See Me (16 page)

IN THE HOURS BEFORE
supper, I sat in a quiet corner of the open field to paint my nails. I leaned back against a tree at the edge of the forest, admiring my view of the village. It was interesting and sweet to see a few of the younger males helping the women folk do their chores, mostly the heavy lifting. They had flat carts, resembling wheelbarrows, which they used to move buckets of waste to a far area of the lands where they made compost.

Laughter sounded in the forest behind me. Rock chased Cass down the nearby path, and when he caught her, he pinned her to the tree and kissed her with a passion that surprised me. I had to look away and keep myself from yelling when he started getting handsy. I’d been so preoccupied with my own drama and emotional overload that I hadn’t taken time to ask what was up with those two.

Cassidy didn’t have the best track record when it came to guys. She couldn’t have a romantic fling without becoming emotionally involved. Rock posed a huge dilemma—too many factors stood in the way of them being together. His history being the biggest. Second being no way of having a long distanced relationship. Rock didn’t exactly have WIFI out here.

Cassidy came bursting out of the trail, running right past me.

“Hey,” I called. She spun, looking breathless and flushed, and smiled when she saw me.

“Hey.” She came over and sat down at my side. “Ooh, paint my nails?”

“Sure. You look happy.”

“Yeah.” She placed her hand on my knee and zoned out, visiting la-la land while I painted. I waited until I was on her second hand to talk.

“So… what’s up with you and Rock?”

She was silent as I swiped the polish twice over her pinky nail. I was afraid to look up.

“I’ve never met anyone like him. Ronan’s amazing.”

Ronan. Yeah, she had it bad.

“Amazing, huh?” I looked at her now, at the dazzled glint in her eyes.

“What would you say if I told you I’m thinking about… you know…?”

Uh, what the what?
I cleared my throat and I fought to stay calm as I answered. I didn’t want her doing anything she’d regret.

“I would say I think it’s a very bad idea.”

Her face tightened. “Why?”

She really had to ask?

“Cass, why would you give your virginity to a miscreant cousin of the Leprechaun who you’ll probably never see again?”

It came out meaner than I’d meant, like a major bash against her overall judgment, not to mention the guy she liked. She yanked her hand away from me.

“Oh, did I say
thinking
about it?” she snapped. “I meant I already have.”

“What?” I leapt to my feet, standing over her. “No. You’re lying.”

She shrugged nonchalantly, the challenge leaving her.

I needed to stay calm, but my voice rose despite my efforts. “When?!”

She looked away from me. “The night we first went to the waterfall.”

Oh, my goodness. She was serious. I thought back to that night. “When he stole our clothes? That was, like, our second day here!”

“Yeah, I guess I’m just fast like that.” Her eyes filled with hurt.

“No, that’s not what I said, Cass. I just meant… that was a long time ago. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Reigning in my emotion, I sat back down across from her. Cassidy had never withheld anything from me. I knew every detail of how far she’d gone with all of her past boyfriends. We told each other everything.

“Because I knew you’d react like this.” She crossed her arms, then uncrossed them and checked to see if she’d messed up her nails. “And because you were busy. And sad. I didn’t want to upset you more.”

While I’d been wallowing in self-pity about the stupid FFG, my baby sister had lost her virginity and had nobody to talk to.

“I wish you would have told me,” I whispered.

“I’m sorry, Sissy.”

She hadn’t called me Sissy in years. Cassidy’s eyes scrunched up and she covered her face as all the emotion she’d kept hidden came to the surface.

“Oh, Cass.” I sat down and held her close, letting her lean on my shoulder. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I should have been there for you.”

I was pretty sure Cassidy had never kept anything secret for two weeks.

“This whole trip I’ve been so emotional,” she sniffed. “I cry almost every time I’m alone. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

I did. In a way, she was losing her big sister. We only had a couple more months together. There was also the fact that she couldn’t help me against the FFG. Things weren’t working out the way we’d hoped. And then there was Rock: a fun distraction to help her escape it all.

