Seasons of Sugarcreek 03. Autumn's Promise (16 page)

Breathe!

Robert forced himself to exhale and then inhale again as Lilly stared at him. Her brown eyes, which he could describe in his sleep, were filled with wonder. Her lips were slightly parted.

As the moments passed, a thick band of doubt gripped his chest and squeezed. Once again, he guided himself through the motions of taking air into his lungs. Then he couldn’t take it anymore. “Is there a full moon out tonight?” he joked. “Maybe we could just pretend the last two minutes never happened.”

She shook her head. “Why would I want to do that? You’ve just made me so very happy.”

Little by little, hope edged out doubt. He scanned her face again. There was happiness and something akin to amusement in her eyes. Lilly’s cheeks were flushed.

But he still wasn’t precisely sure what she was thinking. “You’re happy?”

“Yes. Of course.”

Oh, but she was driving him crazy! “Then will you please answer my question?” he prodded impatiently. “A man needs to hear the words, you know.”

She laughed again—a joyous, free sound. “Yes.”

He was so afraid to hope. And, that Lilly—she so loved to tease. He never knew when she was really serious. “Yes, you’ll answer?”

“Yes, I’ll answer you.” Before he could take another breath, she curved her hands around his neck. “You’re so silly. Yes, Robert, I will marry you.”

Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her close. How did he get so lucky? “I’m so pleased.”

She laughed again. “Did you really think I’d say no?” He shifted, then reached for her, pulling her close. Before Lilly knew it, she was half sitting on his lap like a golden retriever puppy. All arms and legs and energy. “I wasn’t sure what you would say,” he admitted. “Marriage to me will bring a great many changes to you—your life. It might be difficult.”

A shadow crossed her face before she shook it away. “Let’s not talk about problems. Not right this minute.”

“You’re right. I’m being foolish, bringing up worries all the time.”

“You’re not being foolish. I just want to thank my lucky stars right now. I want us to count our blessings. Oh, Robert, falling in love has been so easy. Just about the easiest thing I’ve done in months.”

Her words sounded so perfect, it was impossible not to agree. Loving Lilly
had
been easy. And freeing. A feeling of foreboding slithered into his senses. Was it supposed to be like this? He almost felt as if they were living in a child’s fairy tale—not in the real world.

Her head tucked into his shoulder, she snuggled a little closer. “I love you.”

When she raised her head and looked into his eyes, Robert brushed his knuckle against her cheek—marveling at how soft her skin was. And, of course, he couldn’t resist her any longer. Leaning his head toward hers, he brushed his lips against hers, kissing her lightly.

When she responded, he deepened the kiss and traced a path down her spine with his fingers. Felt the fine bones of her ribs under her sweater. And let himself get caught up in the moment again. Once again.

It was Lilly who pulled away. “We better stop before we get carried away,” she murmured, her cheeks deliciously flushed.

He was just vain enough to be pleased with her comment. He wanted Lilly to yearn for him. He wanted her to think about him the same way he thought of her.

But of course, there was also a need for restraint. “I’m tempted to sit here with you all night, but perhaps we should go back to your home. There’s a lot to do.”

“Like what?”

“We need to tell your parents, of course.”

She tensed. Looked away. “Let’s wait a bit.”

“Why?” Suddenly, he was worried about their future again. “Have you changed your mind already?”

“Of course not. I’m just not ready to share our news. It feels so special. Special and private. I don’t want to ruin the moment. Tomorrow’s soon enough.”

He cautioned himself to not fret over her words. Just because she wanted to wait didn’t mean she didn’t want a future with him. And she was probably right. There was no reason they had to tell the whole world. “You’re right. Tomorrow is soon enough. We can wait, if that’s what you want.”

“It’s exactly what I want.”

“All right, then.” Getting to his feet, he knew it was time to walk her back to the restaurant. Lilly was quiet beside him, quieter than he could ever remember her being.

But that was no bother. Around them, the air smelled sweeter and the stars seemed brighter. Everything felt better and exaggerated and like new. Perhaps because he was so ready to begin a new life, too?

Later, as his horse clip-clopped on the dark road, and no lights except for his kerosene lamp could be seen for miles and miles, he again was struck by what a wonderful sense of peace he felt.

Lilly loved him. Loved him so much that she was willing to change her life in order to live by his side. As his wife.

It was only later, after he’d heated soup for dinner and was eating it in the quiet of his kitchen…that he realized that Lilly had not actually agreed to become Amish.

Only professed her love for him.

