Second Chance Romance (17 page)

Carrie had called while we were at the football game upstate and said that she needed to talk but wouldn’t elaborate. I brushed it off but then she kept calling and texting and emailing. She was even harassing Jackson. Finally, I relented to meet her on Wednesday morning to see what was so important. I wanted to tell Jules that I was meeting with her but she seemed so fragile after our trip. I was actually worried about her, but she didn’t want to talk about it and I didn’t want to push. I got up and went for my regular run. I checked my phone and noticed that Carrie texted me again last night and said it was urgent. I called her before I got in the shower and told her I’d meet her in an hour. I showered and dressed quickly. I kissed Jules on the forehead and headed to Pat’s Café to meet Carrie. I walked in and saw her sitting in a booth towards the back. She looked slightly disheveled almost as if she’d been crying. I headed back and took a seat.

“Car, you okay?” I asked.

“No. I don’t know.” She wasn’t her polished put together self. Even though we weren’t together I still cared about her, I wasn’t that much of an asshole.

“What’s wrong?”

She reached in her purse and pushed something across the table under her hand. I lifted her hand to see what it was. It was a slender white stick with two pink lines. All the blood left my face.
This cannot be happening…

“Is this what I think it is?” I asked and she started crying again.

“Yes. I’m pregnant Noah. It’s yours.”

A million thoughts filtered through my mind.
How am I going to tell Jules? What’s Jules going to think? This is going to kill Jules. I wish it were Jules. This cannot be happening.

I couldn’t form a coherent sentence. I just stared at the test in front of me. I realized it could be a blessing in disguise since Jules couldn’t have children so this would give her an opportunity to be a mom too. But Carrie was selfish and probably wouldn’t like that idea too much. At least I had a while to convince her that we could co-parent. We sat in silence for a while and I told her I had to take a little bit to let the news sink in. I hugged her and headed to the office. I wondered
how Robert was going to take this news. I texted Jules to tell her to meet me for dinner so I could tell her the news; but ended up chickening out. I felt like she was still too vulnerable. I sent her a few texts lying to her saying I was busy at work but I knew that wouldn’t work forever so I had to grow a pair and tell her the truth. I cleared my morning and headed to see Jules. I knocked on her door and she opened it looking haggard but still beautiful. She had on an oversized sweatshirt and a pair of plaid shorts. Her hair was in a messy ponytail and I could tell she just woke up. I explained to her that I wasn’t working and I was trying to work through some things. I took a deep breath and told her it had to do with Carrie. Then I just spit it out.

“She’s pregnant.” At first she looked stunned, then hurt, then angry.
Very angry.
I wanted to hold her and tell her it was going to be okay but she kept me at arms length. I assured her we would get through this together and that it could be good for us but I don’t think she was even listening to me. Then the switch flipped and she started screaming at me that I lost my mind and that she couldn’t give this to me but that she was happy for me and she wished me the best. When she started crying it killed me. I pulled her into my arms hoping that I could show her how much I loved her. I told her I loved her over and over and that I wanted to do this with her but she backed away. She knew just as well as I did that Carrie wouldn’t let that happen. She walked away and I pulled the letter I wrote for her this morning and left it by the coffee pot knowing that she would find it. I left and headed back to the city. I went straight to Jackson’s. I wanted his input on the situation.

I headed into his building and pounded on his door until he opened it. He was in a pair of boxers with his hair sticking out in every direction.

“What the fuck dude. Do you know what time it is?” He rubbed his eyes and looked at me. “Oh man what happened? Are you okay?” He grabbed my arm and pulled me inside and walked to the fridge moving the orange juice out of the way and opting for a beer. He was going to need it.

“Carrie’s pregnant.” He spat his beer all over the kitchen.

“What?!” He choked.

“Preg-nant.” I said
enunciating each syllable.

“Oh man, how did that happen?”

“Seriously?”

“I mean I know how, but I thought she was on the shot thing.”

“Me too.” I said running my hands through my hair.

“Did you talk to Jules? Is that why you look like someone ran over your puppy?”

“I just came from there. She wants to end things.”

“What! She can’t do that. How do we even know it’s yours?”

“I researched it and given the time frame it would be too early to tell if it were someone else’s.”

“Fuck.” He said in exasperation. “We will just have to make Jules see that this could work.”

“That’s going to be a lot harder than it seems. For one, she’s stubborn and secondly she knows that I’ve always wanted kids and now that she knows that she cant have them she’s hell-bent on making me work things out with Carrie so I can have the family she thinks I want. What she refuses to see is the only reason I wanted a family was because I wanted one with her.”

“Man, I’m sorry. This is so screwed up. Should I talk to Ellie?”

“No.” I said firmly. We sat around for most of the day drinking but I wasn’t drunk.

Jackson suggested sending her flowers so I called the florist and arranged a delivery.

After dinner we took a cab and headed to Double D’s. Ellie was sitting at the bar talking to one of the other girls that worked there, I think her name was Willow. She bounced up as soon as she saw Jackson and ran over wrapping her legs around his waist and kissing him like a crazy women. I knew they were set to go on soon and would hopefully get a chance to talk to her in between sets. I had to make her see reason. Ellie went to go finish getting ready and I knew she would most likely tell Jules that we were there. Ten minutes later she strolled onto the stage and locked eyes with me. I noticed the song change immediately. I knew the song since we were both big fans of Three Days Grace and I knew what she was trying to do and I wasn’t going to let it happen. The song choice cut me especially because it was talking about being hurt by the ones you loved and trusted the most. The song switched and it was ‘Bitch Came Back’ the irony was not lost on me, this was directed at Carrie. I would never be free of her now. She wanted her ring, she got it, it wasn’t big enough, it wasn’t the right clarity, yada-yada. No matter what I give her it will never be enough and now I’m stuck.
Fuck!

