Serpentine Walls (18 page)

“You don’t need to—”

“Shut up.”

He really did need to, because he hadn’t been able to get the idea of sucking Aidan off out of his mind, and knowing Aidan, he might not get the chance again.

He opened his mouth around the head of Aidan’s cock. Aidan was frigging
big
—Pete’s mouth felt full already. The taste was incredible, though, and so was the feeling of Aidan’s dick on his tongue.

Aidan shifted, and Pete felt him touch his cheek as he slid his mouth farther down the shaft and started to suck. Wishing he had a larger mouth or a better gag reflex, he got his hand around the rest of Aidan’s cock and jacked him, hand and mouth working to meet in the middle.

“Ah, honey. So good—” Aidan’s eyes rolled shut, and he put both hands on Pete’s head, running his fingers through his hair. But then he said, “Wait. Let me pull out for a sec.”

Pete opened up as Aidan withdrew from his mouth. “Something wrong?” he asked and took a gulp of air.

“No, I just want to get a condom.” Aidan scooted around to the side of the bed and reached over to his bed stand.

“You use condoms for oral?”

“Um-hm. What flavor would you like? I’ve got mint, chocolate, orange, banana, or my personal fave, strawberry.”

Pete didn’t answer at first, so dumbstruck was he that Aidan planned to wear a condom while being sucked off. “Uh, chocolate, I guess. No, make that mint.”

“Excellent choice.” Aidan selected one in a green wrapper and threw it over to him. “You seem surprised.”

“What?”

“About the rubbers.”

“Oh. Yeah, I am.” Pete tore open the wrapper as Aidan came back around to the edge of the bed next to him. “I don’t use anything for oral. Not usually.”

“You should,” Aidan told him earnestly as he helped Pete roll the condom onto his still-hard cock. Pete admired his ability to stay erect during this decidedly nonsexy conversation. “You can get STDs from unprotected oral sex. And I don’t wanna give you anything, because you’re too cute for that.” He quirked an eyebrow at him. “Right?”

“Okay. Right.” Pete was glad he’d had a chance to taste Aidan’s naked cock before the safe-sex lecture, but he had to concede his point. The way Aidan got around, it was wise of him to take precautions. He got back on his knees and took hold of Aidan’s dick, batting at Aidan’s hand. “Outta my way, schweetheart. Imma get my mouth full of minty freshness.”

Aidan laughed and then said, “Mm, yes,” as Pete slid his mouth back over his cock.

He gave a few experimental sucks and came off to ask, “How does it feel?”

“Good, baby,” Aidan said in a husky voice. “You can suck harder.” He closed his eyes with a sigh.

Pete reapplied himself. It didn’t taste too bad, and he could still relish the feeling of having Aidan in his mouth. He watched Aidan’s expressive face as he blew him, thinking again how beautiful he was, and that strange wish to protect him rose up. It caught Pete off guard—going down on someone wasn’t usually emotional for him.

After the playfulness of the striptease, the actual sex seemed subdued, the only sounds being Pete’s sucking and Aidan’s increasingly ragged breathing. Finally, Aidan stiffened and uttered a soft cry, and his hands tightened on Pete’s head as his cock jerked in his mouth. Pete stroked him through it until Aidan went limp and lay back on the bed. Pete followed, lying on top of him and kissing him, still feeling an urge to slay a dragon for him.

Aidan’s eyes fluttered open. “Thanks. I needed that. Hold on.” He sat up to remove the condom and throw it into a bedside trash can, then lay down again and smiled up at Pete. Pete looked down at him and ran his hand through his unruly hair, which caused Aidan to make a humming noise and push his head up into Pete’s hand like a cat.

“You’re fucking amazing, you know that?” The words came out of Pete’s mouth before he could snatch them back, and he felt his cheeks warm.

Aidan considered him, his expression embarrassingly intent, while Pete tried to keep his face from being a billboard for
Emotions Happening!
All Aidan said, though, was, “Thanks. My turn now.” He reached over and got a condom from the bedside table, and Pete found himself being flipped over onto his back. Aidan stripped him of his underwear, smiled, and slithered down Pete’s body. “I’m going to take the long way around.”

