Searching for Harmony: A Boston Love Novel (17 page)

Pulling me to him, Preston moved his lips to my ear. “I’m okay, baby. I promise you, I’m okay.”

Holding him tighter, I said, “Please don’t go back in. Preston, promise me you won’t go back in!” My voice was laced with fear and panic.

Rubbing his hand up and down my back, Preston said, “I promise you, baby. I’m not going back in, but I do have to get back and help.” Pulling back and holding me out at arm’s length so he could look at me, he said, “Look into my eyes, Harmony.”

I did as he asked, and he smiled that smile that melted my heart. “I promise you. Do you believe me?”

Nodding, I said, “Yes.”

I wasn’t even sure how long I had been standing there watching the fire and keeping an eye on Preston. When another engine showed up to relieve Engine 37, I breathed out a sigh of relief. When a different police officer asked me if I needed a ride home, I shook my head and said no. “I live just a few blocks down Comm Avenue.”

Preston walked up to me and pulled me into his arms. He was covered in soot and smelled of smoke.

“I love you, Harmony.”

Feeling my heart ache again for the hundredth time that day, I forced myself to answer him back. “I love you, too, Preston. So very much.”

“I’ll be home in a few hours. Do you want to come to the station and wait, or are you going home?”

Swallowing hard, I said, “I’m going home. I’ll see you there? I mean, you’re done, right? You’re not going back in or—”

Placing his fingers on my lips, he said, “Shh. Harmony, I promise, I’ll be home soon.”

Nodding, I held onto his hand until he walked out of my reach. Turning, he headed back to the truck and my heart broke in two.

Again.

Walking back to my condo, I knew what I had to do to save my heart. By doing it, though, I also knew it was going to completely shatter my heart in the process.

Dragging in a deep breath, I opened the door to Harmony’s apartment and slowly walked in. I had sent her a text letting her know what time I’d be home.

“Harmony?”

“I’m in the kitchen.”

Letting out the breath I was holding, I headed to the kitchen. The small table in the nook was set with two plates, two glasses of wine, and candles. Harmony was reaching into the oven and pulling out lasagna. My mouth instantly began watering. Turning, she smiled but it didn’t touch her eyes.

“Hey.”

Smiling back, I leaned against the counter. “Hey.”

Swallowing hard, she looked around at all the food. There was lasagna, a huge salad, and a chocolate cream pie. “I didn’t make the pie but I know it’s your favorite.”

Grinning, I looked at her. “What’s with all of this? Are we celebrating Christmas a couple days early?”

Letting out a nervous chuckle, she shook her head. “It’s me being thankful that you’re okay. I was really…scared today.”

My heart broke as I watched her fight to hold back her tears. Walking around the island, I pulled her into my arms and held her while she cried.

“Shh, it’s okay, baby. I’m okay. Not a scratch on me.”

Grabbing onto my shirt, she pulled it as she made a fist and sobbed more into my chest. “I love you, Preston. Please know I love you so much.”

Placing my finger under her chin, I lifted her face up as I leaned over and kissed her. Picking her up, I carried her into the bedroom and gently slid her down my body.

Her eyes looked sad, empty almost, as I undressed her. Closing her eyes, she sucked in a breath as I ran my hands across her body. Opening her eyes, she lifted her hand and ran the back of it down the side of my face.

Goosebumps covered my body as Harmony undressed me. Her blue eyes finally burned with fire as she smiled.

Standing in front of each other naked, Harmony reached for my hands and brought me over to the bed, where she slowly lay down. Everything about this moment was beautiful. Kissing her from her ankle up to her lips, I took my time loving her. My hand moved down her body as I slipped my fingers between her legs and began working her into an orgasm. Arching her back, Harmony called out my name as I moved over her. Settling between her legs, I slowly pushed in as I kissed her. It wasn’t lost on me how she started crying. I was going to do whatever I could to let her know I was okay. That I would never leave her.

Wrapping her arms and legs around me, I slowly made love to Harmony as we whispered against each other’s lips how much we loved each other.

I pulled out of her, and Harmony rolled over as I pulled her onto my body. I hadn’t realized how tired I was until I began slowly drifting off to sleep. I held her close, afraid to let go of her.

Whispering against her bare back, I said, “Harmony, you’re forever mine.”

Her voice cracked as she said, “Forever yours, Preston.”

Sunlight beamed through the window as I rolled over and looked at the clock. Shit. It was nine thirty in the morning. Fuck. I must have needed that sleep. Sitting up, I looked around the room.

“Harmony?” I called out as I scrubbed my hands down my face.

