Secondhand Purses (15 page)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

I walked out of the bank in a daze. The file of paperwork in my hand changed everything. I just kept looking at the piece of paper that displayed the account balance in my hand, expecting that at any given point in time, someone was going to just snatch it out of my hand, slap me across the face, laugh and run away.

I could open a bakery with this money, couldn’t I? I mean, I’d been saving money for six years, too, but I honestly never really expected that I’d ever have enough to open a bakery. Which meant I’d never actually ever looked into the costs associated with running my own business.

Thunk. Ow.

I had apparently walked into a brick wall. Except, this brick wall smelled like sexy man and its hands were holding on to my arms to steady me. And it was talking to me. I liked this wall.

“Alex, are you okay?”

I squinted against the sun to look into familiar chocolate brown eyes.

“Oh Lord, it’s you. Do you want to say it, or shall I?”

“Say what?”

“That we must stop running into each other like this.”

He laughed softly.

“It does seem to be our thing, doesn’t it?”

I just smiled at him and nodded, my brain already drifting from Nick to the account balance I seemed to have waiting at my disposal.

“Earth to Alex.”

I shook my head and looked up at him again.

“Huh?”

“You are seriously a million miles away right now, aren’t you?”

Eek.

“Oops, sorry. I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”

“I asked if you’d like to go grab a bite.”

“Oh, thanks, but, I’m kind of busy and not that hungry.”

My traitorous stomach chose that very moment to growl loudly in protest. I couldn’t lie, the word ‘food’ did crazy things to me.

Nick smirked and looked pointedly at my stomach, which made me subconsciously suck in my abs with all my worth to attempt to manage a flat stomach for once. I didn’t know if my abs flattened any, but I think I stood about four inches taller as a result.

“At ease, soldier. C’mon, let’s go. I know the perfect place.” He looped his arm through mine, giving me no other option than to follow along.

We must have made quite a picture going down Onset Avenue. Him pulling me along and laughing at me, me following and clearly grumbling about the whole thing.

I felt like I was in some weird time warpy Twilight Zone episode right now the way my life was. I mean, seriously? This shit never happened to people like me. This is the stuff that Lifetime or Hallmark movies were made of. Up till now it had been like I had a fairy godmother who was just waiting for me to hit rock bottom. Which meant that my fairy godmother might be a sadistic bitch with a drinking problem. Well. I guess she’d redeemed herself now. Like, a lot.

And the whole Nick situation? I really had no idea what to do about that. I had spent ten years hurting and hating him. It had become some sort of weird twisted habit to hate him. So much a habit, that now whenever I saw him, I instinctively wanted to hit him. I probably needed to get over that, because I was seeing him a lot it seemed. I knew that Onset was going to be small, based on what I read about it online, but I didn’t think it was so small that he was going to be almost in my back pocket all the time.

Then there was my traitorous heart. The one that was doing some sort of Latin infused happy dance every time I smelled his cologne, the same freaking cologne I think he wore when we were teens. The one that I could easily just pull out of my chest and hand to him and that felt like it would be the only thing that would make my heart happy. Except that was kind of gross and morbid and nasty. And maybe a little Goth.

My heart got hurt before. It was hurt so badly. I couldn’t risk hurting like that again, and letting myself fall for Nick all over again was me just setting myself up for feeling that pain. I couldn’t do it. I had to mentally toughen up. Who was I? I was Alex. The badass with an acidic, sarcastic bite. I was no longer simpering, romantic Vicki who fell for this gorgeous man ten years ago.

I was mentally chanting ‘
I am Alex’
and wasn’t paying attention so that when Nick came to a complete stop in front of me, I plowed into his back, nearly sending both of us flying.

He gave me the ‘are you
kidding
me’ look.

“Don’t say it. Don’t you even think it.” I pointed my finger in his chest which I could feel was shaking with his efforts to hold back the laughter.

“You ass.”

With that, his laughter broke out of him, a rolling, infectious laughter that had the corners of my mouth trying to turn up in a smile. I had to fight that smile.
I am Alex
.

I instead gave him my best mean Alex look. A total scowl with narrowed slits for eyes and a raised eyebrow. This was a perfected look. I really should have trademarked it or something. It was meant to strike fear into the hearts and souls of all those who gazed upon it.

I smirked internally as his eyes opened a little wider in surprise. That’s right, Nick. Fear me.

Instead, he chuckled softly and shook his head.

“You’re still freaking adorable.”

UGH. I punched his shoulder and my ego felt moderately better when I heard him grunt a little bit.

“You punch a lot, you know that? And you throw a decent right hook.”

“I took a lot of kickboxing classes in Atlanta.”

“You learned to punch like that in girly kickboxing classes?”

