Secret Love (12 page)

             
             
             
             
             
22.Chapter

„
Brandy... what to  hell l gets rid with you... why... you pack your things??“
Sita looked at me aghast as me in her flat stormed... in a hurry my things packed and silently along her wanted...
Sita held on me and shook my shoulder... her eyes a begging expression!!
Shaking I took her hand of my shoulder.
„Sita... we... we must separate us.... it... it has no more value with us... “my voice sounded hot and fragile.
To me almost the heart broke them to leave...
However, I loved them about everything... I thought of manager Griffith threat.
Keep far from Sita or I will give notice to her and for it provide... that Sita nowhere more an employment receives!!!!
No... I energetically stretched the chin high... Sita should not lose this good-paid-up position.... because of me!!
Now all this went for me by the head as me exhausted and erodedly in the train sat.
Nevertheless, Sita called to me something else after... I did not look back any more. All the time words resounded to me manager Grifftih continually in my head....
I will discontinue Sita without notice... if you are seen even once in Sitas nearness.
The train stopped and I got out freezing.
It was late at night and in my area sombre mood ruled yet like on the day. Now  it was a dangerous time... then was the hour of the way wars, drug fights and dealer's time.
In the protection of the darkness one could hide from the unpredictable cops better. Almost every black could sing a song with us how often he was stopped without reasons and was humiliated by the cops and was often even knocked together...
The cops often gave to themselves a regular pleasure from it to give the respectable black fear.
Frustration and aggression behind it because was mostly with this perverted little play the real gangsters or drug barons for a long time wind of her presence have agreed and of course over all mountains had disappeared.
With shaky legs completely exhausted I dragged myself on home. Actually, I left only my school things there and clear out as fast as only possibly again.
However, who opened.... Danell....
Haughtily grinning he leant carelessly in the door during a glittering necklace swankily on his breast was resplendent.
In the background hard vague beat.... Gangster's rap of the finest one.
„What the hell will you here man...?“ besides, he moved in the joint and stared at me with glazed eyes.
„Shut up and leave me in!“ I hissed and squeezed along him.
I recognised small 2 room flats not again... it looked here like in a den of robbers.
Closer of stale air passed through from cigarette smoke and the mawkishly heavy smell of hashish obscured to me almost the view.
In my room nothing but foreign types with broadly grinning tarts hung around. All my beloved books had disappeared... only the gone yellow poster of Michael Jordan hung in scrap of the wall.
Beside the bed a decayed couch with fire holes was still put up littered and a Playstation.
It was the only one what anew the carpeted floor looked... completely muddy and stinking... no this was not my beloved room.
„Is gladly the Mom at the work is.... that now would turn to you flatly the neck.“ Danell grinned arrogantly.
Even as I I turned round around this filthy flat as fast as only possibly to leave... rose the door and who appeared....
„What do you want here... you grind condemned??“
Mom stood suddenly threateningly before me. her eyes glittered maliciously.
Her face lean and sunkenly., however, this look... unfathomable hatred.... her whole position spoke from what they of me thought.
„YOU have lost here nothing... look to you Danell in... he at least money brings home...“
Danell grinned broadly and changed a few looks with his way... unimpressed from the noise all around furthermore Playstation played.
Rattling shots were to be heard continuously with this idiotic computer game and even the children of my sister stared fascinatedly at the flickering screen.
When I wanted to answer something the word from with a jagged movement cut to me Mom and points unmistakably to the door...
“ Disappear you good-for-nothing... allows never again to look you here.Und take your damned books!!“
Bawling laughter accompanied me to the door. I appreciated neither Mom nor my sister on the lap of any type sitting  and violently herumknutschte a look.
