Authors: S.M. Donaldson
For my military family. We have a bond that most will never be fortunate enough to understand. You will always have my love.
"The Silent Ranks"
I wear no uniforms, no blues or army greens
But I am in the Army in the ranks rarely seen
I have no rank upon my shoulders - salutes I do not give
But the military world is the place where I live
I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get
But my husband is the one who does, this I cannot forget
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line
But my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind
My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man
And the call to serve his country not all can understand
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me
I love the man I married, Soldiering is his life
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the Army Wife
Secrets In Battle
All rights reserved. This Book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased or publicly performed or used in any form without prior written permission of the publisher.
Thank you for respecting the work of this Author.
Secrets in Battle is a work of fiction. All names, characters, places and events portrayed in this book are either from the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, with exception to brand names, Artists named, and their song lyrics, and direct quotes from movies whose titles have been named. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Copyright © 2014, SM Donaldson
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little note from s.m. Donaldson
Let me start by saying that as a military spouse, PTSD is something that is very near and dear to my heart. My husband and I were only 21years old when he was sent on his first deployment. A deployment that was supposed to just be a support mission in Kuwait. That support mission turned into a combat mission on March 20, 2003, when he and his unit were among some of the first soldiers to invade Iraq. This was a thirteen month long deployment with no R&R for him.
I can still remember watching
the news on pins and needles, waiting for every phone call and driving home from work every day at lunch to check the mail just in case there was a letter in there. I probably spent over $10,000 between food, snacks, hygiene products and postage to send care packages. At this time, there weren’t PX/BX’s set up for the soldiers to buy items. All of them were sent from home. I also made some of my best and closest friends throughout this deployment with soldiers and spouses.
I was so excited for him to return home, all put together and in one piece. The only thing is, no matter how much they prepare you in the Return and Reunion Briefings for the battles that may still be occurring in their minds
, you and your soldier are never completely prepared.
Dealing with PTSD is an ongoing battle for a soldier. It isn’t a wound that can be seen from the outside.
I was lucky that my husband’s process of working through the biggest issues only took 9 months. He still has moments of anxiety and fear. I’ve learned how to help him and draw attention away from the problem, whatever it may be.
Some soldiers can’t manage to get through it and turn to vices to help. Some feel as if they’ll never be able to deal with it and take their own lives. I’ve watched all the different scenarios play out.
It’s not just the soldiers dealing with the issues, it’s the family, too. The stress from being a sounding board or a caregiver can be a lot on a loved one. I’m a firm advocate for Family Readiness Groups in the military and counseling for everyone involved.
This story was personal and sometimes hard for me write. I felt a little too close to it.
There were parts of this story that were hard for me to write and even harder to relive in my mind. When it was complete though, I was glad that I slaved through it. I hope you have enjoyed Judd and the rest of the Savannah characters as much as I have enjoyed bringing them to you.
If you know a solider or a soldier’s family who is having trouble, please share these websites with them.
A Year Ago…
Going out with Ryder tonight was what I’d been looking forward to this week. I have an upcoming deployment and it’s my first one at my new job, this is going to be my last mission with my old squad. Going into Special Forces has always been my goal, but it’s still nerve racking to actually be doing this.
Ryder has been going on and on about the chick he’s doing community service with
. When he sees her friend’s car in the parking lot, he practically jumps out of his jeep.
We make our way inside and he scans the room. We grab a beer from the bartender and he looks at me. “Judd, I may need you to keep that little raven-haired beauty on the dance floor busy tonight.” He says, pointing to the blonde girl’s friend.
Fuck me, she is a raven-haired beauty. Holy shit, she’s hot. I will definitely take one for the team on this. “Damn bro, I don’t think that’ll be a problem for me.”
She’s sexy, and way too classy for the shithole we are in
. I see her walk over to the bar to grab another drink and George Strait’s
pipes through the speakers. The ultimate
get a hot chick in a bar
I walk up to her
. “Hey beautiful, would you join me on the dance floor?”
She looks up at me with her big green eyes
. “Wow, a gentleman. I sure will.” Sitting her drink down with her friend, she takes my hand.
