Seems Like Old Times (36 page)

"I’m sorry, Bruce." She handed him his apartment
key. "Someday, I hope we can once again be friends."

He stared at it lying in his palm,
then
closed his fist around it. "Would you come in so we can talk about this?
You owe me an explanation."

"What can I say that hasn't already been said? I
really am sorry. You deserve better." She turned to leave.

"I’m not through with you." He grabbed her arm.

She pressed her lips and stepped into his elegant
Victorian and Oriental living room. "This isn’t about you, Bruce,"
she said immediately. "It’s me. I’m feeling very confused."

His next words only emphasized the rift between them.
"Confused? Teenagers are confused. Thirty-five year old women are not
confused. You were fine until you went back to that...that Mukluk-whatever
place. You act like you’re the one who died instead of your mother."

She rubbed her arms. "I know it doesn’t make
sense--"

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her toward him. "Get
clear on one thing right now, Lee. I’ve tried to be understanding, but I’m
through. I don’t want you walking out on me."

"You can’t stop me, Bruce." Controlling her
anger, she freed her arm and took a step from him--one step that stretched like
a chasm between them.

"Good God, Lee. Don’t you get it? I want us to marry.
Now.
I want you here, with me as your husband. We make
a good team. We’d be America’s sweethearts.
You on Nighttime
News--if they’ll still have you after you’ve waffled all these months--and me
as CEO for Atlas Insurance.
I don’t see how you can throw it all
away."

"America’s just going to have to find another couple,
sweetheart." She turned to go.

"Will you wake up to what you’re doing? This is
important!"

That stopped her cold.
Important?
How odd. She once thought it was very important--just like Bruce did. "I
guess I just don’t care anymore."

Her indifference increased his animosity, and he spat out
his words, pointing his finger at her accusingly. "You don’t care, but I
do. You need me--if nothing else to help guide your career. Those people you
snub today are the ones who’ll make or break you tomorrow. Don’t forget it! You
need their support. When wrinkles show on TV, don’t think the producer’s going
to keep you around unless he has to. And another thing, that Edie
Canham
isn’t half bad as your replacement. There were lots
of people who noticed her.
A hell of a lot!"

"Are you through?"

He got the door ahead of her, blocking her way. "I
won’t allow--"

"Bruce! Don’t you get it? We used
each other
to
get ahead." She was sorry that the friendship they’d once shared had
vanished, but at the same time, she experienced a sense of relief. She could
see how far apart they’d grown. "What we had was good for both of us while
it lasted.
But no more."

His jaw tightened and she could see the muscles twitching.
Then he raised his quivering chin, stepped aside and let her go. "You’re a
cold bitch, Lee Reynolds. I don’t think you have one honest emotion in your
whole body!"

o0o

"Lee, thank you for coming by." Jake Metcalf,
general manager of CABN-TV, held out his hand to her as she entered his office.
It was
mid November
, a little more than a month after
the play-offs, the World Series, and the last time she saw Tony.

"Hello, Jake, how have you been?"

"Not bad, Lee. Especially the way our ratings are
going through the roof. I want you to know that I know it's you, not Rick
Archer, who's the glue that holds that fabric together, the...the...thread in
the stitches of that station, the...the..."

"Pin on the donkey's tail?" she suggested. Much
of the credit of
Newscene's
success was due in part
to Jake, whose award-winning astuteness managed of every aspect of a news show.

"Exactly!" he said. "And now we all know
what part of the donkey Rick Archer is, don't we?"

She smiled. It was her first smile in weeks and it felt
surprisingly good. "I won't argue."

"Now," Jake leaned forward on his desk, his
hands clasped. "The bottom line, as you know, is that Rick Archer has been
here for decades. The public sees whatever comes out of his mouth as the next
best thing to the word of God. He's an institution, and I wouldn't want to
change that. However, we're starting a new weekly news show. I'11 personally
oversee its production, at least the first month or two. It'll run for an hour
and be made up of short segments of topical interest--interviews and investigations
involving politicians, actors and actresses, crooks. You name it."

