Selling the Drama (37 page)

"Toby," Charlotte admonished, her cheeks
flooding with embarrassment on account of his poor attitude.

The doctor gave her a sympathetic smile
before returning his attention back to Toby. "You aren't the first
person to lose a limb. You won't be the last," he stated bluntly.
"You can blame me all you like, but at the end of the day, it's
still gone. It is what it is. I took off your leg because my job in
that operating room was to save your life. What you chose to do
with that life now is your business, but I don't recommend lying
there cursing the loss of your leg for too long because I'll tell
you one thing for sure, when they wheeled you in, I had you written
off. Well and truly. You're alive, and there are far worse things
to learn to live with than having one leg. I understand your anger,
I'm not without sympathy, but you cannot change what's happened.
The sooner you accept it, the sooner you will be up and out of
here." The doctor tapped the bedrail twice before giving Charlotte
a nod and then turning to leave the room.

"Well," Toby drawled, "that doctor is an
arsehole. Who the fuck does he think he is talking to me like that?
Get me my phone. I am recording every word that fuck wit says to me
from here on in."

Charlotte remained facing the door, closing
her eyes with a weariness that ran deep. This was going to be a
rough road. A very rough road indeed. "You're phone doesn't exist
anymore," she said, turning from the door to face Toby. "It was
destroyed in the accident."

He frowned and rolled his neck with a
flinch. "Then get me a new one. Can you press that button again? I
feel like shit." He closed his eyes. If not for the pain she could
see evident on his face, she might have left him there to deal with
it on his own. But he was clearly in agony, and she loved him too
much to leave him like that, even if he was being a complete
dickhead.

Leaning forwards so she could press the
button for him, Toby reached out and grabbed for her hand. He was
unable to move enough to be able to take a proper hold of it
though, so Charlotte took over, curling his fingers into her own.
He clung to her, his eyes opening, tears filling them.

"I am so sorry."

Charlotte cupped his face with her free
hand. "What on earth are you sorry for?"

He shook his head, tears falling freely down
his face now. "I was speeding. And talking on my phone. This is my
own fault."

Charlotte stared down at him in silence. She
swallowed deeply, running his confession through her mind. She was
always telling him not to speed. He was always insisting that he
kept to the limit, yet she knew this was not true, because he
always seemed to get to where he was going so much quicker than he
should have. The obsessive way he managed his time had always been
of concern to her. "How fast?" she asked him, adopting a careful
tone.

"I don't know exactly. More than one twenty,
maybe as much as one forty."

"Toby, it was raining! Why would you drive
that fast?! And on your phone, too!" She released his face, pulling
her hand from his so she could turn away from him, crossing over to
look out the window, the inky black beyond giving her nothing more
to see than her own reflection staring wearily back in at her.
There was man out there, a truck driver, possibly facing charges
for something he may well not be responsible for. She would have to
tell Jake.

"I was in a hurry. I had to get to court by
a certain time," he said from behind her. "I needed to be on my
phone because I needed to get all the details before going into
court."

Charlotte laughed without humour, turning
back to face him, her head shaking from side to side. "Well, that
worked out well for you," she said, bitterness sharpening her
words. And then, overcome by anguish, she cried out: "You almost
died! You still could! You understand that, right? You haven't
beaten this infection; you could get another one, one that doesn't
get better." Hot tears slipped down her cheeks, but she ignored
them, too angry at him all of a sudden to care about hiding them
from him. She was furious in fact, all of the emotion from the last
few days converging within her and brewing into a magnificent
storm. "You arrogant arsehole!" She crossed back to the bed to look
down at him, her eyes fierce. "We have four kids!"

He said nothing to her, reaching out to grab
her hand with his good one, squeezing it tightly. She stared down
at him, her eyes getting lost in his. Squeezing his hand back, she
leaned towards him, resting her forehead against his, their noses
touching, their breaths intermingling. Toby's lips sought hers with
a desperation close to starvation.