Danell was with a sentence in the door and obstructed the exit to me.
“You can already stay here sister's heart... my mates.“ he pointed at the types me almost departed with her greedy eyes „... would not be declined. Fresh meat is here always with pleasure seen.“
Silently I squeezed along him and threw the front door crashing behind myself,
Helplessly I sat down on the stairway step and left my tears free run.
I never felt at this moment so lonely... and a question whirred to me constantly in the head...
Where did I have to go now there?
I was homeless... this was certain.
I would never enter once again this flat..... I swore to myself.Dann, nevertheless, rather somewhere on a park-bench.
Sadly I thought of Sita.....
I felt frightfully blank... without them.
But... I heaped myself high... this decision to leave the school was the right one. Dear the poverty here get through as every day Sita meet without with her just one word to be able to change... no I shook sadly the head.
Then to have to lead to finish rather this respect than to have to lead them on distance.
Keep far from Sita or I will give notice to her and for it provide... that Sita nowhere more an employment receives.
Completely exhausted I lay down on a park-bench and hoped at night rest to find. However, I spent no eye.
It was bitter cold.... a frosty wind durchpflückte my clothes. The cold ate by Mark and leg and tooth-clattering I waited longingly to the morning broke.
As the sun her soft rays over my face stroked I winked and stood up in a hurry. Confused I looked me around... bald hopeless concrete blocks all the same where one the head also turned...
A lonesome plastic bag hopped under my park-bench out. Stinking garbage bags they lay around heedlessly and were swarming only thus with rats.
The stench blew to me in the face and to me went off thus that I me almost had to hand over. Bit by bit the events of the yesterday's day occurred to me again and again I could not hold back my tears any more.
My whole dreams seemed like soap bubbles to have burst. To heavy hearts I stared to the Court and looked at the rusty ring in the wind forking out clattered.
The whole area made a dreadfully hopeless impression and in me it looked not different also. I did not try to think of the future... I decided to look first of all for a suitable night's lodging.
The whole day I sauntered aimlessly by the hopeless area in search of a quiet and dry place for the night.
When I the old school saw.... an idea occurred to me...
I knew the janitor well... often he did not leave me in winter in the heating space if I at home endured....
„Yes no problem!“
Janitor Bob grinned and wheezing „. You know where the heating space is... Are you not on a private school...?
Again I tried to hold back the climbing up tears... Janitor Bob looked at it to me and comforting hit to me on the shoulder.
He knew me already from child... and knew as hard I it at home had. Therefore, he also got me this place where I could write undisturbed and could learn for the school.
Briefly I told Bob a light version about my decision.Schweigend he listened and nodded over and over again in the confirmation.
When he itself adopted ones turned round he once more briefly and looked at me smiling.
„Brandy... this was the right decision. I at your place would have just acted!“
Later than I my night's lodging hit and in the darkness on the confidential droning of the machines listened in... I thought of Bob Antwort...
Painfully the vicious comments of trainer Maria occurred to me... Melissa underhand grin. Mr. Graham him no opportunity let out to give me the feeling I am a complete failure...
Only Mc Cain was unprejudiced.
He gave me to give this chance my best.Für him I was a person all the same which skin colour or origin...
But it was an exception... for the majority I was only one blacks from the ghetto.Und here... here I was no right black again...
Over and over again I had to do myself from my friends if I a visit gives... allow to listen that I to me like a whiteness would deprive. and generally I would have forgotten my roots...
Where did I belong then now???
Neither in the rich white  world of major's college nor in my old native country... was my place.
The only place where I me felt really securely was …. with Sita.
If I with her was together there was no white or black world..... no. gave just our world.

