Searching for Harmony: A Boston Love Novel (18 page)

Standing at the window, I gazed out as the snow slowly fell. Feeling my mother’s hand on my shoulder, I smiled slightly. “Preston, dinner is ready.”

Nodding, I turned and followed her into the formal dining room. Stopping at the table, I looked at the seat Harmony had sat in at Thanksgiving. Uncle John was now occupying it as he talked my father’s ear off about the Patriots’ last game.

Pulling my chair out, I sat down. Staring down at my plate, I felt my sister bump my shoulder. “She’s going to call. She has to. It’s Christmas.”

Attempting to smile, I gave her a quick nod and then looked back down at my plate. My father stood up and hit the side of his wineglass to get everyone’s attention. I didn’t feel like looking at him. I didn’t feel anything. My chest ached where my heart was, my stomach felt sick, and my head was pounding—evidence of how much I’d had to drink at the pub last night. Finn ended up having to come and pick me up.

We’d stopped at Harmony’s and I quickly packed up what I could. I was half drunk out of my mind as I wandered around her condo. When I opened the hall closet to see if my coat was in there, I saw all the presents.

Grabbing my coat, I headed out the door with my bag. There was no way I was planning on going back to that condo. I felt lost and alone without Harmony there.

“Now, let’s all stand and give one hope for the upcoming year,” my father said as he looked around the table.

Tuning everyone out, I sat there in a daze.
Where is she? What is she doing? Who is she with?
My mind was racing as I kept coming up with all these scenarios. Maybe she’d met someone and was too afraid to tell me.

“Preston, it’s your turn,” Angie whispered.

“Just pass over me,” I said, barely above a whisper.

Clearing his throat, my father’s voice boomed across the room. “Preston James, it’s your turn.”

Looking up at him, I shook my head. “I’m going to pass on the Christmas traditions this year, Dad. I don’t really have much to look forward to in the new year.”

“Preston,” my mother said as she stood. “For your father.”

Glancing around the table, I saw that everyone had their eyes on me. My mother gave me pleading eyes. I stood up and pushed my chair back, causing it to fall backward.

“The one thing I’m looking forward to next year is…” Glancing at Uncle John, I let out a laugh. “Saint Patrick’s Day, a day when I can get drunk and don’t have to answer to anyone.”

“Preston!” my mother and Angie both said at once.

“Excuse me, I’m not much in the mood for eating.” Leaning down to pick up the chair and pushing it back in, I headed up to my room, but not before I stopped in the living room and grabbed a bottle of rum from my father’s liquor cabinet.

Once I was in my room, I sat down in the chair and stared at my bed. As a took a shot of rum, I could almost feel her hands moving across my body as she softly moaned in my ear.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, but I ignored it. I had lost count of how many times I had sent her a text or called and left her a message. Harmony Banks did not want to talk to me. Letting out a laugh, I pulled out the phone number that was shoved into my pocket from last night.

Karen Mitchell. From what I could remember, she was pretty cute. Finn said he would have banged her had she given him her number. But she gave it to me. Said she had the perfect cure for a broken heart.

Tossing my head back, I laughed. “Fuck.” Holding up the rum bottle I said, “This! This is the perfect cure for a broken fucking heart.”

Opening the bottle again, I drank straight from it until I’d finished it off. I stood up, stumbled to my bed, and fell face-first on it as I passed out. Finally, I had drunk enough booze to pass the fuck out.

Sleep had finally come to me.

O
NE MONTH LATER

Wiping down the bar, I looked up when the door opened. Uncle John walked in and gave me a smile. “You’re here early.”

Shrugging my shoulders, I simply said, “I was thirsty.”

Walking around the bar, my uncle gave me a push. Not just a small push, but a push so hard it caused me to lose my balance and fall on my ass.

“What the fuck, Uncle John?”

He pointed at me. “Don’t get up. Sit there for a second while I talk to you.”

Not moving an inch, I sat there, frozen. I’d seen my uncle beat the shit out of men twice my size. No way in hell was I gonna move.

“Are you finished yet?”

Tilting my head, I looked at him. “Excuse me, sir?”

Slowly shaking his head, he let out a breath. “Are you done walking around with your goddamn head stuck up your ass, trying to drown your problems in alcohol?”

Looking away, I shook my head. “I don’t know what else to do.”

Laughing, he gave me a kick.

“Ouch. Motherfucker! That hurt, Uncle John!”

“Good! Maybe it will wake your ass up. You don’t know what to do? Son, you find her.”

Standing up, I wiped my ass off and rolled my eyes. “I don’t know where she is. I have no damn clue where to even think of finding her.”

