Seth's Broadway Diary, Volume 1: Part 1 (13 page)

Jackie talked about her first audition in New York. She went to an open call for
Merrily We Roll Along
, and the casting director looked at her photo and said, "I don't think so, Jackie." Mary immediately said that should be the title of Jackie's next show at Joe's Pub. Brava.

Then Mary talked about being the swing for
Barnum
. She had to cover all the ensemble women, and they all did circus tricks. She wasn't nervous going on for any of them, except for Sophie Schwaab (who later went on to play Rosabella in
The Most Happy Fella
revival). Sophie was a world champion twirler and, suffice it to say, Mary was not. She was assured she would never go on. Of course, one day, Mary arrived at the theatre and was told she was on for Sophie. A hush fell over the theatre. Firstly, she had to wear a pink unitard. Please don't get any ideas, William Ivey Long. Secondly, she noticed that the backstage area was extra crowded. Why? Because word got out and crews from other shows flocked to the theatre to see what was gonna happen on that stage! It was like when the Christians were thrown to the lions. Mary said that the big number was "Come Follow the Band," and normally Sophie was in front, leading a parade and doing trick after trick. Twirling three batons with one hand, throwing them up in the air, doing a cartwheel and catching them all, etc. Well, Mary knew she had to do something. She couldn't just stand there and sing, so she just twirled one baton at a time, threw it in the air and would then watch it land in some random spot across the stage. But she made it look like an amazing trick, by pointing with a flourish to wherever it landed. As in, "I didn't catch it on purpose, instead, look how far I can throw it stage right!"

Jackie talked about being offered the final
Hairspray
reading (she played the female character track: Prudy, the jailer, the gym teacher, etc…). She loved the reading so much, but felt she'd never get it on Broadway because her career refrain had been "I don't think so, Jackie." She finished doing the reading and, on her way out, told Marc Shaiman that she hoped Lea DeLaria had a great time playing it on Broadway. He assured her that she'd play it on Broadway and, I
do
think so, Jackie, she did!

Broadway was a little terrifying to her, though. She was so used to doing Off-Broadway that she called one of her friends freaking out when she heard that she would be wigged.

"I don't know how to put on a wig," she cried.

"There are people there who do it for you, Jackie," her friend explained.

"
Every time
?!?!?" she sobbed.

I asked Mary what it was like being Liza Minnelli's understudy in
The Rink
. She said that the first time she went on was on a two-show day, July 4th, because Liza checked herself into The Betty Ford Clinic after the matinee. That made Jackie quip, "Hey, what are you doing between shows?
Rehab
!"

Mary played the show for two weeks while they rehearsed Stockard Channing to take over the role. Stockard then took over… and it played an additional two weeks. Ouch. Mary said that Chita Rivera is very in the moment when she performs, but likes to have everything she does pre-planned and almost choreographed. Mary is the opposite. She likes to change things up. Finally, one day, Mary did something different, and it caused Chita to change the way she had always done a particular line.

"Aha!" Mary said teasingly to Chita after the show. "I got you!"

"You did," Chita said, admitting to changing a moment in the show. "And it didn't work!" Busted! They had different acting styles, but still, Mary said that Chita was phenomenal to work with.

This week, I also had an audition for
Spamalot
. I had to learn "You Won't Succeed on Broadway," which is fun-nee, and they also told me to bring my own music just in case. I got to the audition five minutes before it began and realized I didn't have my regular audition song. I did what every New York actor does when he needs music ASAP: I placed an emergency call to Michael Lavine. He has everything ever composed, and he'll send it anywhere. Within one minute, he was faxing my old chestnut to Chelsea Studios. He's amazing.

A little while ago when I was in P-town, I was doing a show for Family Week and realized I didn't have the music that Marya Grandy (
Les Miz
) was singing. Michael was driving in from Williamstown, but told me that if he rushed home and went up to his apartment before returning his rental car, he'd be able to fax it to me in 45 minutes, I'd have the stage manager get it and Marya would be able to sing it as the 11 o'clock number. He got it done, and Marya brought down the house. I don't know if we should focus on the praise he deserves for keeping Broadway music alive, or the derision I deserve for being so mind-bogglingly irresponsible twice in ten days.

And finally, I saw the recent Broadway revival of
Grease.
I wrote a weekly blog about the reality show earlier this year, so I sat and watched it with a fond heart. It's also the show I played piano for the longest on Broadway, so I watched it with a lot of eye-rolling and "if I never hear this song again…" But let me say, it was so fun to see the winners, Max and Laura, live! Sort of like a musical theatre version of
Broadway Danny Rose
. And I was super impressed with the voices of Daniel Everidge (who played Roger) and Lindsay Mendez (who played Jan)
.
Lindsay has since become a star! She later originated in DOGFIGHT and also played Elphaba in WICKED
!
They interpolated some sassy high notes in "Mooning" that made me totally look forward to getting the CD in the fall. And brava Jenny Powers as Rizzo. I worked with her last summer at the Perry Mansfield New Works festival in Colorado, and I was busting her for always playing nerdy soprano roles. She told me that's not really her, and boy was she right. She looks so gorgeous in the role and her acting and singing are delish. And I know my Rizzos! In my
Grease!
days, I saw Jody Watley, Debby Boone, Rosie O'Donnell, Maureen McCormick, Tracy Nelson, Sheena Easton and Brooke Shields. Oh, yeah, and MacKenzie Phillips, Joely Fisher and Linda Blair. You know, I do a lot of joking in this column, but I ain't joking now. Those women all played Rizzo. Don't get me started on the Vince Fontaines I've seen. OK, you did. Cousin Brucie, Joe Piscopo, Donny Most, Mickey Dolenz, gymnast Dominique Dawes. Oh, wait. She was Patty Simcox. Ow, my head hurts.

