Serendipity (7 page)

I just like fucking you.

Bitch. She was trying to hurt him; he realized that. And she had done a damn good job of it. What had he done to deserve this kind of treatment? He'd been kind and caring, he adored her children. He would give anything to make her happy, and all she seemed to want to give in return was her body. And even that was on a limited basis. He couldn't kiss her in public; touch her where the children could see them.

She wouldn't even let him move into her room, insisting that he keep his own even though he'd told her to rent it out a hundred times. A clanking noise caught his attention.

The bartender, a pretty woman in her early twenties, stood before him, polishing a glass.

"Want another drink, handsome?" she said, giving him a broad smile. Her look was appraising, an open invitation. He squinted at her, trying to focus on her face. But all he could see were her large, impressive breasts. Something was on them, a nametag. Giselle.

She gave a throaty laugh and leaned forward on her elbows, giving him a better view. He realized he could have her if he wanted her, and she'd probably be a hell of a lot more open to him than Sarai.

"Sure, I'll take another," he said, smiling at her. But the gesture felt hollow; he wasn't interested in this woman. He'd spent so much of his life chasing after so many women; he'd never dreamed he could be satisfied with just one. But now that he'd met Sarai, the thought of touching anyone else left him cold.

There was no doubt she was his lifemate.

Who was she to deny that? By Saurellian law, he could take her. He could just take her in his ship to Saurellia, and not a man or woman in the entire system would blame him for his actions. She was
his
, and only his. She had no right to turn him away.

He took another drink, warming to the idea. That's what he would do. He'd just take her. He threw down some change on the bar to cover his bill and a little extra for Giselle, and stood unsteadily. His vision blurred, and he wondered for a minute just how long he had been there. He walked slowly and carefully to the door, then opened it.

Someone had turned off the sun.

Wait. No. It was dark outside. He must have been in the bar far longer than he realized.

Not that it mattered. He would go collect Sarai and the children and they would go to Saurellia. The people there would explain everything to her, and she'd realize she didn't have any choice but to stay with him. The thought made him smile, and he started humming a little song as he walked down the street. Everything was going to be fine.

It took him a long time to get home. For some reason he kept turning down the wrong street, and after a while he started getting angry with himself. He had had far too much to drink, he realized. He would have to be careful of that, because Seth had told him that Calvin, Sarai's first husband, had been a drinker. She probably didn't like men who drank.

Calvin.

Now there was a man he'd like to kill, he mused. A part of him almost regretted he was already dead. Sarai had killed him herself, though. To save her children. Seth had been there, and told him all about it. She was such a strong, spunky woman. He loved that about her. She was like a wild feline, willing to do anything to protect her young ones. She might not be a Saurellian woman, but she was definitely as fierce as any daughter of the Goddess.

She hadn't given Calvin any mercy when it counted.

An hour later, he arrived at the hostel, and let himself in the side gate. Moving as quietly as he could, he made his way along the side of the building until he reached the little clearing outside Sarai's bedroom. The door was open just a crack to let in the fresh night air, although the light was off. He looked up at the moon, realizing it was quite late.

She'd probably been asleep for hours.

He sat on the bench, staring up into the night sky and thinking. Calvin. Damn he hated that man. He had beaten Sarai, terrorized her and the children. He had controlled their every move on that little asteroid mining station. She hadn't seen anyone else for months at a time.

Realization hit him.

If he took Sarai to Saurellia against her will he'd lose any chance of ever winning her love. It was so obvious, he felt like hitting himself in the head. How could he have missed it?

Sarai was afraid to lose her independence, and she was using their sexual relationship to protect her from any kind of emotional dependence on him. As long as it was just sex, her independence wasn't in jeopardy.

He was a dolt, a complete idiot. Pushing her for sex had given her the excuse she needed to keep him distant. With a clenching feeling in his stomach, Jax realized he was going to have to put the sex on hold. He only had one week left, and in the time he was going to have to convince her she wanted him for more than just the physical pleasure he could give her.

