Second Chance Romance (18 page)

I spent the night tossing and turning. I filled a mug with coffee and headed down to the lobby to meet with Segundo. We headed to JFK so I could catch my flight. Jackson called me on the way.

“Hey man.” He sounded glum about something.

“Morning Jax.”

“I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for lunch or something.” His tone was making me suspicious. I had known him long enough to know when he was trying to avoid a certain subject.

“Can’t. I’m on my way to the airport, heading home for the weekend.”

“Why didn’t you mention it? I would have come with you know I miss June-bug.” He was referring to my mom.

“That’s exactly why I didn’t mention it. I need to go alone. I need time to think about things. I don’t know what to do about Jules or Carrie
or anything right now.”

“I’m pretty sure Jules is gone for good, bro.”

“What makes you say that?” I asked knowing this was what he probably wanted to talk about over lunch. Ellie must have found something out.

“This morning Ellie was making breakfast…”

“And?”

“Well she got a message from Jules. It was a picture.”

“Okay…”

“She was kissing
Chase and holding her hand in front of the camera. It looked like she was sporting some kind of engagement ring or something.”

“It’s probably the ring I gave her.” I quickly inserted.

“No. It was a different one. I’m positive. Anyway, I forwarded the picture to my phone before she could find out. I can send it to you if you want?”

“Yeah, send it over.” I said feeling my heart beating out of my chest with each second ticking by. I normally would enjoy the relaxing, for me, drive but today it was anything but.

“Call me if you need to talk.”

“Thanks Jax.” I disconnected the call and waited for the message. Sure enough it was a picture of Jules and Chase laying on a blanket or something kissing with her hand held up with a ring that didn’t belong to me. My heart instantly shattered and I was trying to hold it together.

I made it through security with plenty of time to spare. It may have only been ten in the morning but my day so far was requiring a drink so I stopped at one of the restaurants that served and ordered a Jack neat. I sat there until it was time to board. I couldn’t stop myself from looking at every blonde that passed by and hoping I’d see her face. The flight was short and uneventful. I grabbed my carry on and headed to the rental car pick-up and started towards home. The picture of Jules was burned into my mind and it was all I could think about. An hour later I pulled into the driveway and was greeted by mom. She pulled me into a giant hug and pulled me down so she could kiss my forehead. Being the momma’s boy I was I broke down and started crying.

“Come on sweetheart let’s go inside and you can tell me all about what’s going on.” My mom didn’t look at day over forty-five. She was petite and slender with dark brown hair and blue eyes. She was the kindest woman I knew. I followed her inside and left my bag in the foyer and walked to the kitchen.

“I made you a pecan pie.” She said cutting a slice off and putting it on a plate. She slid it in front of me and handed me a fork. I took a bite and it was delicious as always. “Now tell me what’s going on?” She said thoughtfully. I started filling her in and I knew I had to drop the bomb. But she had the look like she was going to offer me some advice.

“Honey, you can shed tears that she is gone or you can smile because you had that time with her. You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back or you can open your eyes and see that she left.
Your heart is empty because you can’t see her but let it be full because of the love you shared. Cherish the memories of the times you spent together and let it live on but she’s not yours anymore. What do you think she would want?”

“Remember when I told you that Jules met with Melissa and she said it didn’t look good for us?”

“Of course I remember but that’s no reason for her to run away.” She said solemnly.

“Well
, I found something out a few days after that and I’ve been trying to work through it but it’s the main reason Jules took off and why I needed to come home to clear my head.” She nodded for me to continue and placed her small hand in mine. “Carrie told me she’s pregnant. It’s mine.” I said sadly. I should be ecstatic but my heart was fighting me every step of the way since Carrie wasn’t the one I wanted to share this with.

“Oh dear.”

“Tell me about it. I told Jules. I hoped that we would be able to do this together, I wanted to do this together but she pretty much ran off right away and told me I needed to go back to Carrie and work things out, to be a family with her. This isn’t how it was supposed to go mom.” I fought back tears again. “I haven’t been able to get in touch with her at all. I don’t know where she is but I know she’s with her ex, Chase. Then right before I got to the airport this morning Jackson told me her saw a picture on Ellie’s phone.” I pulled my phone out and showed her the photo.

“Oh honey, you’re going to experience the best gift life has to offer. You’re going to be a father, an amazing one at that. Maybe Jules was right by doing what she did. I know you don’t see it that way now but one day you will. She knew that you wouldn’t have the chance to experience it fully if she was in the picture. Think of it as a gift.” A gift my ass, I wanted the baby and Jules.

“Mom, it’s too hard. I’ve loved Jules for as long as I can remember and I went all those years thinking I would never see her again only to have her leave again but this time on her terms. I thought I was ready to move on when I met Carrie and I tried, I really did but after being with Jules again I know that she’s the one I want to be with.”

“Honey, it looks like she made her choice and I’m sorry but it wasn’t you. You need to do the right thing here, for the baby’s sake.” I could always trust her to tell me like it is and I respected her for that.

“I don’t know if I can.”

“You can and you will. You’r
e a grown man now Noah. I raised you better than that.” I nodded in understanding. “Now when you go back to New York I want you to beg, plead, grovel, whatever you need to do to get back in good graces with the mother of my grandbaby, you understand?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Good.” She kissed my cheek and flitted around the kitchen. “I’m making chicken and dumplings for you. Go take your things to your room and get ready to come eat.”

I spent the rest of the trip mostly in my room staring out my window to Jules old window. I was torn but knew what I had to do.
It was going to kill me.