After a prolonged period during which Aidan tortured him by licking every part of his body except for his aching dick, Pete heard a welcome rattling sound and uttered a grateful noise when he felt Aidan rolling the condom over his cock. He gave a full-on groan as a tight heat engulfed him, opened his eyes, which he had squeezed shut, and peered down his body. The sight of Aidan Emery with his mouth full of cock—
his
cock—was one Pete wouldn’t soon forget. Aidan swallowed him down and then pulled back up the shaft, fluttering his tongue over the head. He sucked in just the tip, his tongue playing, while he stroked the base with his hand.

Pete made another noise, barely holding on. He found that the condom didn’t matter, because no one had ever gone down on him like this. Aidan sucked cock like it was an art form or an Olympic sport.
Gold medal,
Pete thought dizzily, fighting for breath as Aidan sank his mouth deeper and started a steady sucking rhythm, up and down, up and down, while he played with Pete’s balls. Trying not to thrust into Aidan’s mouth like a sex-crazed maniac, Pete felt the beginning of his orgasm curling at the base of his cock, and barely had time to gasp before he was coming.

“Oh, fucking hell.” Pete collapsed like a rag doll while Aidan continued to milk him until the last shudder subsided. He closed his eyes and let his breathing even out, not caring if he ever moved again. He felt the condom being peeled off and heard a plunk as Aidan added it to the other one in the trash can.

When he opened his eyes, he caught Aidan watching him with an odd expression—somber, almost sad. But as soon as he saw Pete looking at him, he smiled.

“Good?”

“Yeah.”
It was great, actually
, Pete wanted to say.
The best. The handful of other lovers I’ve been with pales in comparison.

He leaned his head on Aidan’s shoulder and felt him press a kiss on the top of his head. “I enjoyed it too.”

Pete closed his eyes and drifted, warm and satisfied, and was almost asleep when Aidan spoke again.

“Just don’t get hung up on me, okay?”

His eyes popped open, and he let out a slow breath, trying to suppress the small pang that went through him at Aidan’s words. “What?”

“It’s—I’m not the monogamous type.”

Uncomfortable about being plastered all over Aidan’s chest for this conversation, Pete rolled onto his side to face him. “I’m not looking for that.” Aidan raised a disbelieving eyebrow, and Pete clenched his jaw. “Really. I’m cool, man. Just a hookup, right?”

Aidan sat up and leaned against the headboard. He studied the coverlet in silence for a long moment before saying in a low voice, “I shouldn’t have brought you home tonight.”

Pete’s first impulse was to bolt: out of Aidan’s bed, out of his apartment, and out of his life, in that order. But he felt frozen in place, lying on his side and looking at Aidan’s profile. “Sorry to disappoint you,” he managed, not without a trace of bitterness.

That had Aidan facing him. “Fuck, Pete, you didn’t disappoint me. You’re great. It’s me. I’m a selfish bastard, and I’m going to mess you up if you keep hanging around.”

Pete noted the shadows under his eyes, remembering how haunted he had appeared earlier after Professor R had talked to him. That impulse to protect him reared its head, and he found himself saying, “Why don’t you let me decide that?”

He clamped his mouth shut, wishing he could take the words back and replace them with
It’s cool, man, no strings, no commitment, wanna fuck?

“Because you’re…. The thing is… fuck, how do I say this?” Aidan’s expression was rueful. “You’re a good guy, Pete. Besides being adorable and sexy.”

“Oh, please.”

“And you still can’t take a compliment,” Aidan said, smiling. Then he got serious again. “I like you. You—you remind me of myself back when… well, earlier.”

“Huh?”

“Forget it. What I’m trying to say is that I have certain rules for myself. And rule number one is I don’t get involved.”

“Okay, but how is my coming over to hook up ‘getting involved’? I already know you’re not into commitment, and neither am I, so what’s the problem?”

Aidan gave a weary sigh. “Because you don’t understand. I’m not going to be who you want.”

“What are you talking about? How do you know what I want?” Pete noticed he was clenching the coverlet and slowly released his hand.

“You want someone to love.”

“Right.” Pete laughed, thinking of his parents. “That’s the last thing I want.”

“I don’t think so. You just haven’t found the right person yet.”

Pete couldn’t believe they were having this conversation instead of hot sex, round two. Besides, Aidan was so far off the mark, it was ludicrous.

Frustrated, he snapped, “And you’re so wise about all of this because…?”

Aidan seemed far away as he contemplated a spot on the wall. “I know about finding the right person. Sometimes you find the right person, but it isn’t the right time.”

