Septimity and The Blood Brotherhood: The Third Hilarious Glothic Tale (The Glothic Tales Book 3) (11 page)

BOOK: Septimity and The Blood Brotherhood: The Third Hilarious Glothic Tale (The Glothic Tales Book 3)
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Where To Now?

‘Where?’

‘Sun System Twenty-Four.’

‘I didn’t know there was a Twenty-Four,’ Stikkly Smikkle said still confused by Sep’s idea.

‘Yes. It’s there.’

‘But how far is it Sep? It must be light years away.’

‘Oh I don’t know about all the technicalities, but with a Cosmic Cruiser it must be easy.’

‘Well, it’s big, but it’s really just an oversized passenger ship Sep. Not something designed for deep space flight.’

‘Well, can you check and see what’s possible?’

‘Alright. I’ll check, but I can’t promise you anything. To get to the outer Sun Systems means navigating through a few CTCs.’

‘A few what?’

‘Closed timelike curves. They reduce the time it takes to get to a place a long way away but they’re normally only useful for small craft and also extremely dangerous. I really don’t know that a Glothic Cosmic Cruiser has ever been flung though one.’

‘Flung?’

‘Yes, it’s a bit like a sling-shot.’

‘Sounds easy enough.’

‘Maybe, but one miscalculation and you could end up being stuck inside the CTC forever and never be seen again. Or worse, shot out at ten times the speed of light and shot straight into the nearest sun.’

‘I really think this Earth sounds like a nice new home for our passengers,’ Sep said, ignoring Smikkle’s dire warnings.

‘Alright Sep. Let me look at it. I don’t want to be floating around in Gloth orbit forever either.’

‘I knew you’d be able to do it.’

‘Give me a day or so. I can’t promise you anything yet.’

‘I’ll start making plans then.’

‘Alright then. Let me see what I can do,’ Smikkle said giving up on trying to convince Sep of the dangers. ‘Are you staying aboard or going back down to Gloth?’

‘I might stay for tonight and go back tomorrow, if that’s all right with you.’

*****

‘How long have you been in service at the palace Mr Kcaapaak?’

‘Oh, I think it must be nearing sixty years sir,’ Kcaapaak replied as he helped Huphnic Grundlestick, the new Supreme Potentate, dress for an official dinner with the ambassadors from Sun System Nine.

‘So you’ve seen many Potentates come and go then.’

‘Too many I’m afraid sir. Far too many.’

‘Yes, I imagine it wasn’t easy. Quite an unpredictable lot the Gregorians in recent years.’

‘All I can say sir, is that I’m very pleased to serve you.’

‘You are discreet Mr Kcaapaak. Something I value highly indeed. So do you intend to stay in service?’

‘I have a few years left in me yet I believe sir, and if it is your wish, I am very much looking forward to your term as Supreme Potentate. I have waited a long time as have many of my brothers.’

‘So you’re a member of the Blood Brotherhood then.’

‘Yes sir, but only as one who hoped for change one day.’

‘As we all were Mr Kcaapaak. I’m still amazed by how many people on Gloth were members yet the secret remained so secure. I never would have believed that such high ranking officials as Kaybob Krizzle, The Puissant of Karhoonaa were Blood Brotherhood members.’

‘Yes, it was quite a shock sir for me too sir. The day of your investiture was certainly full of surprises.’

‘Well Mr Kcaapaak, am I fittingly attired for an official Glothic dinner?’

‘Yes sir. All done.’

‘Damn uncomfortable though if you ask me.’

‘It would seem that the official wardrobe for the Supreme Potentate was designed with purposes in mind other than comfort sir.’

‘Similar to my dress uniforms in Glothic High Command. Oh well, hopefully the next Potentate will believe in a less formal approach.’

‘You could make some changes yourself sir, if you pardon my being so forward.’

‘I could yes. But my very short term is only to permit a smooth transition to a new Supreme Potentate and not to make changes.’

‘I understand sir. So do you intend to return to Glothic High Command once your tenure is complete?’

‘Perhaps, or maybe retirement would be a better idea.’