“Girly? Dude, you’ve obviously never been to kickboxing. I’m going to have to find a place around here that has a legit, nasty kickboxing class and take you there.”

“What, are you going to make me dress up in a leotard and a tutu, put on pink chick gloves and punch like a girl?”

“Did it feel like a little girl was hitting you a few seconds ago? If you think my right hook is good, you should experience my jab cross combo. I want to find a hard core, gritty gym where I can take you. We will do kickboxing side by side, and we’ll see how ‘girly’ you feel after the fact.” I smirked at him openly now, daring him to say no and wimp out of this challenge.

He smiled at me, looking victorious for some bizarre reason.

“Okay, it’s a date.”

Wait, what?

“No, it’s not a date.”

“You just invited me to go somewhere with you at some future point in time, did you not?” He looked at me with wide, innocent eyes. Almost angelic, even.

That rat bastard set me up.

“No, I invited you somewhere so I could kick your ass. Now, if you are into that sort of freaky shit as foreplay, well, okay then. We can call it a date. Nasty.”

I turned sharply as if I was studying this place he brought me, but it was totally meant to accentuate the bitterness of my statement.

A date. I’d freaking invited him to kickboxing and now we were going to have to go together and it would be a date. That was not my intention.

Once the dust in my mind settled, I actually looked at where he’d brought me.

A diner. My stomach resumed its arguments from before, once the smell of sizzling bacon permeated my thick skull. I loved diner food. Like, really loved it. I let out a small whimper of surrender. The white flag was up. I wanted food, so this discussion slash argument was going to have to be tabled. I was going to need this sustenance to keep my defenses up around Nick.

We slid into a perfect 1950s style diner booth, you know, with the sparkly vinyl seats and the tables that had that little boomerang design all over them? I was trying not to bounce up and down like a little kid in a candy store.

My eyes scanned the menu for my favorite thing. Two eggs, two bacon, two slices of toast. If there were hash browns or home fries as a part of it, that was like an added bonus. Victory! The Hungry Man’s breakfast. Sexist as hell, but who cared at this point. Not me.

I looked at Nick over the top of the menu. I was pretty sure whatever this thing was that he was trying to pull would be over as soon as he saw that I wasn’t getting cottage cheese and fruit, or some girly crap like that.

The waitress came and asked what we wanted.

“The Hungry Man.”

I looked at Nick in shock. We’d both said the same order at the same time. He just grinned at me. Damn.

The waitress walked away and we both sort of stared at each other. The silence was eating at me. We never had silence, at least not awkward silence. This silence was
so
awkward.

I bit my lip and kind of looked everywhere but at him. I was combing through my brain trying to come up with anything I could talk about with him.

“So do you…” We both started at the same time, then stopped. A brief silence followed and then laughter.

“Why is this so hard? It was never hard with us before.” Nick took a sip of his dark coffee as he waited for my answer.

“Maybe it’s just been too long. Maybe just too much hurt has happened that it can’t be like that with us again.” The words got stuck a little in my throat as I said them.

“You don’t want to go back to being us?” And there it was. The question that really was hanging around us like a fifty pound weight.

He looked at me expectantly. I really didn’t know what to say. I mean, I knew what he
wanted
me to say. He wanted me to proclaim that we would be fine, and that yes, I wanted to go back to sunshine and rainbows and sparkle farting unicorns. But, the truth was, I wasn’t sure that was possible. My heart wanted me to say ‘yes’, but my brain was currently sitting my heart down and giving it a stern talking to.

“I… I don’t know.”

The brightness in his eyes dimmed a bit, before he plastered a smile back on his face. I knew it was a fake one because it was only on his lips, and never met his eyes.

“Well, then, I guess I will just have to work hard to convince you.”

“Nick, I…”

“Okay kids, here we go, two Hungry Man breakfasts.”

I grabbed the salt and pepper, liberally dousing it with seasoning before digging in. Saved by the waitress.

“Mmmm, this is so good.” I said, looking at him with eyes that begged him to drop it.

He just watched me, the corner of his lips lifted in a half smile as he shook his head at me.

“Alright, Alex. I’ll table this conversation. For now.” He waived his fork in the air in mock surrender, indicating that this round went to me.

We ate in companionable silence for a few moments, until he looked at me with curiosity.

“So why were you coming out of the bank all dazed like you’d been hit off the head or something?”

Oh my Lord, I’d already forgotten about that.

“Nick, it was the craziest thing. I was in the house, and found the old recipe box. I had it in my mind that I wanted to make zeppole. So when I pulled out the card with the recipe on it, I thought something was off. On the back was a note from Nonna. I’ve been finding notes all over the place from her. But apparently, she had opened an account in both our names. I, oh man, I don’t even know how to say this because it makes it real and I’m not sure I’m ready for this.”

“Just say it, Alex.”

