Sealing the Deal (27 page)

“CPS was at our place days ago,” Beth said, passing Emma’s blanket to Robert. “They haven’t been to Darren’s yet?”

Alexis shook her head. “They’ll go sometime in the week Emma’s in his care. They need to see the environment he’s providing for her and how they interact with each other. Then they’ll file both reports with Judge Ramsey.”

Robert focused on soothing his girls. Emma was clingy today, not a surprise considering the tension in the room. Beth, on the other hand, seemed as cold and stiff as a block of ice.

Keeping a steady arm around Emma, he tried to drape his other arm across his wife’s shoulder, but she shrugged him away, as if his touch bothered her instead of strengthened her. While he wanted to whisper words of comfort, he had none. They were both hurting and should be leaning on each other. Instead, their new rift grew by the minute. So did his frustration. And his anger at the way his wife was shutting him out.

“I’m s-sick of that bastard,” Robert said, his voice rising with his emotions. “Absolutely sick. I wish we could stop all this n-nonsense and raise our daughter in peace.”

* * *

Beth frowned at Robert. Couldn’t he see the anger in his voice was disturbing Emma?

This situation wasn’t any easier on her than it was on him, but she hadn’t been reduced to shouting every word. Alexis wasn’t to blame for this, and she didn’t deserve his disdain. “Stop it,” Beth scolded.

His eyes narrowed at her. “Stop what? Trying to keep my daughter with me?” He tossed his head at the duffel she’d dropped on the floor. “Looks to me like you’re already rolling over and playing dead. Hell, you’ve sent enough for her to m-move permanently instead of a week.”

Clenching her hands into fists, she refused to let him yell at her just because he was upset. “I sent enough in case they don’t have a washer or dryer. I didn’t want them to have to go to a Laundromat for Emma. I’ll wash her stuff when she gets home.” The fact that he didn’t even look contrite made her angrier. “I don’t want her to go, either. But you don’t hear me screaming at Alexis as if this is her fault.”

“I wasn’t screaming.”

“Beth. Robert.” Alexis gestured to the chairs. “Why don’t you both have a seat and calm down?” She pulled her chair closer to her desk and folded her hands, resting them on the glass surface. “I know how hard this is on both of you. You know I’ll do everything I can to maximize your time with Emma, and I still have some hope that Judge Ramsey might put her with you as guardians. But for Emma’s sake, you can’t take out your hurt and anger on each other—or on Darren when he arrives. We need to keep things civil.”

Beth nodded, although she wasn’t surprised that all Robert did was growl.

The door to the office opened, and Alexis’s assistant led Darren Brown inside.

“Mr. Brown.” Alexis stood and strode to greet him with a handshake. “Isn’t Kelly with you?”

“She’s waiting at home.” He shifted his gaze to Emma. “Is she ready to go?”

“Her car seat’s in my car,” Beth said. “I can go get—”

“I’ve already got one.”

Beth lifted the heavy duffel. “I packed a lot of clothes. You don’t need to worry about washing anything. Just send them home with her next week and—”

“My maid can handle her laundry. I’ve got this.”

Why was he being such a jerk? “I really don’t mind. She tends to get a rash if you use—”

“I said I can handle it.” Darren strode to Robert. “Give me my daughter.”

Emma was gripping her blanket with one hand and sucking on her thumb. Until Darren reached for her. Then she let out a shrill scream, dropped the blanket, and started squirming against Robert as though climbing him like a tree. “No!”

“C’mon, Emma,” Darren coaxed, finally easing his rough tone. “Come with Daddy.”

Hearing Darren call himself that was as dissonant as nails dragged down a chalkboard.

Emma had developed a rather severe stranger anxiety, and the harder Darren tried to grab her, the more she clung to Robert. It wasn’t as if Robert was making it any easier for Darren, but Beth couldn’t fault him for his need to protect her.

“Are you going to give her to me?” Darren asked Robert. “Or do we have to play tug-of-war for her?”

Eyes brimming with tears, Robert gently pried Emma’s chubby fingers from his shirt. As he helped guide her into Darren’s arms, he swallowed hard.

“Bobber!” Emma screamed as Darren held tight and snatched up her duffel. “Want Bobber!”

Robert put his hand over his eyes and turned his back.

