Seductive Secrecy (Shadows series) (39 page)

I made eye contact with Cameron as he glanced between the waiter and me. “Okay. We just need to—”

“The bill is already taken care of. Don’t worry about anything; just make your way to the car.”

“Are you far from here?”

“I’ll see you soon,” he said as he ended the call.

He was always so cryptic on the phone. I could never tell if there was trouble brewing or if he was just taking extra precaution. This time, I had a feeling it was the latter. I had actually been surprised when he’d suggested we meet in a public place and come back to our villa. He was the type of man who would want us to come to him and something told me that had been the plan all along.

“Is he coming?” Victoria asked. “Is he here somewhere?”

“We have to go,” I said as I placed the phone back in my purse. “There’s a car waiting for us over there.” I nodded toward the curb. Victoria’s scheming smile wasn’t lost on me. It was uncomfortably familiar. Cameron reached for his wallet. “He already paid the bill,” I told him.

The three of us stood from our chairs and moved nonchalantly toward the Mercedes. As we approached, the driver got out of the front seat and slid the back door open. It was something of a luxury van, a model I hadn’t ever seen in the States. There were two rows of seats behind the driver. Victoria sat in the middle; Cameron and I took the back. We rode in complete silence.

During the ride, I tried to play out in my mind what would happen when I was finally in my father’s presence, how we would act around each other. I wondered if he would hug me, or if there’d be a distance between us that couldn’t be bridged by physical closeness. Or would we pick up where we’d left off, as if we’d never been apart? Our letters and phone conversations were wonderful, but face-to-face contact again might be awkward. We hadn’t exactly had a traditional start; I didn’t know why I would have expected a
traditional reunion. I knew he would never be
dad
to me
in the
normal sense, but could we still share the warmth that was typical between fathers and daughters? Would his arms take me in the same way they had the morning he’d left for Europe?

The warning of his departure had come the night before he left, when he told me it would be his last in the city. He wouldn’t tell me where he was going or how he was going to get there. He didn’t promise he would ever return, either. All I knew was that he’d be
gone when I woke up. I was to stay in his apartment until his
attorney contacted me to let me know it was safe to finally reenter society.

I had a hard time falling asleep that night. At some ridiculous
hour in the early morning, I heard a soft noise from somewhere inside my room. The feeling then came over me that someone was closely hovering. I sat up in bed and saw him standing in the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest and his feet gently tapping the floor. I could feel his anxiety in the air, his nervous hesitation.

“Is it time for you to go?” I asked.

He nodded.

“I don’t know when I’ll see you again, but please be safe.”

“I’ll be fine…but I’ll always worry about you,” he said.

He knew I wasn’t going to leave his apartment until it was safe for me to do so. If for some reason my name were brought up in the legal morass surrounding the mansion, his attorney would help me get out of Boston. Somehow I knew it wasn’t just the mansion that would worry him. He had begun worrying about me simply because I was his daughter, like any other parent would.

“I’ll take care of myself,” I said. “I promise.” By that point,
Cameron knew the truth about everything. “And I have Cameron. He’s very protective.”

“But you’re not going to have me.”

I shook my head. “No, I won’t. But just because you’re gone doesn’t mean we have to lose each other entirely…does it?”

His arms opened and, quickly leaving the bed, I fell into them. I didn’t take him for a hugger; he hadn’t been big on that sort of contact the whole time I’d been in his apartment. But resting against him then, I noticed the stiffness lessening, the awkwardness passing. I had just felt my father’s hands squeezing into my back, giving me as much comfort and reassurance as he could. And I had given him the same. That was as new for us as everything else.

Seconds later, he disappeared.

I walked toward my father with Victoria beside me. Cameron
was on the other side, his hand clasped in mine. The feeling was
much
different from the good-bye we’d had in his apartment all those
months ago.
We
were different; we had slowly started to learn so much more about each other in the letters we’d exchanged. We’d gradually let each other peek in on some of our darkness, and it had led us to this moment. An understanding had grown between us during every step that brought me closer to him.