“I think I’m going to finally be opening Nonna’s bakery.”

CHAPTER NINETEEN

“Excuse me, I am sorry to pry, but I couldn’t help but overhearing. Did you say you are opening Nonna’s bakery? Are you Alex?”

Our waitress was standing over us with all sorts of hope and excitement in her eyes. Uh-oh.

“Uh, yeah, I think that I kind of am.” The more I said it, the better I was liking the idea.

“Oh, that’s wonderful. She used to talk all the time about this bakery you two were going to open together. Oh God, that’s probably an awful thing to say, considering. I am so sorry.” She reached out and gently touched my arm, apologizing, I’m guessing because Nonna wasn’t here to open it with me.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, I promise. Besides, it will be sort of like she’s there, even if not in person. So, it’s all good.” I waved off her concern, even though it did hurt. Nonna had put so much effort into us opening this bakery together, and apparently the whole freaking town knew about it. What was everyone thinking about me that I never came back to open it with her, that I had waited until it was too late? They probably all thought I was just here for her money.

“She would be so happy to know that you were going to do it. Any idea where? There are a few vacant stores on this street, or over on Union.”

Oh man, I hadn’t even thought that far, my head had just started working its way around the fact that I was going to do this. But I had to find a place, I had to find equipment, and inventory. I had to create a menu and maybe hire people and stuff. I had to have a name for it.

Oh. My. God.

“Alex, Alex, are you okay? Breathe, baby… breathe.”

I took a staggered breath of air. And held it. And then started feeling woozy.

“Let it out.”

I exhaled in a blast, weaving as I did so.

“Talk to me, Alex.”

I looked at him, blinking but unseeing. He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me sharply.

“Alex.” I looked in his eyes, feeling his concern for me. I nodded. Right. Pull your shit together, Alex.

“It’s just so overwhelming. I mean, two minutes ago I made the decision to go for it, and suddenly I have to find a space, get equipment, and get a name. It’s just too much. How am I supposed to do it all?” I worked furiously to blink back the tears that were threatening to spill. I was supposed to be tougher than this.

He cupped his palm to my cheek and leaned forward until he was so close that my eyes had to dart back and forth to view each one of his individually.

“That’s easy, Al. You just take it one step at a time.”

I nodded again, mulling over what he said. One step at a time. I could do that.

“I’ll have to make a list.”

“That’s a great start.”

“Did you just call me Al?”

“I may have, why?”

“Not sure if I’m okay with that, or if your manhood is at risk of meeting my knee again.”

“I will take that under advisement.”

“You’re insane.”

“And you are still adorable.” He leaned the rest of the way and kissed the tip of my nose. Ugh, that was so cute and sweet and everything I remembered from before but I just didn’t do cute or sweet anymore.

“First order of business, I need a location.” I said, after pushing him back in his chair, perhaps a little more forcefully than was necessary.

“So, let’s take a walk.” Nick stood up and grabbed his wallet out of the back pocket of his jeans. He pulled a twenty out of his wallet and tossed it on the table. He reached for my hand.

“Let’s go,
Al
.”

I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him, and waved at our waitress as I was pulled out of the diner.

I blinked against the glare of the sun as we walked outside. I looked up and down the street, trying to figure out the best direction to start.

“Nick, I don’t know anything about this area. How am I supposed to pick where I should start a business.” Panic started creeping back voice.

“Alex, you know this. You know how to get through all this. You know how to do this bakery.”

No, I really didn’t. I was so freaking frustrated with myself, I mean, who had I become? I was acting like that sniveling teen, Vicki, who I had been. That ended now.

“Okay. The question is, what would Nonna do. I need to know, what are the popular streets? Year round, not seasonally.”

“There’s my girl.”

I punched him in the arm.

“Who the hell are you calling ‘your girl’? Last I knew, we hadn’t spoken for ten years, we were working on rekindling our friendship and you were going to try to force me into wanting you as more, again. Decision
not
made, so definitely
not
your girl.” Yet. No. Stop it, heart. That was not happening, we were not going there. He was officially kind of friend-zoned.

“Yeah, okay, whatever you say,
Ms.
Edwards.” He looked up and down the street and then pointed to his right.

“Onset House of Pizza. You can’t go wrong being near there, it gets a crazy amount of business year round, plus it’s right near the water for the tourist traffic.”

“How much of a tourist attraction is it here?” I looked around a bit. I mean, it was a totally cute little town, but really? People would come here for their vacations?

He turned me by my shoulders and pointed beyond the buildings.

“You see that dark blue color? That’s Onset Bay. Which leads to the Atlantic Ocean. Which means there’s beach. Where there’s beach, there are tourists. You will learn to have a love hate relationship with the summer people. Meaning, you will love to hate them. Let’s go find you a bakery.”