Emma’s panicked eyes caught Beth’s. “Matka! Want Matka!”

“Em…” Beth took a step closer. “Come to Mat—”

“No!” Darren ordered. “You’ll just make it harder.” He stomped to the door, which suddenly opened. The assistant, no doubt. “She’ll be fine once you’re both out of sight.” And then he stepped out of the office.

Emma’s voice rang loud and clear one last time. “Want Matka!”

Chapter Twenty-Five

Beth was getting sick and tired of Robert staring at her as if he thought she was about to explode, especially since he was the one more likely to blow up. All she felt was numb. Resigned. Dead.

They’d barely said a word since they got home, which was probably a good thing. Their emotions were running high, and words spoken in anger would be more destructive than constructive. Perhaps withdrawing was how Robert handled rough situations. Even though they were married, they really didn’t know each other well at all.

She put the supper dishes in the dishwasher after she’d packed away the remaining food. She’d only picked at the stuff they’d bought at the Chicken Shack. Their extra-crunchy chicken tenders were one of her favorite guilty pleasures, but nothing she tried to eat had any taste tonight. That, and her stomach was tied in nervous knots as she worried about Emma. If she ate anything, she’d probably just throw it right back up.

Her daughter’s screams still echoed in Beth’s mind. A remorseful chuckle slipped out at the thought that Emma had finally called her
Matka
, but it had been on the worst day of Beth’s life. A hollow victory at best.

Robert grabbed a beer and then shut the refrigerator door. He popped the cap off the longneck bottle and took a pull of his Budweiser as he rested his shoulder against the fridge and just watched her.

After drying her hands, Beth set the dishtowel aside and turned to face him, folding her arms over her chest and leaning back against the counter. His close scrutiny made her uncomfortable, so she stared at the floor. Seconds clicked by with agonizing slowness.

Had it only been a couple of hours since they’d lost Emma? Seemed like years.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Robert said before taking another swig of his beer.

Beth just nodded, although she wasn’t sure of anything, especially whether Emma had eaten a decent supper, or if someone was checking her diaper, or if she’d even stopped crying yet. Would Darren or Kelly know how to comfort her? Would Emma even allow herself to be comforted? She hated strangers, and despite the biological connection that had let Darren take Emma away, that’s all the two of them were to that beautiful little girl. Strangers.

An elephant stood between Beth and Robert in the gorgeous kitchen they’d designed together. Since he wasn’t mentioning the obvious, she wouldn’t, either. But ignoring it wasn’t going to make the agony disappear. The fact they had absolutely nothing to say to each other now proved what Beth had feared all along. Without Emma, there was no marriage.

“If you don’t need me, um, I was going to go out with B-Ben tonight,” Robert said. “We want to see if Charlie Barker’s got anything n-new this week.”

Charlie Barker. Cloverleaf’s guru of resale. Robert and Ben relied on Charlie to supply hard-to-find items, everything from claw-foot bathtubs to antique chandeliers. The man scoured everything from estate sales to junkyards to find items that builders and contractors could use. Buying stuff from Charlie had saved Ashford Homes a lot of money, and Robert relied on him. Besides, going to his place was probably a great excuse for Robert to get away from the overwhelming tension of the day.

But she needed Robert. Here. Now. How could he not know that? Or did he assume she wanted to be alone because he did, because he didn’t need her?

If she kept thinking this hard, her tension headache was going to bloom into a full-blown migraine.

Beth had never felt more alone in her whole life. If she admitted exactly how much she wanted him to hold her right now, she’d be baring her soul to a man who’d already put one foot out the door. Unable to speak without revealing her churning emotions, she simply nodded.

“We’ll probably grab some w-wings after.” He dragged his toes across the tile floor, looking like a little boy asking his mother for permission. “If that’s okay with you…”

Heck with that
. She wasn’t about to start bossing him around. Or begging for him to love her. He wanted to escape the nightmare for a while, fine. She’d bear it all alone. “Go.”

“You’re sure, B? You don’t need me to stay or anything?” Robert pushed away from the fridge and took a couple of tentative steps toward her, like a hunter trying not to spook his prey.

