Senior Prank (9781620957295) (8 page)

As they turned the corner to head down the corridor to the football office, they looked up and in the second floor rafters were three or four large campaign posters, reading ‘Busch for Governor, He Really Represents Us.' These were left from the last campaign and referred to the governor's opponent, Mark Busch.

As the governor looked up, he quipped, “I guess not everybody's a supporter of the real governor. Well you can't please them all.”

“Sorry, governor,” Winston added, “hope you don't take offense. Hey, I voted for you.”

“No offense, thanks for your vote. Now where's the football office?” The group arrived at the football office at 11:43 a.m. As they entered, head coach Bill Welsh got up to meet them. A few of his coaches, and about 15 of his star players were on hand. Coach McCarthy, after the library incident, wasn't there. He figured he had to lay low and out of Winston's way.

Coach Welsh greeted the governor, his wife and members of his group with a handshake and said, “Welcome to the home of the Thomas Jefferson Patriots, five time state football champions. Thanks for coming. Now I'll let you meet some of my coaches and players. If you don't mind some of us would like to get a photo with you.

I have two special players I want you to meet.”

Football was the king sport at TJHS. Every year the team produced records between 12-2 and 15-0, depending on how far the team advanced in the state playoffs. The school had a number of players every year earn college scholarships. The locker room was on par with a top college program. The field was Astroturf. The trophy case bulged with trophies and awards. Word had it that teachers were even intimidated to provide grades that would keep top players eligible.

After a round of photos, Coach Welsh introduced the first of his two special players, Nick Edwards. Nick was a top offensive lineman who was paralyzed from the waist down in a car surfing accident three months ago. His goal was to graduate on time, and despite his hardship he made it to school every day. He had signed a scholarship to Texas Tech University last February before his accident. He still hoped to go to Tech, although the school was now rescinding the offer after his accident.

“Son, sorry about your accident,” said the governor. “Hope you get a complete recovery. I admire you for continuing to make school your goal. Good luck.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it,” answered Nick. “It's just a new challenge in life.”

Then came the handshake with Kevin Williams. Williams is the team's top wide receiver. He has been arrested twice and kicked out of one school. The father of one of the team's other players, an attorney, pulled enough strings to keep him eligible to play.

Williams got special instruction and lessons from many of his teachers, a result of his parole. He spent most of the days doing those lessons in the locker room, assisted by a host of other players. He was rated one of the top recruits in the state.

“It's my pleasure to meet you,” said the governor. “I understand you're having a good season. You know we'd love to have you at the University of Texas. Keep up the good work and stay healthy.”

“Thank you, sir,” answered Williams. “I've been in contact with UT, but I ain't sure where I'm going yet. I just want to help us win another state championship.”

Then the governor asked about the presence of Teddy “Big Bear” Hamilton. “I want to meet him,” said the governor, “and remind him UT is thinking of him, too.”

“He told me he'd be a little late,” said the coach. “He had some business to take care of.” This is where Elvis came in.

Elvis knew he could not get the potion to Big Bear in the locker room, so he arranged a meeting with a ‘sports agent' to discuss some payments to play for certain colleges. Elvis told Big Bear the agent would meet him under the football bleachers at 11:45 a.m. The agent was actually a member of Elvis' band posing for fun as the agent for the prank.

Elvis met the pair under the bleachers about Noon. Elvis was wearing a Frankenstein mask so he couldn't be identified. He walked up from behind and told Bear to get back to the football office but say nothing of the meeting or he could get declared ineligible for the rest of the year, or even in college. “You can't say anything,” Frankenstein told him. “Coach, your parents, anybody. Got it?”

“Yes, sure do. This meeting never happened.” With that Frankenstein sprayed Bear in the face with the formula, telling him it would cool him off. Frankenstein then left, taking the route that would allow minimal exposure. He hid the mask in his pants after he was out of sight of the pair.

Frankenstein's monster, Big Bear, walked into the locker room, and the coach immediately called him over and together both started walking towards the governor.

“Governor, this is Big Bear Hamilton.” he offered. “One of our best of all time.”

“My pleasure. Can I call you Big Bear?” asked the governor. “Coach tells me you are the main man on defense.”

“Thanks, but we're a team,” answered Big Bear. “Mr. Governor you look hot in that suit. You are a real hottie. You are pretty buff. I'd love to see you in the showers. You interested in taking a walk on the….

“Er, excuse Big Bear,” Coach Welsh blurted in. “Quit joking around.”

“No, I'm not joking,” countered Bear, sliding his body so it could rub into the governor's side. “Why do you think I like those big pile ups on the football field? It gives me a chance to show my other side,” winking at the governor and pinching the policitian's butt.

“Sorry, governor,” the coach said. “He's not really…”

The governor stunned by the action and conversation pulled away from the group and said, “Excuse me, I want to look at some of your trophies and talk to some of the other players. Big Bear keep UT in mind.”

The coach grabbed Big Bear and said, “BB I don't know what's wrong with you, but man you can't act like that. You got to behave. Now go in the back and don't let me see you anymore during this visit.”

Winston didn't see the interchanges between the governor and Big Bear and the coach and Big Bear as the principal was circulating among the players. However, Coach Welsh came over to Winston and let him know what had happened.

“Let's just hope the governor thinks he was goofing off,” he told the principal. “For now I told him to go in the back and stay out of here. I told two players not to let him out from there.”

Just then another player came frantically running into the locker room hollering, “Coach, we got a problem. The football field's on fire.”

Coach Welsh ran towards the fire extinguisher shouting to two of his coaches, “One of you call 9-1-1 and one of you follow me. Grab an extinguisher on the way there. Excuse me Mr. Governor, we have to take care of this.”