“This whole thing has been overwhelming for both of us,” I told her. “But no matter what, don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to me. No matter how crazy things are.”

She sat up, nodding.

“Here comes McKale,” she whispered, wiping her eyes.

I followed her gaze. He’d finished work a little earlier than normal. Cassidy stood.

“You don’t have to leave,” I told her.

“It’s okay. I’m gonna go shower.”

“All right. I’ll see you at dinner.”

She left me, giving McKale a little wave as they passed one another.

I wished I had a more cheerful greeting for him when he sat down.

“Are ye all right, then?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” I felt myself clamming up.

Things had been more comfortable between McKale and I the last few days, but with each hour that passed I wondered if he’d been visited again. Constant fear nagged the back of my conscience. I hated it. And now there was this strange sense of loss that settled over me for Cass.

Needing to keep my hands busy, I opened the red polish and began to paint my toes. I’d already removed the cracked old polish. I felt McKale watching me.

“Has she come to see you again?” I made myself ask.

My stomach knotted up, and I felt him stiffen next to me.

“Nay,” he answered.

I kept painting. “Will you tell me if she does?”

“Do ye wish me to?” His voice remained quiet and solemn.

“Yes.”

“Aye. Then I will.”

I gave a curt nod and tried to push the topic from my mind.

One foot was done. I dunked the brush back into the little jar and McKale stilled me, placing his hand on mine.

“Might I try?” he asked.

I let him take the bottle of nail polish from me. He dunked the brush several times. When he brought it to his nose he jerked his head back and coughed.

“Yeah, the fumes are really strong. I should have warned you not to sniff it.”

He blinked his hazel eyes rapidly. Once his head cleared and he’d finished examining the bottle, he moved himself into position in front of me. I forced back a smile and pushed my foot closer to him. Just as he was about to touch the brush to my big toe, he pulled away.

“What if I bung it up?”

“I have this magic stuff here called nail polish remover here to fix any mistakes.” I held up the plastic bottle.

McKale looked apprehensive, but decided to take my word for it. He got to work, his tongue peeking out from the corner of his mouth as he concentrated. It was one of the most adorable things I’d ever seen. He was accurate, with an eye for small detail. We both peered down and admired my foot when he was finished. He lifted the brush to put it back in the jar, and his eyes got big.

“Oi! Bollocks. It’s on me!” We both looked down at his ankle, where he’d accidentally touched the brush. He tried to wipe it, but it smeared and he rubbed it frantically. I laughed and grabbed the polish remover, soaking a cotton ball.

“This is really strong, too,” I warned him. “Try not to breathe it in.”

I ran the cool cotton ball over the inside of his ankle, swirling it around until the red polish was gone. He ran a finger over the spot, marveling as if it really were magic.

“McKale?” I said.

“Hm?”

I didn’t want to ruin this nice moment, but I craved complete honesty between us.

“What’s going to happen?” I asked him. “She told you to stay away from me, and I’m pretty sure she wasn’t joking.”

He watched as I positioned my feet in the grass with care.

“I was no’ expecting a reaction such as that from her,” he said quietly. “I meant to be firm when I told her t’would not work, and then she laid hands on me… and my mind…”

I didn’t like the way his voice trailed off when he remembered her touch.

“Yeah, I know. I saw,” I reminded him. “You were…
dazzled
.”

His forehead knit together in misunderstood frustration.

“Aye, but it cannot be helped e’en when I fight it. A simple touch of Fae buggers the mind. Only the body can react.”

Lovely.

“Have you kissed her?” I asked. My heart kicked with jealousy at the thought.

He hesitated. “Nay… not properly.”

“What does that mean—not properly?” I asked.

He got shy again. “Just a touch of the lips, not like I’ve seen others snog.”

They’d pecked. How sweet. I wanted to kill her.