Before I in worried dreams sank.... I thought of Sita... It was my great love... I missed them so painfully.
I sighed from the deepest hearts... and thought wistfully of the marvellous time we with each other spent.
But thus it was better...
Keep far from Sita or I will give notice to her and for it provide... that Sita nowhere more an employment receives.
Melissa had really created it I the school left. my dream of basketball surrendered and separated me from Sita because of love....
Quiet I wept myself in the sleep.... I did not believe any more in justice!!!
1 week later...
I had accepted a cleaning job...., however, went well only one day....
As the type me begrapschen wanted I defended myself and got as an answer the immediate notice.
I was next on the production line and also there it did not go long well.... some of the workers were turned on constantly by the boss and sexually none bothers he defended himself.

Als with me tried ones he got promptly an immense removal of me as a result he threw out me in a fury.
Furiously and does not frustrate because this pig to me sometimes had paid... I went to the Court.... and was not astonished badly... who there at the bank sat...
„YOU...??? What do you make then here?“
Sharon stared at me from gigantic eyes.
For one moment the language probably hit it to her.
I recognised them hardly again... her frizzy hair them earlier to delightfully artistic little plaits braided... was brushed flatly and... I was astonished... blond!!
„Hey Daisy... come here baby. Show  who can look in our area.“
Her  deep smoky voice resounded about the whole place.
Daisy smooched just violently with a type him there looked like one of these street- gangster. He carried wide floppy trousers, expensive brands Sneakers and a red tricot.
I recognised Daisy also hardly again....
Also she had coloured her hair blond, however. it went anyhow to the reddish. Probably a failed attempt.
She carried skintight miniskirt and wobbled with the arse as them me with piepsiger voice welcomed.
The embrace was noticeably chill...
Sharon not even made the attempt to welcome me with the usual slap.
She stayed down in more carelessly cool position on the bank smeared with graffiti.
What `s up Baby..... since when hats you again in our area darlings nail up??“ 
Sharon's eyes scrutinised me examining.
„ You are pregnant?“, I changed the subject.
Sharon twitched bored with the shoulders and chewed in the chewing gum.
„Is away... carried off...“ besides she made a dismissive movement of the hand.
In bewilderment I stared at them.
“Were these yours ….idea“, I stuck after.
„Nevertheless, you know her friend...“, Daisy occurred and laughed shrill.
Anyhow I did not get the feeling off them high was... under drugs stood.
„Here... take it ...“
Sharon got a bottle from the paper bag and began greedily. It was highly concentrated alcohol.
„Nope ...“I shaked the head.
I was still furious about the missing wage and wore no desire on even more quarrel..... such a society I could renounce.
Then rather only remained …
„Show one in....„
Sharon frotzelte and flashed with the eyes and put down a bad imitation of a spoilt school girl...
“.Oh no. leaves ... now, nevertheless, I am in a fine contact with the white people.!“  both Daisy and Sharon fell in the stupid laughter during the bottle the round made.
I felt more and more is absent on the place.
Were really my friends from child days???
„Already say what does to us yours honour  ? You could not be looked for a long time any more here...“
„The air here isn`t well enough... is not likely as Major -College in Vermont.“, giggled Daisy and took a gulp from the bottle.
Sharon nailed me firmly with a long look.
I gave way from... like should also explain I to the both what I had experienced everything in the world of the white?
„What is with you Daisy...?“ I tried to change the subject once more from the subject.
Daisy giggled stupidly and attached the bottle once more.
Shaorn left not laxly and now went directly to the attack....
„Oh now I know it.... you thought probably at bright moments... now look I sometimes after my friends Sharon and Daisy.“
Slowly she rose …
The mood threatened to tip over abruptly. also the remaining boys them bored hung around looked with interest over here and smirked. “Oh. see... a woman's fight. this is cool...“
„Nevertheless, you wanted all the time only your damned basketball!!!
You mean you are what better like we... because you do not smoke... and...“
a gulp from the bottle took again them.  „...not  Alcohol drinks.“ she held  the bottle  out to me provoking.
Suddenly she was founded threa teningly before me on... her eyes flickered before fury, frustration and resignation....
In silence I waited....
Every wrong movement could allow to step up the situation.
Sweat formed on my forehead.... my tongue felt viscous and difficult.
„Sharon... come again under its  OK... “I made an appeased gesture.“.. nevertheless.... we already know ourselves since the child days..., nevertheless, we have gone always through thick and thin.“
I searched in her face for a tip..., nevertheless, Sharon's face remained expressionless.
„You never were one of us...“
She pointed at me... her voice sounded strangely forking out.
Everything what you interested was only your damned basketball...“
Laboriously I breathed from.... and tried cool to remained...
“No... Sharon this is not right!“, I tried to sound very objective.
Sharon spitted contemptuously....
“ We...“, and they showed around with erratic movements. “... sit in this damned pigsty... during you on this white school .“
„And... you  already talks like the white...“, Daisy interfered.
In amazement I had her one look to... in a hurry it made way him and reached for the bottle.
Now the situation threatened to tip over completely.... any minute bottles could fly here... or even more badly one reached to the weapon.
I was completely delivered here.
If once drugs and alcohol was best of all in combination in the play, was to be calculated on all.... Then the people completely ticked from.
„Oh... only because she not all the time the pear curses and drinks... to itself away roars with the drugs... because she  till to her dreams believes????“
For one moment ruled breathless silence.....
Only a few empty beer cans clattered metallically in the wind.
I was like to the hydrochloric acid solidifies.... like in slow motion tempo I turned the head in the direction where this..... this strangely close voice came...
A pretty elegant woman stood like from chiselled there... her sari fluttered in the icy wind and left briefly a look freely on her breathtaking figure.
Their black hair was tied together and revealed a regular fine-curved face.
And then these eyes.... black like coal... glowed like an uncontrollable fire.
„SITA.“ ….I wispered unfähig just one tone to produce...