Serendipity (6 page)

He twitched again, and she started to lift her head up to look at him. The movement was stopped when his hand gripped the back of her head, holding her still on his hard length.

"Please don't stop," he whispered, his voice sounding strained in her ears. "You have no idea how much it would mean to me if you didn't stop."

He pressed her down, firmly enough to show her what he wanted, but not so hard she couldn't have gotten away. She didn't feel trapped at all, she thought. She felt powerful; Jax was completely at her mercy. She lowered her head again, reveling in the gasp he gave as she did so. He was hers to play with.

She moved her head up and down along his length, keeping a steady suction. She could feel the tension under her hands. His thighs were tight, and as she kept moving she realized they were actually quivering under her touch. This powerful man was hers.

His hands pushed her down against cock urgently. She took the hint, bobbing her head up and down more quickly. More liquid was seeping out of him now. She could taste the salty warmth in her mouth. His breathing was harsh in the morning air. She sucked him in time and again. Her jaw was starting to ache a bit, but the slight discomfort was nothing compared to the pleasure she knew she was giving him. She felt strong and powerful, completely in control of the warrior who lay before her. It made her feel almost giddy.

His hands gripped her head more tightly, and he gave a long, low moan. He was close to coming. She could tell every muscle in his body was rock hard. She sucked against him as hard as she dared, and he pushed her face down into his cock again, fingers tightly wound in her hair. She gripped him with her mouth, sucking and massaging him with her tongue, and then he exploded with a groan.

The wave of hot seed hit her and she swallowed, gulping each time he shot into her.

His orgasm seemed to last forever. Finally his hands released their tight grip on her head, and she slowly pulled away from him. She sat up, looking over his relaxed, spent body lying on her bed. He smiled up at her, his face softer than she'd ever seen it.

"Thank you," he said quietly.

"You're welcome," she answered, blushing hotly. "I'm not quite sure why I did that…"

"Well, I appreciated it a great deal," he said, a touch of humor on his face. "I'm not really worried about the analysis."

She laughed, then cuddled up next to him. He tucked her into the crook of his arm, hugging her to him.

"So what now?" he asked finally. She stilled, unsure of what to tell him. Then she spoke.

"I still don't think you have a place in my life permanently," she said softly. He grew still against her. "I don't need or want a man, Jax. I know you're not like Calvin was, but I still don't plan to open myself up like that again. But we have a deal, and it's pretty silly to pretend that I don't enjoy sharing a bed with you. Let's just enjoy ourselves for the next two and a half weeks. I don't want to think beyond that."

Jax stayed silent for a moment.

"All right," he said finally. "If that's what you want."

"It is," she said firmly. "I don't think I can handle anything more than that."

Chapter Five

"Jax," Mali asked, delicately licking a bit of porridge off her finger. "How long are you going to stay with us?"

Jax and Sarai shot each other a glance across the kitchen table. Sarai started to speak, but to her surprise, Able cut her off.

"He's going to be here another week, and then he's leaving," the boy replied firmly, a hint of satisfaction in his voice. "Isn't that right, Jax?"

"Yes," Sarai said. She met his gaze and held it. "Jax will be leaving in another week.

We've had a very good visit with him, but he can't stay forever."

"Why not?" Mali asked, looking at her mother in confusion. "Don't you like it here, Jax? I thought you liked us."

"I do like it here," Jax said, thinking his answer through carefully. "And I would very much like to stay with you. But I don't think your mother is quite ready for that, and I don't want her to be unhappy. Making your mother happy is very important to me."

"But if you leave I'm going to be unhappy," Mali said, lower lip quivering.

"Sweetheart, this is a grown-up thing," Sarai said quietly. "Just because Jax came to visit us doesn't mean he can stay and live with us. He has his own life. He's a soldier, you know. He has to go and fight the empire with his people."

"Soldiers die sometimes," Able said, a smug note in his voice. Mali burst into tears.

"I don't want Jax to die!" she wailed

"I'm not going to die—" Jax said, but he was cut off by Sarai's tight voice.

