See Dick Cook: A Culinary Voyage for the Average Man (14 page)

Honey I'm Home Pork Chops

You catch more flies with honey than vinegar Dick. What the hell does that mean anyway? While you're likely not interested in catching flies, you are interested in catching praise for your culinary skills. This is so easy yet so good and versatile for grill or oven.

Procedure

Combine all ingredients except the pork chops in a shallow dish, or better yet a sealable Ziploc bag. Stir/shake to combine.

Add the pork chops to the Ziploc bag and marinate in the refrigerator for 1 to 2 hours, or overnight.

Remove the pork chops and reserve some of the marinade. Grill the pork chops on the barbecue over medium-high heat for about 15 minutes, turning once, basting occasionally with the reserved marinade.

Remove from heat and serve.

Servings: 4

Yield: 4 - 6 Pork Chops

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Very easy

Preparation Time: 10 minutes

Cooking Time: 15 minutes

Inactive Time: 1 hour

Total Time: 1 hour and 25 minutes

Dicks Tips

If you prefer Dick, you can always throw these in the oven. Spray a baking sheet with non-stick cooking spray and bake at 375° F for 30 - 40 minutes depending on the thickness of your chops.

If you want a cheat factor - grab a jar of honey garlic cooking sauce and add ginger and onion. Though I can assure you it won't be as good.

Dick Factor: Want to look really cool? Slice a couple of peaches in half and grill alongside on the barbecue to serve with the pork chops, and top with a sprig of rosemary. Ohhh ya.

Man Up Sausage Manicotti

There comes a point in every Dick's life where he's just gotta man up. Do it with grace and manicotti Dick.

Procedure

In a large pot, bring water to a boil and cook manicotti shells according to package directions, or until just softened. Rinse with cool water and set aside.

Preheat oven to 350° F.

In a large frying pan, cook sausage and shallots over medium heat, breaking up sausage into a crumbly mixture as you go until lightly browned.

Once browned, add white wine and Herbs de Provence, then cook until wine is reduced - approximately five minutes. Remove from heat and let stand.

In a separate mixing bowl, combine spinach, parmesan, ricotta and egg. Mix thoroughly.

Now add your sausage Dick. Mix it again until all ingredients are thoroughly combined.

Find yourself a 13" x 9" baking dish and spray that bad boy with some cooking spray. Spread one cup of spaghetti sauce onto the bottom of the pan.

Now you need to fill the shells Dick. Using your hands or a small spoon, gently stuff the sausage mixture into the cooled manicotti shells until just full. Place each stuffed shell in the baking dish.

Spread the remaining two cups of spaghetti sauce over the manicotti shells, then cover with some tin foil.

Bake at 350° F for 40 minutes, then remove and discard foil. Sprinkle shredded mozzarella cheese onto manicotti then return to oven for another 15 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly.

Remove from oven and let sit five to ten minutes before serving.

Servings: 6

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Moderately difficult

Oven Temperature: 350°F

Preparation Time: 45 minutes

Cooking Time: 1 hour

Total Time: 1 hour and 45 minutes

Dicks Tips

Good quality cheese will ensure you pull this off flawlessly Dick. For a twist, substitute hot Italian sausage for the regular stuff and sprinkle with shredded smoked Gouda cheese instead of regular mozzarella.

Mari-Me-Nara Spaghetti with Meatballs and Sausage

You'll find the Six Month Mari-Me-Nara Sauce recipe in Dicks Staples. While any meat will do, this is especially great when you add some meatballs and sausage to the mix. Serve up with Dicks Caesar Salad, Garlic Bread and wine - and the only thing you'll be missing is a good episode of the Soprano's.

Procedure

In a large pot, heat up approximately 8 cups of Six Month Mari-Me-Nara Sauce on medium heat, turning down to a simmer once it starts to bubble.

Meanwhile, thaw out approximately a half package of frozen meatballs in the microwave for about five minutes. On this note, grab some balls worth serving Dick - the meatier the better.

Take your Oktoberfest Sausage, thaw and slice into medallions.

Add the meatballs and sausage to your sauce and continue to simmer for at least another 45 minutes.

In a separate pot, bring 8 cups of water to a boil, adding a tbsp of olive oil to the water. Boil your pasta to your desired 'doneness' ensuring not to overcook. Drain then rinse with hot water.