"It's a familiar format," she said, not even
trying to force cheerfulness. She'd learned this past month that such feelings
dropped like rocks into some hollow place within her. Blessedly, the numbness
that came from her parting with Tony overlaid everything else. She had tried to
deny his parting words to her, then raged against them, then cried as the
devastating realization of their truth hit her. He'd been right--she’d learned
well from Judith.
Too well.
She’d become everything
she’d been taught she should want to be. Judith had called her worthless, and
she'd devoted fifteen years of her life to proving her wrong. That was what
Tony was really saying, and he was right.

The irony of it was
,
Judith had
won. She'd driven Lisa away from Tony, even from her friend Cheryl, and caused
Lisa to push herself harder than she would have otherwise. Without Judith, Lee
Reynolds would never have come into existence.

"It's familiar, but the public eats it up," Jake
said. "Anyway, we'd like you on our team. We’d also like your input on a
couple of five to ten minute segments a week--your choice, for the most part.
We’ll have a list for you to choose from if you don’t have a burning desire to
work on a particular topic of your own on any given week."

"You want me as a reporter?"

"Not just as a reporter. We’d also like you to be a
co-host on the show along with Aaron Josephs. He’s one of our best newsmen, as
I'm sure you know. Good looking and smart. Together, you two will be dynamite!
And...your
name would get top billing."

She was shocked. Her agent had indicated a terrific offer
was in the works, but this was far more than she'd dreamed. This was exactly
the type of news show she’d always wanted to work on. "What about Evening
Newscene
?"

"I like that about you, Lee. You're loyal. You don't
want to leave anyone in the lurch. Look, we'll have all week to put the new
show together,
then
air it on Tuesdays. I can get you
out of your anchor job for the Tuesday evening broadcast. That way you'll have
an entire week, plus the weekend to develop and film your own segments."

Such a schedule would be nothing less than grueling, but
she liked it. She wanted it. "You've thought of everything."

"I hope so, Lee."

"Give me some time to consider it, Jake. My agent
will call you."

"The show will start in three weeks. We're yanking a
turkey off the air as fast as we can. We need your decision right away."

"You'll get it."

o0o

Lee threw herself into the excitement and hard work of
beginning a new show. She got along terrifically with Aaron Josephs, whose dry
wit appealed to her. On the air, their chemistry made them instant media
darlings. On a personal level, the new show kept her so busy that she had
little time to think about the past, or Tony, or Ben.

She was a demanding taskmaster, intolerant of sloppiness
and expecting no less than perfection from her crew. Her energy and brains
intimidated the younger employees on the set, and yet, they loved being there.
The studio had a hunger and energy in the air when she was near that kept
everyone invigorated.

At night, she'd fall into bed completely exhausted, and go
straight to sleep. She lost weight, which brought out the dramatic contours of
her face even more strongly.

Gradually, the numbness wore off around her heart, leaving
behind regrets and a lingering sadness. She could do no more than to accept the
past--its joy and its grief, its good fortune and its terrible mistakes. Her
love for Tony would always be a part of her. She knew that. If, at times, a
seemingly familiar dark head in a crowd, or a sultry pair of brown eyes would
cause her heart to race, she could accept that, too. And with that acceptance,
she found herself beginning to enjoy life again and to shake the cool
detachment that had sheltered her emotions from pain for so many years--and had
blunted her from life.

As the first hectic weeks of starting a new show winded
down to a dull roar, her schedule eased up a bit and she found time to
socialize. The news of her break-up with Bruce had made the rounds--she
discreetly fielded questions about the cause of their separation--and
invitations from all the other eligible bachelors, including some who were
hardly eligible or bachelors, filled her answering machine and e-mail. She went
out with a few, but was never moved to give more than a goodnight kiss.

