Seasons of Sorrow (20 page)

Charlotte typed,
Perfect. I’ll meet you there.

See u at 6.

Somehow, Charlotte managed to focus on her work until five. She walked out to the parking lot with Laura and waved good-bye to her assistant as she got into her car and headed toward the restaurant. The place was busy, even for early on a Tuesday, probably because they had $4 happy hour drinks and they were not only good, they were strong.

Charlotte walked into the restaurant and stood at the hostess desk, smoothing her dress down her hips.

“Charlotte?”

She turned to find Greg staring down at her. His eyes went from the top of her head to the nude peep-toe pumps on her feet and back again. As he looked her over, Charlotte felt her skin tingle. The feeling was foreign. Greg had never inspired that kind of feeling in her before. What made her even more off-balance was the fact that she liked the sensation his perusal evoked.

“Hi, Greg.”

“Your hair….wow, it’s short.” He acted as though he wanted to say something else but the words never came out.

Charlotte’s brows drew together in a frown. “Yes, it is.”

Greg must have realized how rude his words seemed because he said, “It looks great on you. It just surprised me.” His eyes wandered down her body in a way they had never done before and the tingles on her skin coalesced in her nipples and between her thighs.

A sweat broke out on her palms.

“How many this evening?”

She turned to find the hostess watching them with a politely expectant smile on her face.

Charlotte cleared her throat. “Just two.” She knew her voice sounded husky. She only hoped that Greg didn’t notice.

As they followed the young woman to a table and sat, it was obvious that Greg heard the change in her voice because his eyes were both guarded and hot at the same time. The hostess left menus with them and disappeared with a smile.

“Now that I’m getting over the shock, I think that this is the prettiest you’ve ever looked. Between the new haircut and that dress, you take my breath away.”

Charlotte’s own breathing stuttered at Greg’s compliments. It had been too many years since someone said sweet things to her. Derek’s flattery and adoration had petered out after the first year of their marriage, probably around the time he started screwing around on her.

She knew she was probably blushing bright pink, but Charlotte forced herself to look at the menu rather than Greg. “Thank you. Can we please talk about something else?”

Greg chuckled under his breath. “You never could take a compliment, but, yes, we can talk about something else.”

They sat in companionable silence for a few moments, both studying the menu, even though Charlotte was sure they would end up ordering the same things they always did.

“So what inspired the new look?” Greg asked.

She set her menu down and gave him a look.

“What?” he asked, trying to look innocent, but failing miserably.

“I thought we were changing the subject,” she said pointedly.

He shrugged. “I kind of did. I’m holding back all the flattery on the tip of my tongue, barely, so I think that counts.”

Despite her irritation, Charlotte smirked. Greg always somehow managed to annoy and amuse her simultaneously. And he did it very well.

“Fine,” she said. “After this weekend, I realized that, not only did I not know who I was any longer, what I did know, I didn’t like. Until the last few years, I have never been a doormat or weak. I may be quiet and sometimes even shy, but I was never afraid. Not like I became while I was with Derek. I became afraid of disagreements, confrontation, and disappointing others. I’m tired of feeling that way.”

Greg nodded. “I understand.”

One look at his face and Charlotte knew he was being sincere and that he did indeed understand. She started to say something but their waiter approached the table at that moment.

“Good evening. My name is Raoul. What would you like to drink?”

Charlotte ordered a glass of ice water and a margarita on the rocks. Greg ordered the same, only he wanted his margarita frozen. Considering how strong the bartender liked to make the drinks, Charlotte decided she would have only one. The change in Greg’s behavior toward her threw her off enough. She didn’t need alcohol to make it worse.

After their waiter left, Charlotte made another effort to change the subject. Making a show of looking at her menu, she asked, “What do you think you’ll have?

“I’m sure I’ll get the same thing I always get.” His index finger tapped the top of her menu. “Char, look at me.”

She met his eyes and immediately saw that he had banked the heat that appeared in them earlier and he was looking at her the way he always did before.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I understand what it’s like to be sick of playing a part and pretending to be someone you’re not. Now that you know everything, it’s hard for me to play the same part.”

