Second Chances (7 page)

Kristin perked up her eyebrows. “Friends, huh?” One step at a time, isn’t that what Ingrid said?

David smiled and released the white-knuckle grip around his beer. “That’s it, friends. Buddies. Mates. What do you say?”

He appeared as eager as a schoolboy for her answer. The tug of attraction she felt whenever she stared into his eyes for too long stirred up images in her mind better left dormant. Could she keep that under control in order to build a friendship? Perhaps it would be a good test of her newfound resolve to move on with her life.

Kristin tilted her head. “Well, I guess I don’t really have many friends myself here in London, and we do seem to frequent the same places lately.” What the hell, friendship helped her take a leap out into the world.

She raised her glass. “I say, let’s toast to new friends then. Cheers.”

“Cheers,” he smiled and lifted his beer.

The clink of their glasses joined the other jovial sounds of people socializing in the pub. David relaxed his shoulders and leaned back in his seat, in what she assumed to be relief.

“You were really nervous about telling me all of that, weren’t you?” She snickered at his apparent relief.

His forehead wrinkled adorably as his eyebrows arched. “Aye, wouldn’t you be? For all I knew, you would’ve chucked me out the door on my arse.”

Her snickers turned to all out laughter. “I guess it’s a good thing the wine has me feeling pretty mellow right now.”

“That was the idea,” he admitted, as he tapped his head with his index finger and nodded.

Good looking and funny to boot.
Friends, friendship, remember
. She was doomed, always a sucker for a man who could make her laugh, just as James had right up until the end.

There was a small tug at her heart as she thought about James, but David’s dimple gave her the strength to gently push it aside. There would be no sadness tonight.

Another sip of wine, then she shifted in her seat to get more comfortable. “Tell me about being an actor.”

He leaned forward, elbows on the table. “Well, it’s not as glamorous as most people think. Sure, I get to don costumes or travel sometimes, but mostly there’s a lot of waiting around while they set up the cameras for each shot. That’s precisely why I love the theater so much. There’s more of a chance to fully immerse myself in a character, because of fewer interruptions.”

“You sound like you really love it.” The transformation that actors so readily went through had always fascinated her.

“Aye, I really do.” He sighed. “The only thing I don’t like is not having the time to see my parents as often as I’d like.”

A family man, too. Could he get any more perfect?
Friends. How many times will I have to remember that?
“So are you close to your parents?”

David’s head bobbed in reply. “My Mum and Dad worked hard to give me a good childhood. And when I told them I wanted to be an actor, well, they made sure I could go to the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama. Said if that’s what I wanted, then I needed to go all the way for it.”

“They must be very proud of you.” Not that she would know what parental pride felt like. Her parents had spent all of their time tearing each other, and her, apart.

“Chuffed to bits, to hear my Mum speak of it, which is why I’d like to visit them more often.” David sat back in his seat again, his hands in his lap. “What about your parents? Have you seen them since moving to London?”

Kristin gasped. Now here was a subject she usually shied away from, not having had such a storybook childhood. Sometimes, she told friends her parents died, just so she wouldn’t have to talk about them.

But the glass of wine had calmed her nerves enough, and she had to start trusting more than Ingrid and James.

“I haven’t seen my father since I was twelve, and I haven’t seen nor talked to my mother since I moved to London.” She twirled the stem of her wineglass.

David leaned forward in interest. “Why is that?”

Kristin picked up her glass and downed the rest of her wine in one gulp. “My parent’s didn’t exactly have a peaceful marriage. Nothing my father did was ever good enough for my mother, and so over the years they fought, he drank, and then, finally, he left.”

Kristin closed her eyes as the wine hit her stomach radiating warmth throughout her body. Was it the wine that made it so easy to share her hidden side with him? The image of her drunken father on the front porch holding her shoulders telling a poor twelve-year old girl, “I’m leaving because of you and your damn mother,” flashed through her mind.

Abandonment by the man she’d loved ruined her trust in other people so many years ago. Only James helped her through the pain.

Her eyes opened slowly. “My mother blamed me for my father leaving. Without him there, all of her anger shifted to me, so I spent the better part of my teenage years trying to live up to the same impossible standards that drove my father away.”

“That must have been horrible for you.” David’s eyes held tenderness and concern.

Kristin laid her hands flat on the table and tried to keep them from shaking. These memories brought up the despair, helplessness, and worthlessness she had spent years locking away. All of these were forever entwined with her childhood.

“I guess it was, but it was normal to me.” The raw pain of letting go a piece of her past didn’t hurt as much as she thought it would.

David’s hand moved across the table and grasped hers gently. “So what changed then?”

“I met James.” She smiled and her heart filled with joy and pain at the same time. “I was in my senior year of high school, and this big, burly guy came and sat beside me one day, out of the blue. I never said a word, just stared at him like an idiot, because no one ever talked to me much.”

David’s thumb moved gently back and forth across her knuckles. Tiny sparks ignited across her hand at his touch, but the sensation reassured her too, a comfort for the soul baring she was attempting.

“James did this for a week, me still never saying a word. Then, finally, he asked me out on a date. I couldn’t believe someone thought I was worth taking out somewhere. Neither could my mother when I told her. Despite that, I accepted, and my life changed forever.”

David smiled and continued to rub her hand. Even though the glass of wine had warmed her body, his touch warmed her even more. He so easily made her believe she was safe while revealing so much about herself.