He had to convince her to take him as her partner, her equal.

"Shit," he murmured into the darkness. It wasn't going to be easy.

* * * * *

Sarai lay alone in the darkness, wishing desperately that Jax had come home. She couldn't believe she'd said such horrible things to him. Of course, it had worked. He was gone. That was what she wanted. But now she was finding it almost impossible to fall asleep without him, and just kept thinking about the look on his face as she'd screamed at him

He really hadn't done anything to deserve that. He wasn't going to steal her away, Saurellian law or not. She knew it instinctively. He cared about her and the children too much to hurt them like that.

So why are you so afraid of him?
She asked herself.
He's not Calvin.

So maybe not all men were like Calvin. She had come to realize that, started to realize it a long time ago. Before she even met Jax. But she still couldn't quite bring herself to let go of that fear, to put herself into a man's power. It was such a gamble, trusting a man. Was she willing to risk her children's future on Jax? For all his talk of being a life mate, she hardly knew the man.

She rolled over in bed, punching at her pillow and trying to find a cool spot. Jax wasn't with her, and as far she could tell, he wasn't up in his room. She'd been listening. He hadn't taken his things, so she knew he'd be back, at least long enough to pack. She didn't expect him to stick around any longer. Sure, he still had another week of their little "bargain," but now that he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere, he'd be leaving.

Against her will, she sniffed. Her nose was getting stuffed up, she thought in disgust.

Her eyes were watering, too. Probably just allergies. One of the bushes outside her window was blooming. She'd have to start sleeping with the door closed. It was a shame, really, because she loved the night air.

She snuffled again, and this time her eyes watered more. She crushed her head down into the pillow and gave in to reality. She missed him already. The thought of him leaving was horrid. Sobs tore through her and she whimpered into the darkness of her room. How was she going to live without him?

Chapter Seven

"Good morning, Sarai," Jax said as he walked into the kitchen. He had a bit of a headache, and the bright light made him want to wince. He wasn't going to show it, though.

He already felt stupid about drinking the night before. A lecture was the last thing he needed.

"Good morning, Jax," she replied from her seat at the table, not looking at him. The two children watched them with interest.

"How come you didn't sleep with mommy last night, Jax?" Mali asked brightly. Sarai dropped her spoon with a clatter and Jax coughed.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?" Sarai asked, her voice deceptively soft. Jax could tell the question made her angry.

"We're not stupid, you know," Able said, putting down his own spoon. He looked at them smugly. "Mali and I know all about where Jax has been sleeping. We've been watching you guys. You're caught."

"Well, I won't be sleeping with Sarai any more," Jax said quietly. "Not unless she decides she wants to keep me for good. I love her very much, and I want to marry her."

"Jax—"Sarai tried to say, but Mali cut her off.

"If you marry mommy, will you be our daddy?" she asked, licking her spoon thoughtfully.

"If you'll let me," Jax said, catching Sarai's eyes. She looked livid, but he didn't care.

She'd changed the rules last night. She hadn't been fighting fair, and now he was done fighting fair. He'd do whatever he could to wind his way into her life, whether she liked it or not. He only had a week; there wasn't any time to mess around. If that meant using the children against her, he'd do it.

"I would let you," Mali said with a shy smile.

"Well, I won't," Able said. "You may not be as bad as our father was, but we still don't need you here."

Sarai and Jax both looked at the boy in surprise.

"You think Jax is better than your father was?" Sarai asked quietly. "I didn't realize you were comparing them, Able. They're two very different people, you know. Jax would never do the things your father did."

A wave of warmth swept through Jax. No matter what she said, at least Sarai knew he was better than Calvin.

"I know that," Able said, looking at Jax as if taking his measure. It was the same look he had given him in the garden after he'd attacked him, Jax thought. Clearly, their talk had given the boy something to think about. "But what you need to understand is that you don't need him, Mom. You have me. I'll take care of you and Mali."