Charlotte wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to, that he could let all those emotions show, but she wasn’t sure she could handle it. The way he looked at her earlier made her feel stripped bare and started an inferno beneath her skin. It was unsettling to realize that he could do that to her with only a look. What freaked her out even more was the knowledge that she had been too blind to see even a glimmer of this over the last ten years.

“I’m sorry, Greg. I don’t want you to feel as though you can’t be honest, but, please, give me a little time to get used to it. Can you try to pull back a bit for now?” she asked.

His face got tight. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, Charlie.”

She smiled weakly. “I’m not uncomfortable, Greg. I…” she trailed off, searching for the right words. “It’s like waking up one morning and realizing that you’ve been living your life upside down while the rest of the world walks around right side up. Everything that I thought I knew or felt has been a lie. I need time to get used to the new reality.”

He smiled slightly at her analogy. “I think I understand. It’s hard for me to be patient. I’ve been waiting for you for ten years, Charlotte. Every time I tried to move on, it never worked out. I know it was preparation for this.”

Charlotte didn’t have a chance to respond. Even if she had, she had no clue how to respond to that. Raoul came back with their drinks and she took a healthy sip of her margarita.

“Have you decided what you would like this evening or do you need more time?” the waiter asked pleasantly.

Greg ordered the beef and chicken fajitas, as he usually did, and Charlotte ordered her favorite, chicken smothered in a creamy mushroom sauce. After the waiter walked away, she took another large drink of her margarita. She didn’t want to get drunk, but her mouth and lips were bone dry. Even after that sip, she had to lick her bottom lip because it felt parched.

Greg’s eyes went directly to her mouth and stayed there. Charlotte had to give him a great deal of credit. All those years of only being her friend, he managed to hide the way he felt. He wasn’t bothering to hide any longer. The longing on his face made Charlotte’s heart ache.

“Greg.” She had to stop and clear her throat. Her voice was deeper, yet breathy, and sounded like an invitation. She watched as his pupils dilated, but managed to regain her focus. “I don’t know if I can return your feelings.”

His eyes wandered from her mouth to her throat. Reflexively, Charlotte swallowed. Slowly, his eyes went even lower and she knew that her nipples were hardening under his gaze. Even though she wore a lightly padded bra, she was sure he could see them because he lifted his stare to look into her eyes.

“I don’t think that will be an issue, Charlotte,” he said quietly. “Even if your mind isn’t ready to accept it, your body already has.”

Suddenly, the air-conditioned restaurant felt like a sauna. Charlotte felt a bead of sweat gather behind her ear and slowly slide down the side of her neck to her collarbone.

“Okay, fine, Greg. You are an extremely attractive man. I would have to be blind not to see that over the last ten years, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to make a transition like that with you. Just because I have a physical reaction to you, doesn’t mean that I have to act on it.”

Her desperate remark must have hit a nerve because Greg flinched. Charlotte immediately felt horrible as she watched his face close down.

She couldn’t leave it like that. “Greg, I’m sorry. I didn’t say that well. I just mean that I can’t lose you. If I lost your friendship, I don’t know if I could make it without going insane. You and Brandy are the only ones who have kept me from slitting my wrists this year. I am truly afraid that if we try to take things into a different level, I will lose you.”

With each word she spoke, the light returned to Greg’s eyes. When she was through, her chest was heaving with the emotions she tried to hold back. If she let go, she would be sobbing in the middle of the restaurant. He leaned forward and gently wrapped his fingers around her hand, cradling her palm against his.

The contact both comforted her and made the nerve endings in her arm shimmer with awareness, as though she were touching something with a mild electric current running through it.

“It’s okay, Char. I don’t want to lose you either. Right now, you’re in a place where it is difficult for you to trust anyone, but you
can
trust me when I say that I will not hurt you or leave you. What I feel for you is real and, if I were going to leave, I would have done it years ago.”

