, to which Lulu could only roll her eyes.

Close to the forest’s foliage, Madeleine instinctively began spraying. She was far too close to trees where insects, bugs,
and spiders resided not to take every precaution available to her. Obviously, not all the creatures were gracious enough to
come with a light on their backs; she needed to be ready for the covert operatives.

The sound of Madeleine’s repellent was oddly familiar to Munchauser, prompting him to look up from Macaroni. Garrison threw
himself on top of Madeleine, immediately drowning out the sound. As much as she loathed being stopped from dousing herself,
this was the closest the two had come to hugging, and Madeleine rather enjoyed it. While she was always grateful for her veil,
she was extraordinarily grateful in this moment, for it kept Garrison from seeing her crimson face.

“Five meatball sandwiches if you take one step onto this road. None of that kibble junk. I’m talking real ground beef; all
you have to do is take one lousy step onto the road,” Munchauser said through gritted teeth as he yanked at the dog’s leash.
“Do you know how many dogs would kill for ground beef? Do you? I bet you one million dollars you don’t know how many dogs
would kill for it. And don’t worry, if you’re wrong, I’ll just take it out of your trust fund,” Munchauser cackled to himself.

Garrison watched Munchauser closely, nervous that his feeble plan might not work. Lulu was right; it was hardly a very smart
or cunning approach. On the other hand, it was the only plan they had. Garrison threw down his arm, signaling the others that
it was time. Lulu and Theo took off first, attempting to get ahead of Munchauser on the road. Unfortunately, Theo’s loud footsteps
on the cobblestone immediately signaled their presence.

“Give us back our sandwich!” Theo screamed.

“Theo!” Lulu yelled.

“I mean dog! Give us back our dog!”

Garrison and Madeleine ran directly toward Munchauser, who was now attempting to lift the portly Macaroni. Theo and Lulu continued
charging ahead as well. The plan appeared to have a chance at working when something tan, black, and furry descended en masse.
It seemed that the flurry of running and yelling had disturbed a clan of squirrels. Almost straightaway, the squirrels went
into battle mode, dive bombs and all. They courageously flung their bodies out of the trees, chattering loudly as they descended
through the air.

Lulu was first to be hit, with one landing directly on her face. Madeleine screamed with terror as two squirrels clung viciously
to her veil with their teeth. As the squirrels pulled, Madeleine fought hard. She had absolutely no intention of letting her
veil go without a brawl. It was only the arrival of a third and borderline obese squirrel that proved more than she could
handle. The squirrels won, jumping to the ground with her precious veil in their mouths. Within seconds, the veil disappeared
into the forest while Madeleine stood dumbstruck.

Garrison managed to pull two squirrels from Theo’s back while removing a particularly determined one from his own head. It
was only after the squirrel mania had died down that they realized Munchauser was gone.

I
n his haste to escape, Munchauser dropped the sandwich. There on the gray cobblestone lay a delicious cheese sandwich on thick
sourdough bread. Theo, a true sandwich devotee, couldn’t help but try to pick up the scrumptious item while running after
Garrison. It was only Madeleine’s reminder that stopped the boy from satiating his ever-growing hunger.

“Dirty fingernails, Theo! Years’ worth of dirt!” Madeleine hollered with her hands above her head, attempting to shield herself
from the great outdoors.

Garrison and Lulu were first to turn the corner, spitting them out onto a long and equally foliage-enshrouded straightaway.

“Impossible! There’s no way he could cover so much ground with a fifty-pound dog in his arms!” Garrison screamed while scanning
the road ahead. There was nothing but green.

“Maybe he went into the forest?” Lulu added.

“I don’t think so; if he was willing to brave that, he would have done it already.”

Much like animals in the desert, Lulu and Garrison were moving slowly in an attempt to stalk their prey. Madeleine and Theo
were oblivious companions, both terribly preoccupied with their own issues.

“Thank you so much, Madeleine,” Theo whimpered. “I don’t know what came over me. I’m not used to skipping breakfast, I guess.
To think I could have ingested a sandwich that Munchauser had his dirty fingernails all over.”

“Skipping a meal can be quite a shock to your system, kind of like losing your shadow,” Madeleine said in reference to her
veil.

Completely unaware of the emotional turmoil Madeleine was undergoing, Theo blabbered on. “Mad, will you be my sponsor on the
trip? Stop me if I try to eat something dangerous or dirty or a meat product. I would hate to lose my many years of vegetarianism
over —”

“Theo, look at my head! I’ve lost my veil. There’s nothing between
me
and
them
,” Madeleine said excitedly. “They could lay eggs in my hair! Or just drop them while flying by!”

“Give me your cans. I’m going to drench your head in so much repellent that your hair may actually fall out. You saved me,
now I’m gonna save you.”

“That’s just great,” Garrison said sarcastically, “but who’s going to save Mac and Schmidty? How is it
possible
that a tall man in a purple suit carrying a fat bulldog can vanish without a trace?”

“Do you think it’s unusual to develop arthritis in a day?” Theo asked as the glum foursome continued down the straightaway
with no sign of Munchauser or Macaroni. “’Cause my joints are really starting to hurt. I wish other people used this road;
they could take me straight to the doctor. Not that I believe in hitchhiking, because normally I would never even consider
getting into a stranger’s car. But in this situation, I think I would revise my rules,” Theo babbled on, seemingly unaware
that no one was responding to him.