Seeking Love in Salvation (8 page)

“No problem. Anytime, Valentina. If you need anything, just let us know,” Beck said to her.

They gave her a nod and a smile and said good-bye to Kenny and Lois before they headed back next door. Beck got into his truck to pull it over toward his house.

As she got to the steps where her sister stood frozen, Valentina smiled at her. “They’re so nice. Helena was right, they are good neighbors.”

“I don’t like it. They’ll get comfortable and come over when they want. What if I’m alone and they try something?” she whispered.

“They won’t try anything. They’re not like that. They’re friendly.”

“They like you.”

Valentina felt guilty immediately. Her sister was so dependent on her that she feared Valentina leaving her and Kenny. Lois really needed to get her into counseling soon, even if she was resistant to that.

“They’re nice, but I’m not looking to date anyone. We have a busy week ahead of us.

“This afternoon we meet the counselor, and I can check into that job Helena mentioned. Tomorrow I meet with Gunny at the sheriff’s department, so I don’t have to head to the city to the main command center for the Rangers.”

“I’m not sure I want to do the counseling.”

“Honey, you need to, and so does Kenny. In fact, I think we ought to check out that school right down the road. It could be a great location for Kenny to start kindergarten, and it’s so close by. On nice days we could walk to get him,” she suggested.

“I don’t know. I’ll have to look at it. Can we go back inside?”

“Sure. We need to get ready. Come on, Kenny, were going to make some lunch and then head out on an adventure,” Valentina told him. Kenny cheered and then hugged her leg before he hugged his mom, and they all headed into the house.

“I don’t want to,” Kenny whispered as tears rolled down his cheeks and he held onto one of Valentina’s legs and one of Lois’s. Valentina caressed his hair and Lois held him tightly.

“I’m not going to hurt you, and Mommy and your aunt will be right here. They can see you right through this big glass window,” the therapist said to him as she reached her hand out.

“Honey, Mommy is right here. Go ahead with Miss Maggie. I can watch you,” Lois said, her heart aching. Her poor son had suffered because of her decision to get involved with Caden. The only thing she didn’t regret about falling in love with Caden, a soldier, was having Kenny. She would do anything for him. She knew he needed this counseling. He needed to be in school and have a normal life. Her anxieties and fears were weighing on him, and on Valentina. Lois knew it, but she had no control over the fear and the need to keep them both close to her. Tears filled her eyes.

“Look at all the cool toys, and those big puzzles. Can you maybe show Miss Maggie how good you are at puzzles?” Valentina asked Kenny, and he nodded his head. The therapist smiled and reached out her hand. “Come on and show me while Mommy and your aunt watch.”

He walked with the therapist into the room. At first he was hesitant and kept looking back at the glass widow. Val held Lois’s hand and squeezed it as they took a seat by the widow and kept an eye on things.

“She’s very nice and has a calm demeanor. When I spoke to a few of the therapists, I liked her the best and felt that Kenny would respond to her well. What do you think, Lois?” Val asked her.

“She seems nice.” She wiped her eyes before the tears fell.

“He’s going to be fine. You’re doing the right thing, and he needs this. He needs to feel like a normal kid and move on from the tragedy, just like you need to.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready. I mean the therapist I met is nice, she isn’t pushy, but Kenny is my first priority.”

“You can’t help Kenny if you don’t help yourself first. It’s going to take time, but that’s why we moved out here. It’s a beautiful, peaceful town, and everyone is friendly and nice.”

“They are,” Lois said and then bit her lower lip. She saw the therapist’s expression and then Kenny’s eyes well up with tears. He immediately looked at the window and sniffled. Lois and Val stood up and he went running to the door. The therapist opened it for him and he ran to Lois and hugged her.

Miss Maggie gave Val and Lois a sympathetic smile.

“It will take some time, but I think you’ve made the right decision. Let’s work out a schedule of sessions.”

“What do you think about the kindergarten program, or homeschooling him, or using that place near our house?” Val asked her.

“I think you can hold off on that kindergarten program until September. Let’s see how these sessions go.” She caressed Kenny’s hair and whispered to Val and Lois. “He’s hurting and scared. Too many changes right now could make matters worse.”

They both nodded and looked at one another. Lois could see the upset in her sister’s eyes. She’d ruined Val’s life, and she ruined her son’s life by allowing Caden back into her life and into her heart.

What would Val do if she found out I wasn’t home the day of the attack because I was doing a delivery for Caden and screwed it up? That it was my fault him and Don came to the house? That I pushed to leave New York because I knew that Don’s brother, Ganor, might seek revenge? I took the money and the drugs and stashed them to get back at Caden. If Ganor figured that out and realized his brother hadn’t stashed it away before Val killed him, would he come looking for me?

The tears hit her eyes. She couldn’t fix that. Not now, not when they were trying to gain back their lives. Eventually she would have to make things right with Don’s brother and cut the ties from their criminal family once and for all.

* * * *

Valentina ran through the woods in an attempt to get the sounds out of her head. Since leaving the therapist’s office and listening to Kenny crying, she couldn’t stop the flashbacks. She wished she could have seen the break-in coming, that she had been wearing her gun instead of keeping it locked up in the safe. If she was stronger, she could have broken down that door sooner. It didn’t matter that her cop friends were shocked that she broke down the door with the curtain rod. She pounded away over and over again to get to them. She couldn’t stand the way Kenny was crying and moaning, or Lois’s screams of fear.

She wiped her eyes as the tears fell. She ran harder, faster over the hills and through the deeper brush of the woods. She saw the images in her head. Don’s foot on top of Kenny on the floor, seeing his father assault his mother. Caden thrusting into her. Lois screaming and crying, her face beaten and battered.