Charlotte nodded and took a deep breath. Greg released her hand as the waiter brought out their food.

At first, she only picked at her chicken, but Greg drew her attention when he sighed and put down his fork.

“Charlotte, we’re just having dinner. I want to spend the evening with you, talking like we usually do. Is that what you want too?” he asked.

She nodded hesitantly.

“Then let’s just talk. Forget about the rest of it and just be my friend tonight.”

She nodded again and took a bite of her chicken, searching for something to say, then she remembered she hadn’t told him where she had been earlier.

“Did I tell you where I went today?” she asked.

When he shook his head, she began to tell him about her trip to the FBI field office in Dallas. His eyes hardened when she told him why she had gone there, but soon he was smiling a little as she described the labyrinth Agent Bray had led her through.

“I would never get any work done,” she joked. “I would spend half the day just trying to find my office!”

After she finished her story, the conversation flowed more easily. They finished their dinner and drinks as the restaurant went from busy to packed. Charlotte was surprised so many people were out for dinner on a Tuesday, but it soon became so loud that they could barely talk without yelling.

“I think it’s time to go,” Greg said loudly.

Charlotte nodded her agreement. She started to reach into her purse for her wallet.

“Don’t even think about it, Charlie,” Greg said forcefully.

She sighed and put her purse down. Greg signaled Raoul and paid the tab. He stood and pulled her chair back so she could stand. They walked out of the restaurant together. The heat of the day had sunk into the pavement and radiated from the dark surface. Immediately, Charlotte started sweating.

“Where’s your car?” Greg asked.

Charlotte pointed to the parking lot around the corner from Gloria’s.

“I’ll walk you,” he said.

She didn’t bother to argue because she knew it would be useless. Greg always wanted to be sure she got to her car safely, something Derek never did when they were together. He always treated her as though she could take care of herself. Greg never acted as though she were a child, but he was solicitous. He made sure to help her into and out of her chair. He opened doors for her. And he always walked her to her car whenever they went out together.

Brandy called it old-fashioned chivalry, and Charlotte supposed that it was true. She knew it drove Brandy nuts because her friend was independent from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. But Charlotte appreciated it when a man tried to take care of her. It made her feel special, cherished.

They walked to her car in silence and she used her remote to unlock the doors as they approached the driver’s side. She opened the door and tossed her purse in the passenger seat. Turning around, she faced Greg again.

“I’m glad we did this. I need to get out of that house more often,” she said.

Greg was standing close, looking down at her, his eyes watchful. “Me too. I’ve missed spending time with you.”

Charlotte smiled slightly. “Want to do something later this week? Maybe you, me, and Brandy?”

He smiled back and suddenly seemed much closer. “That sounds great. Maybe bowling or pool?”

She rolled her eyes. He always wanted to do things that she never would choose to do on her own. And she always enjoyed them. “Fine.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll figure out which.”

She nodded. “I’ll call Brandy and see when she’s free.”

Suddenly, Charlotte didn’t just think that Greg was closer, he was closer. He stood over her, his body near enough that she could feel the heat radiating off his skin. Her breath caught in her chest. His head dipped down and she couldn’t decide if she wanted to stop him or raise up on her toes so that their lips met more quickly. Instead, she stood stock still as his lips touched her cheek lightly near the corner of her mouth.

“Night, Charlotte.”

“Good night, Greg. I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” she said as she climbed into the driver’s seat, her legs shaking.

As she backed out of the parking space and drove away, she saw that he stood in the middle of parking lot and watched her car until she was out of sight. Deep inside she couldn’t decide if she was pleased or disappointed that he hadn’t kissed her. For all her talk that she wasn’t ready for more than friendship, Charlotte felt that kiss on her cheek the entire drive home.

After she pulled into her garage, Charlotte let her head fall forward into the steering wheel. There was one upside to this whole mess. While she was so confused and confounded by Greg and the things he made her feel, she wouldn’t be worrying about Derek’s betrayal. She only hoped she could figure out what to do before it was too late and they both got hurt.