Secrets for Secondary School Teachers (20 page)

Usually, all disciplinary actions call for a written report. Make sure you keep the needed forms within arm’s reach. Once there is some altercation, you will want to maintain fluid motion rather than be seen fumbling around. Remember again: This is a drama that is unfolding that is usually far more interesting than what you have planned for class that day. Keep in mind who is watching. Don’t show disgust, frustration, anger, or other negative emotions on your face. Don’t let students know that you’ve been rattled. It is just a game, and you are playing your role.

If you must exile a student from your classroom, do so as quickly and smoothly as you can. Do not raise your voice, even if the student screams at you. Remain infuriatingly unruffled, repeating again: “You are out of control. You must leave. Now. We will talk about this at another time.” You will probably need to give the student a hall pass.

If the student refuses to comply—a very rare situation—the first step is to call for reinforcement. Meanwhile, direct the rest of the students to engage in some activity so they aren’t frozen in the role of an audience watching a drama unfold. Instruct the class to work with partners or in groups, some activity that increases the energy and noise level and helps them to work off the vicarious stress they will have experienced watching one of their classmates appear humiliated.

In any discipline policy, you must enforce rules consistently, fairly, and dispassionately. This is not personal—it’s not about you; it’s about teaching the offender, and the rest of the class, about maintaining order and appropriate boundaries for the sake of everyone’s safety and comfort.

T
AKING
A
CTION

Taking part in a fight earns an automatic referral to the dean or principal’s office in most schools. Both or all participants must be sent. Call for security, or send a reliable student to get
support, and caution the other students away from the fight for their safety. Get help; do not try to break up a fight yourself: You may get hurt. Many well-intentioned teachers, even those who are quite large and strong, have ended up quite bruised, physically and emotionally, when they have tried to break up fights on their own. In some cases, the student(s) might even turn on you.

The unruly student—the one whose parents you’ve talked to three times, the one you’ve warned three times in class, the one who steps over the line with her distractions—will have to be exiled to the dean’s or principal’s office if you are to continue instruction successfully. Take time to write the referral carefully. Many people will see your description of the situation. Use legible handwriting with attention to grammar and spelling. A copy of the form will become part of the student’s discipline folder.

You will have a couple of choices to make in how to handle the situation. You can call the student to your desk, or you can walk over to him or her. Be prepared for the student to act out in some way. She may read the referral out loud. She may protest unfair treatment. She may promise to be good and stop talking. Hold your ground. It will be over in a minute. The student will leave, the noise will subside, and you will be able to resume the activities you planned for the period.

If you are suspicious about whether the student will show up at the office, send an escort along. If the student refuses to go, call for help. Schools have students log in their arrival times to keep track of them. Follow up at the end of the day to see that the student did sign the log and what consequences were implemented by the dean or principal. This will also allow you to check to see if other teachers have been having trouble with the same student. If that is the case, you may wish to consult with colleagues to coordinate some future action to prevent other problems.

After the altercation itself, you may wish to discuss the matter with the class, if that is appropriate and there is some lesson to be learned. You do not owe the students an
explanation, but sometimes it is helpful for morale to talk about conflict, resolution, and feelings. They have been witness to a “power play.” Younger students may need help interpreting the situation, analyzing options, and understanding authority. They may benefit from a brief respite themselves before they are able to turn their attention to their work.

In unusual situations in which you feel emotionally overwhelmed or injured, ask for relief. An administrator, a teacher with a free period, or an aide from another room can come in for a few minutes to give you a break, time to collect your thoughts and feelings and figure out how to approach the students.

P
ROCESSING THE
E
XPERIENCE

Conflicts can be viewed as an opportunity for growth. They teach you about your own limits. They underscore issues of power and control. They bring to your attention unresolved issues that you may need to examine more closely. They regulate distance in relationships when one or more parties may feel threatened by intimacy. The important thing is to reflect on what happened during the altercation, what the conflict or disagreement or acting out was really about. Consider the following possibilities:

•   The student was after attention and was willing to win it at any cost.

•   A power struggle ensued because each of you was determined to win control.

•   The student felt disrespected and felt the need to assert him- or herself.

•   The student was acting inappropriately, asking for some intervention.

•   The student was manipulative, controlling, and game playing, enjoying the challenge of getting underneath your skin.

•   Things escalated out of control because the student was asking for direction, structure, or limits that you weren’t able or willing to provide.

•   The problem behavior was triggered by your asking the student to do something that he or she was unable to do.

•   One of your buttons got pushed, and you overreacted.

•   The student displaced anger toward you that was really directed elsewhere (a parent or other authority figure).

•   You misinterpreted the situation, and the person you disciplined wasn’t the primary culprit.

These are just a few of the possibilities. Usually, the situation is so complex that a number of factors are operating, some that involve the student, some that involve others in the class or in the student’s life, and some that involve you and your own personal issues related to power and control. Most often, there is some interactive effect operating, and each of the participants in the struggle had some role in its genesis and maintenance.

For you to learn from the experience, you must reflect on what happened, what you did that may have exacerbated the problem, what you could have done differently, and what parts had nothing to do with you whatsoever. This is a very difficult task to undertake alone. It is far better to consult with a colleague to help you unravel the predicament.