She felt the pain to her stomach and she stopped running and grabbed onto the tree, hugging it. She wiped her eyes and calmed her breathing, then heard the breaking of branches.

“Valentina?”

She gasped. It was Sparrow.

“Hey.” She heard Beck’s voice, too. Oh, God, both of them are here. She wiped her eyes as best she could and then inhaled, exhaled, and straightened her shoulders to turn around. Both of them widened their eyes and then squinted. “Are you okay? Are you hurt?” Sparrow asked her. He reached out and covered her shoulder. She forced a smile and slid to the left, making his hand fall.

“Yeah, of course. I was just resting. I ran too hard,” she said and started to walk forward. Beck grabbed her hand, and she stopped but wouldn’t face him.

“You’re not fine. You’re upset. Are Kenny and Lois okay? You were gone all day,” Beck said to her.

She looked at him and he continued to hold her hand.

“It was a long day. I need to run, you know, clear my head,” she said and looked away from him again.

“If you need anything, even to talk...”

She shook her head and pulled her hand from him.

“I’m good, really. I guess the stress of it all, you know, moving and trying to get Lois and Kenny settled, is taking its toll. So, how about you guys? Out late for a run, aren’t you?” she asked.

“We saw you go out and were concerned. It gets dark fast and the critters come out at night. It could be dangerous,” Sparrow said to her, holding her gaze and looking her over.

“Why were you watching me?” she asked him, now on the defensive.

“It’s our job,” Sparrow said and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“Since when?” she asked.

“Since Ford asked us to.”

“Since I asked for my brothers and me to be assigned as your guardians.”

Her mouth dropped, and then she closed it and stepped back farther from them. She shook her head.

“I don’t need guardians.”

“It’s the law around here,” Sparrow said.

“Fuck that law.” She turned around to walk away but Beck reached for her hand again. She swung at him and he ducked. “I don’t need looking after,” she told him.

“It’s more than looking after. It’s being friends, and knowing you got us to watch your back and be here for you,” Beck told her.

“Why? Why do you want to do that? You don’t know me or my sister.”

“Because you need looking after. You all look so sad and scared most of the time, Val,” Beck told her. She felt the tears reach her eyes. She felt a mix of emotions. She didn’t get how that worked. Was it like staking a claim to a woman? Were they going to follow her all the time and make her feel like she was under guard or something? That thought had her looking both men over. Both wore tight green T-shirts that showed off their muscles and sweatpants that looked military issued.

“I don’t need anything from you.”

Beck stepped closer and cupped her cheek, placing his arm around her waist. “Maybe you do and don’t know it and can’t see it because you have this wall up keeping you locked away,” he said to her.

She locked onto his blue eyes and absorbed the feel of his arm snug around her waist and his hand against her cheek. She felt flushed and needy, and as he zeroed in on her lips, she wondered what it would feel like to be kissed by such a sexy, capable man. As the panic set in, his lips pressed against hers. Beck kissed her deeply and held her close. She was lost in his kiss and overwhelmed with the emotions she was feeling—the need to resist, the fear of being vulnerable or taken advantage of, and the arousal she had. As he explored her mouth. his brother Sparrow watched.

Her pussy clenched and cream dripped from her dormant cunt. Then she felt the second set of hands on her shoulders and lips gently press against her neck.

Beck slowly released her lips, only for Sparrow to kiss her next. They were both holding her between them and it was so wild and crazy to feel safe and protected. It made her feel like she needed them and she didn’t need anyone. She had to keep Lois and Kenny safe, to help heal them. She couldn’t entertain any pleasantries for herself. They must have sensed her pulling back, because both men slowly stopped kissing her. She felt Beck’s hand over her ass and Sparrow’s warm palm against her hip and over her belly, under her shirt. She panicked. She couldn’t let them see her scars, the gunshot wounds. They would ask questions and she didn’t want to talk about it all, or relive it.

“Damn, I was waiting to kiss you. It was killing me to wait,” Beck said as he caressed her chin.

“We shouldn’t have done that,” she said and Sparrow shook his head. “Don’t. Don’t try to minimize this. I’m just as shocked as you are, like Ridge and Jace are going to be when they find out.”

“Find out what?” she asked, surprised that by him mentioning Jace and Ridge she felt her pussy clench again.

“That you’re perfect for us, and we plan on making you our woman,” Sparrow said, and even Beck looked a little shocked, but then he smiled.

“Damn straight,” Beck told her and then pressed closer and kissed her again. It was a quick kiss as he held her around the waist.

“We better head back. It’s getting dark,” Sparrow said, and they started heading out of the woods and along the path leading back to the property. Valentina felt numb, and she wondered if what they said and what they did had happened or if she was losing her mind. What did they mean, ‘claim her their woman?’ Like, all four brothers claim her? Sexually?

She was in a panic, especially as they came across the yard and Jace and Ridge were standing there, watching them. When both Sparrow and Beck kissed her goodnight, she couldn’t help but glance toward the porch and see the shocked expressions on their faces. Then Jace stormed off, looking angry as Ridge gave a wickedly sexy smile.

How the heck did this all happen, and why wasn’t she feeling scared out of her mind about it? Was she interested in this kind of relationship, or sexual encounter? What would happen when it ended and they broke things off with her? Could she still live here with Kenny and Lois? She couldn’t make them move again. The constant changes were weighing on Kenny.

“We’ll talk more tomorrow, make some plans,” Sparrow said to her. She grabbed his hand. She shook her head.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what? Entertain and accept the attraction we all feel for one another?” Beck asked.

“Yes. It will never work out. I can’t expose Kenny and Lois to any more changes or pain. We’ve been through too much, and they just started counseling. All the changes are affecting Kenny,” she blurted out.

“Counseling? For what?” Sparrow asked, squinting at her. Shit. Now they would have more questions.