Frowning, my uncle narrowed his eyes at me. “Is that so? Maybe you don’t love her like you thought you did.”

It felt like someone had just punched me in the gut. “What?”

Taking off his coat, Uncle John hung it up and then walked over and poured himself a draft of Guinness. Taking another glass, he filled it and slid it down the bar to me. Grabbing it, I took a drink.

“There once was this Irish lad I knew. Couldn’t have been more than twenty at the time. Fell deeply in love with a girl named Abby. Abby got spooked and ran off. O’Ryan wasn’t going to have it. He packed a bag and began searching for her. Took him four months before he finally found her. It took some winning over, but O’Ryan ended up marrying her and they popped out six kids.”

“How did he know where to look?” I asked as I watched my uncle down his beer. Wiping his mouth, he looked at me like I had just asked the stupidest question ever.

“He knew all of her favorite things. Her favorite places. He kept going until he found the one where she was.”

Pulling my head back, I let my uncle’s words sink in. “Favorite places, huh?”

Nodding, he pulled out his phone and showed me a picture. “Seems to me there was a beautiful young lady who you brought in a few months back. First thing I noticed was all of the New York Yankees shit she had on.”

Smiling, I let the memory of that day fill my body with warmth. “Uncle John, she’s been gone over a month. What if…”

Holding his hand up, he shook his head. “I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Preston. She’s waiting for you to find her. She may not know it, but she’s waiting.”

Standing on the beach, I closed my eyes and inhaled a deep cleansing breath. The time I had spent on Nantucket had been good for my soul, but terrible on my heart. I hadn’t slept more than four hours a night and woke up at least twice a night sweating. The nightmares hadn’t returned, thank God, but the feeling of loss seemed even greater.

Sitting down on the cold sand, I glanced over my shoulder at the lighthouse. I’d come to the lighthouse almost every day since coming to Nantucket a little over a month ago. I wasn’t sure why; it was as if it was drawing me to it. There was something there for me to find, I just hadn’t found it yet.

Standing, I slowly made my way back to the hotel. As I walked, I noticed couples walking hand in hand along the beach. Families running and playing chase with their kids as their laughter echoed off the waves crashing on the shore.

Wrapping my arms around me, I buried my face in my scarf as I walked back to the boardwalk. A little girl ran up to me, letting out a squeal. “It’s Princess Elsa from
Frozen
!” Stopping, I quickly turned and looked behind me. The next thing I knew, I had little arms wrapped around my legs. Laughing, I glanced down as big brown eyes stared up at me.

“Why, hello,” I said with a giggle.

Smiling the biggest grin I’d ever seen, she said, “Wow. It’s really you. Let’s sing ‘Let It Go’!”

My mouth dropped open as I said, “Um…” Glancing around, I saw a couple walking up laughing.

“In her defense, you do kind of look like Princess Elsa,” the father said with a chuckle.

Reaching up, I played with my braid as I smiled back at the little girl. My heart ached with thoughts of TJ, but something else happened as well as I looked into her brown eyes. It was as if she was searching my soul and trying to tell me something. Bending down, I tapped her nose and said, “I love the movie
Frozen,
but alas, I am not Princess Elsa.”

Jutting out her lower lip, she stomped her foot on the ground. “Drat. Can I still tell my friends at school I saw a princess?”

My heart melted as tears formed in my eyes. Preston’s whispered words from the last night we spent together flooded my thoughts.

“I love you so much, princess. I’d climb the tallest tower just to hold you in my arms forever.”

“Someone once told me I was a princess. If he said it, it must be true.” Jumping up and down, the little girl took off running again as her father went after her.

“Hey, don’t run off! Pumpkin!”

Laughing, she called out, “Daddy, try to catch me.”

Laughing too, I turned back to the mother. “She’s adorable. Her daddy sure does love her.”

Nodding, I saw the happiness dancing in the mother’s eyes. “Thank you. Her daddy died a few years back and Scott has been so patient waiting for her to open up to him. Really, he’s been patient with both of us.”

Swallowing hard, I looked back at them. The man was spinning the little girl around as she laughed. “I’m so sorry for your loss. She seems very happy, though.”

Letting out a chuckle, she said, “She is happy. I’m so glad I took the leap of faith and opened my heart again to love. It’s an incredible feeling once you let the walls you build up after such heartache fall down.”

My head jerked back to look at her. “What?” I whispered.

“Opening my heart again to love—it was a huge leap of faith for me. I knew I needed to do it not only for me but for my daughter as well.”

Fighting to keep my tears at bay, I asked, “How did you do it? How did you move on without feeling…guilty?”

