Seaside Sunsets (22 page)

“I’m fine. Go. I’ll take Vera home.”

Jamie folded her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. “You sure you’re okay to drive?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. I’ll come by afterward if you’re not asleep.”

It was all she could do to nod her head.

THERE WAS A time when hanging out at the Beachcomber would be a five-hour, enjoyable affair, but Jamie had been there for two hours with Mark and his other friends, and it felt like two hours too long. He’d tried texting and calling Jessica, but her phone went to voicemail.

“Why don’t you go see how she’s doing?” Bella asked. “And tell her I’m totally bummed that she’s sick, and that we’ll table our chunky-dunking for another night.”

“Hey, hey, hey.” Mark tapped the table. “Let the man enjoy life a little. He needs to blow off some steam.”

Blow off steam?
That was the last thing he needed to do. How had he ever overlooked all the things about Mark that were rubbing him the wrong way? What he needed was to know that Jessica was okay. He never should have left her in the first place.

He glanced around the table at his friends. Caden and Bella were forehead to forehead, whispering. Leanna was sitting on Kurt’s lap, as she almost always was, and Jenna was dragging Pete onto the dance floor. Pete rolled his eyes in Jamie’s direction, but the light in Pete’s eyes gave away the truth. He was so in love with Jenna that he’d do anything for her. Amy was texting someone, probably her new beau, Jake, and Tony hadn’t even come out tonight.
Self-preservation
, he’d told Jamie. Jamie hadn’t bothered to ask what he’d meant by that.  And then there was Mark, eyeing every woman in the place.

What the hell was he doing here? He should be with Jessica. He didn’t want a drink, and he certainly didn’t want to dance without her. Hell, he needed to be with her, and he could tell by the look in her eyes earlier that she’d needed him just as badly as he needed her. But, as usual, he’d allowed himself to be swayed by Mark.

Enough was enough.

Jamie pushed away from the table. “I’m taking off. Mark, thanks for driving out tonight. Are you okay to drive back to your hotel?”

Mark waved a dismissive hand, avoiding Jamie’s gaze. “Yeah, fine, fine.”

Amy eyed Jamie. “Can you give me a ride back?”

“Sure.” He draped an arm around Amy and said goodbye to the others.

“You okay, Ames?” he asked on the way to the car.

“Yeah. This is just a weird summer.” Amy was like a sister to Jamie. As much as he didn’t want to get involved with whatever was or wasn’t going on between her and Tony, he could tell by the drag of her voice that she needed an ear to bend.

“Tony?” Of course it was about him.

Amy shrugged.

He opened the car door for her, then settled into the driver’s seat. “What’s happening with Jake?”

“Jake.” She smiled and rested her head back. “He’s amazing. Did I tell you he’s a mountain rescue guy? Really rugged and sexy. He’s so nice, and always a gentleman.” She turned and looked at Jamie with a sigh. “He’s also twenty-eight and probably way too wild for me in the long run.”

Jamie took the back roads up toward Seaside. “Too wild?” He glanced at Amy. Her head was still back, and her hair hung straight, past her shoulders. She wore a pair of white shorts and a pretty blue crinkled cotton top. Her skin was tanned and flawless. She was smart and generous to a fault. He had no idea why she was still single. Then again, he had no idea why Jessica was still single either.

“I’m wild, don’t get me wrong. I’m a fun-loving girl, even if I’m not as loud about it as everyone else,” Amy assured him.

“Oh, I know you are,” he said with an arched brow. She was about as wild as a lily.

She swatted his arm. “I am! I may not be able to hold my liquor, or be as dirty mouthed as Bella, but I am wild in my own way.”

“Amy, is that what you think guys want? Wild women?” He couldn’t believe he was having this conversation with Amy, but she was so damned sweet, she’d get eaten alive if she told men she was wild—even if she had a secret wild side like Jessica did.

“Well, don’t they?” She furrowed her brow and spoke softly. “Jamie, I know I’m the good girl of the group. I can’t help it. I just am. But, you know, all women have other sides to them.”

“Amy, you are sweet, and yes, you’re a good girl, and smart, funny, beautiful. You’re everything the right guy will look for. Guys talk about wanting wild women, but those aren’t the women they marry. Those are like, I don’t know, something to say you’ve had.”