And now, I saw him again.

His eyes followed as I moved up the path to the house he stood before.

I wasn’t sure how long the ride had taken, and I had no idea
what part of Italy we were in now. The house had been painted bright peach; I could hear waves splashing behind me. The scent of flowers
wafted to my nose—unidentified, but strongly perfumed. It all
drifted
by; my eyes and my attention were focused solely on my father. I
hardly recognized him. His hair had been dyed black, and his irises were unlike mine anymore; he was wearing contacts. His eyes were
now rich brown. His body appeared fitter, with more muscle
pushing
out of the sleeves of his shirt. The buttons rested over a flatter
stomach. What captivated me more than anything was his smile. And it was
just for me. I was within reach when his arms opened. My pace
quickened to close the gap between us.

Cameron let go of my hand as I ran, and Victoria’s sandals
stopped clacking on the pavement. Everything else went silent, except for his heart. It beat against my cheek.

It was like music to me.

“I’ve missed you,” he whispered. His words surprised me. As much as I wanted to hear them, I was afraid to let myself believe he’d ever say them to me.

“I’ve missed you, too,” I told him, holding back tears.

“You look so happy, so beautiful,” he said. “He’s treating you right, isn’t he?”

 I nodded. “He really is.”

“I can tell.”

“There’s nobody like him. I am so lucky that he…loves me.” I’d heard him say it; I’d said it to him in return. But I’d never considered it in those terms before:
Cameron loves me.

It was overwhelming.

He nodded. “And you?”

“I love him, too,” I replied.

“I’m so glad you have this—both of you.” We fell silent again, and I knew our embrace was coming to an end. “I know you just arrived, but…would you be okay if I sent you inside to get a cold drink and to make yourself comfortable? I’m afraid I haven’t given Victoria a proper hello.” His eyes were suddenly on her.

I released him, the smile never leaving my face. “Sure. I’ll see you in there.”

Cameron was at my side again. I looped my arm through his as he led us up the rest of the driveway to the main entrance of the house. I glanced down the small hill and saw my father hug Victoria. Her arms were in the same place mine had been, but her hands were
resting more intimately; her lips were on his, and there was
suddenly more color in her cheeks, more desire in her posture. His form had changed in a similar manner.

I sighed.

It wasn’t what I would have wanted for him. But at least it seemed to make him happy.

That was all that mattered to me.

***

We sat around the dining room table, Cameron and my father at each end and Victoria and me on the sides. My father had hired a private chef for the evening, and a butler to set each plated course in front of us. There had been three rounds so far; I didn’t think I could eat another bite. But there was no other place I would rather have been than at this table.

I realized the affection between my father and Victoria wasn’t
just for show, and it didn’t stop once they’d entered the house. It
continued as we sat in the living room chatting and during the walk we’d taken on the beach. It was even more evident now that we’d finished a few glasses of wine. They continuously stole glances at
each other—short, intimate moments that Cameron and I had
noticed. We’d had a few moments like that of our own. My father had seen us together before he left, but things between Cameron and me were
much deeper now, much more evolved. All of that emotion had
existed months ago; it was what drove me to want to leave the mansion in the first place, before I knew the dark truth about what was really happening there. I just wasn’t strong enough to allow myself to feel the emotions, to acknowledge them.

Was this what it was like to have a family…one where everyone loved each other?

There hadn’t been any warmth at the table I had eaten at with Lilly. The Hunt’s dining room had been so formal, so sterile. We were expected to finish all our food without putting our elbows on the table, and to wipe our mouths in between bites before we could be excused. It was safe, but it was far from warm. In our apartment, Cameron and I sat at the bar and quickly finished whatever we had
ordered in, so we could go back to the studio and continue
working…or back to the bedroom to enjoy each other’s company in the way we
loved best. We were in a house that wasn’t ours, surrounded by
someone else’s belongings, in an environment that was completely foreign, and yet it felt like we belonged there. There was no rush, no rules or expectations. The conversation flowed organically—even between me and Victoria—and we didn’t drill each other with questions or make demands for answers. We weren’t here out of obligation; we were here because we wanted to be. And despite the
situation and what had brought us here, we belonged
here…together.

