Secrets in Battle: Secrets of Savannah Series Book 3 (9 page)

Chapter 15

“Hey Hughes, you see that?”

“Where?”

“Over a just a bit.”

“The kid.
He can’t be more than thirteen.”

“
Yeah. Doesn’t he seem a little strange?”

I shake my head. “Yeah
. Fuck.” I grab my radio. “Walton, there is a kid at the door of the market.”

“Roger.”

“Check him out. It’s a little sketchy, looks a little nervous…”

“Roger.”

Watching him make his way to the kid up the side street, everything happens in slow motion. The kid opens his vest. “ALLAH!!”

I fumble with the radio. “Pull back
! Get the fuck back!”

The explosion, the screams, the smell.

I sit up in the bed with a jolt, sweating and panting. The smell, it’s in my nose. I can’t get rid of it.

Running to the bathroom
, I empty the contents of my stomach in the toilet. I try to rinse my nose out with salt water to get the smell out but it’s still there.

I rip open the shower curtain and step in
. Turning the water on scalding hot and scrubbing my body with soap, I try to wash the inside of my nose so I can’t smell it anymore. Burning hair and flesh, I can’t forget it.

I heave again in the shower
. Finally, I sit down, shaking, and cry. I let the scalding water run over me, hoping it washes away my sins.

That kid was fourteen, he was a suicide bomber
. Walton was a twenty-two year old soldier from Ohio, with a wife and a six month old baby. There were countless people in that market. What was it all for?

Finally
, after the water runs cold, I get out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel. Walking over to my kitchen, I grab my bottle of Jack and sit on the futon.

Taking the cap off
, I turn up the bottle.

~*~*~

“What the fuck?”

“Shut up
, Ryder, my head is killing me damn it.”

“Judd
, get up. You are naked in a pile of puke in the god damn barn.”

I slowly sit up and look around. “I don’t remember coming out here.”

He helps me up off the ground. “What do you remember?”

I shake my head slightly. “I don’t know.”

Ryder shakes his head. “Fuck. Go over to the mudroom and get a shower. I’m sure there is something in there of mine you can put on.”

I try to walk, but it’s hard for me to stand
. Ryder takes my hand and walks me over to the mudroom that’s in the barn. He sits me down in a chair and turns on the water. He pulls me up and takes me to the shower.

“Man
, try to sober up a little. You smell like a damn distillery. If Nana or your momma see you, we are in deep shit.”

“Fuck
, man. I think I had a bad dream, but I’m not sure.”

I see him through the clear shower curtain grabbing some stuff out of the cabinet. “Here’s some shit to put on. I’ll wait for you outside.”

I shake my head while I’m washing up. I really fucked up this time. Shit, Princess is going to come to my apartment this morning. I have no clue what kind of shape I left it in. Damn it.

I jump out of the shower
, throwing on some clothes and running out the door.

“Fuck
, Ryder, I need to get back to the apartment. Annabelle is supposed to be coming there this morning, she can’t see it like that.”

He hangs his head a little. “Too late
. It’s almost ten. She came in saw the place ransacked, then she ran up to the main house to get me. She didn’t say anything to anyone else. We both figured it was something like this. I didn’t exactly expect to find you butt ass naked in my barn, but drunk, yes.”

I punch the barn door. “Fuck!”

“Sorry, man. She’s up there cleaning right now.”

I run to my apartment and once I’m inside
, I see exactly how bad it got last night.

My lamp is shattered, my furniture is turn
ed over and upside down, and I see broken liquor bottles on the floor. Sadly, I don’t know how much of that I actually drank and how much I busted. Considering I don’t remember shit, I’m guessing I drank a good bit.

I’m startled when Princess comes out of the bathroom fr
om cleaning. She runs to me and hugs me. “You scared me. I thought something happened to you.”

I stroke her hair. “It’s okay
, Princess. Go on up to the main house and sleep. You don’t need to clean this up. I’ll get it.”

She looks up at me and I can tell she’s dead on her feet. “Why don’t you come lay down with me and we’ll tackle this after we get up?”

I shake my head. “No, you go get some rest. I can’t sleep, and you just got off. I’ll be here when you get up. I promise.”

She nods. “Okay.”

She slips out the door, making her way over to the main house.

I probably just all kinds of fucked that up
.

Ryder knocks on the door as he comes in
. “Man, you fucked this place up. Let me help you clean it up.”

“No! Just go
, I can handle it.”

“Man
, I’m just trying to help.”

“I didn’t need help tearing the shit up, I don’t need help cleaning it up.”

“Hey, are you still talking to that counselor guy?”

“What the fuck about
‘I don’t need your help’ didn’t you understand, Ryder? I can handle this.”

“Look man
, I’m just trying to say I care. Pull your head out of your ass.”

“Fuck you
, Ryder. You don’t get it and I hope to God you never have to.” I say as I shove him out my door and slam it shut.

“FUCK!”

Chapter 1
6

I toss and turn in the bed at Scarlet’s.

After a night of meth heads and gunshot wounds, I thought I’d be able to relax when I got home. All I could think about was snuggling in Judd’s sheets, smelling him as I went to sleep.

