Secrets (9 page)

“Will you please excuse us?” Teri asked before he had gotten any kind of response from either of them. “We need to make a run to the little girls’ room before the meeting begins.”

Jessica followed her cue and walked with Teri down the hall to the faculty restroom. Half of her sandwich and a few more bites of potato salad were still on Jessica’s plate. Actually, her stomach must have shrunk in the past week due to her limited diet, and she found it hard to imagine how she was going to stuff the rest of the food into her mouth. But she couldn’t bring herself to throw away the food. Once they were inside the restroom, she decided to wrap the sandwich in a paper towel and stick it in her purse. She felt like a neurotic miser, but did it anyway.

“I suppose I don’t need to tell you to beware of Martin the Masher,” Teri whispered once they were safe behind the bathroom doors.

“He is something else,” Jessica said. “He reminds me of a mad scientist who experimented with lizards all his life and somehow got his molecules mixed up with theirs.” Jessica gave a little shiver. “Is he creepy but harmless? Or does he eat flies and slide under rocks when no one is looking?”

“I don’t know. I try to keep my distance.”

“To be on the safe side,” Jessica suggested, “why don’t we move our seats before the next round of meetings begins? I’ll feel a little better without him breathing down my neck.”

“Good idea,” Teri agreed.

They sat in the back this time, which gave them a little more room to nod off without being noticed. Jessica felt certain all the information they were covering was listed in the handbook and stack of orientation papers they had been handed the first day. She had skimmed the material already and had found
little reason for Charlotte to have to repeat everything.

After several hours of reviewing the information, Ms. Mendelson stopped mid-sentence and stared at the back door. Jessica looked over her shoulder. Kyle stood there in his firefighter uniform. She didn’t expect her heart to begin racing, but it did.

Kyle looked at Jessica and smiled.

“I don’t believe it,” Teri whispered when her eyes followed the trail of Kyle’s smile, and it landed on Jessica. “What?” Jessica whispered back.

“Nothing.”

Charlotte found her voice and instructed her staff to take a ten-minute break. She hurried to greet Kyle at the back door. Jessica stood and turned around, pretending to be stretching, but really trying to get a clear view of Kyle and Charlotte. Kyle lifted his clipboard and pointed with his pencil at the ceiling. Jessica guessed he must be in the middle of the fire inspection Charlotte had requested. So why did he need to consult with her?

“Very interesting,” Teri said softly.

“What?” Jessica asked, sitting back down and scanning Teri’s face.

Teri folded her arms across her chest, and tilting her head, she looked at Jessica as if seeing her in a brand new light. “I never would have guessed,” was all she said.

“Guessed what?” Jessica wanted to grab Teri by the shoulders and shake her so she would spill the mystery beans.

“Kyle told me last week that he had met somebody. I never guessed it was you.”

“What do you mean it’s me? He didn’t meet me. He rescued me. He must have been telling you about someone else.”

Teri shook her head. “Like who? Charlotte, maybe? I don’t think so, Jessica. Kyle didn’t tell me who it was, but after that
smile he just gave you, I know it’s you.”

Jessica felt the insides of her stomach begin to flutter. She had to put an end to this right now. “Teri, we’re talking like a bunch of high schoolers. We’re supposed to be mature teachers, remember? Not a couple of little crush cadets. They arrive on Tuesday.”

Teri laughed aloud, and several of the teachers cast a glance her direction to see what was so funny. “That was very good, Jessica! I’m going to remember that: ‘little crush cadets.’ I like that.”

Jessica had to smile. She hadn’t even realized that’s what she had said. Attempting to persuade Teri of her seriousness, Jessica said in a hushed voice, “Nothing is going on between Kyle and me, okay?”

Teri stopped laughing, but her smirk remained. “You know, Jessica, denial is a wonderful thing when you’re in pain. It’s
not
such a wonderful thing when you’re in love.”