What she wanted was for him to quit hesitating, gather her into his arms, and tell her he loved her as much as she loved him. That if Emma was gone forever, he’d still love her and still want her to be his wife. Instead, she heard his voice from back in the courtroom, saying something much, much different.

I w-wanted to be Emma’s d-dad.

“Go see what Charlie’s dug up,” she forced out before coughing to cover the way her voice broke.

She wasn’t going to cry. Not in front of Robert. No way would she manipulate him like that. Guilt wasn’t a good foundation for a relationship. A marriage needed love.

Oh, who was she trying to fool? This marriage had no foundation. It had come about as a way for her to keep Emma close and for Robert to fulfill some weird midlife crisis. He’d wanted to be a father, not a husband. If what she feared became reality, if Emma was given to Darren permanently, Beth wouldn’t hold him to his marital vows. He deserved better than a union kept together by pity.

“Okay, then.” He put the mostly full bottle down next to the sink. “You sure you d-don’t mind?”

She shook her head. “I’m just going to read.” One thing she wasn’t able to fake was a smile, not as depressed as she was. So she didn’t even try.

He gave her a quick peck on the cheek that didn’t deserve to be called a kiss and headed out the garage door.

Beth went upstairs. Knowing it was a stupid thing to do, she headed straight to Emma’s room anyway. Her heart was breaking, and each step felt as though she were walking on broken glass. Stopping in the doorway, she looked around the nursery. The room still bore Emma’s scent, a cross between baby and talcum powder. She saw so many things in her mind’s eye. Emma sleeping. Emma playing. Emma smiling. Things Beth would probably never see again.

Her daughter wouldn’t be her daughter anymore. Sure, the judge had yet to make a permanent ruling, but the writing was all over the wall like some kind of grotesque graffiti. This week would become more weeks until Judge Ramsey finally awarded Darren full parental rights and relegated Beth and Robert to superfluous relatives.

Unable to bear seeing Emma’s things a moment longer, Beth went to the master bedroom. That room was every bit as painful as the nursery. Here, she saw what she’d shared with Robert—from brushing their teeth side by side to making love.

Never would she love another man the way she loved Robert Ashford, but she could no longer trust his declaration of love. As Carol always preached,
actions speak louder than words
. Robert ducking out of the house tonight—a time when they should’ve been supporting each other through such a devastating event—showed just how little he really cared for her.

She went through her evening routine on autopilot. Washing off her makeup. Combing her hair. Putting on her nightgown. When she was done, she barely had the energy to crawl into bed, pull the blankets over her head, and lie there in the dark with nothing but her torturous thoughts.

Sleep was her only reprieve.

* * *

The house was quiet when Robert returned from Charlie’s shop. The man had found a veritable treasure trove of stuff, but Robert hadn’t been able to focus on anything Ben or Charlie showed him. No doubt he’d missed a lot of great opportunities for the future houses he would construct, but he honestly didn’t give a shit. When the other guys had gone out for wings and beers, Robert told them he needed to go home.

He should never have left Beth. Every moment of the evening, he’d thought of her. Of Emma. When he’d asked Beth whether she wanted him to go, he’d hoped she’d tell him she needed him. He’d hesitated, literally dragged his feet, but she’d snapped at him to go in a voice that screamed that she wanted to be alone.

After kicking off his shoes, he stopped and stared at them as they lay at odd angles on the rug by the kitchen door. Why couldn’t he learn to put the damn things away? Beth never complained about him being such a slob. She usually just smiled and put things away. She never griped about him working late or bitched about him leaving the toilet seat up or forgetting to replace the empty toilet paper roll. She did loads and loads of laundry and sinks full of dishes and not once did she nag at him about helping.

Beth took damned good care of him. And of Emma.

His eyes flooded with tears, but he gave his head a shake. Then it dawned on him that Beth hadn’t cried, either. He would, but only when he was alone in the shower. It wasn’t masculine to weep. Grown men didn’t cry in front of people. They sucked it up, manned up, and moved on. Besides, his wife needed him to be strong for her.

Or did she? Beth had handled the drama in the office much better than Robert had. He’d clenched his hands into tight fists to keep from snatching Emma right back. Her screams had reached his soul, making him feel as if he were the biggest failure ever. He’d been her father, her protector. Yet he’d been powerless to stop another man from taking her away.