"You aren't allowed to die," she whispered
against his mouth.

"I have no intention of dying," he whispered
back. "This arrogant arsehole still has a doctor to sue."

She laughed at that, her tears coming
faster. "I love you."

"You've said that to me twice now in the
space of a few days."

"I know. I'm going overboard." She kissed
him once more, so very grateful that she could.

"Charlotte." Toby squeezed her hand again,
not letting up with the pressure. "I am so frightened. I can't
move; there's pain everywhere, and I have no leg!" He started to
cry, a sob escaping him, a sound so broken and raw Charlotte felt
it cut right through her. "I have no fucking leg!"

She cradled him as best she could, given his
fragile state, unable to offer him anything else in the way of
comfort.

Jenna and Chad turned up at the hospital the
next day, both looking sombre as they poked their heads around the
doorway. Charlotte got up to greet them, Jenna's arms quickly
wrapping her up tightly.

Chad slipped past them, heading over to the
hospital bed. "Hey man."

"Hey," Toby replied. "You've come a long
way."

Chad nodded. "You looked completely
fucked."

Toby grinned up at him. It was hard to know
with Chad if his directness was on account of his brain injury or
if he had always been that way; none of them had known him before.
Either way, it was a trait Toby appreciated. Most people filtered
what they said as a matter of course; Chad was just straight up
honest, no qualms about whether or not he was going to offend.
"That's about what I am right now," Toby answered him, returning
the candour.

"At least your head was spared," Chad noted,
indicating Toby's bandage free head.

Toby nodded to him. That had been one of the
first things he had noticed and the relief had been immense. At
least, at some point down the track once he got back onto his feet,
or foot as the case really was, he would be able to return to
work.

Chad's eyes travelled over him, assessing
the extent of his injuries, his gaze lingering on the bandaged
stump that used to be Toby's leg. He said nothing though, his eyes
returning back up to Toby's face, a look of sympathy contained
within his expression that was somehow worse to endure than if he
had just come right out and said something about it. Toby turned
away, glancing over at Charlotte and Jenna, but that was no better,
the pair of them crying but trying to hide it from him. He shut his
eyes instead, pretending to drift off, wishing all the while that
he really could.

Charlotte could not remember a time before
when she and Toby had spent so much continuous time together. Sure
enough, the days were interrupted by a steady flow of visitors, yet
this was only in short bursts. No one wanted to stay for long, and
if Charlotte was to be honest, this was largely owing to Toby's
surliness. He was not interested in having anyone other than
herself around him. And she understood this, would not want it any
other way. But she missed their children. They were all so tiny and
dependent and she felt entirely excluded from their lives in a way
that brought her to tears if she allowed her mind to dwell on it
for too long. She missed holding and feeding Danielle; listening to
Ashley recount his days at school in that serious little manner he
had; Bree's effervescence and cheeky manner; and Courtney's way of
curling up across her lap to go to sleep, her little thumb stuck
hard in her mouth.

"You should go home for a while," Toby
suggested, on more than one occasion.

Yet despite missing their children
desperately, she could not bring herself to leave him. He was still
critical; anything could happen while she was not with him.

Chad turned up alone a couple of days after
his and Jenna's initial visit. "Hey," he greeted in his usual way,
knocking on the door softly.

Charlotte looked over at the doorway in
surprise. "Hi. Where's Jenna?"

He walked into the room, casting a glance
over at Toby, who was sleeping. "With your kids."

"Oh. Okay then. What are you doing here?"
Charlotte blushed then, her words sounding rude, even to her own
ears. "Sorry, that came out wrong. I just meant, why are you here
on your own? I didn't mean to sound so snappy."

Chad shrugged, sending her a crooked grin.
"All good. I think you need to go home for the day. I've come to
relieve you."

