Selected Stories (93 page)

‘Drunk, was he?' Mrs Fettley asked.

‘Never! S'runk an' wizen; ‘is clothes ‘angin' on 'im like bags, an' the back of ‘is neck whiter'n chalk. 'Twas all I could do not to oppen my arms an' cry after him. But I swallowed me spittle till I was back 'ome again an' the chillern abed. Then I says to Bessie after supper, “What in de world's come to ‘Arry Mockler?” Bessie told me ‘e'd been a-Hospital for two months, ‘long o' cuttin' ‘is foot wid a spade, muckin' out the old pond at Smalldene. There was poison in de dirt, an' it rooshed up ‘is leg, like, an' come out all over him. 'E 'adn't been back to ‘is job – carterin' at Smalldene – more'n a fortnight. She told me the Doctor said he'd go off, likely, with the November frostes; an' ‘is mother 'ad told ‘er that 'e didn't rightly eat nor sleep, an' sweated ‘imself into pools, no odds ‘ow chill 'e lay. An' spit terrible o' mornin's. “Dearie me,” I says. “But, mebbe, hoppin' ‘ll set 'im right again,” an' I licked me thread-point an' I fetched me needle's eye up to it an' I threads me needle under de lamp, steady as rocks. An' dat night (me bed was in de wash-house) I cried an' I cried. An'
you
know, Liz – for you've been with me in my throes – it takes summat to make me cry.'

‘Yes; but chile-bearin' is on'y just pain,' said Mrs Fettley.

‘I come round by cock-crow, an' dabbed cold tea on me eyes to take away the signs. Long towards nex' evenin' – I was settin' out to lay some flowers on me 'usband's grave, for the look o' the thing – I met ‘Arry over against where the War Memorial is now. 'E was comin' back from ‘is ‘orses, so 'e couldn't
not
see me. I looked 'im all over, an “'Arry,” I says twix' me teeth, “come back an' rest-up in Lunnon.” “I won't take it,” he says, “for I can give ye naught.” “I don't ask it,” I says. “By God's Own Name, I don't ask na'un! On'y come up an' see a Lunnon doctor.“‘E lifts ‘is two ‘eavy eyes at me: “'Tis past that, Gra',” 'e says. “I've but a few months left.” ‘“Arry!” I says.
“My
man!” I says. I couldn't say no more. 'Twas all up in me throat. “Thank ye kindly, Gra',” 'e says (but 'e never says “my woman”), an' 'e went on up-street an' ‘is mother – Oh, damn ‘er! – she was watchin' for 'im, an' she shut de door be'ind 'im.'

Mrs Fettley stretched an arm across the table, and made to finger Mrs Ashcroft's sleeve at the wrist, but the other moved it out of reach.

‘So I went on to the churchyard with my flowers, an' I remembered my 'usband's warnin' that night he spoke. 'E
was
death-wise, an' it ‘
ad
‘appened as 'e said. But as I was settin' down de jam-pot on the grave-mound, it come over me there was one thing I
could
do for ‘Arry. Doctor or no Doctor, I thought I'd make a trial of it. So I did. Nex' mornin', a bill came down from our Lunnon green-grocer. Mrs Marshall, she'd lef' me petty cash for suchlike – o' course – but I tole Bess 'twas for me to come an' open the ‘ouse. So I went up, afternoon train.'

‘An' – but I know you 'adn't – 'adn't you no fear?'

‘What for? There was nothin' front o' me but my own shame an' God's croolty. I couldn't ever get ‘Arry – ‘ow
could
I? I knowed it must go on burnin' till it burned me out.'

‘Aie!' said Mrs Fettley, reaching for the wrist again, and this time Mrs Ashcroft permitted it.

‘Yit 'twas a comfort to know I could try
this
for 'im. So I went an' I paid the green-grocer's bill, an' put ‘is receipt in me hand-bag, an' then I stepped round to Mrs Ellis – our char – an' got the ‘ouse-keys an' opened the ‘ouse. First, I made me bed to come back to (God's Own Name! Me bed to lie upon!). Nex' I made me a cup o' tea an' sat down in the kitchen thinkin', till ‘long towards dusk. Terrible close, 'twas. Then I dressed me an' went out with the receipt in me ‘and-bag, feignin' to study it for an address, like. Fourteen, Wadloes Road, was the place – a liddle basement-kitchen ‘ouse, in a row of twenty-thirty such, an' tiddy strips o' walled garden in front – the paint off the front doors, an'
na'un done to na'un since ever so long. There wasn't 'ardly no one in the streets 'cept the cats. '
Twas
'ot too! I turned into the gate bold as brass; up de steps I went an' I ringed the front-door bell. She pealed loud, like it do in an empty house. When she'd all ceased, I 'eard a cheer, like, pushed back on de floor o' the kitchen. Then I 'eard feet on de kitchen-stairs, like it might ha' been a heavy woman in slippers. They come up to de stairhead, acrost the hall – I 'eard the bare boards creak under 'em – an' at de front door dey stopped. I stooped me to the letter-box slit, an' I says: “Let me take everythin' bad that's in store for my man, ‘Arry Mockler, for love's sake.” Then, whatever it was ‘tother side de door let its breath out, like, as if it 'ad been holdin' it for to 'ear better.'