“Okay, fine.” Pete had no idea what Aidan was talking about, but he wasn’t going to stay around to find out. He sat up and hauled himself out of bed. “I’m going to go.”

Aidan didn’t try to stop him, which Pete was half hoping he’d do, but kept his eyes on him the whole time he was pulling on his clothes. Feeling like a jerk for leaving in a huff, Pete walked toward the screen.

“See you,” Aidan’s voice said behind him.

Damn
. He let go of making a dramatic exit like some wounded heroine in a bad movie and turned back. “Yeah.” Aidan gave him a small smile as he sat hunched over with his arms around his knees, and Pete wanted to get back in bed with him so badly that he had to clear his throat before he could speak again. “Have a good holiday, man.”

“Oh, that’s right. You doing anything special for Christmas?”

“Naw.”

“Where’s home again?”

“Arlington.” Clamping down on his impulse to say something stupid like
McLean and Arlington—so close!
Let’s get together
, Pete asked, “How about you? Doing anything fun?”

“I’ll be home for the first part. But I’m going to London for New Year’s.”

“Wow. Well… have a good one.” Pete turned and walked around the screen, grabbing his coat and getting out of the apartment before Aidan could say something meaningless about calling him.

The chill wind hit him full in the face when he left Aidan’s building. He broke into a slow jog, wishing he had his running shoes.
A whole new life would be nice too
, he thought as he pounded along the sidewalk.

“I
DON
’
T
know. I get mixed signals, but why should I care?”

Pete slumped on the futon in John and Cleo’s living room and brooded, having jogged straight there from his unsatisfying tryst with Aidan.

“You knew he was a player from the get-go,” said John, sprawled out next to him. “Don’t let Cleo hear you moaning or you’ll get a big, fat ‘I told you so.’”

“Good she’s asleep.” Pete eyed the closed bedroom door. “But—well, okay, he’s a player. He even said so himself. But neither of us are into commitment, so what’s wrong with some uncommitted sex? What’s the big deal?” He made a frustrated sound.

“Don’t be a moron. You’re already hung up on the guy, and you’ve only had sex with him two times.”

“Three.”

“Three? Oh, right, the time he groped you in the closet and—”

“Pantry.”

“Do you hear yourself? Jesus, Pete. If you keep having sex with him, it’ll turn into a big deal pretty fucking fast. For you, not for him. And Aidan knows it. That’s what he’s trying to tell you.”

“It wouldn’t be a big deal! It’s just hooking up.” He flounced onto his stomach and mumbled, “Why will no one believe me?”

John gave him a look that was part amusement, part exasperation. “Pete, you dimwit. Methinks thou doth protest too much.”

“Fuck you, and Shakespeare too.”

He wanted to punch John, who was laughing into a pillow on the futon, but it would’ve taken too much energy.

“So you wanna crash here tonight?” John asked once he’d stopped laughing.

“Maybe I should go home and check on Angie. Did you talk to her?”

“I called but didn’t get anything out of her. She said she was fine and she wished everyone would stop worrying about her. What’s bugging her?”

“The creep she’s dating.”

“Angie’s dating someone? You mean Brian?”

“Ha, I wish. No. Someone she’s been seeing for the last few months, but she won’t tell me who, and now she’s all upset.”

“Huh. I have no idea. I wonder if Cleo knows. Bummer that she’s upset, though.”

“Yeah. I guess I’ll go home.” Pete rolled off the futon and was at the door when John spoke again.

“Hey.”

“What?”

“Back to Aidan. You think maybe there’s something you’re getting out of this situation?”

Don’t start with the psych babble
, Pete thought darkly. “What d’you mean?”

John propped himself up on his elbows. “Just that it’s pretty fucking safe to be hung up on a guy who’s unavailable.”

“Safe?” Pete had no idea what John was talking about. “And I’m not hung up on him.”

“Whatever you say. Think about it.” John lay back down with a yawn. “Later, dude.”

Pete walked down Rugby Road in a funk.
Safe. What the fuck? What does wanting to hook up with Aidan have to do with being safe?

B
UD
and Pete sat at a dead standstill in a huge line of cars on I-66.

“I knew this was going to happen. I told you to be ready earlier.” Pete’s voice sounded whiny even to his own ears.
Crap
.
This is a shit way to start winter break
, he thought, wondering why he was even in a hurry. It wasn’t like going home was anything to look forward to.