“Oh, I felt guilty, but my mother told me to ask myself if it had been me who passed and my husband was left with our daughter, would I want
him
to be happy?” Looking down, she smiled. “I would. I wouldn’t want my husband to live the rest of his life without love.”

I glanced back at the little girl running around laughing. Watching her was freeing. Something moved through me as I watched this family living out their second chance at love and happiness.

Smiling, I looked back at the mother as I whispered, “Love really does heal all wounds, doesn’t it?”

Smiling too, she said, “Love is such a powerful thing. Once we allow it into our hearts, it’s amazing how it heals not only our heart, but our soul as well. We never forget, but we do heal.” Glancing at her husband and child, she let out a small chuckle. “I guess everything really does happen for a reason.”

Reaching in my pocket, I felt the charm. Closing my eyes, I was taken back to the day TJ was born and heard the words Trey had whispered. My life would never be the same without my son in it, but I knew deep in my heart, love was healing the pain of losing TJ and Trey.

My lower lip trembled as I rubbed my fingers against my charm and I whispered, “Yes, it certainly does. If you’ll excuse me. Enjoy your day.”

Smiling the sweetest smile I’d ever seen, the mother nodded and said, “Every princess deserves her happily ever after. Follow your heart.”

My heart dropped to my stomach as I nodded and smiled. Quickly walking away, I rushed down the boardwalk and into the hotel. My heart was slamming against my chest as I fought to drag in air.

Reaching my room, I shut the door, took off my coat, and slid down the wall until I hit the floor. Burying my face in my hands, I cried out, “Oh God. What have I done?”

Dropping my head back against the door, I tried to calm myself down. Jumping up, I walked over to the small kitchen area and pulled out the Nutella and a spoon.

Taking a bite of Nutella, I looked down at my phone.

Preston
.

Setting the Nutella down, I wiped my tears away as I turned my phone on. I hadn’t had it on since Christmas, and it was now the first week of February. I had used a prepaid phone each time I called Jake. Knowing how upset he was with me, I had only called him three times. Each conversation was less than two minutes. Enough for me to tell him I was okay and that I loved him. Each time he begged me to call Preston.

Finding Preston’s number, I hit
DIAL
and held my breath.

Voicemail. It went straight to voicemail. Closing my eyes, a small sob escaped my lips as my chest felt like a heavy weight had been placed on it. Setting my phone down on the side table, I walked over to the window and looked out.

“Preston. I love you so much. I’m so sorry.”

Stepping out onto the balcony, I glanced down the beach toward the lighthouse. My heart instantly stopped. A man stood on the beach, looking out over the water. The moment his hand pushed through his hair, I sucked in a breath.

Preston?
An instant rush of adrenaline raced through my veins as I screamed out, “Preston!” Turning, I rushed to grab my coat. My hands were trembling as I kept saying his name over and over.

Rushing out the door, I ran down the steps, not waiting for the elevator.

Running through the crowded lobby, I called out, “Excuse me! Please, he’s going to leave! Excuse me, coming through!”

People quickly stepped out of my way as I rushed out the door that led to the beach. Racing down the boardwalk, I prayed like hell that he was still standing there.

Please, God. Please give me this second chance. I beg of you!

Hitting the sand, I came to a stop. He was standing at the edge of the water, looking out. The wind was now blowing harder as a front moved through. Smiling, I screamed, “Preston!”

I’d never run so fast in my life, calling out his name. My eyes never left him as he stood there, not moving as he looked out over the ocean.

“Preston!”

The wind was howling and the waves crashed on the shore. Preston lifted the collar of his jacket and turned to leave. I stopped and screamed out as loud as I could, “Preston!”

Stopping, he turned and looked at me. My heart dropped as tears fell freely. It really was him.

Run. Run to him, Harmony.

“Preston,” I whispered as I took off running again. Preston smiled and stood there, waiting. Not even slowing down, I slammed into him as he wrapped his arms around me.

“You came for me,” I cried as I buried my face in his neck. “I love you, I love you, I love you so much. I’m so sorry I ran. Please forgive me.”

Preston wrapped his arms around me tighter, not saying a word.
Please don’t let him hate me.
Then a terrible thought came to my mind. What if he wasn’t looking for me? My heart would shatter into a million pieces if that was true.

“Harmony, baby, I’ve been searching everywhere for you.”

Crying even harder, I wrapped my arms around his neck tighter. “Please don’t ever let me go. Please, Preston!”

“Never, baby, I’m never letting you go ever again.”

It felt as if Preston held me forever before I slid down his body. He placed his hands on the sides of my face as he wiped my tears away. Preston pressed his lips to mine. “Harmony,” he whispered as he kissed around my lips, my face, along my jaw, and on my neck. Reaching my ear, he whispered, “I was so lost without you.”