It was awkward to see Josh at the counter of the store and have no desire to speak with him. Especially since the store was relatively empty and he wanted to talk.

“Lilly, where are ya going in such a hurry, anyway?” he asked, resting his elbows on the counter.

“To see your wife.”

His eyes lit up. “That’s good of you.” Straightening, he walked around the counter. “I’ll go get her and bring her down. Then the three of us can have a chat.”

She edged toward the stairs. “Oh, I don’t want to make her come all the way down. I’ll just go on up.”

“She won’t mind. The exercise will do her good.”

“Josh, I came over to speak with Gretta. Alone.”

“Oh.” A wealth of emotions crossed his features. Curiosity and…disappointment?

Lilly wasn’t surprised. She’d been friends with Josh first. Actually, she and Gretta had gotten off to a rocky start, since at first Gretta thought Josh might have been interested in her.

But that was in the past. Ever since they started working together, their friendship had really grown. And now, well, she needed information only an Amish girl could give her.

Not that she was in a hurry to tell Josh any of that. “I’ll see you later,” she said in a rush as she darted up the stairs and quickly knocked on the apartment door.

As soon as Gretta opened the door, she beamed. “Lilly, how
gut
to see you! Did you come over to shop?”

“No…I actually came to talk to you. Do you have time?”

Gretta raised a brow. “Of course, I have time. Come in.” The moment she closed the door, she grabbed Lilly’s hand. “Now, tell me what is new and don’t say
nothing
. Your eyes are shining.”

Gretta didn’t have to worry about that. Lilly was so anxious to share her news, she could hardly stand it. “Robert Miller asked me to marry him.”

“Oh my word! What did you say?”

“I said yes.” Feeling her cheeks heat. “I…I love him.”

“I know you do.” All smiles, she pulled Lilly into a hug. “Oh, wouldn’t it be something? After everything that you’ve been through, if you became Plain?”

“It would be something,” Lilly agreed, feeling a bit stunned. It was hard enough to imagine being married. Thinking about changing her whole life was hard to even contemplate. “Gretta, right now, I can’t even imagine it.”

As practical as ever, Gretta nodded sagely. “Of course you can’t, standing here in front of me in your jeans and sneakers. With your hair all around your face.” Narrowing her eyes, she looked to be making a sudden decision. “Follow me.”

Lilly walked past the tiny kitchen and sitting area, past the bathroom, and into Gretta and Josh’s bedroom. The room, painted a pale blue, was barely big enough for the quilt-covered bed, one side table, and a chest of drawers. On one wall was a wooden bar with hooks on it. Two dresses and a pair of Josh’s pants hung on them.

Making a decision, Gretta picked a dark blue dress off the hook and handed it to Lilly. “Try it on.”

Playing dress-up in Amish clothes felt wrong. “I couldn’t.”

“Sure you could.” Hugging her stomach, she smiled.

“It’s not like I’m about to put this dress on, anyway. I’m far too big! Go on into the bathroom and put it on.”

Though she’d seen the dress on Gretta a dozen times, it felt strange in her hands. “There’s no buttons.”

“I’ve got pins, Lilly. Let’s just see how you look.
Jah?
”

“All right. Sure.”

She went into the bathroom and removed her jeans and T-shirt, then slipped on the dress. When Gretta wasn’t pregnant, she and Lilly seemed to be almost the same size. Lilly was easily able to hold the front together. She opened the door. “You better come pin me up.”

Gretta chuckled as she easily fastened the dress together. Lilly couldn’t do much except stare at her reflection. Already, she looked different. Almost like a stranger.

Beside her, Gretta examined Lilly’s reflection. After a moment, she frowned.

“What’s wrong?” Lilly asked.

“You need a
kapp
. I’ll be right back.”

Hastily, Lilly dug in the pocket of her jeans that were lying on the floor and pulled out an elastic. Quickly, she pulled her hair back, fastening a ponytail at her neck. Gretta clucked a bit when she returned. After handing the
kapp
to Lilly, she smoothed Lilly’s hair back and then tucked the bottom of Lilly’s ponytail under, making a bun.

Then, she stepped back. “This is my
kapp
for
gmay
, for church. Slip it on.”

“Are you sure?”

“In for a penny, in for a pound, yes?”

“I suppose so.” Taking a deep breath, she carefully slipped the white
kapp
on her head, smoothing out the ties over her shoulders.

Then she looked in the mirror again. “Oh, my!” Gretta said, her voice filled with wonder. “Look at you.”

