Seductive Secrecy (Shadows series) (36 page)

“Don’t be so naïve, dear. They would have killed me if I’d tried to stop them.”

“I don’t give a shit what they would have done to you.”

“Well, I do. Which is why I did nothing to stop it. I wasn’t about to risk my life for yours. You certainly wouldn’t have risked yours for me.”

“You’re wrong, Victoria—I
did
risk my life. I risked it every time I walked into that fucking house. I just didn’t know it at the time.” I gulped the rest of the drink in my hand. “And now I risk it every time I leave my goddamned house.” I’d done so well casting off the shadow the mansion had dropped over me. I’d been determined not to let it haunt me anymore. Now it was back in my face, taunting me with truths I really didn’t need to know.

She released a deep breath, and the tightness in her face began to
relax. She looked weary, more than anything else. “You have to understand: my loyalty was to the mansion and to the men who ran it. I wasn’t allowed to be your friend; my job was to make you
think
I was, to earn your trust. Had I not done that, I would have been next on the operating table. I did what I had to, to save my own skin.” She leaned forward, resting her forearms on her knees as if she were taking me into her confidence. “You see, Charlie, we’re not all that different; we’re both whores. The only difference is, I was fucking the men who held all the power, and you were fucking the ones who gave it to them.”

My head was fuzzy. She was right: we’d both been fucking for
our lives. We’d just been working different sides of the bed. It may have explained her reasoning a bit more, but it didn’t excuse her
choices.

I was losing patience. I was tired of analyzing her motivation.

I wanted answers.

“I know you didn’t come here to tell me your side of things, and you sure as hell aren’t here to ask for my forgiveness.”

She smirked. “Not in the least.”

“So what is it that
you want
?” I asked again. I was tired of repeating myself.

She halted before she said it, as if she wasn’t sure she wanted to
anymore. “I want your father.” She tried to smile, but it fell
crookedly across her face. “You have nothing to worry about as far as he’s concerned. I’m the only one who knows you two are related…I’m the only one who ever watched the monitors.”

“That’s how you figured it out?”

“That was the first sign. I watched the way he treated you…it was so different from the way he acted with the other girls. He was so soft when he was with you, so gentle. So interested in what was happening with you. He was only like that with one other person in the mansion: me. All it took after that was a little prodding and the answer I was looking for fell right at my fingertips.”

He was soft with her, too? It made sense now, why he’d told her that the mansion was going to be taken down, and why he’d want her safe.

“There was more than just a professional relationship between the two of you, wasn’t there?”

Her head tilted back and her hair fell from her shoulders. Her chest started to rise and fall a little faster. “I care for your father. Deeply.” 

Hearing her call him that made my skin crawl.

“We have a richly-shadowed relationship, Charlie. I want us to be together again.”

“
Again?
” I realized how little I actually knew about him.

She sighed. “He didn’t tell you.”

It was a statement, not a question.

I tried to recall all the conversations I’d had with my father where he’d mentioned Victoria’s name. He had said he’d dated women in the past, but he never referred to anyone specific or how serious the relationships had been. As far as I could remember, he’d never even so much as hinted that there had been anything between them. Then I remembered a line from one of his letters.

Men have a difficult time opening up sometimes. We’re challenging animals. But give him a chance. In much the same way, there are people in my life with whom I wish I would have shared my feelings. It’s too late for that now. But it isn’t too late for you…

It all came clear.

He was talking about her.

I was ready to take the drink out of her hand and swallow it all at once. “If you love him so much, why aren’t you with him right now? Why are you here in Boston, tormenting me with your bullshit confessions?”

She downed half her glass and set it on the coffee table. “While we were still in the mansion, I had obligations that your father wasn’t happy about, and I can’t blame him. He could have had any of the girls in that house…he could have done it just to spite me, if he’d wanted. But he didn’t. Not even once. He’s a good man.” She sighed. “Unfortunately, I didn’t have the luxury of saying ‘no’ to
those who demanded my services. It started to eat at him after a
while.”

The picture was coming even clearer. “So you fucked around with the other owners while he pined for you, and eventually he stopped waiting. Why would he ever want you now?”

She smiled again; she practically beamed. It didn’t suit her…it was actually a bit disturbing. “Because I’m not being controlled by them anymore—I’m not being controlled by
anyone
. I’m free
we both are. I can fully give myself to him. He loves me. I know he wants to be with me.”

“And what the hell does that have to do with me?”

“Charlie…let’s not insult each other’s’ intelligence. You know
exactly why I brought you here.”