“Pain?” Jessica questioned. She had learned a bit about pain lately. “Love?” she asked, secretly knowing that she knew very little about love. Then almost under her breath she said to Teri, “Aren’t they both about the same thing?”

Teri looked at Jessica, her expression turning more solemn. “I don’t suppose they have to be, but sometimes I suppose they are.”

Ms. Mendelson strode back to her podium and called the meeting to order. Jessica didn’t turn around to check if Kyle were still at his post at the door. It bothered her that she still felt fluttery in her stomach and decided the abundance of potato salad must be the cause. It certainly couldn’t be her emotions. If she couldn’t control those at age twenty-five, well then she might as well be a—what had she called them? Little crush cadets. Of course, Jessica
Fenton
could not risk anyone or anything controlling her, especially her own unruly emotions.

The meeting broke at nearly five o’clock. Jessica felt exhausted; she was eager to get home and collapse on the couch. But at the last minute she decided to return to her classroom for one of the textbooks she hadn’t finished looking over. When she opened the door, Kyle was standing on a ladder checking something in the ceiling.

“Hi,” he said warmly as Jessica entered the room.

“Hi. Everything okay up there?” She checked her tone of voice, expression, and body language, being careful to address Kyle as she would any random firefighter who might be lurking in her room.

“Yep. The sprinkler system checks out fine. So this is your room, huh?” he asked, coming down the ladder. Jessica wondered if he already knew that and had been waiting for her to return.

“Yes, this is my room.”

“Looks as if you’re all ready for the big day.”

“I need to look through one more of the textbooks,” she said, reaching for the book on the shelf behind Kyle. Why did she feel she had to explain to him her reason for being in her own room?

“So you’re going to be pretty busy tonight reading your textbook?” Kyle asked.

Jessica wasn’t sure what to say. She held the book to her chest, with her arms crossed, and looked down at her shoes. She knew what Kyle was going to ask her next, and she didn’t want to answer him until the blush had faded from her cheeks.

Just then the door to her room opened. “Hey, Jess,” Teri called out, “do you want a ride—” She stopped mid-sentence. “Oh hi, Kyle.”

Jessica turned to face Teri and tried to appear natural. She guessed the blushing hadn’t completely faded yet, because Teri raised her eyebrows and said, “I guess Kyle can give you a ride
home. If that wouldn’t be too much of a
pain
for you, Kyle.” Jessica caught the hidden meaning of Teri’s emphasis on “pain.”

“Sure,” Kyle obliged quickly. “I’d be glad to.”

Jessica shot Teri a look that said, “What are you doing to me?”

Teri only smiled back, nodded, and said, “Okay, so I’ll see you tomorrow, Jess. And I’ll see you whenever, Kyle. Bye, you guys.” With that, she disappeared.

“Did you need to get anything else?” Kyle asked as he folded up the ladder.

“No, this is it.” She walked back to the door with Kyle behind her, toting the ladder with one hand. Jessica gathered up her purse, handbook, and notes from the day, along with Teri’s aloe vera plant.

“Can I carry anything for you?” Kyle offered.

“No, I have it all. Thanks.”

They walked silently down the hallway. Several other teachers greeted them, calling Kyle by name and nodding at Jessica as if they recognized her but didn’t quite remember her name. She wondered if it looked as if she and Kyle were “together,” and she wished they would pass Martin Monroe. She would love to give Martin the impression she wasn’t available.

Kyle returned the ladder to a storage closet near the front door, and they exited together. Jessica adjusted the awkward cargo in her arms and started down the front steps. On the fourth cement step, her left leg wobbled, and she nearly fell. Kyle reached for her elbow and gently held on to her, steadying her steps the rest of the way.

“You sure I can’t hold that plant for you?” he asked.

“Thanks, but I have it,” Jessica said stubbornly. Kyle released her elbow.

They were almost to his white truck in the parking lot
when Charlotte came sprinting up behind them, her spike heels clicking on the asphalt. She must have spotted them leaving from her office window. Maybe she saw Kyle holding Jessica’s elbow.