I came home to find his apartment door standing wide open and everything trashed, and it scared me. Then when I couldn’t find him, I started calling his name. I ran out in the yard and over to the main house. I saw Ryder in the kitchen and ran in panting. I didn’t realize I was crying until he grabbed me.

“Annabelle
. What’s wrong?”

I shake. “I can’t find him. His apartment is busted up and he’s gone.”

Ryder took off out the back door and I went to clean up his apartment.

Then he was so off and short when he came back.

I was worried his dreams weren’t under control. God, I hope he didn’t drink all of that whiskey that was busted on the floor.

I wonder what set him off
and I hope he’s still seeing his counselor.

Can I bring that up to him
? Will it hurt him, insult him?

Finally
, all of my thoughts wear me down and I feel my eyes getting too heavy to hold open.

~*~*~

I wake up seeing it’s three in the afternoon. I get dressed in some lounge clothes and make my way over to Judd’s apartment.

I knock on the door and he doesn’t answer
. I walk over to the barn and find Ryder.

“Hey
, Ryder.”

“Hey
, Annabelle. He went to town for a little bit.”

I kick a little dirt on the ground. “Was he okay?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. A little embarrassed, I think, more than anything. He didn’t want you to know that happened. The fact that you’re the one who found the apartment that way upset him.”

“Do you think that he’ll ever be able to get through this
? Ever be able to get a decent night’s sleep?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. He doesn’t talk about much
. He doesn’t want to talk about what the counselor says.”

“What can I do
? I feel so helpless.”

He sits down on a bucket. “I know
. I do, too. You know, Judd has always been there for me.”

“I know
, he always tried to keep you from getting locked up.” I laugh.

He shakes his head. “I’m going to tell you something I haven’t ever really talked about.”

I nod. “Okay.”

“You and I grew up
together in school, but Judd was my best friend. He’s a couple of years older than me, but he’s been my best friend since diapers. Not many people I went to school with knew about my life. I didn’t trust many people.” He looks away and then back to me. “When my mom passed away, I quit talking. Judd spoke for me. A little while later, my dad started dating a woman. I wanted my dad to be happy because he’d been so sad. She had a thing for young boys like me. Judd kept wondering what was wrong with me. Finally, I broke down and told him. I really didn’t understand what was going on, but I knew it was wrong. Once I talked to Judd, he told Nelson. My point is, Judd and I have trusted each other our entire lives. I know the helpless feelings, though, because I feel like I’m letting him down. He’s never failed me, but I feel like I’m failing him.”

I wipe a tear from my face. “I’m sorry. I know this is rough for everyone. How much do his parents know?”

“He doesn’t want them to know. I think his dad suspects but they won’t talk about it. My biggest concern is the pills he takes to sleep mixed with the alcohol.”

“Does Nana know?”

He shakes his head. “Not from me. I’m sure she does, though. Nana knows everything.”

I laugh. “Okay
, well I need to go over and work with her for a while. Let him know I’m okay and I want to see him.”

He nods. “Okay.”

I take one of the Rangers over to Nana’s. As I pull up, she’s sitting on her porch smoking.

“Nana
, those things are gonna kill ya.”

“Yeah. These, moonshine, wild sex and any food I eat. I figure I might as well go out with a bang.”

I shake my head. “Nana, you have such a way of putting things.”

“So what’s wrong with you
? You look like someone just kicked your puppy.”

I sit down and shake my head. “Nothing
, just tired form work.”

“Child
, don’t lie to me. I don’t tolerate lyin’, I’ll take you over my knee.”

“When Mr. Abbott came home from war
, did he have some hard times?”

She rocks back and forth a little faster. “Yes
, sweetie. They all do.”

“Can I help him?” I as
k as my voice quivers.

She shakes her head. “Every man is different
. They are still fighting a battle in their head. Sometimes it’s guilt, sometimes it’s fear. They have so much more information on it now than they did back with my Grayton. Just be there for him, that’s the biggest thing you can do for him. Let him talk when he wants to talk and don’t push him when he doesn’t want to.”

I nod. “I’m trying.”

She pats my hand. “I know, baby. I know. It’s not going to be easy. I’m guessing he hasn’t talked about any of this with his momma and daddy?”

I shake my head. “No
, ma’am, I think just me and Ryder.”

She shakes her head. “Of course Ryder knows. Those two have a bond like brothers. It’s the reason I knew they’d need each other when Nelson retired and Greer moved.”

I nod. “I think you’re right. I just hope I’m enough for him. I think I’m falling in love with him.”

She shakes her head. “Baby
, you think, therefore you are. Trust me, you’re enough or I wouldn’t have you here.” She stands up to go inside. “Come on. I’ll fix us some sweet tea and we’ll get to work.”

I nod. “Okay and Nana, Thanks.”

“No problem, baby. In any matter, he’s in love with you, too, he just hasn’t realized it yet with all that other mess clouding his brain.”

That stuns me a little as I make my way to Nana’s computer and sit down.

He loves me. Wow. I love him. Wow.

Shit, this is hard.