OK, that's it for now. I have to go to bed. Rehearsals for
The Ritz
begin tomorrow! Note to self: buy highlighter/look over script/schedule lipo.

Kevin, Donna and a Unitard

August 28, 2007

First, a clarification. The show I'm doing is called
The Ritz
. Like the cracker. The reason I'm clarifying the name is because I've been congratulated on being cast in
The Rink
. Three times! Hopefully, people think I'm the young sassy Liza Minnelli role and not the older Chita Rivera track.

Anyhoo, rehearsals began last Monday. It's very exciting starring in my first Broadway play. And by "starring," I mean that on the morning we were scheduled to start dissecting the script, our illustrious director Joe Mantello walked into rehearsal, looked at me and asked, "What are you doing here?" Now that I'm an actor, I guess I can use that moment for a sense memory of "mortification." Yes, people, I showed up by mistake. Apparently, my two lines did not need dissecting. We all laughed… one of us only on the outside.

I actually have been doing non-stop laughing at rehearsal. Turns out, Joe Mantello is so much fun. I first figured that because he was such a bigwig, he would be distant and unfriendly (father issues, anyone?), but instead he's like your best friend at theatre camp. We all spend breaks huddled around a laptop while he shows us his favorite
YouTube
videos. (Please watch the amazing entrance at the beginning of Tandi Iman Dupree's drag act — unbelievable!)

On Tuesday, I got a call from my agent telling me that I had a callback for a commercial. Yes, it was for a department store I never heard of; yes, only on cable; and yes, it was never to run in any big cities, but I wanted it! I asked when it filmed and turns out it was during the three days I was supposed to go on a vacation, so
The Ritz
wasn't planning on scheduling me at rehearsal! I could do it! Excellent. All I had to do was go in and nail that callback. The first annoying part was that, since the role was a piano player in a department store, they told us to wear a tux (to the first audition and the callback). I guess that if we came in wearing a regular outfit, it would be impossible to imagine what we looked like dressed up. Who says TV people have no imagination? Yay! It's fun hauling around a big, hot tuxedo on a subway in August.

The next stressful part was that if I got the commercial, I'd have to leave Thursday night for L.A. and miss the
Chatterbox
. The callback was on a Tuesday, early afternoon, so I assumed I'd know by the end of the day. No. Now, you know when you go to a commercial callback, you're agreeing to be put "on hold," and you have to keep yourself available on the shoot days until you're told that you're released. Since I'd have to fly to the West Coast on Thursday night, I knew they would make a decision by Wednesday morning.

No.

It was now Wednesday afternoon, and I didn't know whether to book my
Chatterbox
or not, because I didn't want to have some Broadway star agree and then have to ixnay them to film a rickety-rackety cable commercial. My agent called the commercial people and told them my predicament. They said they understood and would notify us as soon as possible. Well, suddenly it's Wednesday at 6 PM, and I'm
still
on hold for Thursday night through Sunday. Since my agency would be closed overnight, I wouldn't know till Thursday morning. Dare I book someone that last minute? I finally placed an emergency phone call to Kevin Chamberlin late Wednesday night, and he said he'd do the
Chatterbox
and wouldn't care if I canceled.

Speaking of Kevin, he was such a fun guest. He's one of the few actors who has done
Chatterbox
three times! He talked about his first Broadway musical, which was also my first Broadway show as a piano sub. It was Lincoln Center's short-lived
My Favorite Year
, which I re-named
My Favorite Week
. I only got to play it three times, but it was a great piano part. Kevin said that he was so excited to be in it and could not wait for his parents to see him on Broadway. Unfortunately, on opening night he was a little too excited and forgot to put on his suspenders during the big "Manhattan" dance number. He literally spent the whole number knowing his parents were watching him dance with one hand while holding up his pants with the other. He also said that Lainie Kazan had so many electronic appliances in her dressing room that she blew the lights in the hallway of dressing rooms! I wanted to know what she had plugged in, and he speculated multiple curling irons and The Fry Daddy.

He then talked about doing
Abe Lincoln in Illinois
. Y-A-W-N! Doesn't that title imply the most boring show in the world? "Abe Lincoln" = I'm drowsy. "In Illinois" = and I'm out. It had an enormous cast, and he only appeared at 8:15 and then again at 11:15. He said that, on some nights, he would do his first scene then hop on the subway at Lincoln Center and go down to the Village and hang. One night, his friend had a show at the Duplex on Christopher Street at 9 PM, and Kevin was able to do his first scene, take the subway from Lincoln Center to the Village, see his friend's act, congratulate him after, and easily make it back for his last scene. I asked if he was nervous about the subway breaking down, and he said he could have walked and made it back in time.

He played Horton in
Seussical
and said he loved it when Rosie O'Donnell played The Cat in the Hat. She would take questions from the audience, and one night a little kid asked how long Horton the Elephant's trunk was. Rosie told him, "He says it's seven feet, but actually, it's really five."

I also asked Kevin about the brilliant
Dirty Blonde
in which he starred with the writer Claudia Shear. He did a lot of Mae West research and told us one hilarious story about how quick she was. One night Mae was walking through a casino in Vegas, and a guy called out from the craps table, "Hey, Mae! I'll lay ya ten to one!" She, without missing a beat, replied, "It's an odd time, but I'll be there." Brava!!!!

Speaking of
Dirty Blonde
, that's where
The Ritz
began. Kevin said that one day after the show, Joe Mantello approached him and said that he wanted to do
The Ritz
with him and Rosie Perez. Kevin said he was totally interested, and Joe got on it. And it only took seven years to happen. I guess I better plant the seed now for Joe to direct me in
The Gin Game
.