‘Nothin' was
said
to ye?' Mrs Fettley demanded.

‘Na'un. She just breathed out – a sort of
A-ah
, like. Then the steps went back an' downstairs to the kitchen – all draggy – an' I heard the cheer drawed up again.'

‘An' you abode on de doorstep, throughout all, Gra'?'

Mrs Ashcroft nodded.

‘Then I went away, an' a man passin' says to me: “Didn't you know that house was empty?” “No,” I says. “I must ha' been given the wrong number.” An' I went back to our ‘ouse, an' I went to bed; for I was fair flogged out. 'Twas too ‘ot to sleep more'n snatches, so I walked me about, lyin' down betweens, till crack o' dawn. Then I went to the kitchen to make me a cup o' tea, an' I hitted meself just above the ankle on an old roastin‘-jack o' mine that Mrs Ellis had moved out from the corner, her last cleanin'. An' so – nex' after that – I waited till the Marshalls come back o' their holiday.'

‘Alone there? I'd ha' thought you'd 'ad enough of empty houses,' said Mrs Fettley, horrified.

‘Oh, Mrs Ellis an' Sophy was runnin' in an' out soon's I was back, an' ‘twixt us we cleaned de house again top-to-bottom. There's allus a hand's turn more to do in every house. An' that's ‘ow 'twas with me that autumn an' winter, in Lunnon.'

‘Then na'un hap – overtook ye for your doin's?'

Mrs Ashcroft smiled. ‘No. Not then. ‘Long in November I sent Bessie ten shillin's.'

‘You was allus free-‘anded,' Mrs Fettley interrupted.

‘An' I got what I paid for, with the rest o' the news. She said the hoppin' 'ad set 'im up wonderful. ‘E'd 'ad six weeks of it, and now 'e was back again carterin' at Smalldene. No odds to me
ow
it 'ad ‘appened – ‘slong's it ‘
ad
. But I dunno as my ten shillin's eased me much. ‘Arry bein'
dead
, like, ‘e'd ha' been mine, till Judgment. ‘Arry bein' alive, ‘e'd
like as not pick up with some woman middlin' quick. I raged over that. Come spring, I 'ad somethin' else to rage for. I'd growed a nasty little weepin' boil, like, on me shin, just above the boot-top, that wouldn't heal no shape. It made me sick to look at it, for I'm clean-fleshed by nature. Chop me all over with a spade, an' I'd heal like turf. Then Mrs Marshall she set ‘er own doctor at me. 'E said I ought to ha' come to him at first go-off, ‘stead o' drawin' all manner o' dyed stockin's over it for months. 'E said I'd stood up too much to me work, for it was settin' very close atop of a big swelled vein, like, behither the small o' me ankle. “Slow come, slow go,” 'e says. “Lay your leg up on high an' rest it,” he says, “an' 'twill ease off. Don't let it close up too soon. You've got a very fine leg, Mrs Ashcroft,” 'e says. An' he put wet dressin's on it.'

‘'E done right.' Mrs Fettley spoke firmly. ‘Wet dressin's to wet wounds. They draw de humours, same's a lamp-wick draws de oil.'

‘That's true. An' Mrs Marshall was allus at me to make me set down more, an' dat nigh healed it up. An' then after a while they packed me off down to Bessie's to finish the cure; for I ain't the sort to sit down when I ought to stand up. You was back in the village then, Liz.'

‘I was. I was, but – never did I guess!'

‘I didn't desire ye to.' Mrs Ashcroft smiled. ‘I saw ‘Arry once or twice in de street, wonnerful fleshed up an' restored back. Then, one day I didn't see 'im, an' ‘is mother told me one of ‘is ‘orses 'ad lashed out an' caught 'im on the ‘ip. So 'e was abed an' middlin' painful. An' Bessie, she says to his mother, 'twas a pity ‘Arry 'adn't a woman of ‘is own to take the nursin' off ‘er. And the old lady
was
mad! She told us that ‘Arry 'ad never looked after any woman in ‘is born days, an' as long as she was atop the mowlds, she'd contrive for 'im till ‘er two ‘ands dropped off. So I knowed she'd do watch-dog for me, 'thout askin' for bones.'