Throwing my legs over the bed, I got up and made my way to the bathroom. Splashing my face with water, I wondered where Harmony had gone.

Heading back over to the dresser, I pulled open the top drawer and pulled out a pair of sleeping pants and a Boston Red Sox T-shirt. Slipping it over my head, I stopped and looked around. Fear and panic set in as I went downstairs and walked into the living room.

“Harmony? Baby, are you here?”

Silence.

Walking into the kitchen, I looked around. Harmony had put everything up. Glancing over at the table, I couldn’t help but notice the plates were still on the table. The candles had blown out but there was a piece of paper on the plate where I sat.

Swallowing hard, I walked over and picked it up. Unfolding it, I noticed my hands were shaking.

Dear Preston,

I’m so sorry to do this to you. I thought I was able to handle opening my heart again, but yesterday proved to me why I had built that wall around my heart.

I don’t know any other way to deal with all of this. Please know that I don’t want to leave you because I love you more than anything. I’ve never felt a love like this before and I don’t think I ever will again. I can’t tell you the countless times I’ve daydreamed of us getting married and starting a family together. The thought of losing you…I would rather die than lose you, too, Preston. I love you too much to ask you to give up something you have dreamed of since you were little. I would never ask you to pick.

You are the only person who has ever loved me so completely. Thank you for last night. I will treasure you and our love forever.

I love you,

Harmony

My whole body shook as I read the letter for the fourth time. Shaking my head, I dropped the letter and ran through the condo. Racing up the stairs, I screamed out for her.

“Harmony! Harmony, please don’t do this!
Harmony!
”

Running back to the kitchen, I looked for my cellphone. Grabbing it, I found Jake’s number and hit
CALL
. My heart felt as if it was being torn straight from my chest as I fought to drag in air.

“Hey, buddy, what’s going on?”

“She’s gone! Jake, where is she? You have to tell me. I won’t lose her. I can’t lose her! She’s my entire life!”

“Wait, what are you talking about? Preston, calm down. I can hardly understand you. Who’s gone?”

Closing my eyes, I doubled over as I dragged in a few deep breaths. “Harmony! She’s gone. She left me a note saying she couldn’t be with me anymore. She left!” Dropping to the floor, I cried out, “Jake, she left.”

“Are you at Harmony’s, Preston?”

Forcing air into my lungs, I barely whispered, “Yes.”

“Don’t leave. Sandy and I are on our way.”

Dropping my cellphone to the floor, I pushed my hands through my hair and looked up as I screamed, “Harmony! Come back to me!”

Sitting on the sofa, Sandy held my hand as Jake read Harmony’s letter again. Standing, he pushed his hand through his hair.

“Fuck!” Jake shouted, and Sandy jumped, not having expected Jake to yell out like he did.

Closing my eyes, I dropped my head back onto the sofa.

“I get that she freaked out about what happened to you yesterday, but I can’t see her leaving because of that,” Jake said.

Sandy dropped my hand as she stood up and walked over to Jake. “Jake, Harmony has suffered so much hurt and loss, I don’t think it’s too far-fetched to say Preston almost dying yesterday caused her to freak out.”

Letting out a sigh, I said, “I didn’t almost die.”

Turning, Sandy glared at me. “Preston. You were in a building that blew up. Harmony overheard them saying you were trapped. In her eyes, you almost died.”

Wiping a tear from my cheek, I turned to look out the window. This was my fault. I should have known my job probably scared her to death. Damn it. I should have known.

The doorbell rang. Everyone looked at one another before we all quickly ran over and hit the camera. There was an older couple standing there.

“Who in the hell are they?” I asked.

Jake shook his head as he said, “Dan and Anne. Trey’s parents. What the hell are they doing here?”

Hitting the button to let them in, Jake opened the door and waited for them to reach the top of the stairs. Stopping at the top of the stairs, they both looked at me, and then over to Jake and Sandy.

“Jake, how are you doing?” Dan asked before glancing back over at me.

“Um, Harmony isn’t here if you’re looking for her,” I said, trying to keep my voice sounding normal.

Clearing his throat, Dan nodded. “Well, I wasn’t sure if she would see us again or not.”

Pulling my head back in surprise, I asked, “Again? When did you see her?”

“Yesterday.”

My heart dropped. “Yesterday? When? What time were you here?”

Dan shook his head as he shot me a dirty look. “I’m sorry. You are?”

Jake stepped between us. “This is Harmony’s boyfriend.”

Anne gasped. “Oh no. Oh, Dan, I told you it wasn’t a good idea coming to see her.” Closing her eyes, she turned away from everyone.