‘Well sir, your guests await your arrival. Shall I call the Gregori…oh, I’m sorry. Old habits die hard. Shall I call the Glothic Guard to accompany you to the dining hall?’

‘Yes. I’m ready.’

Within a few minutes six members of the newly unified Glothic Guard, which was a merger the old Gregorian Guard with two specialised units from the Glothic High Command Guard, arrived to escort Huphnic the First to dinner. Kcrikklli Kcaapaak closed the doors of the Royal dressing room and then stood at the window overlooking the Palace Gardens. Reflecting on the last short few days that had brought so much change and restored his pride in being the man in waiting to the Supreme Potentate. At last after so many years he was again respected by his employer and could conduct himself with dignity. What he appreciated the most was that finally he could enter into intelligent and polite conversation while conducting his duties.

He tidied the dressing room and once finished, headed to the staff quarters for a short break. Arriving just after eight to find a number of palace staff relaxing after their rosters had finished.

‘Ah Kcrikklli! Come and join us for a drink,’ Sone Swifftli said as he and a group of palace tailors were clearly winding down for the day. Kcrikklli nodded his acceptance and started towards the table.

‘And Chef too!’ Sone said as Chef walked in behind Kcrikklli.

‘Well, we may as well then,’ Chef said to Kcrikklli as they walked towards the table.

‘A good day then gentlemen?’ Sone asked.

‘A splendid day. Couldn’t wish for better,’ Kcrikklli replied.

‘Yes, I have to agree. What a change in just a few days. And no more damn bowls of Kiddlepops flying around the dining room,’ Chef said with a hearty laugh.

‘Now that is an improvement Chef.’

‘Well Kcrikklli, if you do miss them, I’ll happily prepare a bowl for your breakfast,’ Chef laughed.

‘Never Chef!’

‘And you Sone? How’s your lot now,’ Chef asked.

‘So little to do now. This Huphnic fellow is a dream come true. I had to do some minor alterations for him yesterday and he is so polite and easy to talk to. It was all done so quickly, I was actually disappointed that we’d finished.’

‘Same here. He came down to visit the kitchen. No Potentate has ever visited my kitchen so I was shocked to see him walk in unannounced. But he just said he was having a look around and wanted to meet me and my staff. All the lads were smiling for hours later. He seems like a real gentleman.’

‘I can vouch for that Chef,’ Kcrikklli said. ‘In a way I’m only disappointed that his commission is so short. We can only hope for someone half his equal as our next Potentate.’

‘Well, we’d better enjoy it while we can,’ Sone added. ‘But it could never be as bad as the last horrid years. I’m so glad to see the back of those Gregorians.’

‘Me too,’ Chef said. ‘By the way. Where are they all now?’

‘In orbit on a Glothic Cosmic Cruiser I believe,’ Kcrikklli said.

‘So where to for that lot?’ Chef asked.

‘No idea. I did hear a rumour that they were going to be sent back to Erde.’

‘Best place for them,’ Chef said.

‘Too close for my liking. Can’t they find somewhere further?’ Sone laughed.

‘I’m sure there will be a reasonable outcome,’ Kcrikklli said.

‘Always the diplomat hey Kcrikklli,’ Sone said.

*****

‘I hate this! I hate this food!’ April screamed as he flung his full dinner plate into the air, landing most unfortunately on the head of ex High Councillor Sckwatt two rows ahead. Sckwatt launched to his feet, wiping away food from his face and clearly identified who had launched the offending food.

‘Control that monster of yours madam!’ he screamed at January sitting alongside April.

‘How dare you speak to me like that?’ she screamed back as she jumped to her feet.

‘Restrain that revolting child of yours or I shall call the guard!’

‘You cannot talk to me like that! Have you no respect’’

‘For you madam no. For your child even less. It’s your fault we’re here. You and your family have been a disgrace.’

‘I want foooooood!! I want fooooood!’ April continued to scream as January and Sckwatt exchanged verbal blows across the rows of seats between them.

‘You are nobody. I refuse to listen to your insults,’ January screeched as she launched herself bodily from her seat and scrambled over the couple rows of seats in front of her, intent on tearing Sckwatt limb from limb.