Only on occasion did she have a sleepless night wondering
what was happening with Tony and Ben. Ironically, although she had tried to explain
everything to him that day after the hearing, he ended up explaining even more
to her. As the harshness of their words eased, she had hoped understanding
would come, and he would call. But he didn’t.

That phase of her life was truly over.
Time
to move on.

o0o

Slowly, but steadily, the weeks went by. Day by day, the
New York weather turned colder. In the excitement of starting up the "One
Hour Report" show, she missed Halloween, but there was no ignoring the
major holidays.

Lots of parties and festivities were going on. Lee went to
a couple of them and enjoyed the company of friends and associates. Bruce
showed up at one with Melanie. Lee greeted them, but they were clearly
uncomfortable seeing her.

One of the women she worked with invited her to a quiet
Thanksgiving dinner at her apartment. The woman, Rhonda, had no family in New
York. Despite Lee's invitation to dine at the home of the state senate's
majority leader, she decided to join her co-worker. Rhonda served something
called "turkey a la king" over boiled noodles. They ate, joked,
laughed and got drunk together. Riding home in the cab, Lee knew she'd made the
right choice.

Soon, snow was falling, turning everything a beautiful
white. Miriam complained about the cold in Miwok--fifty to fifty five during
the day, dropping to the low forties at night, Lee just laughed, facing with
wind chill factors of zero degrees in New York City.

She bought a sad little Christmas tree that stole her
heart. It was far too scrawny, which was probably why it was still in the small
corner lot when she passed by. Only three feet tall, she stood it on a lamp
table, and decorated it with old fashioned, colorful glass ornaments. Lee had
never bothered to buy a tree before, but something made her want to have one
this year. She hoped she wasn't turning sentimental. Lee had bragged for years
that she had all the sentimentality of a commodities broker.

She liked the tree a lot.

Christmas approached. Since she had taken off so much time
earlier in the year, she offered to work extra shifts and let the other anchors
spend the day with their families. There were several requests for dates, and
invitations to parties, but she turned them down, half-truthfully pleading a
busy workload. Even her new friend Rhonda flew home to Wisconsin to be with her
family for Christmas. Lee talked to Miriam, who was going to spend the holiday
with Gene. Right after New Year, the two of them would spend two days in New
York with her,
then
fly to Rome for a week before
picking up a cruise ship in Venice that would head for Greece.

Miriam said if she could stand two weeks on a ship with
"that man," in one little cabin, the two of them might give serious
thought to getting married. Lee was sure Miriam was going to love every minute
of the trip.

On Christmas Day she was exhausted by the time she got
home after the eleven o'clock broadcast. She had pre-ordered an elegant ready
cooked meal from
Balducci's
, including dessert, and
ate until she thought she'd be sick. It was a heavenly--and heavy--indulgence.

She put on the radio to listen to some carols, lit the
lights on her Christmas tree, got out the
Osterizer
,
and made herself a delicious, giant-sized Brandy Alexander. She’d forgotten how
delicious they were.

o0o

January 18 was Tony's thirty sixth
birthday
.
She thought about it all day, and as much as she tried to force it out of her
mind, it obstinately stayed with her.

When she went home, her telephone beckoned. But she
wouldn't call him. It was up to him now. She had hurt him more than she’d ever
known, and he’d turned her out of his life because of it. She had to accept
that.

She tried to eat dinner--a salad with some canned shrimp
but she couldn't seem to swallow. Her gaze kept drifting toward the phone. She
wondered if he was having a party, who was with him. Gene was still on the
cruise with Miriam. The two had been like a couple of kids when Lee saw them
over New Year’s, Gene looking handsome and her aunt more stylish and vivacious
than ever. She had never seen Miriam so happy, or so much in love. They
bickered constantly, and Lee knew they wouldn’t have had it any other way.

She put down the fork, and walked to the sofa to sit
beside the phone. Maybe if she were beside it, she wouldn't look at it so
often. She folded her hands,
then
peeked out of the corner
of her eye. He would call her when, and if, he was ready.