We make our way on to the dance floor
. “I’m Judd. What’s your name?”
“So, what do you do
“I’m in nursing school and I’m a princess.” She says with a cute drunken smirk.
I burst out laughing. “Well, what kingdom are you the princess over?”
“I’m the princess in my
family. My parents are loaded, my mom is Queen Bitch and I have four older brothers who are the court jesters. So I’m the princess, I’ve been in training since I was in princess panties.” She shrugs, being a smartass. “What do you do, besides being completely mouthwatering hot?”
I grin. “I’m in the Army, right now I’m stationed just over at Ft. Stewart. I grew up around here, though. My best friend is Ryder Abbott, we grew up together. My dad has always worked for his family and we have been friends since we were both in diapers.”
She points her cute little finger into my chest
. “Oh, so you are using me as a distraction. I know Ryder. He’s been sniffing around my girl Scarlet.”
, I hate to tell your friend, but if Ryder wants a girl he normally gets her. For the night at least.”
. “Ha, well I hate to tell Sir Douche Bag, but Scarlet’s not easy.”
, I’m sure that will wound him. He seems a little caught up on this one. Can’t say I’ve ever seen him this way.”
She smiles drunkenly at me
. “Well, the last guy that pissed her off ended up with an ax handle taken to his car. So best of luck to Ryder.” She lays her head on my chest, rubbing over it and making my dick strain in my pants.
Normally I would say drunk girls are off limits, but with her, I can’t
. I want her and I need this distraction before I go. I nibble her ear. “So Princess, you wanna get out of here and show me those panties?”
She looks up at me with those beautiful green eyes and whispers
I knew what I was doing tonight was stupid
, so stupid, but for a little while I just wanted to not feel. I shouldn’t have went to that bar alone. Ever since I met Judd a little over a week ago, I can’t get him out of my freaking head. I know he’s leaving and we agreed to be friends after our wild night/morning of passion, but there is something about him. Something about how I screamed his damn name so loud the hotel called and asked us to quiet down.
When I think about all of the times he made me scream out like that
, my panties are flooded. I figured maybe if I went out tonight and met someone it would get my mind off of things. Scarlet’s at work and I don’t have anyone else I wanted to go out with me, so my stupid ass went alone.
Now, I’ve escaped a possible rape situation and I can’t fucking drive
. That little preppy college prick seemed so nice. I knew I should’ve stuck to buying my own drinks.
A loud knock at my window scares me
. “OH SHIT!”
“Princess, open the fucking door.”
I open the door and Judd pulls me out. I start crying into his chest. After a few minutes he pulls back from me. “Are you okay? Let me see you.”
He looks down at my torn dress, the bruise forming on my face and my split lip
. “Do you know the guys who did this to you? Because I’m going to kill them.”
I shake my head
. “No, they just bought me drinks in the bar. I know I was stupid taking them. I’m sorry I had to call you but Scar is at work and I can’t hardly see, much less drive.”
He brushes the hair from my face
. “Hey, it’s not a problem. But promise me you’ll never go out by yourself again. I’m about to leave and I need you here when I get back.”
I nod my head
. “I know, this scared the shit out of me. I’m just glad that I never finished the drink. When I started feeling woozy I left, but they tried to stop me, that’s where the tear in the dress came from and I fell into a door. Then I ran to my car and hauled ass. When the road started getting fuzzy, I pulled over and called you.” I wipe my eyes. “I was scared they would come after me.”
He pulls me back into his massive chest and strokes my hair
. “Shh. Shh. It’s okay, I will never let anything happen to you.”
I look up and get lost in his blue eyes
. “Take me to your place.”
“Princess, normally I would never turn you down
, and yes, I’ll take you to my place to get you sober and cleaned up, but we can’t have sex tonight.”
I start kissing at his chest
“Because you are doped up and I’m not that kinda guy
. Now tomorrow, when you are sober, I’m gonna fuck you so that you remember me until I come home.”
He puts me in the passenger side of my car and drives to his house on post
. I can feel him carrying me inside and putting me to bed.
Hmm, he’ll fuck me so I can remember him until he comes home.
I look up as he lies down beside me. “Please come back home.”