Stepping around Jake, I asked again. “What time were you here yesterday?”

Dan shook his head as if trying to clear his thoughts. “Early afternoon. Around one.”

Looking at Jake, I said, “That was around when we went out on the call. It was before Harmony was there.”

Turning back to Trey’s parents, I cleared my throat. “What did you say to Harmony? Did you get her upset or talk about TJ and Trey?”

Looking down, Dan cleared his throat. “We did, we talked about Trey.”

Now Jake stepped forward. “What about him?”

“We felt it was best if Harmony knew the whole truth about the affair.” Anne started crying harder as she turned around and shook her head.

“I knew we should leave things alone. There was no reason we needed to tell her Trey had wanted a divorce.”

Sandy, Jake, and I all said at once, “What?”

Holding up his hands, Dan talked. “Wait just a second. Trey was going to ask her for a divorce, but the morning of the accident he called and said he was going to tell Harmony everything and try to work things out.”

My mouth dropped open. “Why would you tell her all of that? What possible reason did you have to tell her that?”

Swallowing hard, Dan looked at Anne. “I wanted her to know my son was a good man. He was going to do the right thing. The way Harmony left that afternoon at the office, all she knew was that Trey was cheating on her. He
was
going to try and make it work.”

Making my way over to Dan, I went to reach for him when Jake pulled me back. “You did this! You planted more hurt in her heart just to make yourselves feel better about your son! Damn it! Right when she was finally moving on, you had to show up!”

Sandy walked up to me and stood in front of me. “Preston, you’re upset. Calm down. We can’t find Harmony if you’re screaming and shouting.”

“Wait, Harmony is gone?” Anne asked with shock lacing her voice. It was then I realized how red and swollen her eyes were. Like she had been crying for hours.

Stepping away, I scrubbed my hands down my face and let out a frustrated moan.

“Yes, she left a note for Preston saying she couldn’t risk losing him. He’s a firefighter. There was a fire yesterday and somehow Harmony ended up there and found out Preston was in the building. It freaked her out.”

Sandy walked up to me and placed her hands on my arms. “Wait, this might explain why Harmony was there. She probably was heading to the fire station to see you after Trey’s parents left. She saw the fire and made her way there.”

Sitting down in the chair, I placed my head in my hands. “Fuck. Of all the times she had to show up on scene, it was yesterday.”

Jake started talking to Dan and Anne, asking them places where they thought Harmony might have gone. Neither of them had any clue.

“Was there anywhere that Harmony and Trey used to go as a couple? You know, like a special place she might have mentioned?” Sandy asked as she walked back over to Jake and Trey’s parents.

“No, not that I’m aware of. If we think of anything, though, we will be sure to call you, Jake.”

“Great, let me give you my cellphone number. If you think of anything, please call me right away.”

Jake walked Trey’s parents out as I stood at the window and looked out at the snow that was beginning to fall.

Harmony. Where are you?

Pulling up to the front of the hotel, I put the car in park. Opening the door, the valet gave me a smile and wink. I wanted to roll my eyes, but I smiled back politely.

“Are you staying with us this evening, ma’am?”

Nodding, I handed him my keys as I turned and opened the back door and grabbed my two bags.

“Allow me, ma’am,” the bellhop said as he took the bags from my hands. Following him into the hotel, I took a deep breath of ocean air. I was exhausted from driving and when it started snowing, I knew I had better find a place to stay and fast.

Making my way up to the front desk, I attempted to put on a smile. “Good afternoon. Welcome to the Nantucket Hotel and Resort. Do you have a reservation with us?”

Nodding, I pulled out my wallet and handed her my driver’s license as well as the American Express card my parents had given me a few months back. I swore I would never use it, but now I didn’t care. I knew my father’s company would pay the bill each month and never think twice about it.

The hotel clerk was typing away on her computer when she finally smiled. “Mrs. Banks. There you are.”

Giving her a weak smile, I said, “Ms. Banks.”

“Excuse me, I’ll make that correction right now. Have you stayed with us before, Ms. Banks?”

My stomach felt sick as I thought back to Trey asking me where I wanted to go on our honeymoon.

“Nantucket! I’ve always wanted to go there,” I said with a smile.

Laughing, Trey shook his head. “Nantucket? Hell, Harmony. We can go there anytime. Let’s go somewhere good. I mean, if my parents are footing the bill, let’s go all out. You know, once the baby is born we won’t be doing anything. We’ll be tied down with working and going to school.”

Shrugging my shoulders, I said, “I guess so. Where do you want to go?”