Maybe unconventional worked for us. Maybe all the wrong that had been done, all the pain we’d experienced and damage we’d witnessed was what we had to get through in order for us to be here. None of us at this table were untouched by darkness; we’d all played
different roles through our lives. Sometimes we’d been the
manipulators, and sometimes we’d been the manipulated. But in this moment, our pasts were only significant for having brought us to the same space at the same time, and for allowing us to appreciate where we were
now. There were cracks forming in the blackness of what the
mansion had meant to all of us. Light was finally starting to show through.

The man to my right had circled my ring finger with a kiss and promised me a
forever
. And the man to my left, whose face ever so
slightly resembled my own, was working very hard to help me
create a
future
. I still wasn’t sure where Victoria fit in. She’d played a role in my life that I wouldn’t be able to forget. But she also played a role in my father’s life, an entirely different one, and it seemed to make him happy. For now, that would have to be enough.

Questions about the mansion remained, and she would always
be a reminder. But for now, I was good not knowing any of the
answers. After I had lost Emma, I’d tried to control every moment that had followed. I wasn’t able to enjoy surprises. Every breath drew in darkness that filled my soul. Every dream ended in shadows that couldn’t be easily driven away.

That darkness wasn’t gone. It would always remain as part of the foundation of who I was. But when I looked at Cameron and my father, seeing the possibility of happiness coming true before my eyes, I saw that the darkness was able to exist without extinguishing the light. I remembered what I’d written to my father on the subject.

I should appreciate it for what it is: a background for the brilliance of stars.

I was finally willing to believe it.

WE HADN’T PACKED FOR OUR TRIP
to my father’s villa, but it didn’t matter; the guest room had been stocked with everything we needed, in all the correct sizes and scents. Hospitality was something my father had always been good at, and he insisted that anyone who stayed with him felt as comfortable as possible.

Cameron and I cleaned up and changed into fresh clothes the next morning. I didn’t feel sick to my stomach from all the wine we had drank last night, but my head was definitely feeling the touches of a hangover and my body needed several cups of coffee and something extra-greasy for breakfast in order for it to bounce back.

My father and Victoria were already seated in the dining room
when we came downstairs, with coffee and plates of fruit resting in front of them. Baskets of muffins and croissants and bagels lined the center of the table. We wanted for nothing. Cameron and I brimmed our mugs with coffee and our plates with a little from each selection.

“Good morning,” my father said as we took our first bites. “I hope you both slept well?”

It was hard to ignore the light beaming from his face. I had never really seen it before yesterday; it wasn’t something he’d shown during his time at the mansion. Considering what his work there
had involved, it was easy to recognize why. Away from the
madness, he was a completely different man. I couldn’t say the same for Victoria. She wasn’t looking nearly as bright as she had when we had arrived. Night work at the mansion must have had an effect on her as well. I had difficulty imagining her as a morning person.

“The accommodations couldn’t have been better,” I said. “Thank you for making us feel so welcome.”

“You’re my daughter,” he said. “You’re welcome wherever I am at any time, as long as it’s safe for you to be here.”

I swore I could hear Victoria scoff when he said it.

“Yes,” Cameron said. “We feel very…
safe
.” I could feel his eyes on me. His stare was making me blush…I knew exactly what he was thinking. The accommodations were perfect, but we’d had a bit of a furniture malfunction early that morning: we’d broken our bed, the wooden headboard breaking free of the bed frame during one of our sessions. Cameron’s power was too much for it. The wood was splintered, and the headboard was now tilted and loose. I made a point to be out of the room when Cameron finally asked my father for a tool set so he could try to fix it. Luckily for us, the guest rooms were on the second floor and the master was on the first at the opposite side of the house. Nobody would have been able to hear anything that had happened in our room.