I played it all back in my head, the steps that had led to this moment: Jameson’s offer from an anonymous collector, the business
card he’d given me at his showing, the invitation that came…to Cameron.

She used Cameron to get me to Jameson, and Jameson to get to
me.

“So you used Jameson to set up a meeting with me because you
thought that would be the easiest way to reach me. Cameron
probably wouldn’t have responded to a request like that because he had no idea who you were…and Professor Freeman would have required a
lengthy introduction before he connected us. You went to all that
trouble just so you could reach me…so I could put you in touch with my father?”

I didn’t need her to nod her head or even answer verbally. Her
expression told me I was right. “Dig a little deeper, sweetheart…you’re almost there.”

“You know I’m going to Italy next week to meet him, don’t
you?”

She clapped. “You’re really good at this!”

“And were you at that club watching when Cameron gave me the tickets, too? Were you listening as we made our plans and decided what to take with us?”

She shrugged and smirked again. “The villa he chose looks very, very nice.”

My stomach churned.

“Why would you even bother to go through any of this? Why didn’t you just follow me to Italy and track him down yourself?”

“Because I love him,” she said so softly. “And I respect him.”

“And so you stalk his daughter so she can help you get back into his good graces? That’s how you show him respect?” Something occurred to me as I said it. “He’s not going to want to see you, is he? You think if you show up with me, he’ll forgive you.”

I saw her eyes flash a mix of anger and defeat. I heard it, too. “I know things will never be right between you and me. You have no reason to want to help me with anything. And you may or may not believe this, but I came to you because I didn’t want to jeopardize his safety by showing up out of nowhere. I wanted to go in the right way.”

It wasn’t just her voice that had softened. It was her face, too. Maybe the mask had given her more authority than she knew she
had in the world. Maybe underneath, she was just an insecure
woman
who’d given her body to more men than she was comfortable
admitting, and now she was trying for something real. The similarities between us were clear. But it didn’t make me feel anything for her but pity.

“Will you please just talk to him?” she asked. “I’m not asking
just for myself. I’m asking for your father, too. We had something together. I just want to have a chance at happiness away from the mansion.”

I laughed at that. “Don’t we all?”

I wondered what my father would have thought about all this. Would he trust her enough to reveal his location to her? Considering their past in the mansion, maybe it had nothing to do with trust; maybe it was all based on desire and love. I had found happiness; I had a true connection with someone else, a feeling that my father had told me he wanted for himself. I didn’t know if it was my place to keep that from happening, just because of my hatred for the object of his love.

And I didn’t really think it was my choice to make.

If she was the woman he was referring to, and she was willing to travel to him—and he was willing to take her in—then it wasn’t fair for me to keep her away from him.

My head was pounding now. “All right,” I said, rubbing my temples. “I’ll talk to him. That’s all I can do.”

She seemed grateful…as much as someone like Victoria could be, at least. “That’s all I’m asking for.”

I pushed off the couch, dropped my glass on the table and took several steps toward the door.  I couldn’t believe what I’d just agreed to. “And how will I get in touch with you…
Tori?
” At least I didn’t have to paint her anything now.

“You won’t,” she said. “I’ll reach you.”

***

When I got back to the apartment, I went straight into the studio and told Cameron about my meeting. He was genuinely surprised by the effort Victoria had put in to see me, how she’d risked being caught when she booked the hotel and traveled in and out of the lobby, and even more so when she maneuvered her way through town while the police were still actively searching for her.

“Do you think Jameson knows who she is?” he asked. He had set down his brush as soon as I had entered, but now his arms crossed, and his hand cupped his chin.

I shook my head. “She wouldn’t reveal herself to him. It would be too risky.”

“What if she didn’t have to? What if he was a member of the mansion?”

I hadn’t thought of it. “I’m not worried about that right now.”

“I am
I’ll rip that fucker’s head off if
”

“Cameron,” I interrupted. “This isn’t about Jameson; it’s about my dad.”

He calmed down a bit. “You’re right.”

“I can’t tell if she’s just taking advantage of him…using him. Playing with his emotions.”

His hands moved to my shoulders. “You’re wondering if you should really call him?”

I nodded. “I have to know, though. If she’s the one he’s been talking about having feelings for in his letter, then…I don’t know. He should make the choice himself.”

“Are you trying to protect him, or are you trying to keep from getting in between them?”

“I don’t know…both, maybe?” I thought again about what his letter had said. “Something in me believes everything she said, but another part of me is convinced that every word that came out of her mouth was a lie. I just can’t figure out why she’d go to the trouble of dragging me into it. And even if she was telling the truth, are her motives even justifiable? Don’t they both have more to worry about than love at this point?”