The trio headed to the football field and saw a flaming spear buried into the ground near one endzone and a mess of fresh cow mature spread throughout the endzone. The coach sprayed the spear, extinguishing it. In the distance he heard the sirens of the fire trucks. “You stay and meet them and tell them false alarm,” Welsh told one of the assistants. Better yet call them back and tell them no need to come.”

As Coach Welsh re-entered the locker room, he said to all, “No big deal. Looks like the Westside Warriors gave us a visit to remind us of our game Friday night. It's under control. Just more fuel on the fire.”

With that Winston said, “Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think it's time to have lunch. We all can use a break today.” Before heading out, they got another surprise. One of the players ran from the back of locker room carrying a full bucket of water.

“I'm goin' put that fire out,” he said, just as he tripped hurling the water into the air. It landed mostly on the governor's wife, drenching her from head to toe.

“Oh, my God, I'm so sorry,” Winston said. “Son, how could you be so careless? Get her some towels.” As she stood there, the player said, “Maam, I didn't mean to do it. I'm sorry. It was an accident.”

Winston suggested that she be given a football robe and wait while her dress was dried in the football room's dryer. “You go on,” she insisted. “I should be over there in a few minutes.” She waited with the coaches in the football office while her dress spun in the dryer. The governor's wife in a robe in the football locker room wasn't on the agenda for this day. However, one student captured the incident on his phone. It was sure to become a YouTube sensation, and in few hours, it was.

At 12:25, right on schedule, the group, minus the governor's wife, arrived for lunch. The room was able to accommodate only 25 people, so it was limited to two school board members, the five others in the governor's party, Winston, Diaz, eight members of the county school administration, five teachers and two special guests – the presidents of the PTA and Booster Clubs.

Upon entering, tables with nameplates greeted each guest. Before seating Sonny Pulston, Missy's mother and president of the PTA, went up to the governor and said,

“Hi, Governor Montoya, my name is Sonny Pulston, and I am president of the school PTA. My family is a big fan. Perhaps you met my daughter Missy earlier in the day. She's in the National Honor Society. She had on blue suede shoes. She hopes to intern in the governor's office one day. By the way, where's the first lady?”

“She'd tied up at the moment,” answered the Governor, diplomatically avoiding an attention to the unfortunate earlier incident. “She'll be here shortly. I think I remember Missy. She left quite an impression. Thank you.”

With that Winston said “Would everyone please be seated? The staff will serve you once all are seated.” As they sat a television set tuned to a local station played on, most unaware of what was being said. Suddenly, one of the teachers near the television said, “Look they are talking about our school!” She jumped up and upped the volume.

With that the anchor went to a field reporter, who was stationed in front of the school. The room became silent, all listening to the news report.

“This is Tom Roberts, reporting from Houston's Thomas Jefferson High School,” the reporter started. “Today is the big day for Thomas Jefferson. The governor and judges from the All American School panel are touring the school. The school's one of the few in the state nominated for this honor. However, word has it that the visit so far hasn't gone well.”

As everyone silently listened in disbelief, the reporter continued. “There have been reports of a number of incidents and pranks that took place during the visit. We weren't allowed to join the group for the visit, so we are getting accounts from students. We'll have to wait until the principal holds a news conference this afternoon.”

“What have you heard that seemed didn't go right? the anchor asked the reporter.

“Students acting funny, a student locked in a janitor's closet, mice running around the auditorium, a fart machine in class, inappropriate language and computer usage….those are just some of the things students are telling us.”

“Turn that off!” Winston said, “That's the way the media usually is – looking for the negative. Tell them Governor, it's been real.” A teacher jumped up and pushed the off button, ending the reminders of Winston's nightmares.

“Sure has,” Governor Montoya said, continuing his meal. He told his chauffeur to get the limo and bring it outside of the cafeteria. “Check on the wife,” he said as the driver departed.

At 12:55 the governor's wife entered the lunch room. Her dress was dry but wrinkled. “Sorry honey, you'll have to get a meal to go,” the Governor told her. “Folks, we have five minutes left before we conclude our visit. We have another appointment at 2 p.m. about 25 miles away and you know traffic. I want to be on time.

“It's been my pleasure,” he continued. “I've seen some unique items at this school. To me, it's an All American School, but remember I don't make that decision. I've seen some people I won't forget. Now if anybody has any last minute photos, let's get them done so I can move on. Again, thank you.”

The governor held the door open to let his wife exit first. As she entered the hall, she heard a loud “WATCH OUT” coming from up the hall. She turned to see two pigs and a horse coming at her. The governor grabbed her by the arm and jerked her back into the safety of the room. The pigs, horse, and about 10 Future Farmer of America students in pursuit ran past.

“Someone apparently left the gate open and the animals got out,” said Winston, as though it was no big deal, despite the fact the pigs missed the governor's wife by less than a second. “They'll catch ‘em soon. The pigs tire out fast.”

Winston told Diaz to take the rest of the group to their van in front of the school, while he would escort the governor and his wife to their limo. As the pair neared the limo the governor would get one last reminder of his visit. The same reporter that had been reporting from the school approached the governor and principal asking for a quick comment. Winston declined but the governor gave just enough for a soundbite to the persistent reporter.

“I enjoyed my visit to the school,” the governor offered. “It was very unique.”

“Do you think they'll be selected as one of the All American Schools?” the reporter asked.

“That's not only my decision,” he said avoiding any controversy. “We have a panel of judges and criteria that will determine that.”

“Can you comment on any of the incidents or pranks you saw today?”

“No, I won't. I got to go. Thanks.”

Just then, a speeding football sailed through the air well past its intended target. It appeared headed for the side of the limo. Winston thought not again. “WHACK!” went the football into the side of the car, leaving a dent in the passenger's side back door.

A student retrieved the football, saying, “Sorry, Ernie thinks he's Peyton Manning.”