Carrie

This is not going as planned. What’s taking him so long to come around? The bitch is out of the way and this bitch is ready to get her man. Look’s like I got them both by the
Achilles heel.

“Everything’s going as planned.”
The voice said.

“Excellent. Let’s just hope he takes the bait.”

I trailed my fingertips over my abdomen and disconnected from the call. My phone rang again it was Noah.

“Noah, is everything alright?” I asked sweetly.

“Fine, I just wanted to let you know I’m in Georgia for a couple days I’d like to see you when I get back. I was hoping to schedule an appointment with Melissa some time this week for an ultrasound.” I hated that bitch too.

“I already have a doctor
and it’s too early to see anything yet anyway.”

“Okay. I’ll see you in a few days
then.”

“Be safe Noah.”

“Bye Carrie.” He sounded sad but I wasn’t going to let that knock me off my pedestal. I finally had Noah Sinclair exactly where I wanted him.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Over & Over

Jules

“We have to make this look convincing as possible.” I said to Chase, my heart breaking more with each step.

I had been talking to Ellie at least a couple times of week since our arrival
here. She told me that Noah had been doing nothing but moping around since I left, he was even ignoring Jackson. I needed him to do the right thing, so Chase and I formulated a plan to push him in the right direction.

We
had been hiding out at his grandfather’s cabin in rural North Carolina since we left New York. The circumstances weren’t the greatest, but we were making the best of it. Chase reminded me of all the reasons I loved him in the first place. He was so loyal and protective. I was thankful for everything he had helped me through this past month. Though, we slept in the same bed every night we maintained a strict friendship only relationship. Mostly because we were in a tiny one-bedroom cabin but I couldn’t deny that I fact that I enjoyed the comfort and security it brought. I knew I was asking him to cross the line today. I worried it would ignite old feelings, but I wasn’t ready to put Noah behind me yet. I was still grieving him; I would probably grieve him for the rest of my life. Though Noah and I had only been back together for a short time, it was as if no time had passed between us at all. We were made for each other, but I loved him enough to want what was best for him even if it was killing me.

Chase led
me down to the dock where he set up our photo-op. I took a deep breath and sat on the blanket. I had my Trac-phone in hand my right hand and his grandmother’s ring on my left hand. We leaned back and kissed as I hit the camera button making sure that the ring was in the picture. I looked at the picture, it looked very convincing, so I sat up and quickly pressed send. Ellie had been sure to place her phone where Jackson would see it. Jackson being the drama king he was would make sure Noah saw it. I just hoped it would be the ammunition that he needed to go back to Carrie.
I don’t think he knows how much he wants this
. I know this marks the end of the Noah and Jules saga but my hearts already broken so at this point I just wanted to make sure that at least one of us makes it out with a happily ever after.

As soon as it was
delivered I slid the ring off my finger and handed it back to Chase.

“It looked good there. Maybe someday you’ll let me put it there for real.”
He smiled. He was trying to make it sound like a joke, but I wasn’t buying it. I slid Noah’s promise ring back onto my finger and headed back to the cabin. I knew I was about to have a moment and just wanted to be alone.

As soon as I walked into the bedroom I closed the door behind me. I slid into bed and broke into tears.

I was grateful for what Chase had done and kept doing for me, but I was starting to feel crowded. He kept pushing for
more
and it wasn’t fair to keep stringing him along
.

I spent the afternoon crying on and off. Chase
came in a little while later and offered me his shoulder, I guiltily accepted.

“What can I do to make you love me like that Jules? I would do anything. I love you so much
, I wish you could see that.” Chase pleaded.

“Chase
, you know you can’t help who you love. It just happens. I do love you but just not like that, not anymore. I’m sorry. You’re an amazing man Chase Mitchell but I’m not sure I’ll ever find another Noah.” I slid out from next to him and slid my sneakers on so I could take a walk around the lake to clear my head. I felt bad that Chase’s helping me was hurting him. I needed to find another alternative.

Two more weeks had gone by.
Ellie had texted me saying that Noah was trying to spend more time with Carrie. I was both pleased and devastated. Chase continued his efforts to win me over. I could tell they were starting to wear me down so when I told him I was thinking about leaving and he went into an absolute panic. He said there was nothing left for me at home and all of my suffering would be in vein if I went back now. I knew he was right but I couldn’t think of where else I could possibly go. I went to lie down in the bedroom and I started asking myself why me? Why did I always get handed a shit hand? I knew I needed to really get away and being with Chase was just making it more difficult. I turned on my real phone for the first time in over a month and a half and scrolled to a number I haven’t used in three years. My dad.

My message indicator continually blinked throughout our
brief conversation. They were all from Noah there was one a day for the first month and some sporadic ones over the last few weeks. They ranged from I love you and I miss you, to desperate pleas for me to come home and work things out.

“The ticket will be at the kiosk. I’ll have Harry come collect you from the airport. I’m glad you called Juju.” With that I hung up and headed out to tell Chase I was leaving.

“Chase, we need to talk.” I said looking at him watching a documentary.
He looked content. I hated myself even more.

“What’s up?” He put his hand out and pulled me so I was sitting his lap. I rubbed my hand on his cheek.

“I’m leaving.” I told him as I hugged him and thanked him for everything.

“You can’t leave. Please don’t leave me.” He pleaded. “I love you Jules. You’re my Noah.”
When he said that it tugged at my heart because that’s the kind of love that doesn’t just go away. I knew. A single tear fell from his cheek.