"Able, go to your room!" Able stomped out, glaring at all of them. Sarai sighed, then got up and moved over to Mali. She picked the little girl up and held her close.

"Sweetheart, you don't need to worry about Jax. He's a very good soldier, and nobody is going to hurt him."

"I'm not a soldier anymore," Jax added, reaching over to touch Mali's hand. She twisted in her mother's arms, sliding to the floor and throwing herself into the man's arms.

"I decided to quit being a soldier after I met your mother."

Sarai froze.

"What are you talking about?" she asked. He looked back at her, a funny expression on his face. Mali had quieted, watching both of them intently.

"Well, in Saurellia only men who don't have a lifemate are soldiers. I have a lifemate now, Sarai."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sarai asked. Against her will, hatred boiled up in her for the woman. She'd kill the bitch! "What's a lifemate? Who is she? How long have you had this woman in your life?"

Jax looked startled, then he began to laugh.

"Sarai, you're my lifemate, whether you want to admit it or not," he said finally, smiling broadly at her. "What do you think all this is about? Do you think I just move in with women wherever I go?"

She didn't say anything, having thought just that. He sighed, then set Mali down on the floor.

"Sweetheart, can you run outside to play for a while?" he asked the child. "I need to talk to your mother for a while. Just grown ups."

"All right," Mali said. She headed toward the door, then turned to look at him one more time. "Promise you're not going to be a soldier and die?"

"Promise."

She skipped outside, slamming the door behind her.

"Now what is this all about?" Sarai asked. She looked at him, trying to understand. He leaned forward across the table, and took her hands into his.

"In Saurellia, most men never find a lifemate," he said quietly. "For every woman born, we have at least four or five men. The Goddess only creates one lifemate for each of those women, and they share a unique bond that goes deeper than any other relationship.

They can only have children together. Only those men who have a lifemate can inherit property or serve in the local government. Most of us leave by the time we're in our early twenties, because staying there is just too painful."

"Well, that's a stupid system," Sarai said tartly. Jax looked startled, then burst out laughing. He sat back, apparently overcome by some private joke. Finally he gained control, wiping a tear of mirth from one of his eyes. She sat amazed, having never seen him like this.

"Only you, Sarai," he said, shaking his head. "Only you would look through the most sacred traditions of our people and judge them like that."

"Well, it is stupid," she said, feeling self-conscious. "To kick out such a huge part of your population because they don't have a wife. Why don't you just bring more women in?"

"I'm afraid it's not quite that easy," he said, smiling sadly. "You see, it's not like we can just choose any woman as our lifemate. She has to be a Saurellian woman, and she has to be the right one. Otherwise the relationship isn't stable."

Sarai grew quiet, allowing his words to sink in. She hadn't realized until that second that somewhere, deep inside her heart, she had allowed herself to hope things could work out between them. His words cut through her like a knife, severing that hope. It hurt. She kept her face impassive, unwilling to give him the satisfaction of knowing he fooled her.

She was about as far from being Saurellian as a woman could be.

"I see," she said casually. "So what happens to all of you who don't have a lifemate?"

"Well," he said. "Most of us become soldiers. During peacetime, we tended to hire ourselves out as mercenaries to different nobles throughout the empire. Of course, now that the Saurellian Federation is at war with the empire, we've all come back. None of us would consider fighting against our own people."

"Wait a second," Sarai asked, holding up a hand. "Seth took Calla away from here claiming they were going to be married on Saurellia. How is that possible? Was the bastard lying to her?"

"Oh, no," Jax said quickly. "You didn't let me finish. Just in the past year or so, we've discovered that more and more Saurellian men are finding lifemates outside of Saurellia.

They've discovered that a large group of people within the empire actually have Saurellian DNA. Nobody knows quite why, but it's happening. Perhaps the Goddess has a new plan for us, but that's something for the priestesses to figure out. All I care about is that I've found you. You're my life mate, Sarai."

"How can you say that?" she asked, gaping at him in surprise. "You hardly know me!

We only met two weeks ago. That's ridiculous."

