Seasons of Sorrow (8 page)

March, 2003

“H
urry up, Charlotte! You’re going to make us late,” Brandy complained.

Charlotte stopped brushing mascara on her lashes to glance at her friend. “Brandy, seriously, I’m not sure about this. I’m awkward and I don’t want to make you and Greg uncomfortable on your date.”

Her friend scoffed. “You spend too much time with your nose in a book, Charlie. You need to get out and socialize more. And don’t worry about being awkward. You know Greg and I love hanging out with you. Besides, we aren’t dating any more.”

Charlotte wasn’t sure she believed it, but Brandy was insistent. “I’ve never been on a blind date before,” she said.

Brandy waved a hand. “It’s not a date, Charlie. Derek didn’t have plans this weekend so he’s just tagging along.”

It was Charlotte’s turn to scoff. Brandy and Greg spent a lot of time together, and she doubted it was because they were just friends. Plus Brandy talked about what a great kisser Greg was all the time. She was surprised they hadn’t slept together yet. Her roommate wasn’t promiscuous, but she also wasn’t a virgin. It was their junior year and Brandy had two serious boyfriends and a few not-so-serious boyfriends in the three years they had been at University of Texas.

Brandy rolled her eyes. “Just finish getting ready, dammit. We’re definitely going to be late now.”

Ten minutes later, she finally finished up. When she came out of her room, Charlotte saw Greg and a man she didn’t know sitting on the couch in the living room. They were both so handsome it made her tummy flutter. That tummy flutter always got her in trouble because she never knew what to do or say and unerringly managed to choose the worst possible topic.

Brandy turned from her seat on the coffee table. “Great! You’re ready. I’m starving.” She stood, all long legs and gorgeous curves.

The guys stood with her, both looking at Charlotte, which made her even more uncomfortable.

“Um, hi, Greg.” Charlotte bit her lip and gathered her courage. She looked at the man next to Greg and held out a hand. “I’m Charlotte. You must be Derek, it’s nice to meet you.” There, no awkward pause and she said exactly what she intended.

Derek’s smile was charming and his grip firm and warm. “It’s great to meet you, Charlotte. I’ve heard a lot about you from Greg.”

Charlotte’s eyes flitted over to Greg and she blushed slightly. She didn’t understand why he might talk about her. He was Brandy’s boyfriend, not hers, and he was beautiful, way out of her league, and not just because of his looks. Greg had confidence in spades, something she lacked completely.

She realized Derek was still holding her hand. Hoping he wouldn’t get offended, she removed her hand as quickly as possible. He was almost as handsome as Greg, something that made her twitchy.

Brandy stepped in. “Okay, boys. Where are we going for dinner? Us girls need to keep our strength up.”

Greg started to speak but Derek interrupted. “How about Crown and Anchor?”

Charlotte bit her lip and looked up at him. She smiled tentatively. “Okay.”

She glanced at Brandy, who nodded her agreement. Greg did as well, though his jaw was strangely tight.

They all piled into Greg’s car, Brandy and Greg in the front, Charlotte and Derek in the back, and were off. The pub was crowded when they arrived, full of other college students their age. Somehow Derek finagled them a table when they got inside. He seemed to know everyone.

As Greg got the girls settled onto tall stools, Derek disappeared to get them all something to drink. He reappeared with a pitcher of beer and four glasses.

“Um, I’m not twenty-one,” Charlotte piped up.

Derek winked at her. “I won’t tell if you won’t.” He poured beer into a glass and handed it to her.

Charlotte smiled at him. A real smile, not just the forced upturning of lips.

He leaned in, a dimple popping out in his cheek as he grinned back. “You have a beautiful smile, Charlotte.”

She blushed and looked down. “Thank you, Derek.” His proximity made her uncomfortable, even though she thought he was extremely attractive.

As though he read her mind, Derek leaned back, giving her a little space. The rest of the evening, he did things like placing his arm along the back of her chair and touching her hand, but nothing that made her twitchy. In fact, she kind of enjoyed it. He also paid attention to what she said, listening to her and asking her questions to bring her out of her reserve.

By the end of the night, she was laughing and drinking with Derek the way she typically did with Brandy during their weekly Girls’ Night In or Greg when he came over to watch a movie with them. The ride back to the apartment she shared with Brandy was filled with her giggles and Derek’s chuckles. She never noticed that Greg and her roommate were strangely quiet.

After they arrived back at the apartment, Derek somehow manipulated the situation so that they were outside alone. Charlotte fidgeted, clasping her hands in front of her. She couldn’t meet Derek’s eyes. She felt so unsure. Her high school boyfriend had been her best friend in junior high. Their fumbling in his parent’s basement senior year might have relieved her of her virginity, but not her inability to relate to men.

After being roommates with Brandy for three years, Charlotte was no longer as shy around women and able to speak clearly and confidently to her professors, though she would never argue with them as Brandy was prone to do. Still, she couldn’t deal with her anxiety when speaking to good-looking men. Average men made her a little nervous, but handsome men made her tongue tie in knots and her palms break out into a light sweat.

Derek stopped her fidgeting by sliding his hands down her forearms and lacing his fingers with hers.

“I really enjoyed tonight, Charlotte,” he said quietly.

She looked up through her lashes at him. “I did too.”

He tugged her closer by her hands so that their legs brushed. “I’d like to do it again sometime, just you and me.”