Trey picked me up and spun around. “Cancún! I’ve already had my father’s secretary make all the travel plans. I can’t wait to see you in a bathing suit.”

Forcing a smile, I wrapped my arms around Trey and buried my face in his neck.

“Cancún sounds perfect,” I said.

“Ms. Banks?”

Shaking my head to clear away the memory, I let out a small chuckle. “Sorry, daydreaming. Um, no, I’ve never stayed here before. I’ve never been to Nantucket.”

Giving me a polite smile, she looked back down at the screen. “Oh, I see you’ll be staying in our Point Suite room. And it looks like you’re here for at least a month.”

Glancing up at me, she waited for my response. “Yes. Until I can figure out some things, I’ll be here for a bit.”

“Well, Christmas on Nantucket is beautiful.”

My heart broke at the thought of not spending Christmas with Preston. “I’m looking forward to it.”

After collecting a bit more information, the front desk clerk handed back my license and credit card. Handing me the key card to my room, she gave me some additional instructions for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Glancing around the hotel lobby, I smiled at all the Christmas decorations. My heart instantly hurt when I thought of Christmas without TJ.

Following the bellhop to the elevator, I forced myself to breathe in and out. Once I was in my room, I tipped him and shut the door. Walking into the room, I took a look around. The room was large, with a small kitchen to my right and a king-sized bed to my left. In front of me was a small sitting and dining area. Beyond that were French doors that led to a balcony.

I opened the curtains to reveal a gorgeous view of the ocean. It didn’t take long for my legs to give out and for me to fall to the floor in a jumbled, crying mess. Lying there, I buried my face in my hands and whispered his name, over and over.

“Preston.”

Rolling over, my eyes adjusted to the small amount of light coming through the crack in the curtains. I sat up and threw my legs over the side of the bed and stretched. I had pretty much stayed in my room for the last two days, and I hadn’t stepped outside once. Today was my first Christmas alone.

No watching TJ rip open his presents, or Jake trying to guess what I got him. I closed my eyes and wondered if Preston had found the wrapped gifts in the hall closet.

Glancing down at my phone, I picked it up as I got up and headed for the kitchen. Grabbing the jar of Nutella and a spoon, I dragged in a deep breath as I looked down at my phone. I had turned it off the morning I left Boston. Chewing on my lower lip, I debated if I should turn it on. Letting out a sigh, I turned it on and watched as it booted up.

Sucking in a deep breath, I saw I had over a hundred text messages. As I opened them up, tears formed in my eyes when I saw seventy-three of them were from Preston. Twenty were from my brother and six were from Anne.

Closing out my messages, I opened my voicemail. Call after call was from Preston. I didn’t dare listen to them. I opened my messages again and hit Jake’s name.

Me:
I’m okay. I need some time alone to figure things out.

It wasn’t even thirty seconds later and Jake was texting me back.

Big Brother:
Harmony! Thank God. Please call Preston! He is freaking out.

Me:
Please tell him I love him. I can’t talk to him right now.

Big Brother:
Sis, I’m begging you to call him. He’s a mess. He has been going to the pub every night after driving around Boston looking for you. Harmony, you are destroying him by not calling.

Closing my eyes, Preston’s words from the first time we made love flooded my mind.
Harmony, you destroyed me,.

Closing my eyes, I fought to hold back my sobs.

Me:
Jake, please. I need some time to think.

Big Brother:
About what? If you would just give him a chance. Harmony, I know how much you love him. Don’t walk away from this.

Me:
I’ve got to go. I love you, Jake. Merry Christmas. Kiss Sandy.

After hitting
SEND
, I quickly turned my phone back off. Setting it on the table, I decided to go exploring. Almost everything would be closed today, but that was okay. I needed to walk and clear my mind.

Jumping into the shower, I quickly washed my hair and soaped up. My mind drifted to Preston making love to me in the shower. Pushing those thoughts away, I turned off the shower, dried off, and got dressed. Pulling my wet hair up, I put on my New York Yankees baseball cap.

Taking another look around the room, I grabbed my phone and shoved it into my purse. As I walked toward the elevator, I watched as a little boy ran up and quickly pushed the button for down. His mother and father were right behind him.

“Sorry, he loves to push the button,” the mom said in a tender voice.

Smiling, I said, “No worries. I don’t mind at all.”

Stepping into the elevator, I watched as the dad picked up the little boy and began telling him a story. Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes and got lost in a memory of TJ.

When I felt a tugging on my pants, I looked down to see TJ holding up his favorite book with that smile that melted my heart.