Charlotte shook her head immediately.
"Thanks, but I have to stay. I'm not ready to leave him yet, he's
still far too unwell. Just this morning the doctor came in and was
worried about-"

Chad cut her off. "Charlotte, I wasn't
asking. I was telling you that I'm relieving you. You need to go
home for a while. It's Saturday, all the kids are at home, and it's
a good day for you to be there. I'll stay with him for as long as
you need, you don't have anything to worry about. I'll text you if
we need you."

Charlotte drew in a deep breath and held it
for a few moments, considering, before letting it out, shaking her
head once more. "I can't."

"Your kids are not coping."

Charlotte looked up at him, that statement,
delivered with all the bluntness she had come to expect from Chad,
hitting her where it hurt. "What? Ellie and Jake said they're all
fine. Mum said they've hardly even noticed we're not there with
everyone else around."

"They're lying to you so you won't feel
bad." Chad seated himself down beside her, casting her a
sympathetic glance accompanied with a shrug of his shoulders. "You
really believed that bullshit?"

She slumped then, her head resting against
the side of his shoulder. He slung his arm around her loosely and
gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head. "I wanted to believe
it."

Chad made no response, so Charlotte got to
her feet, crossing over to Toby who was still sleeping, although he
was very restless, giving her reason to believe the pain was
becoming too much for him again and that he would soon wake. She
pressed the pain reliever button once more before turning back to
face Chad, crossing over to the side bench to gather up her purse
and phone. "You'll text me?" she asked him pointedly.

"Sure will. Every hour. And if something bad
happens, I'll actually ring you."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Thanks for the
reassurance."

"No worries," he replied, completely
oblivious to her sarcasm. "I'll set an alarm in my phone so I don't
forget." He pulled it out and started to tap away at the
screen.

Charlotte stared at him for a moment,
completely convinced this was a bad idea. "Make sure you put what
you need to remember in that alarm. Otherwise you won't know why
it's going off in your pocket."

Now it was Chad's turn to roll his eyes.
"Duh. I am well practiced at setting myself alarms, Charlotte. It's
how I get through most of my days. Now go. You're wasting time. And
don't come back before five, at least."

Casting one more glance at Toby, Charlotte
turned on her heel and left the hospital room, exiting the ward for
the first time in nine days.

Toby opened his eyes, settling his gaze onto
Chad. "Well played."

Chad shrugged, casting him a lopsided grin.
"I had a feeling you weren't asleep. I could see your eyelids
flickering."

"The kids are okay though, aren't they? You
just made that up, didn't you?" As his own mind cleared and the
periods he was awake lengthened, Toby thought more and more about
the kids and how they were faring without Charlotte. They were all
so used to having her at their beck and call twenty four hours a
day. Not him so much as her.

"No. Ashley is very worried and Bree keeps
asking if you're dead. Courtney won't stop crying and has taken to
sleeping with Ashley. Danielle hates that bottle. Barely eats.
Cries all the time. It's pretty fucking grim. Much quieter here."
Chad's honesty was as usual unfailing.

Toby closed his eyes briefly, cursing under
his breath. "Thanks then, for making her go home for a while."

"I didn't do it for the kids. I did it for
you."

"What do you mean?"

Chad sauntered over to the side of the bed,
draping his arms casually over the bed rail. He looked down at Toby
for a few moments before responding, his expression neutral. "It's
hard, to have people around you all the time. You have to hold it
together constantly, when all you want to do is sink down and
switch off. But they love you and you love them and it's completely
impossible to tell them that you just want a couple of hours to
yourself, where you don't have to pretend anymore, where you can
lie there and think about what's happened to you without being
asked what you're thinking about every time you're quiet. I figure
that whatever you say or don't say to me while I'm here won't
matter either way; I'm probably going to forget it by
tomorrow."

Toby chuckled at that, wincing as the
movement caught his ribs. "And if I say nothing to you all
day?"

"Suits me. I don't really want to listen to
your whiny bullshit anyway."