Lilly couldn’t seem to do anything but look at herself. “I look Amish,” she whispered.

“Almost. All you have to do is take off your makeup.” Gretta tilted her head to one side. “The kapp suits you, I think.”

It felt funny, wearing something on her head. It felt strange wearing the loose dress. But as she examined her reflection, she said, “This is what I would look like, being Robert’s wife.”

Next to her, Gretta stiffened a bit. “
Nee
, Lilly,” she murmured. “This is what you would look like when you
join our church
. When you
become Amish
.”

Lilly’s mouth went dry. Gretta was right. She wasn’t just going to be Robert Miller’s wife. She would be leaving behind everything she’d ever known…and adopting a new way of life.

Before making her vows to Robert, she would have to take vows to Robert’s community. To be baptized. To hold their way of life close to her heart. She would be making promises to God.

Could she even do that?

Slowly, she pulled off the
kapp
and handed it back to Gretta. “Thank you for letting me try this on. I think I’ll change back to my jeans now.”

“Yes. Perhaps that would be best.”

As Gretta closed the door behind her, Lilly felt a disturbing, awkward knot settle in her stomach.

She tried not to notice that she didn’t dare look at herself in the mirror again.

Not until she was back in her jeans and T-shirt.

Caleb was ringing up Miriam’s sale and preparing to lock up the store for the evening when Joshua bounded down the stairs from his apartment in a panic. “It’s happening!”

“What is?” Caleb asked. Lately, every single thing Gretta did was cause for his brother to panic. In addition, when he wasn’t climbing stairs to check on his wife, he was distracted and moony. He sometimes forgot to do tasks. Other times, he spent double the time needed to do the most basic of chores.

Everyone had noticed Joshua’s new, terribly unfamiliar distracted nature; and it had become a great source of amusement for their parents.

Not so much for Judith and Caleb. They had to deal with the bulk of the work their brother now never completed. Between Joshua’s forgetfulness and Anson’s lazy ways, Caleb and Judith were fostering their own frustrations.

Then, of course, were the looming worries about what the family was going to do when Caleb left. If Joshua didn’t get his head back on straight, their father was going to have to ask Tim to start working at the store, which would be a disaster. Tim was a farmer, not a merchant.

“Gretta,” Joshua sputtered, bringing Caleb back to the present. “Her baby’s on the way!”

“Are you sure?”

“Oh, yes.” A line of moisture formed on his brow.

“She’s got pains. And her water broke.”

Miriam clasped her hands together. “Oh, my! This is exciting!”

Now it was Caleb who felt the hard clench of panic deep inside his belly. Daring to look up at the ceiling, he was almost afraid to see Gretta standing there looking down at them. “What do you need?”

“Her sister Margaret is with her now, but she wants to go to the hospital.”

There had been some talk of Gretta delivering at home with just a midwife in attendance, but because she was especially big—and her blood pressure elevated—everyone had been in agreement that the labor-and-delivery center was the best choice.

As Caleb stared at his brother like a dunce, Miriam took charge. “Who have you asked to drive you, Joshua?”

“The Allens said they would.” Running a hand through his hair, he muttered, “But I’m not sure who is home.” He looked at all of them wide-eyed. “What…what do you think we should do?”

Finally Caleb was able to start functioning again. “We need to call them, don’tcha think?”

“Joshua?” Gretta called out from up above. “Josh!” All three looked at the stairs. Joshua paled. Caleb’s stomach knotted.

Only Miriam seemed to still be able to think. “Come now, boys. Let’s get busy,” she said, clapping her hands to bring them out of their stunned silence. “What do you need done?”

Caleb spun into action. “I’ll go to the back room and use the business phone to call the Allens,” he pronounced, thankful once again that they were allowed this convenience for emergencies. “Josh, you go back up to Gretta and help her get ready to go to the hospital. Miriam, would you shoo the last of the customers out of here for me?”

“I’d be happy to,” she said.

Less than twenty minutes later, Caleb was standing at Miriam’s side, waving off Lilly Allen, his mother, Joshua and Gretta, and Margaret. As Lilly’s car rolled out of sight, he murmured, “Have you ever seen Joshua more out of sorts?”

Miriam chuckled. “Never. Gretta looked calm as a cucumber, though.” With a superior look, she said, “Girls always can be counted on in a crisis.”

“Hardly. When I called the Allens, my mother was in their kitchen having coffee. By the time we got off the phone, she sounded as flustered as a turkey in November.”