My heart stopped momentarily, knowing that I had hurt Preston. My chin trembled as I looked into his beautiful green eyes. Opening my mouth to talk, I felt sick. Closing my eyes, I drew in a shaky breath.

“Please forgive me, Preston. I was so scared and the thought of losing you was more than I could bear.” Shaking my head, I wiped my tears away. “But now I know I’d rather have you in my life than to live this life without you in it. My life is complete with you…Without you…I’m nothing.”

Preston’s eyes searched my face. “Harmony, I want everything with you. Marriage, kids, rocking chairs on porches out in the middle of the country. I want to own your heart forever and I promise you, I’ll never give you a reason to run again.”

My heart melted as my stomach fluttered. “Preston, I want all of that with you, too, and it wasn’t you that made me run. It was my own fears and insecurities that I let creep into my head. Trey’s parents stopped by that day, the day of the fire.”

Nodding, he whispered, “I know. They came by to apologize the day you left.”

Rolling my eyes, I looked out over the water. “As soon as they left, I went to you. You were the first person I thought of. The first person I needed to get to. The cab driver was stuck in traffic and when I found out it was a fire, I guessed your station would be there. And then…” My voice cracked. I stopped to take a cleansing breath and calm my heart down.

Pulling me to him, Preston held me tightly. “Harmony, I know. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like for you, but I promise you won’t ever have to worry about that again.”

Pulling back, I narrowed my eyes at him. “What do you mean I won’t ever have to worry about that again?”

Dread filled my body as the realization of what Preston was about to say hit me.

“I’m no longer working at the fire station. I quit.”

Shaking my head, I grabbed Preston’s coat. “No! Preston, I don’t want you giving up something you love doing. I swear to you, I won’t ever run again. I’m not going to say I won’t worry, but please don’t do that. Don’t walk away from something you’ve always dreamed of.”

Smiling, Preston ran the back of his hand down my face. “Harmony, you’re the only thing I’ve ever dreamed of. Besides, I’ve already lined up another job.”

Butterflies danced in my stomach as Preston’s words soaked in.
You’re the only thing I’ve ever dreamed of.

I prayed I wasn’t dreaming and that Preston was really here. Smiling, I asked, “Do you have to get back to your new job right away?”

Shaking his head, he gave me a naughty smile. “Nope.”

Reaching up on my toes, I brushed my lips across Preston’s as I bit his lower lip. “Good, because we have a lot of time to make up for.”

Giving me a naughty smile, Preston said, “Please tell me your place is close by.”

Smiling, I giggled as Preston kissed the tip of my nose. “The Hotel Nantucket is where I’m staying.”

Preston pulled his head back and looked at me with a stunned expression. “You’re shitting me. I’ve got a room there.”

Fate certainly has a way of working things out, and I was positive destiny had played its hand with Preston and me.

Taking my hands in his, Preston gave me the most gorgeous smile as my heartbeats increased tenfold. “It’s me and you forever, Harmony. There’s no way I could ever let you go…even if I wanted to. I’ll spend every day giving everything I have to you and only you.”

Tears built up as I stared into Preston’s eyes. I needed to do one last thing so that I could finally let go of the past to move on to the future.

“Will you help me do something?” I asked.

“Of course I will.”

Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the charm and held it in my hand. The charm had been my talisman as I grieved for my husband and son. It had comforted me, been my strength when I needed something to guide me. Now, it would set me free from the pain and guilt.

Preston ran his finger across the charm as my entire body shuddered. How did I luck out with such an amazing man?

“It’s time for me to let go of the past, so I can move on to the future. I thought I needed this charm to hold TJ and Trey close to my heart. I realized over these last few weeks I don’t need it. They will forever and always be in my heart.”

Preston closed my hand around the charm and something incredible moved between us. It was as if I could feel the power of my heart healing as it moved through my body. Looking into Preston’s eyes, I smiled. “I love you, Preston. Thank you for not giving up on me.”

Shaking his head, he whispered, “Never.” Taking my hand in his, we walked up to the water. Opening my hand, I looked at the charm. My heart felt heavy, but at the same time it felt like a weight was being lifted off my chest.

Squeezing my hand shut, I whispered, “I’ll forever love you both.”

Reaching back, I threw the charm as hard as I could. The moment it touched the water, I turned to Preston and cried as he held me tightly in his arms. I wasn’t sure how long we stood there before I felt someone pulling on my jacket. Looking down, I giggled when I saw the little girl from earlier.

“You found your prince,” she said with a huge smile spread across her face.