“You want a story, big guy?”

Laughing and jumping up and down, TJ yelled out, “Tory time! Tory time, Mommy!”

Reaching for his hand, I walked him into the living room and we snuggled up on the sofa together as I read his favorite book to him. Standing up, TJ wrapped his arms around my neck as he kissed me on the cheek.

“I wuv you, Mommy.”

“Miss? Um, are you getting off on the ground floor? Miss?”

Snapping out of my memory, I jumped and let out an awkward laugh. “Yes, sorry, I was lost in thought.”

Giving me a polite smile, the mother nodded and said, “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas,” I said back as I watched the young family walk away.

Forcing the tears back down, I turned and headed for the boardwalk. Maybe a walk on the beach would help clear my head. Making my way down to the beach, I happened to notice someone else walking ahead of me. Not paying too much attention, I turned left and he turned right. Wrapping my coat tightly around me, I pulled the baseball cap down farther as I lifted the hood of my coat over it and pulled the ties down, hoping to block out some of the wind. Sitting down, I looked out over the ocean.

I smiled, letting the sound of the waves clear my mind as I fell back onto the sand and closed my eyes and quickly got lost in another memory.

“Well, damn! Look at you, hot momma!”

Spinning around in the two-piece bathing suit, I giggled as Trey’s eyes moved over my body. His eyes landed on my stomach, where my five-months-pregnant belly was taking center stage.

“Jesus, Harmony. You’re looking fucking hot in that swimsuit.”

Feeling my cheeks flush, I looked away. “Really? I feel kind of funny in it.”

Walking up to me, Trey placed his hands on my stomach and leaned over and kissed it. Standing back up, he looked into my eyes. “Nah, you look beautiful.” My heart felt as if it skipped a beat.

I was about to say something when I felt a flutter in my stomach. Almost like gas moving through.

Taking hold of my hands, Trey led me out to the beach. We were just steps away from the water, and we even had our own private cabana. Laying a blanket on the sand, Trey pulled me down to sit next to him. Laughing, I looked out over the crystal-blue water. Glancing over at Trey, I wanted to ask him if he was happy. We both knew we were probably getting married for the wrong reason, but there was no doubt about us loving each other. Now we had something in common that would forever tie us together. Feeling the flutter again, I placed my hand on my stomach and fell back onto the sand.

There it went again. Then it hit me.
Oh. My. Goodness. The baby is moving.

Letting out a giggle, I turned to look at Trey, who was lying back as well, with his eyes closed. “Trey?”

“Yep?”

“The baby just moved.”

Sitting up, Trey looked down at me. “What?”

Nodding, I said, “Yep. She’s moved about four times now.”

Standing up, Trey reached down and pulled me up. Lifting me in his arms, he spun me around before setting me back down. “Wait one second. She?”

Giggling, I nodded. “Or he.”

Smiling, Trey placed his hand over my stomach. “I can’t wait to feel him…or her.”

Setting my hand over his, our eyes met. Trey smiled as he took my hand and led me into the cabana, where we made love to the sounds of the ocean waves crashing on the shore.

“Ms. Banks? Are you in need of a blanket?”

Opening my eyes, I shielded them from the sun as I looked up at the bellhop who had brought up my bags the other day. Sitting up, I smiled and shook my head. “No, thank you. I’m about to head back in.”

Nodding, he turned and headed back up toward the hotel. Standing, I brushed the sand from my pants and walked back toward the boardwalk. In the distance I saw a lighthouse. Stopping, I stared at it as I pulled the charm out of my pocket and looked down at it.

Everything happens for a reason.

Closing my eyes, I put the charm back in my pocket and looked over at the lighthouse again. “The Great Point Lighthouse. It’s amazing to see in person.”

Jumping at the sound of a male voice, I spun around to see an older gentleman standing there. It was the same guy I had seen walking in front of me earlier.

Holding up his hands, he laughed. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s okay. I’ll…um, make a note to head over and check it out.”

Nodding, he gave me a polite smile and headed back to the hotel.

Watching him walk up the boardwalk, I couldn’t help but think about the emptiness I’d seen in his eyes when he talked to me. I wondered if that was what people saw when they looked into my eyes.

As the older man walked into the hotel, I let out a sigh and began walking up the boardwalk. Once I was inside, I glanced around and saw nothing but couples and families. Smiling slightly, I made my way into the hotel café.

The hostess smiled. “Table for how many?”

Holding up one finger, I said, “One.”

As she walked me into the restaurant, I saw the older man sitting alone in the corner. At least I wasn’t the only one spending Christmas Day alone.