Miriam grinned at his comparison. “I guess you have a point. It is terribly exciting, though. Imagine, a new baby in your family in just a few hours!” She looked behind her at the quiet building. “Caleb, the store is empty and locked up. Do you need any more help?”

“
Nee, danke
. When I talked to Judith, she said she was going to go home and gather everyone. I’m going to do some chores around the farm then go up to the hospital later with Tim and Clara.”

“I’m going to go tell everyone at the inn about Gretta. I’m sure Mrs. Kent will be so excited; she might end up going to the hospital with me.” With a look of delight, she added, “I have a feeling we’ll all be going to the hospital as soon as we hear the joyful news.”

Caleb wasn’t surprised to hear her statement. Joining together wasn’t an unusual occurrence for them. It was simply what they did. Community was everything.

Though, things were changing. One day, it might not be his community.

That knowledge dampened his spirits. Shouldn’t he be resenting all these obligations? Shouldn’t he be wishing he was free? What was wrong with him?

“See you later, then,” he murmured.

All smiles, Miriam reached for his hands. “Bless you, Caleb. Best of luck to your brother and his wife. I’ll spread the word that there’s a need for praying, and soon.”

“Danke.”

He watched her walk away, and was just about to go to the stables and hook up Jim to the rig when a Jeep pulled up.

“Hey! Hey, Caleb!” the driver called out. “Look at you, all dressed Plain. What’s up?”

Caleb approached the trio. Jeremy, his buddy Blake, and Jeremy’s girlfriend Paige were
Englischer
teens from the local high school. He’d joined them a time or two at a few kids’ houses for parties. As the three of them gaped at him from the inside of the vehicle, he felt completely conspicuous.

Though Jeremy and his friends knew he was Amish, he’d taken care not to let any of them see him in his usual clothes. It had felt too different, and he desperately just wanted to fit in with them.

A part of him waited for them to tease his way of dressing as he approached. But, instead, they were looking at him like they always did, with easy acceptance.

“Hey. I was just closing up the store. My brother left for the hospital a couple of minutes ago. He and his wife are about to have a baby.”

“Your brother’s already going to be a dad?” Blake frowned. “How old is he?”

“Twenty.”

“That’s just two years older than I am.” Jeremy grimaced. “There’s no way I’d want to have a baby right now.”

Caleb was in no hurry to point out any more differences between his family’s life and theirs. “What are you guys doing?”

“Driving around. Hey, are you free? A bunch of us are going over to Callie’s. She’s got some of her parents’ beer.”

He knew Callie, too. Though she might be a little wild by his sister Judith’s standards, she was really nice. And she’d flirted with him a time or two as well.

But he knew he shouldn’t be going anywhere but home and to his chores.

“Say you’ll join us,” Paige said. “Callie thinks you’re cute.”

Jeremy waved off her comment. “She thinks every guy is cute. But, hey, you’re welcome to come along. There’s room in the car. Come on.”

The pull to join them was strong. Though he’d never really enjoyed their company all that much, the three of them symbolized everything he’d been searching for. It was a chance to stop doing everything that was expected of him and have some fun.

To be normal.

But if he decided to stay with Cassidy and Eric, he was going to be in Cleveland in just a few weeks. It would be best if he stuck to his obligations.

“I better not…I really should go home and later to the hospital with everyone.”

Blake looked at him like he was crazy. “Why? All you’re going to be doing is sitting around.”

Paige chimed in. “My cousin Katrina had a baby last month. She was in labor for ten hours.”

“Yeah. No one will care if you show up in two hours or four. No one’s even going to be looking for you, anyway.”

What they said made sense. “I don’t have any other clothes with me.”

“I think you look fine. Kind of handsome, in a weird, old-fashioned way,” Paige said. “I’m sure Callie will think so, too. Come on.”

“Yeah. It’s not like your brother’s going to care whether you’re standing around or not. Come with us and I’ll drop you off at the hospital later.”

Everything they said had a point. Plus, if having a baby took as long as they said, he could see his friends for a while, then go to the hospital just like he’d planned. “Move over, Paige. I’m coming with ya,” he said.

Jeremy smiled. “We knew you would. After all, even though you dress funny, you’re just like us, right?”

“Right,” he replied as he jumped in the car. Jeremy gunned the accelerator and they sped through the traffic light.

As the store and Jim and his family’s buggy faded into the distance, Caleb forced himself not to think about what he was leaving behind.

And what his parents were going to say when they realized that he hadn’t come right home.