‘I’ll kill you!’

‘Guard! Guard!’ Sckwatt shouted, but it was some time before the Luxury Class cabin door opened and by then January had made it to Sckwatt’s seat and had secured Sckwatt by his collar was furiously intent on choking him.

‘I want foooooood!! I want fooooood!’ April continued to scream.

‘Shut up you little creep,’ an unidentified voice yelled out from some rows away.

‘Someone shut that monster’s mouth!’ came another.

‘You will all die for this!’ January screamed as she firmed her hold on Sckwatt’s throat with her legs flailing in the faces of the passengers in the row behind Sckwatt. They grabbed at her feet to protect themselves, which only prompted January to scream louder.

‘I want foooooood!! I want fooooood! I want foo……’ April continued to wail but was stopped half word by a swift slap across the face from an ex-Gregorian Guard, who had the misfortune to have been born carrying the Erdean gene. He was sitting in the adjacent seat across from April and could take no more of the fiasco. Roars of approval from the other passengers followed.

‘It’s your fault we’re all hear you creep,’ he spat.

‘Mmmuuummmyyyy! Mmmuuummmyyyy! Mmmuu….’ April started to scream again but was yet again stopped mid word by another passenger who took the opportunity to slap April one more time. Now noticing that her son was under attack, January loosened her grip on Sckwatt’s throat and rolled off the top of the seats, landing bodily in the aisle. She bounced up and ran back towards April’s attackers screaming like a wild animal. She lashed out at the ex-Gregorian Guard with her finger nails but she was no match for him and he quickly and easily restrained her by grabbing and turning her wrist and forcing her to the floor.

‘Noooooo! Nooooo! Mmmuuuummyyyy!’ April continued to scream as he kicked his feet and flailed his arms about in rage. The entire Luxury Class cabin were on their feet shouting abuse at January and April as two Lacertilian Guards finally entered the cabin. One immediately dashing off to call for reinforcements as he realised what was happening.

‘Arrest this woman!’ Sckwatt yelled out to the remaining guard. ‘She tried to kill me!’

The one Lacertilian Guard at the cabin door looked at Sckwatt and calmly returned a hand gesture suggesting Sckwatt sit down. Of course Sckwatt didn’t, but the guard calmly observed the situation and could see that January was well subdued and that April’s tantrum, although loud, was not presenting a danger to anyone.

‘Do something!’ Sckwatt yelled out above the abuse that was still being hurled at January, but was ignored by the guard who was intent on waiting for assistance before venturing into the chaos. Within only a few minutes, twenty Lacertilian Guards filed into the Luxury Class cabin and set about restoring order.

‘We’ll take care of this,’ one Lacertilian Guard said to the ex-Gregorian Guard who loosened his grip on January.

‘Mmuuummmmmy! Muuumm……’

‘Shut up!’ a Lacertilian Guard said so loudly and with such menace, April halted mid word. ‘You’ve got a funny tongue,’ April said in a sudden change of temperament.

‘Get those two out of here and into isolation,’ one of the Lacertilian Guards ordered from near the cabin door. As January and April were led out of the cabin, the rest of the passengers hissed and hurled more abuse.

‘Settle down!’ the Lacertilian Guard near the cabin door ordered. ‘All of you, back to your seats. The situation is over.’

After a minute or two, a little calm came over the cabin with only the sound of chatter about the calamity.

‘Sir. If you could come with me please,’ the Lacertilian Guard asked Sckwatt.

‘I trust you will do something about this,’ Sckwatt said as he stood and headed towards the door.

‘This way sir,’ was all the guard said as he ushered Sckwatt off for a quiet word about the incident.

*****

‘We had a little incident in Luxury Class,’ the leader of the Lacertilian Guard aboard the Cosmic Cruiser told Lieutenant Commander Stikkly Smikkle.

‘Yes, I heard. So what’s the situation now?’

‘All calm now sir. We’ve isolated the lady and her son and they’re both unharmed. However I would recommend keeping them away from the other passengers from Gloth as there seems to be a great deal of ill will towards the lady and her son.’

‘Yes. Quite understandable given the circumstances. And the other passengers?’

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