"I know that," Sarai said, her face flushing. "You've always done a good job of taking care of me, Able."

"And Mali," Able added.

"And Mali," Sarai repeated softly.

"Mommy, I'm done with my cereal," Mali announced. "I want to go outside now. Did you know that we don't have any lessons today, Jax? We just get to play all day long because our teacher has to go to the spaceport. Are you going to come and play with us?"

"Sure," Jax said lightly. "Why don't we go on a picnic? I'm sure that your mother would like to join us, too."

"I don't think—" Sarai tried to break in, glaring at him, but Mali squealed with delight, cutting her off.

"We're going on a picnic! Can we go swimming? Mommy says we can't go swimming unless we have grownups with us, but Kally's daddy takes us swimming sometimes. Will you take us swimming?"

Even Able perked up at this.

"We have to do what mom tells us," he said loyally, but his desire to go swimming was written all over his face. "Can we, mom?"

"There's a lot of work that needs to be done around here," Sarai said. Jax laughed.

"Sarai, there's nothing that can't wait. You don't have any vacancies right now, and none of the rooms need to be cleaned. They were just done yesterday," he said, trying to tempt her. "You haven't taken a day off since I've been here. It won't kill you to take a little break. You have to do fun things in life, too."

"You realize the children can't really swim, don't you?" Sarai said. Her voice was wavering; he could tell she was close to giving in. "They just paddle around in the shallow water. We'll have to keep a close eye on them."

"I'm a good swimmer," he said, smiling broadly at her. "Maybe I can teach them."

"You can teach me how to swim?" Able asked, his face lighting up. "Kally's daddy has been teaching me, but I still don't know how to do it very well. We don't get to go very often to practice. Mom doesn't know how, so she doesn't like to take us by herself."

"There weren't a lot of places to go swimming on the asteroid where I grew up," Sarai said defensively. She stood and started clearing the table.

"Well, it sounds like I'll just have to teach all of you to swim," Jax replied. The thought was appealing… What would Sarai wear to go swimming? He'd never seen her wearing anything but her long dresses. He watched her stack the dishes speculatively, enjoying the sway of her cute little butt as she moved. What would she feel like all wet and naked against him? It was a pleasant thought, and he could feel himself hardening in response…

"I don't want to swim in the deep water, though," Mali said. "I'm scared of the deep water, Jax."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," Sarai said reassuringly, turning back toward her daughter and smiling gently. "We'll just pack a little lunch and go play in the shallow places, all right?"

Yep, she was all his, Jax thought smugly. By the end of the day he'd have her hot and ready for him. Now all he had to do was keep reminding himself why he couldn't sleep with her. Not until she acknowledged that she wanted him for more than sex.

His plan was going to be harder to carry out than he'd expected, Jax realized later that day. He stood in water up to his chest, bracing himself again the current.

Sarai knelt in the shallows water of the riverbed with Mali, helping her build a little fort out of sand and sticks. Her white shift clung to every curve of her body, outlining her nipples enticingly and even giving a hint of shadow at the cleft between her legs. She turned away from him, and leaned forward to pull some more sand over for her daughter.

The movement pulled the fabric tight against her heart-shaped ass, and he groaned. Even the cold water of the river wasn't enough to keep his erection down. What had started out as his plan to tempt her was turning into his own personal hell.

"Jax, are you ready?" Able called. Jax turned his attention to the boy, who was standing in water up to his waist. His face was pinched and tight with stress, but he insisted on trying to swim out to Jax by himself.

"I'm ready, Able," Jax said, holding out his arms. "I'll catch you, don't worry."

"All right, I'm coming now!" Able shouted, and then threw himself forward into the slowly moving water. He thrashed his arms and legs desperately, slowly inching his way toward Jax. It took all of Jax's willpower not to lean forward and pull the boy to him, but he knew doing it by himself was important to Able. Then the boy was on him, wiry little arms and legs clingy. He twisted in Jax's arms, shouting in triumph.