Her mouth went dry. He was the second most handsome man she knew, Greg being the first, and he wanted to
date
her?

She wet her lips with her tongue. “I think I’d like that too, Derek.”

He smiled slightly and rested his forehead against hers. “Good. Give me your number and I’ll call you tomorrow.”

Charlotte took a pen out of her purse and wrote her phone number on his wrist. Her hands wanted to shake, but she just managed to control it.

“Thanks,” he whispered, his face coming closer.

She froze. He was planning to kiss her and she didn’t know what to do. Just before his lips would have touched hers, his head changed angle and he pressed a light kiss to her cheek.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said before he turned and walked down the sidewalk toward the parking lot.

Charlotte watched him go, a hand on her cheek. Despite the spike in anxiety the thought of kissing him evoked, she almost wished his lips had landed on hers rather than her cheek.

Chapter Seven

March, Present Day

C
harlotte smoothed her dress down the front of her thighs. For the first time in her life, she wasn’t nervous on the first day of her new job. She also wasn’t eager. She just wanted to go in, do what she had to, and come home.

As she helped with everything else since Adam’s death, Brandy asked several of her colleagues if they needed an office manager or administrative assistant. Unfortunately, Charlotte didn’t have enough legal experience to gain a position in a law office, but one of the partners in Brandy’s firm was married to a contractor and he needed an office manager badly.

After negotiating salary and benefits, Charlotte had accepted the position. She didn’t have much choice. Just a few days after the debacle with the bank, Derek had finally returned her phone call.

“Charlotte, it’s Derek.”

He sounded calm, pleasant even, and completely unrepentant. Charlotte ground her teeth in an effort not to curse wildly at him. She didn’t like to lose her temper and, even when she did, she tried not to use foul language, though the stresses of the last two months had caused her to do so more than once. However, Derek’s behavior pushed her closer to that edge.

“Derek,” she replied.

“I’m calling about your message a few days ago.”

She waited in silence.

Finally, Derek cleared his throat and spoke again. “I would like to sit down with a mediator and discuss this rationally.”

Charlotte took a deep breath. Then another. When she knew that she could speak without shrieking, she replied, “Okay. I’m willing to do that. However, if you pull anything else like what you did a few days ago, I’m going to hire the biggest, man-eating attorney that Brandy can find me, no matter the cost. Then I will let them dig around until I have everything but the skin from your bones.”

Derek waited a few seconds before replying.

“I’m serious, Charlotte.”

“So am I, Derek,” she replied immediately.

The conversation grew even more tense.

“I can see that you’re not willing to be reasonable about this right now. We can talk again in a few days.”

“I’ll tell you what, Derek, I’ll text you the name and number of my attorney when I’ve decided who to use and you can set everything up through them since you obviously don’t understand the magnitude of what you did. I’m done playing your doormat,” Charlotte responded.

She hung up immediately after, unable to believe how cold and unfeeling her husband was. When they first met, he seemed to understand her needs and desires better than she did. After they had been married a few years, he had cooled toward her, but Charlotte assumed it was just Derek settling down and, sadly, taking her for granted. Which she always thought was normal. Now she was beginning to understand that he wasn’t just settling into the marriage, he had been distancing himself from their relationship.

Charlotte pulled herself out of the memory. She had things to do today. Just as she finished putting on her jewelry and checking her make-up, her cell phone rang. Charlotte grabbed her phone and her coffee and headed out of the bedroom, downstairs to the kitchen.

“Hey, Brandy,” she said as she answered.

“You doing okay this morning?” Brandy asked.

Charlotte rolled her eyes. Brandy was getting to be worse than a mother hen. Still, she appreciated her friend’s concern after so many years of indifference from her husband.

“I’m fine. I’m ready and not even a little bit nervous,” Charlotte reassured her.

“Okay. I just wanted to check.” Brandy paused. “Let’s go out for happy hour when you get off, okay? We haven’t done that in forever.”

Charlotte walked into the kitchen and put her coffee cup in the sink. “I don’t know, Brandy.”

Her friend shushed her. “I know you’re hurting, Charlotte. I understand. I’m not trying to make you stop, only to ease the burden for a short while. Eventually, you’ll have to return to the real world. It will be easier if you don’t remove yourself completely from reality. It’s just one evening; you, me, and maybe Greg. We all need it.”

Charlotte knew that Brandy was right. Her friends had literally been carrying her through the last six weeks. They needed a break from the burden of her emotions. Even if she didn’t truly want to go out and find normalcy again, it was the least she could do for them to pretend for one night that her world would eventually be whole again.

“Okay. We’ll do happy hour,” she relented.

“Good. I’ll text Greg and tell him to meet us. I’ll let you know what time.” She stopped for a second. “Now, I want you to try to have a good first day of work. Don’t make your new boss feel too much like a slob and unorganized child. I realize that your brain works magic with numbers and efficiency, but have pity on the poor souls who aren’t as blessed.”

Charlotte smiled. Genuine smiles of happiness happened more naturally now, though it wasn’t often. It helped that her friend went out of her way to draw them out of her.

“Yes, ma’am.”

They disconnected and Charlotte got her things together and headed into the garage to her car. She climbed into her car and headed to work for the first time in years, but, for the first time in weeks, she felt the dark weight of her grief lighten slightly.