We set off at a quick speed towards the intersection where Onset House stood. It was a perfect location, at the junction of Onset Avenue and Union Avenue. I could see the cute beach that Nick had spoken about before. But as cute as this area was, I remembered my first day here at the Canal, seeing that row of stores on the street that ran adjacent to the Canal. That looked like it would be so perfect, and what an awesome view for me to have from my work every single day.

“Why not Buzzards Bay, though, near the Railroad Bridge? That seemed like a really prime location.”

“You mean where all the antique stores are?” I nodded my assent.

He tilted his head as he considered my idea.

“I could see what you like it, and it is an area popular with locals and tourists alike, which is important. But one huge benefit to staying in Onset? Everyone already knows Nonna, so the name is instantly recognizable.”

Damn.

That was a great point. Ugh. I hated that he was right, but he was. I imagined that cute little street in Buzzards Bay and mentally waved good bye as it disappeared from my mind like smoke. Onset Avenue it was. If I could find a space.

We walked around for about five minutes, when I saw a little ‘For Rent’ sign in the lower corner of a window. I ran over to it, this time getting to be the one who dragged Nick along.

The windows had all been soaped out, so I really couldn’t get a great idea of the interior, but it was on the corner of Onset Avenue and Hotel Road, almost right on the water. It appeared to be an old Victorian style building, which was so freaking cute.

“It looks a little small.”

“I know, but to start I’m going to be my only employee. I wouldn’t have much room, probably, for people to hang out inside, but when the weather is nice, we can put cute little bistro tables and chairs for them to sit at.”

“We?”

Oops.

“You must have misunderstood, I said
me
.” I re-ran the sentence through my head with ‘me’ instead of ‘we’ and cringed. I totally said we and I was completely busted. Crap.

“Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that.” He grabbed his phone out and started tapping something out on the screen. I looked back at the building, picturing a sign out front, and a line of people dying to get in.

“Here.”

Nick had thrust a phone that was already ringing into my hand.

“What…what did you …”

“Hello?”

“Uh, hi, my name is Alex, and I’m standing in front of a little store front on Onset Avenue that’s for rent. Um, I was wondering if I could schedule an appointment to have a walk through?” I glared at Nick for putting me on the spot.

“Yes, of course! I live above the space, I’ll be down in two seconds.” The line disconnected and I handed Nick his phone back in confusion.

“Well?”

“Apparently we will be getting the tour now.”

“Now?”

At that point a barely five foot tall ball of energy burst out the door on the side.

“Hi, I’m Eve. I’m the person renting out this space. I hope you don’t mind me pushing you to a showing right now, but, well… we’re all here, right? No time like the present.”

“Yeah, no time like the present.” I repeated, lamely.

She fumbled through a huge ring of keys before holding up one to me with a smile.

“Found it.” She sounded victorious. I gave her a weak smile and a thumbs up.

The door opened with a creak. The place was almost pitch black, but the light from the door being opened showed a lot of dust floating in the air, and an area that looked as if it hadn’t been touched in decades.

“Oh, hold on, let me find the light switch.” Eve fumbled a bit, turning switches on and off until the place finally illuminated.

“Sorry, I really don’t know the space all that well. It was my grandparent’s old shop. They’ve been gone for about three years. I finally decided it was time to put it up for lease.”

Interesting.

I walked around, and could start to see my bakery being in this place. I could easily clean up the counter area and update the display. If I squinted just right, I could already see my pastries filling the brightly lit glass cabinet. The space was bigger than it looked from outside, so I estimated that I could fit three or four small tables inside for people to sit. I would paint the wall to the left of the counter in chalkboard paint, and write out the menu there. The small bump out, which probably hid pipes and stuff, would be perfect for daily specials.

I closed my eyes for a moment, imagining the line of people at my counter. I could see the boxes tied with the red and white string, stacked in their arms as they left the bakery with smiles on their faces. I could even hear the bells that I would affix above the door jingling as they left.

I opened my eyes and turned to Eve, who was standing there with a hopeful smile on her face.

“How much is the monthly rent?”

“Two thousand a month.”

Yikes. That seemed high. I bit my lower lip and took a small step back.

“But, you seem super nice, so how about eighteen hundred.” I looked around one quick time. I walked over to the counter and leaned over, looking behind it. Everything was really old, but still functioning. A little elbow grease, a lot of cleaning and a few coats of paint would do this place wonders. I wasn’t too worried about it being out dated. Retro vibes would probably be really good for this place.

You know what, I had a crap ton of money sitting in an account. Go big or go home. I really loved this place and I thought Nonna would, too.

“I’ll take it.” I slapped my hand on the counter to accent my acceptance of this place, and ended up inhaling a ton of dust, which sent me into a sneezing fit.

Eve was jumping up and down like a little girl.

What had I done?