Mrs Fettley rocked with small laughter.

‘That day,' Mrs Ashcroft went on, ‘I'd stood on me feet nigh all the time, watchin' the doctor go in an' out; for they thought it might be ‘is ribs, too. That made my boil break again, issuin' an' weepin'. But it turned out ‘twadn't ribs at all, an' ‘Arry 'ad a good night. When I heard that, nex' mornin', I says to meself, “I won't lay two an' two together
yit
. I'll keep me leg down a week, an' see what comes of it.” It didn't hurt me that day, to speak of – ‘seemed more to draw the strength out o' me like – an' ‘Arry 'ad another good night. That made me persevere; but I didn't dare lay two an' two together till the weekend, an' then, ‘Arry come forth e'en a'most ‘imself again – na'un hurt outside ner in of him. I nigh fell on me knees in de wash-house when Bessie was up-street. “I've got ye now, my man,” I says. “You'll take
your good from me 'thout knowin' it till my life's end. O God send me long to live for ‘Arry's sake!” I says. An' I dunno that didn't still me ragin's.'

‘For good?' Mrs Fettley asked.

‘They come back, plenty times, but, let be how ‘twould, I knowed I was doin' for 'im. I
knowed
it. I took an' worked me pains on an' off, like regulatin' my own range, till I learned to 'ave 'em at my commandments. An' that was funny, too. There was times, Liz, when my trouble ‘ud all s'rink an' dry up, like. First, I used to try an' fetch it on again; bein' fearful to leave ‘Arry alone too long for anythin' to lay ‘old of. Prasin'ly I come to see that was a sign he'd do all right awhile, an' so I saved myself.'

‘'Ow long for?' Mrs Fettley asked, with deepest interest.

‘I've gone de better part of a year onct or twice with na'un more to show than the liddle weepin' core of it, like.
All
s'rinked up an' dried off. Then he'd inflame up – for a warnin' – an' I'd suffer it. When I couldn't no more – an' I ‘
ad
to keep on goin' with my Lunnon work – I'd lay me leg high on a cheer till it eased. Not too quick. I knowed by the feel of it, those times, dat ‘Arry was in need. Then I'd send another five shillin's to Bess, or somethin' for the chillern, to find out if, mebbe, ‘e'd took any hurt through my neglects. 'Twas
so
! Year in, year out, I worked it dat way, Liz, an' 'e got ‘is good from me 'thout knowin' – for years and years.'

‘But what did
you
get out of it, Gra'?' Mrs Fettley almost wailed. ‘Did ye see 'im reg'lar?'

‘Times – when I was ‘ere on me ‘ol'days. An' more, now that I'm ‘ere for good. But ‘e's never looked at me, ner any other woman ‘cept ‘is mother. ‘Ow I used to watch an' listen! So did she.'

‘Years an' years!' Mrs Fettley repeated. ‘An' where's 'e workin' at now?'

‘Oh, ‘e's give up carterin' quite a while. He's workin' for one o' them big tractorizin' firms – plowin' sometimes, an' sometimes off with lorries – fur as Wales, I've 'eard. He comes 'ome to ‘is mother ‘tween whiles; but I don't set eyes on him now, fer weeks on end. No odds! ‘Is job keeps 'im from continuin' in one stay anywheres.'

‘But – just for de sake o' sayin' somethin' – s'pose ‘Arry
did
get married?' said Mrs Fettley.

Mrs Ashcroft drew her breath sharply between her still even and natural teeth. ‘
Dat
ain't been required of me,' she answered. ‘I reckon my pains ‘ull be counted agin that. Don't
you
, Liz?'

‘It ought to be, dearie. It ought to be.'

‘It
do
'urt sometimes. You shall see it when Nurse comes. She thinks I don't know it's turned.'

Mrs Fettley understood. Human nature seldom walks up to the word ‘cancer'.

‘Be ye certain sure, Gra'?' she asked.

‘I was sure of it when old Mr Marshall 'ad me up to ‘is study an' spoke a long piece about my faithful service. I've obliged 'em on an' off for a goodish time, but not enough for a pension. But they give me a weekly ‘lowance for life. I knew what
that
sinnified – as long as three years ago.'

‘Dat don't
prove
it, Gra'.'

‘To give fifteen bob a week to a woman ‘oo'd live twenty year in the course o' nature? It
do
!

‘You're mistook! You're mistook!' Mrs Fettley insisted.

‘Liz, there's
no
mistakin' when the edges are all heaped up, like – same as a collar. You'll see it. An' I laid out Dora Wickwood, too.
She
'ad it under the arm-pit, like.'