A good place to begin in your learning process is to check with the dean or assistant principal who handled the matter. See if there is any background information related to the student’s behavior that is relevant to the episode in the classroom. Find out how the situation was resolved in the office. Most important, arrange some time in which you can meet with the student or parents (or both) to debrief the episode and smooth things over for the future. You do not want to be stuck with an enemy in your class who is committed to revenge and payback for some perceived injustice.

Unfortunately, with some kids, there is little you can do to put things behind you. He or she enjoys the power that comes from remaining obstinate and disruptive, from challenging authority figures; the acting out becomes intrinsically rewarding
for the student no matter what you do. With some cases, you will just have to accept the limits of what is within your control. It does take two committed parties to heal a rift. Whatever happens, you must let go of things and move on. Almost every week, if not every day, there will be some similar episode. You must develop your own ways to handle and process these struggles, to not take them personally; they simply come with the job. No sense in complaining about them too much (as some teachers do); that doesn’t change things either and will only make you bitter. Accept the reality that in almost any class you teach, there will be a few individuals who are singularly unpleasant—no different than anywhere else in the world where there are always a few people who seem to thrive on making others’ lives as difficult as they can.

W
HEN THE
S
TUDENT
R
ETURNS

Whether a private conference with the offending student has taken place or not, there will be a critical time when he or she returns to your class. This could occur the next day, in a few days, or even the following semester.

You will want to avoid future repetitions of the same problem. At the same time, you want to reconnect with the student in such a way that you both can forgive, forget, and move forward. It is truly amazing, sometimes, how your best relationships with kids will evolve from these conflicts.

I (Jeffrey) worked with one student who was my worst nightmare. He had a smart mouth. He was always questioning things, and he couldn’t seem to sit still for long, always in motion. Truth be told, he was a lot like me.

Initially, I tried to bring him under control, but to no avail. I tried everything I could think of to stop him from being disruptive in class. Nothing worked. I consulted with many colleagues to get advice, but perhaps this young man had his own confidants as well: Every time I came in with some new discipline strategy, he would change his own approach. He always seemed to be a step ahead of me.

We butted heads throughout the year. I spent an embarrassing amount of time thinking about him, feeling inept and incompetent. It felt like he saw through me, that he knew I was a fraud, that I didn’t really know what I was doing. Actually, a part of me secretly admired him because he was confident and assertive.

In time, I came to really value this boy’s contributions to my class. He remained slippery and unpredictable, at times even incorrigible. I never did develop any consistent discipline plan to bring him under control. But over time, that didn’t seem to matter much. We eventually developed a deep respect for one another, to the point where he actually became my favorite student. The turning point for me was confronting my own need to beat him in this battle of wills.

When the student does return to your class after being sent to the office or suspended, try to make sure the reentry is as comfortable as possible. Let the student know if the seating in the classroom has been changed. Inform the student about what topic is being covered. Be attentive without being solicitous. Try to structure things in such a way that you can avoid future confrontations.

R
ESPECT

I (Cary) think teachers should find a balance in the ways they discipline. The best way to keep students from acting out is to make them respect you by setting specific expectations. If I respect my teacher a lot, then I’m not going to create many problems.

One teacher was just too nice. She made threats, but she never carried them out. She didn’t do what she said she would. Over and over, students would do crazy things and she was powerless to stop anyone. Everyone took her as a joke. Nobody really learned much in that class. We liked the teacher, but we didn’t respect her.

Respect is a two-way street. The teacher must also take into consideration the feelings and needs of the students in the room. Teenagers react well to reasonable explanations. The language you use to speak to the students, as well as your tone of voice, send potent messages to the class. An initial discussion of class rules and the school discipline policy, combined with conscientious planning and thorough preparation on your part, will limit the opportunities difficult students will have to test you.

  13  

Getting Involved in Activities

O
n one hand, you will have plenty to do just staying on top of your assigned classes. The last thing you need as a brand-new teacher is added responsibilities and commitments at school. On the other hand, some of the most enjoyable and satisfying interactions you will ever have with students will take place not in the traditional classroom but in extracurricular activities related to school clubs and sports, competitions, and career and social organizations.

Although it would be far better for you to get involved slowly in various school activities (especially if you are going through an induction program), possibly even waiting until your second or third year on the job, an opportunity may arise that is too enticing to pass up: A coach or club adviser unexpectedly quits, and you are invited to take over the group. The principal approaches you with an invitation to begin or continue a particular school organization, and it wouldn’t look good for you to turn it down. Or perhaps you just have this burning desire to make a difference in kids’ lives in a setting that isn’t as restrictive as the traditional classroom.

A
CTIVITY
A
DVISER

The things teachers most dislike about their classroom jobs are that they are constantly called on to keep students on track, to evaluate their performances, and to keep order and discipline. Furthermore, the participants in a classroom are not often volunteers; they have not really chosen to be in your classes. In the case of extracurricular activities, students
choose
to devote their own time to participate in the enterprise. Although some students have hidden or disguised agendas not related to true devotion to the activity, they still have a degree of motivation that prevents most discipline problems. For instance, even those students who are participating in debate or a community service organization for less than altruistic reasons—because they want to beef up their resumes, please their parents, or hang out with friends—are still there voluntarily.