She covered her face with her hands and groaned as they pulled into Seaside. “So then it’s just hopeless. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be, but obviously being me isn’t working out so well in the guy department.”

Jamie parked the car and turned to Amy. “Amy, I’ve got to be honest with you. If Jessica was a wild woman in public, I’d never have dated her, and I highly doubt Caden, or Kurt, or Pete would have gotten serious with Bella, Leanna, or Jenna if they had been either. Bella’s not wild; she’s brazen. There’s a difference. At the end of the day, she’s stable, loving, and head over heels for Caden and Evan. Younger guys like wild. Guys our age like to keep our wild moments with our women private, and I think wild’s the totally wrong word. I can’t speak for all men, but I think most guys want a woman who’s not afraid of taking control in the bedroom or to be seductively sexy when you’re on a date.  You know what I mean—privately passionate, but even keeled the rest of the time. Flirty with us, maybe, but just us. No guy wants to worry about what his woman’s doing when he’s not around.”

“Really? You’re not just saying that because it’s me?”

Her eyes were so serious and her words were so full of worry that he reached out and hugged her. “
You
are amazing just as you are. The right guy is going to come along, and you’ll realize that all this worry was for nothing. Amy, is this all about Tony, or did Jake make you feel this way?”

She sighed. “No. It’s about me. I’m always the friend, never the girlfriend. Do you know that I can count the men I’ve been intimate with on one hand? Lame, right?”

He thought of Jessica and how good it had felt when they’d finally come together—and the conflicting emotions of her having been with only one other man. She’d given herself over to him so completely, and continued to on a daily basis. The fact that she’d waited until it felt right to be with a man made everything about her that much more special. Some women used sex for power, others to make up for whatever daddy love they never received. Jessica had waited because in her heart it had felt like the right thing to do, and Jamie respected that because he’d done the same thing with his feelings. He’d kept them trapped inside him until the right woman came along. And he had no doubt that Jessica was that woman.

“Honestly, Amy, I think it speaks volumes about your self-worth. That’s a good thing. Don’t ever let anyone convince you otherwise.” He came around the car and opened her door.

Amy wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. “You’re such a good friend, Jamie. Thank you for not telling me I’m a loser.”

He laughed. “You’re not a loser, and don’t worry. The right man will love you just as you are.”

“I keep hoping the right man will realize that I’m the right woman.” She shifted her eyes to Tony’s cottage.

After making sure Amy got inside okay and then checking on Vera, who was fast asleep, Jamie grabbed clean clothes, penned a note for Vera telling her he’d be back in the morning, and headed over to Jessica’s apartment.

Jessica’s apartment was dark, but Jamie heard the faintest music playing inside. He knocked lightly on the door, and a few minutes later the door opened a crack. Jessica was looking down, and he couldn’t see her face.

“Hey, sorry I’m so late.”

She opened the door, eyes trained on the floor. Jamie followed her in and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

“How are you feeling?”

She shrugged.

“Babe, why aren’t you talking to me? Are you that sick?” He turned her in his arms, and his stomach plunged. Her eyes were swollen and red, her nose was bright pink, and her lower lip was trembling.

“Jess? What happened?” He pulled her against his chest.

She fisted her hands in his shirt, and her body trembled. He realized she was still crying. He gathered her in his arms and carried her to the couch, and held her, safely enveloped against him, as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Jessie, what can I do? What happened?”

She shook her head, and he stroked her back, hoping to soothe whatever ache she had.

“Did something happen to your father? A friend?”

Again she shook her head.

Jessica sucked in a jagged lungful of air and lifted her head from his tear-soaked shirt. The minute their eyes met, she burst into tears again.

“Shh. Whatever it is, it’s okay. I’ll take care of it. We’ll get through it together.” He stroked her back, while his own chest tightened with worry. He surveyed the apartment for clues about what was going on. Her cello was propped against the wall in the corner; her laptop and phone were on the table. The small kitchen was tidy, and he had a clear view into the bedroom, and other than the bed being rumpled, everything was in its place. The sounds of her sniffling and the feel of her trembling against him made his gut clench tight.

“Jess, please tell me why you’re upset.”

She pushed away from his chest again.

Jamie wiped her tears with his thumbs.

“It’s okay. Whatever it is, I’ll take care of it.”

“I’m…sorry.” A lone tear accompanied her whisper.