Spoon your sauce over your favourite pasta.

Servings: 8

Yield: Approximately 10 Cups

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Easy

Preparation Time: 15 minutes

Cooking Time:

Total Time: 1 hour

Dicks Tips

What the hell is pesto and where do you find it? It's a paste like sauce normally made from fresh basil, garlic, olive oil, and parmesan cheese. It can be found at the grocery store where spaghetti sauces are located. Look near the top shelf Dick, as the jars are generally small. It's also a Dick Staple so be sure to keep it on hand. This sauce is a sure fire hit Dick and can be used as a base sauce for most any pasta dish, or on the side as a dip with some fresh garlic bread.

Nice Rack...of Lamb

Still in search of the perfect rack Dick? Look no further, the journey ends here.

Procedure

Okay Dick here we go. Move your oven rack to the center of the oven and preheat to 450° F.

Grab a large bowl and combine the Italian bread crumbs, garlic, pepper and 2 tablespoons of olive oil.

Next, in a large oven proof skillet heat up the other 2 tablespoons of olive oil and sauté the shallots for two minutes on the top burner on medium-high heat.

Add the rack of lamb to the skillet and sear for two minutes per side until each section is seared. Turn the burner off and let sit for about five minutes.

With a pastry brush or your hands, rub the entire lamb with the Dijon mustard. Now roll it in the bread crumb mixture until the lamb is coated.

Grab some tinfoil and cover the ends of the bones to keep them from burning. Plus it totally looks cool.

Roast the lamb bone side down in the pre-heated oven for 12 to 18 minutes, Use a digital meat thermometer to ensure you cook it to your desired level of doneness. (See
Tips
below.)

Remove the lamb from the oven, cover loosely with tinfoil and allow to sit for ten minutes before carving.

Servings: 4

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Moderately difficult

Oven Temperature: 450°F

Preparation Time: 20 minutes

Cooking Time: 20 minutes

Total Time: 40 minutes

Dicks Tips

Meat keeps cooking when you remove it from the oven Dick. This is why people will often over cook their meat when following the direction of the meat thermometer. To outsmart the thermometer remove any roast about 5 degrees short of the target doneness temperature. (I know 'doneness' isn't a word but it should be.) See
Dicks Doneness Chart
for cooking temperatures but you're likely shooting for a medium rare here Dick or 130° - 140° F.

One at a Time Ladies Lasagna

Beating them off with a stick Dick? I didn't think so. This lasagna however, will have them lined up and begging for more.

Procedure

In a large pot add olive oil and butter, melting over medium heat.

Add chopped onion and sauté for five minutes or until onion begins to soften.

Add lean ground beef and cook until no longer pink. If you need to, drain any excess fat from pan.

Add your Six Month Mari-Me-Mi-Nara Sauce and tomato soup to the pot and bring to a soft boil before reducing heat to simmer, stirring occasionally.

Preheat the oven to 350° F.

In a bowl mix together eggs, ricotta, parmesan and spinach.

Spray your 13" x 9" baking pan with non-stick cooking spray, and then pour 1 cup of the meat sauce in to cover the bottom of the pan.

Arrange 4 of your noodles in the bottom of the pan on top of the sauce.

Scoop out half of your cottage cheese mixture and spread over noodles. Cover that with about ¾ cup of the meat sauce and then top with a cup each of the shredded cheddar and mozzarella cheese.

Arrange 4 more noodles on top of that and repeat the above step, reserving some sauce for the top.

Finally place four more noodles on the top layer, pour remaining sauce over them and then sprinkle the remaining shredded cheese over top.

Cover the lasagna with tinfoil and bake in the oven for 30 minutes. Remove tinfoil and bake for an additional 5 - 10 minutes or until cheese is just starting to brown.

Remove from oven and allow to sit for 5 - 10 minutes prior to serving.

Servings: 8

Dick’s Difficulty Gauge: Moderately difficult

Oven Temperature: 350°F

Preparation Time: 30 minutes

Cooking Time: 40 minutes

Inactive Time: 10 minutes

Total Time: 1 hour and 20 minutes

Dicks Tips

If you're not going to use the Six Month Mari-Me-Nara Sauce Dick (and really why wouldn't you?), then make sure you have a good sauce to use as a substitute. Kick it Italian style and serve up with some Dick's Bread and Butter garlic bread and Single and Sexy Caesar Salad.