Someone called my name from a distance. McKale and I looked up. Mom was walking toward us, so we got up to meet her. She was worried, crossing her arms.

“Hi, McKale,” she said before focusing on me. “Did you have a fight with Cass?”

“Wha—no. I mean, we talked, but it wasn’t a fight.” Not exactly.

“I just went to get her for supper and it looks like she’s been crying. I don’t know what to do. She won’t talk to me.
You
won’t talk to me. What is going on with you girls?”

Oh, shoot, she was about to cry. Her eyes watered and she uncrossed her arms, running hands through her hair and then smacking them down at her sides with a shaky, loud sigh. I looked at McKale, who peered back at me with discomfort. I nodded and touched his arm, signaling that he could leave us.

Mom sniffled and shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to chase him off.”

“It’s okay, Mom. Come on, walk with me.”

We grabbed hands and strolled to the edge of the clearing, away from where the supper crowd was filtering in.

“Is it that boy, Rock?” she asked me.

“Partly. And part me. You know Cass. It’s hard for her to be cooped up here, knowing when it’s time to leave I won’t be coming home.”

“She’s going to have a hard time without you.”I looked down at the damp dirt under the tree canopy where we walked. “I know. She’s probably going to drive you and Dad nuts.”

“No more than usual. Okay, maybe slightly more than usual, but we can handle it.” She smiled and dabbed remnants of moisture away from her eyes with her fingers. “Are you sure that’s the only thing going on? She’s been so edgy.”

I carefully responded. “She’s just growing up.”

The simple answer seemed to pacify her. We walked in silence a few moments until she stopped and pulled my arm to turn us face-to-face. “Tell me what’s going on with you. Why have you been so sad? It looks like you and McKale are getting along. Am I wrong?”

I opened my mouth, prepared to feed her more generic falsehoods. When I looked into those loving eyes, what tumbled out instead was the truth.

“The Fae girl came back once after our first night here. She won’t keep her hands off McKale and I think she’s jealous that he seems to like me.” Terror flashed in Mom’s eyes and she stopped walking. “I don’t know, Mom. Please don’t say anything to Brogan.
Please
. We’re trying to work through it. McKale is trying to break ties with her, but you know. It’s a delicate situation.”

“Oh, dear heavens. Have mercy.” She closed her eyes.

“I don’t want you to lay awake at night worrying,” I told her. “I’m sure everything is going to be fine. I’m not getting involved—I’ll stay far away from her. McKale will deal with her and fix this.”

I hoped.

“It’s my job to worry about you, Robyn! Och, you’ve been holding this inside yourself this whole time? Do you have any idea how that grieves me so? I’m going to worry no matter what, so you may as well be open. Sometimes you have to rely on others for help. It’s not just about you and McKale. Your father and I, and Brogan, too, we all need to work together. If the Fae comes again—if there’s another altercation, no matter how small, come to us.
Immediately
. Swear it.”

I nodded. “I will. I swear.” Her grip tightened on my hand. She pulled me into a firm hug, mumbling something Irishy in her motherly way. Her accent had returned with a flourish since we’d been in Ireland.

As we turned to walk up for dinner together, the burden on my soul felt much lighter having confided in someone I trusted. When we got to the table, Dad was already there, sitting with Cassidy and McKale. Mom gave Dad a meaningful look and he nodded. They’d talk later.

Days passed with no visits or “altercations” as Mom called it. McKale was sweet to me, and I felt a rush each time I caught him gazing my way.

I tried to keep Cassidy busy and spend as much time with her as I could. I felt guilty for how self-centered I’d been and I wanted to make up for lost time. McKale showed my sister and me where we could find wild berries growing. We spent afternoons gorging on sun-sweetened strawberries and blackberries until our fingers were stained deep red and violet. Her spirits lifted, but with each passing day mine grew heavier with thoughts of my family leaving me and wondering when the FFG would show her perfect face again.