‘The bitch came back the very next day, thought she was a goner,

but the bitch came back, she couldn’t stay away.

I like her so much better when she’s down on her knees cause when she’s in my face that’s when I’m starting to see that all my friends are laughing thinking that we belong

Well she’s so stupid that she’s singing along

The trouble with girls is their all the same.

Forget the diamonds and pearls they just want a ring

B
efore you know it you’re like a dog on a leash.

Well you can try and change the world but you won’t change me

There she goes again just breaking my balls

N
o matter what I do it’s always my fault

She says
I must be cheating cause I turned off my phone

But that’s the only frickin’ way she’ll leave me alone

The trouble with girls is it’s never enough

Love to complain and they never shut up like to tell you the way it ought to be

Go on tell the world just don’t tell me. 

When she walked off the stage the room burst into applause. I headed to the bar and ordered a shot. I was going to need it. Jackson tried to keep me from going back there until the end of the night but I was sick of this shit already. Jules and I belonged together. I overheard a male voice mixed with hers and I saw red. I stormed down the hallway and stopped dead in the doorway when I saw her hugging some tool. She didn’t even notice me.

“Jules.” I said trying to control my anger. She stepped away from the tool, he took a step towards me and it was taking all my self-restraint not to pummel him into a speck. He introduced himself as none other than the infamous Chase Mitchell. Douche-bag.
He wasn’t the saint she made him out to be. I moved toward him and told him to stay the fuck away from her and he just gave me a look that said
yeah right
and I lost it. I totally fucking lost it. I grabbed him by his shirt and pushed him hard against the wall making sure I got a good slam in. His face was about to meet my fist when Jules yelled to cut the shit. Chase left and Jules seemed pissed, too bad because I was pissed too. I started berating her about running off to someone else for a rebound fuck. I wasn’t surprised when she slapped me. I deserved it. I lowered my head enough so I could capture her lips. I kissed her with everything I had in me. I professed my love over and over. She started taking my clothes off and I happily obliged. When I finally entered her I was in my happy place, lost in Jules. I could happily stay like this forever. I pushed her up against the door and thrusted into her over and over. I felt her start to tighten and I let myself go the same time she did. I loved this girl so much. I watched her get dressed, and then I was confused because it was only the beginning of the night. I was hoping she would offer to go back to my place so I could spend the night reassuring her that everything was going to be okay. But instead she leaned in and kissed me.

“Goodbye Noah.” She said as she stalked out the back door. I wanted to chase after her but there was no way to get past to goon guarding the door. I tried calling her, every time she wouldn’t answer I called right back. Finally
on the something-teenth try she picked up and we had a bit of a fight. She told me I needed to fix things with Carrie and that she was my family now. She told me she was leaving.
Leaving…

I told her I loved her before she hung up on me. I crumbled to the ground clutching my phone and put my head between my legs. I cried like I’d never cried in my life. I headed home to wallow in self-pity. It literally hurt
to breathe. I couldn’t admit that it was over. She still needed me to hold her. She was testing me. She had to be. I texted her a couple times and didn’t get a response. I started to panic. I ran to the parking garage and hopped in my Jeep. I sped like a mad man to her house but her car wasn’t there. She should have been home an hour ago. I sat there like a statue. Her phone was off and every possible scenario ran through my head. Ellie hadn’t heard from her either. I started calling hospitals, then police stations. I was in a full-blown panic. I stared at her door for hours waiting for her to come home. She never did instead I got a text saying
I’m fine.
I tried calling her right back but she had already turned her phone back off. I knew I should probably go to work today since I didn’t go yesterday but I couldn’t bring myself to move. My phone rang and I answered it on the first ring.

“Jules.” I cried.

“No.” Carrie replied harshly. “Trouble in paradise?”

“No, everything’s fine.” I lied.

“Sure it is.” She spat sarcastically. “I just wanted to see what you were doing today I wanted to go look at some furniture for the nursery.”

“Don’t people usually wait until they’re a little further along before they do that?”

“I want to see what they have. I’ll probably end up ordering something custom but I just want to see what options are available.”

What had I gotten myself into?

“I’m not really feeling well today. Maybe another time.”

“Fine. But you are not avoiding me forever Noah Sinclair.” She hung up and I backed out of Jules’ driveway and headed back to my condo. I called Robert to tell him I wasn’t going to make it in, again.

“I hope you’re going to do what’s right son.” He said before hanging up.
This just keeps getting better and better.

I went home and crawled into bed. There was a piece of paper under my pillow.

Never forget me because if I thought you would, I’d never leave.

X, J

She came here!

A week went by, then two and three. It had been a month since I heard from Jules. Ellie was tight lipped and just said she had moved on and she was happy. She said Jules wanted me to do the same but I couldn’t, I didn’t want
too. I tried to use the lost phone app to find out where she was but it was never on so I always came up with squat but it didn’t stop me from trying, every day. Carrie had been more persistent about doing things together to strengthen our relationship before the baby came. I reluctantly gave her one night a week. Part of me felt horrible, I should be treating her better because she was going to be the mother of my child but I just wasn’t there yet. Instead I resented her for what happened with Jules.

I decided I needed to go home. I needed to clear my head. I booked a flight that left the next day and returned Sunday afternoon. I needed my mom. I called and let them know I was coming home.
She knew I was struggling with Jules being gone again and I had yet to tell her about the baby. I wasn’t sure how she was going to react and it deserved to be a face to face. I packed my suitcase and forced myself to go to sleep. Every time I closed my eyes all I saw was Jules, the way I felt about her just wouldn’t go away. I clutched to that piece of paper like it was my lifeline. She haunted my dreams. She was ‘the one.’ I just wanted to forget and runaway from everything except for her.