“Jessie, don’t be sorry. It’s okay to cry. I just want to help fix whatever’s wrong.”

She nodded and wiped her eyes. “I’m afraid to tell you, but I want to.”

“Tell me what? You can tell me anything.” He searched her eyes and saw so much worry and sadness that he couldn’t imagine what was causing her so much pain.

“I’ll tell you, but you have to promise me to be one hundred percent honest, even if it’ll hurt me.”

He cupped her beautiful cheek, his chest tight and his heart in his throat. He wished he knew what the hell was going on. He had nothing to hide from her, and to think she was this upset over something about him knocked the wind out of him.

“I promise. I’ll always be honest with you. Always.”

She shifted her body so she could sit up straighter and inhaled deeply. She pressed her lips together and nodded, as if she were nodding to herself, telling herself she was okay. Her eyes fell to his chest again.

He was ready to crawl out of his skin with worry.

“Baby, please,” he whispered.

“Tonight, after the concert was over and you were helping Vera…” She drew in another uneven breath. He felt her fingers grip his shirt. “Mark said…”

His body flashed hot. His muscles constricted.
Mark? Motherfucking Mark caused this?
He clenched his jaw to keep from raising his voice.

“What did Mark say to you?”

She swallowed hard but held his stare. “He said that…” Her breath hitched and she swallowed again, then gripped his shirt—and chest—tighter. Her jaw began to tremble again.

“He said that you’re just playing around with me and that you can have any woman you want. That I’m no different from any other woman you’ve been with and if I don’t want to be responsible for the demise of your career, I should back off.”

She spoke so fast it took him a minute to process what she’d said. Breathing harder as understanding dawned on him, he was powerless against the rage that filled his veins. His hands fisted and his biceps flexed. Without a word, he lifted Jessica off of him and set her on the couch.

“Jamie?” Tears streaked her cheeks as she huddled on the couch, looking small and fragile and so damned broken it killed him.

Every muscle tensed. Fire seared his veins, but beneath that rage was his love for Jessica, and it battled the anger. He was afraid to touch her, afraid to get too close for fear that his anger toward Mark might move him to act too roughly.

“I’ll be back.” Blinded by anger, he moved for the door. He had to fix this shit, had to get to Mark and beat the living shit out of him for hurting Jessica—for putting any doubt in her beautiful mind.

“Jamie, wait!” She scrambled off the couch and followed him out to the deck. “Wait. Is it true? Was this all a game to you?”

“A game? Is that what you think? Do I act like it’s a game?”
A fucking game? This is anything but a game
.

“No, but—”

He stilled, his gut burning. “But?”

“I
am
a distraction. I know I am, so the most important part is true,” she whispered with a trembling voice. “I could cause you trouble in your business. I could make you fail.”

He closed his eyes to try to gain control of the storm brewing inside him. When he turned to face her, she looked impossibly small and scared, like a wounded bird. And goddamn Mark was the one who’d wounded her—and it was Jamie’s fault. He’d left her alone with a shark. What the hell had he been thinking?

“You’re not a distraction.” He hated that his teeth were clenched and his face was probably red, but the words were true, even if the emotions putting them forth were misconstrued. He wanted to hold her until she knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that he loved her—but he was incapable of being gentle at the moment. This was the best he could do. “You’re the woman I love. The only failure was mine, for letting him near you.”

JAMIE SPED DOWN Route 6 and was at the Sheraton in less than five minutes. He cut the engine and gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles turned white, wondering what the fuck he’d been thinking to let Mark anywhere near Jessica. He had too much fucking faith in Mark; that much was clear. His muscles corded tight, frustration brought his fist down on the dashboard, once, twice, three times—and after he’d cracked the damn thing—a fourth.

“Motherfucker,” he seethed.

More than ten years of friendship, and this was how Mark paid him back?

His eyes dropped to the stone on the ring on his right hand.
Black
.
Nothingness
.
Angst so deep you can’t push your way out of it
. He breathed heavily, his chest aching with anger and love and all the out-of-control emotions in between. He stormed from the car and into the hotel, nearly blasting through the glass doors that opened so damn slowly he wanted to shatter them. He blew past the reception desk, oblivious to the greeting of the woman behind it, and stalked down the hall, head bowed, blinded with rage.