"Sarai, a Saurellian man knows his lifemate when he meets her," Jax said, smiling gently. "They don't always know right away, but usually pretty quickly. I knew the instant I saw you. You're mine, Sarai, and I'm yours. The Goddess created us for each other."

"I don't believe that for one second," she said, anger welling up in her. He was lying to her. "I don't know what you're up to, but I don't want to play your twisted little game, Jax.

You have no right to just come in here and play with our emotions like this. You saw my daughter—she's afraid that you're going to die because you're a soldier. You can't tell me you plan to just give up your whole life and stay here with us, because I know that's not true."

"Sarai, it is true," Jax said. "You are my lifemate. No Saurellian man would leave his lifemate to serve as a soldier, not unless her life was in danger. And your life is not in danger; you and your family are safe. I'll protect you."

"Okay, suppose what you say is true," Sarai said, thinking desperately. "Why would I be your lifemate? I'm a Pilgrim; we don't mix with people from the empire. How would I have this 'DNA' stuff that you're talking about?"

"Well, everyone has DNA," Jax replied quietly. Sarai blushed, realizing this was probably another piece of common knowledge she'd never learned. Her lack of education was so embarrassing some times…

"But not everyone has Saurellian DNA, right?" she asked quickly, trying to cover her ignorance. "How would I have Saurellian DNA?"

"I have no idea," Jax said. She looked at him, startled. "No one has any idea. As far as we knew, our gene pool had never been mixed. But they've found it in imperial slaves. Why not Pilgrims?"

"None of this makes sense to me," she said finally. "I don't understand all these thing you're telling me. But I do understand one thing. You don't have the right to come in here and tell me what to do. I don't have to be your lifemate if I don't want to."

"There's nothing you can do to stop it, Sarai," Jax said. "The Goddess made us for each other. We can't help that. By Saurellian law, we're already married."

"What?" Sarai stood abruptly, sliding the bench back across the floor with a screeching sound. "I'm not married to you! I'm not married to anyone, never again. Being married was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I won't go back to that."

Jax stood too, and leaned his face down close to hers.

"All I meant was that according to Saurellian law, a mated pair is considered married as soon as they first have sex," he said in low tones. "The marriage is usually confirmed at the temple after the birth of their first child."

"Child?" Sarai replied, her voice growing louder. "What the hell are you talking about?

I already have two children, there's no way I'm going to have another one. It's all I can to do take care of Mali and Able. I may be ignorant, but I'm not stupid. One of the first things I did after I got away from Calvin was get a birth control implant. I'm not taking any chances, and I don't owe you a damn thing. Like I'm going to go through another pregnancy? I don't think so."

"Why the hell would you do that?" Jax asked harshly. "Do you have any idea how hard it is for a man of my people to find a woman he can mate with? I've been praying to the Goddess this entire time that you were already pregnant. Are you telling me this is just about sex to you?"

"Of course it's just about sex!" she screeched. "We had a deal. You were going to stay three weeks, and then you're leaving. I realized we could have some fun during that time, but nothing more. Do you understand me, Jax? This is
only
about sex. I don't need or want a husband, and I never will. You might as well get used to the idea, because I'm not changing my mind. We have no future together. Nothing. I don't even like you. I just like fucking you."

Jax just looked at her, saying nothing. Then he stood so quickly the bench tipped over behind him as he stomped out of the room. The door slammed behind him, and Sarai sat down heavily. Her heart was racing, and she felt hot. She couldn't believe she'd yelled at him like that. What would Calvin have done to her if she'd raised her voice to him? She couldn't even begin to imagine…

Chapter Six

I don't even like you. I just like fucking you.

Jax took a long pull on his drink, trying not to let the words play themselves over and over in his head. He couldn't believe she'd said that; couldn't believe she meant it. She cared about him. He knew it—it was in every caress she gave him, all the little things she did for him.

If she was just using him for sex, why did she take the time to cook his favorite meals?

Why did she wait up for him at night, take him into her arms and hold him even when they didn't
fuck
as she so crudely put it? Just holding her, standing next to her was the most beautiful thing he'd ever experienced in his life. She made him happy, content, for the first time. There was no way he believed what she'd said.