Seductive Secrecy (Shadows series) (27 page)

There were so many emotions piling up within me. But there
was no way I was going to allow Lora to see my tears. I did the only
thing that came to mind: I laughed. I pushed out Lilly’s giggling
from my head this time, and Emma’s soothing voice; I needed to do this on my own. I couldn’t mask the anger, and honestly, I didn’t want to. I had more than reached my limit tonight.

“Couldn’t you have painted those changes from your memory?” I asked. “You
fucked
her for years, Cameron, I’m sure you remember exactly what her tits look like…and it’s not like you spend a lot of time staring at mine these days.”

“Charlie, honey,” Lora said, “jealousy isn’t cute on anyone,
especially you. Cameron’s eyes have only been on my breasts
”

“Shut the fuck up!” I yelled as I turned in her direction. “I’m not talking to you, and I have no plans to. This conversation is between my boyfriend and me, and it has nothing to do with you.”

“Oh, but honey, I think it has a
lot
to do with me,” Lora said.

“Charlie, Lora was just trying to
”

Then I turned to Cameron. “You’re going to defend
her
? To
me
? Do you even know the insulting shit that comes out of her mouth when she speaks to me? I let it all roll off because she’s your friend. But this is fucking ridiculous.”

Another voice entered the fray. “You’re right. This
is
fucking ridiculous.”

We all turned in the same direction and found Ryder walking toward us.

“I heard yelling,” Ryder said, “so I thought I’d come check and make sure everyone was all right. But looking at this shit now,” he
nodded to Lora, “I’ve got to say I’m as disgusted as Charlie.” He
finally came to a stop directly in front of his brother. “Cameron,
what
the hell is going on with you? Why would you bring that bitch
here?”

“Who are you calling a bitch, you
cretin?
” Lora shouted.

“Watch your mouth, Ryder,” Cameron warned him. “We were just working on her painting. It’s not what either of you think.”

“
You
be quiet,” I said, pointing at Cameron. “And as for you,” I said, facing Lora once again, “Ryder was being far too kind, actually.
You’re more than just a bitch; you’re a conniving, manipulative,
philandering bitch, and one who doesn’t belong in this place.” I
walked
over to the bench that held her clothes, picked up each item and
threw them at her. “Get yourself dressed, and then get the
fuck
out. No one here wants to stare at your naked ass.”

She ducked as the items of clothing came flying at her, her hands missing each piece as they landed close to her feet. “Cameron?” she whimpered. “Are you going to let them talk to me that way?”

Before Cameron could answer her, Ryder spoke up. “He doesn’t have a choice; I’m telling you to get out now, too. And I mean it. And unlike Cameron, I don’t fuck around.”

Lora read Ryder’s expression and slowly bent down to retrieve her clothes. I left her to her dressing and faced the boys.

The muscles in Cameron’s jaw were flexing as he ground his
teeth. Ryder’s shoulders were square, his arms crossed, his feet spread far apart. They were staring each other down.

“You don’t
fuck
around
?” Cameron asked Ryder. “Oh, I think you do…
brother
.”

I had a feeling Cameron wouldn’t just ignore that comment. Our fucking around was what had gotten us here; it was the reason the three of us were no longer talking. I hadn’t spoken to Ryder since the night I had left him in here, and I knew he and Cameron hadn’t had a proper conversation for longer than that.

“You can hate me all you want,” Ryder said, “but you have no right to take this out on Charlie. She doesn’t deserve it.”

Cameron’s eyes followed Lora as she moved toward the elevator and he waited for her to get inside before he said, “Do you have any
idea how much I hate knowing that you’ve fucked the woman I
love?”

My stomach began to churn, and my hands started to shake. My knees were threatening to drop my weight. I leaned against the nearest table and took deep breaths, trying to calm everything that was screaming inside me.

Love
.

He’d never said it to me. But now he’d said it to Ryder, in
reference to me…it was almost as if I wasn’t in the room at all.

“The woman you
love?
” Ryder repeated. “What the hell do you know about love, Cameron? You treat her like shit now. You haven’t
talked to her in weeks, you haven’t slept in the same bed with her.
You
don’t even acknowledge her anymore, and yet you claim you
love
her?” He shook his head. “I don’t think you know how.”

Cameron’s jaw clenched again. “How is this any of your
goddamned business?”

Ryder laughed. “How is it
not?
You just said it yourself: you can’t stand it that I’ve fucked the woman you love. It’s because of me that you’re in this fucked-up situation.”

Cameron ran his hands over his head. “I don’t know what to
do.”

“You don’t know what to do?” Ryder mocked. “Then I think the only proper thing for you to do is to step aside. Maybe you don’t know how to show her how you feel, but I do.”

Cameron’s eyes flashed, like he’d never considered the
possibility of that before. He turned to face me. “Is that what you want, too?” he asked me. “Do you feel the same way about him?” I saw nothing but pain in his eyes.

“I
”

“You don’t have to answer that, Charlie,” Ryder said,
interrupting me. “He already knows the answer.”

It had taken time for it to happen, but Cameron had become my home. It was something we’d built, something we’d moved toward.
It hadn’t come easy, but I always believed it had been worth the
effort. But now, nothing about him resembled that anymore. This space made me feel like a stranger. I no longer felt sick. I felt solitary.

Maybe he didn’t know what to do, but I did.

I looked at Ryder. “Thank you for having my back tonight. I’m
glad at least someone in here did.” Then I looked at Cameron. I
didn’t try to read his expression, his stance, or his thoughts anymore. I no longer cared to. “I’m sorry for the things I said to Lora. She probably didn’t deserve to be treated like that. Then again, I really wish you hadn’t been painting her tits when I came in here, either, so...”

“Charlie, please,” he pled.

I wouldn’t let him continue. “I want to be clear about this: I’m
not leaving because of her, or her tits or her painting. I’m leaving
because I’ve waited
every single night
in that bed—
our
bed—hoping you would come to me and make this all right. You never did. I was in
there all by myself, alone, completely empty, blaming myself for all
of this, and you didn’t even care. You said you forgave me, but
honestly…I don’t believe you’ll ever be able to.”

“Charlie
”

“No, Cameron
let me finish. You promised me you would
never shut me out, that you would never turn away from me. But when we’re faced with our first real challenge—personal and painful and real— you slammed the door right in my face. This has gone on for weeks, and I’m not putting up with it anymore. I think you’ve made your decision clear. It’s about time I do the same.”

“You’re leaving,” he whispered.

I thought of Ryder’s tattoo.
Always Stay True To You
.

I nodded. “I can’t change the way you see me.” I pushed off the table; I needed to get out of here before the tears took over. But I had
one more thing I needed to say. I still hadn’t taken my father’s
advice. I needed to now. “I really did love you, Cameron. I thought that was going to be enough for us to overcome whatever shadows or secrets were cast over us. I guess I was wrong. The shadows and the secrets win.” I glanced at Ryder. I could see his pain, too, spread across his
face. He knew I loved his brother, but hearing me say it was
something
completely different, I guess. I tried not to look at Cameron. I was
afraid I’d change my mind, and that was the last thing I wanted to do at
that point. “I’m going to pack up a few of my things and then I’ll be
gone. I’ll be back tomorrow to get the rest of it.” I turned and walked.

“Charlie, don’t go.”

I knew which Hardy brother had said that, but I didn’t care to
justify it to either of them by complying. I had to leave…for me.
There was nothing that would make me change my mind.

Once I was in the bedroom, I grabbed one of my bags from the closet and I filled it with something to sleep in, and an outfit for tomorrow and some cosmetics. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t really care.

I just needed to get out of that apartment.