“Kyle, you didn’t check out at my office.” She caught up with them and positioned herself between Jessica and Kyle, with her back to Jessica. Charlotte said sharply, “You must come back to the office so I can sign the papers.”

Jessica couldn’t help but cough when the overwhelming scent of Charlotte’s perfume met her nostrils. Either she had just doused herself, or the jog to the parking lot had activated the fragrance at her pulse points.

Kyle explained that he had returned the papers to the office already and that Mrs. Blair, the secretary, had put them in Charlotte’s office. As Charlotte continued to try to persuade Kyle to come back with her and show her where they were, Jessica realized that Kyle had, indeed, already completed his inspection and was waiting for her in her room. Teri might actually be right. Maybe Kyle was interested in her in more than a benevolent way.

Jessica wanted to feel flattered, but she couldn’t allow herself the luxury. Instead, she thought she should run away, leave Charlotte and Kyle in the parking lot, and walk home, ignoring both of them and refusing to deal with the emotions either of them evoked in her. She would watch for her little squirrel friends and think up stories and feel nothing for real people. That was the only safe place for her to be.

Before she had a chance to act on her impulse, Kyle stepped around Charlotte and gently took Jessica again by the arm. He said, “I’m sure you’ll find the papers on your desk. If not, Mrs. Blair can direct you to them.”

“But we haven’t discussed the assembly,” Charlotte said, following them to the truck.

“I arranged it with Mrs. Blair. Twenty-minute talk at 9:30 on Tuesday, September 28. It’s a standard career presentation.” Kyle unlocked the passenger door and assisted Jessica into the cab. He closed the door and walked around to his door. Charlotte followed him. Kyle politely said, “Good day,” got into the cab, and started the engine.

Charlotte Mendelson’s gaze left Kyle, and she caught Jessica’s glance. She shot Jessica a venomous expression. For an instant, Jessica felt her hair bristle, but then she forced herself to look away, breaking the poisonous spell. That woman would
not
control her.

Kyle drove slowly out of the parking lot, opening the glove compartment, taking out a pack of cinnamon flavored gum, and offering Jessica a stick.

“No thanks.”

Kyle unwrapped his piece while holding the steering wheel with his thigh. Soon the cab filled with the faint scent of cinnamon. Jessica remembered when Kyle had leaned into her car and instructed her to breathe slowly. The cinnamon scent on his breath had comforted her then, and it soothed her now.

Kyle turned down Marigold Lane and then ventured to ask Jessica, “Are you going to be busy tonight, then?”

“I really do have a lot I need to do.” Jessica was beginning to dislike herself and the aloof role she was playing.
Whatever you do, Jess, don’t look at him. If Charlotte’s look can make your skin crawl, Kyle’s could certainly make your heart melt. Don’t let it!

K
yle pulled up in front of Jessica’s little cottage and turned off the truck’s engine.

“Thanks for the ride,” Jessica said, trying to let him know she appreciated his kindness, even though she couldn’t return his interest in her. Jessica opened the truck’s door, collected her things, and began to step out. Her left leg gave way as she placed her weight on it. Reaching for the door to steady herself, she clutched the plant while half her loose papers fluttered to the ground.

Kyle sprang from his side of the vehicle and dashed around to help Jessica regain her balance. “I’m okay,” she said, refusing his helping hand. “My leg still stiffens up. It must be from sitting all day.”

“Let me carry these for you,” Kyle said, gathering the papers before the wind had a chance to scatter them. Jessica thought it would be ridiculous to refuse his assistance for such a small thing. She made it to the front door without further mishaps.

As they walked inside, the smell of last night’s burnt zucchini greeted them. She hoped Kyle wouldn’t notice. But then, he was a firefighter.

“Did something get burned in the kitchen recently?” Kyle asked, sniffing the air like Smoky the Bear.

“It was only some zucchini I overcooked last night. Nothing, really.” Jessica hoped he would leave it at that.

“Do you have a smoke detector in there?” Kyle wandered into the kitchen.