His long fingers squeezed her hand gently. “You still really miss him, don’t you?”

Her eyes focused on his fingers wrapped around her hand. It was right, her hand in his. Warm, comfortable, and exciting all at once.

Kristin raised her gaze to his once again. “I do miss him.”

Missing James would always be a part of her life, but she also knew it was time to find a way to move on. That man she loved had even made her promise, not that she kept that vow. Until now.

“I would have liked to meet him.”

“He would have liked to meet you, too. You have a lot in common.” Her lips curled into a smile tinged with sadness. They would have argued over beer, football, and the cultural impact of British humor on television.

Peering around, she noticed that most of the patrons had gone, which left only them and two other people. She stared at their joined hands on the table again, but this time, she glanced over at her watch. She pulled her hands away, maybe a little too quickly. Remember, they were only friends.

“Oh, my, it’s past one in the morning!” The time had flown. “I have to get home so I can get some sleep before work tomorrow.”

David let go of her hand and glanced at his watch as well. “Blimey, where has the time gone? I have to be at the theater tomorrow morning.”

Kristin headed out the door with David close behind her. It was another lovely spring night, a soft wind curled around her like a favorite blanket. The inky, black sky was speckled with stars, just as the glow from the street lights dotted the sides of the street. The fresh air was a welcome change from the smoky interior of the dark pub.

He bowed a little at the waist and offered Kristin his arm, which she gladly entwined with hers. They walked again in silence, but this time it was the comfortable silence that friends often share, not the awkward silence of strangers.

“Well, here we are.” Kristin stopped abruptly in front of her townhouse and removed her arm from David’s.

He gazed around, confusion clouding his handsome face. “I don’t understand. We’re back at the gallery.”

Kristin motioned with her hand toward a door on the left side of the gallery entrance. “That leads up the stairs to my place, which is over the gallery.”

He brought her hand to his mouth and lightly brushed his lips across her knuckles, then leaned forward. Electric volts shot through her hand and her heart raced once again. David’s head tilted closer to hers, his lips merely a breath away.

She was sure he was going to kiss her this time, and she longed for it, even if it meant things would grow complicated between them. Her body was tight with the tension of waiting.

David turned his head and softly kissed her cheek. When she looked deeply into his eyes, Kristin would have sworn she saw the same desire raging within him.

“Friends,” he whispered huskily.

“Friends,” Kristin echoed.

And with that, he turned to go, breaking the spell between them. Kristin’s heart dropped just a little, suddenly heavy with disappointment, as she watched him walk to his car.

She remembered that she had promised herself she would not fall for David, and as she stumbled next to that ever-present cliff again, she feared it may already be too late.

David opened his car door and turned back to her. “I’ll call you soon, okay? The gallery number, I assume?”

“Okay,” She stood and watched as he climbed into his car and drove away.

Across the street, a shadow caught her attention. Someone dressed with a fedora hat and heavy rain coat came out of the alley and walked toward the direction David had just taken.

As she turned back to her door, she had an odd sensation between her shoulder blades and looked back over her shoulder. Strange that someone was over dressed for the night.

Shrugging the feeling off, Kristin bounded up the stairs to her place. After fumbling for her keys, she managed to open the door, falling against the back of the door as she closed it.

To just go out and do something most normal, single people dohave a drink and talk, had been nice. Granted, she might have opened up a little more than she intended, but those baby steps had to start somewhere, right?

Sighing, she undressed and readied herself for bed. The bedcovers warmed her as she crawled under them, willing her mind to be silent so she could get some much-needed sleep.

Could she really make a place for David in her life? Was she even ready for a friendship, let alone anything else? A couple of weeks ago, the thought of ever being close to a man again terrified her to the point of panic. And now here she was, contemplating feelings of doing just that, be it friendship or something more.

All of these thoughts swirled around in her head, banishing the chance of a peaceful night’s rest. Exasperated, she threw back the covers and sat up.

“This is useless,” she muttered and headed for her studio. As she opened the door, she had the sinking feeling that this wouldn’t be the only sleepless night in her near future.

~~~

Damn it, damn it, damn it!
David cursed to himself silently as his car pulled away from where Kristin stared after him. He had almost lost control of himself just then, holding her hand and staring into her lovely dark eyes.

When he inhaled, he swore he could still smell her perfume, a bouquet of roses that invaded his senses. As they’d stood in front of her gallery, it was all he could do to keep from grabbing her and crushing her to him, claiming her enticing mouth in a passionate kiss.

Images of her pressed beneath him and her body surrendering to his, flashed through his mind, making him want to discard all reason and sanity. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, his slacks suddenly too restricting.

David took a shaky breath and tried to concentrate on the road in front of him. How was he supposed to keep up this ruse with Sophie, to pretend to still be engaged to her, when he had such strong feelings for Kristin? And, what about Sophie herself? No way could he let her know about Kristin. She tended to be a little over reactive sometimes.

At least he had told Kristin the truth about everything. When they met previously, it had killed him not be able to tell her the whole story about his relationship with Sophie. Kristin didn’t deserve to be lied to like that.

Friendship was all he could give her. His situation was too complex for anything more than that right now. Besides, it wasn’t fair for him to ask for anything more, even if that was exactly what he wanted.

Sighing, David located a parking spot in front of his building and parked. His fingers punched the appropriate button to his floor. As the lift ascended, he concluded that he needed a shower and some sleep.