Seven Years of Bad Luck (34 page)

“No, you’re right; it’s not funny, but you are very cute when you’re mad. Always have been.”

“Just knock it off, Aidan.”

“Okay, fine. Does the father know?”

“Nope, and I plan to keep it that way until further notice.” He nodded subtly. I could see the wheels turning. “What?” I asked incredulously.

“I think you need me, and I know I need you. I can help.”

“What are you going to do? Adopt my baby and raise it as your own or something?” I said jokingly. Aidan shrugged.

“I have done a lot of thinking and changing since you left me. I told you that the last time we saw each other. I told you I wouldn’t give up. I meant it. We could try again. I could be the baby’s father, your husband again.”

“I was joking, Aidan! Jesus!” I shook my head almost too hard.

“Please, Kathleen, give me a chance. I’ll show you. I can’t stand not having you in my life.” He pleaded as he moved over to me and squatted down in front of my seat on the couch. I sighed and rolled my eyes when he gathered my hands in his. I was far too emotional, thanks to the hormones raging through my body.

“Aidan, I can only offer to be friends. Just friends. That’s a lot more than you deserve, so take it or leave it.” He smiled his all-American-boy smile and nodded.

“I’ll take it. I’ll take it.”

Aidan hung out with me for the rest of the day and into the evening. We watched television, and he went out to bring us some cheap takeout. My weakness. He knew me well. After throwing up way too much for it to be considered normal, he went out to the store to buy for me all the pregnant woman goodies. Saltine crackers, ginger ale, popsicles, and a wide assortment of foods for me to try. His rationale was that there had to be something I could keep down.

“Thanks Aidan. It’s weird having you here, but I don’t really have anyone else right now.” I bowed my head as my brows furrowed and tears began gathering in my eyes.

“I told you: we may be divorced, but I support you, and if you are struggling right now, you can count on me.”

“Yes, but you will be leaving soon, and I will be alone again.”

“No. I transferred here to our Dallas office.” My mouth hung agape.

“You what?” My voice came out high-pitched and sounded annoying, even to my own ears.

“I live here now. I requested the transfer.”

I sighed. This complicated things. I honestly appreciated his being there as my friend supporting me, but if he stayed around me, things would certainly get awkward at some point.

What if he is my only male friend around once the baby comes? The baby might think that he is daddy.

“Hey, I could be your roomie,” Aidan said jokingly.

“Don’t even,” I admonished.

“I know; I know. I’m only kidding. Listen, don’t be so down, okay? Everything will work out.” He swung an arm around my shoulder and squeezed me into his side. I was almost relieved to discover that there was zero spark between us when he embraced me. It was nothing like what I felt every time Ben touched me. I fell asleep on the couch while watching television with Aidan. When I woke up the next morning, I was comfortably tucked into my bed, and there was a glass of water on my nightstand with a note from Aidan.

‘Kathleen, you fell asleep on the couch. I hope you don’t mind that I moved you to your bed. I am going back to my hotel room at the Walshberg Hotel. Room number is 212. If you need to reach me, you can call me there. See you tomorrow. –A.’

I didn’t mind Aidan being around to help me out. I was never able to trust him with my heart, but he always took care of things for me. He had always been a great caregiver, and in my state, I welcomed any help I could get. When I left my bedroom to get my cell phone from the living room, I was welcomed by a spotless apartment. I smiled at Aidan’s thoughtfulness. It turned out that he was a bad husband, but a great friend. I decided to call Cheyenne that morning to let her know about Aidan before she found out on her own and thought the worst of it. Of course, when I told her the edited version of the story, she was more than skeptical and admonished me to stay away from Aidan. I eased her worry by making a few reassurances. I told her that Aidan was transferred here, that I had given him my contact information the last time I saw him, and that when he arrived in town, he called me to meet as friends, and I agreed. Lies, of course, but I was in no mood or position to tell the whole sordid story.

The next three weeks passed rather smoothly, and my friendship with Aidan remained just that. I opened up to him about Ben and explained the whole mess. He was understanding and supportive every time I lamented over the loss of Ben. He didn’t have much to say, just gave the occasional nod and reassuring pat on the shoulder or leg. I was grateful for his friendship. I felt like something inside was coming together. Healing. Aidan helped me look into investment opportunities and start the daunting task of baby-product research. He and I were hanging out nearly every day and even went to dinner with Cheyenne and Tucker once. Cheyenne had texted me from across the table during dinner.

‘He is so different. Weird!’

I texted her back.
‘I told you! We are just friends. Things are different between us.’

She nodded at me across the table in agreement. I was excited that Aidan was winning over Cheyenne as he had won me over. He had been nothing but a gentlemen since arriving at my apartment weeks before. He helped me with the dreadful morning sickness that would be better off renamed ‘any-time sickness’ because it struck at random. Cheyenne bought into the few white lies I had told her and even agreed that Aidan could come to the wedding with me. It appeared that things were as good as could be considering the circumstances. I could have been dead instead of shopping for baby gear and helping my best friend plan her wedding. That thought was never far away from the front of my brain. I was relieved that things were going semi-smoothly, even though most of it was based on a foundation of lies. It pained me to lie to Chey, but I could not ruin her pre-wedding bliss by waving my accidental pregnancy in her face, and to be completely honest, I found it tough to hang out with her for too long because of my own depression over losing Ben. Misery loves company, preferably someone who is equally as miserable as the other. I did my part as maid of honor, all while keeping my slowly expanding belly a secret. Cheyenne was distracted by the wedding and all things Tucker, so slipping under the radar was easier than anticipated.

Wednesday, September 25th, 2013. Day 126 since my first day at the firm.

Aidan agreed to come with me to my doctor’s appointment. “Are you sure you don’t mind my being here?”

“No, not at all. It’s fine. I don’t have anyone else to share the visit with. Besides, it’s very exciting; wait till you hear the little heartbeat. It’s amazing!” I said enthusiastically, clapping my hands. Aidan smiled warmly at me.

“Okay. I am excited; this is a new experience for me, too.” His face fell slightly, and his gaze landed on the floor.

He’s thinking about our baby.

“I know,” I said as I patted his leg gently. He just shook his head and remained silent. Doctor Miller came into the room and ran through a series of questions about my diet, bothersome symptoms, and options for delivery. She gave me tips to help manage my morning sickness and pamphlets for birthing and parenting classes in the area.

“Shall we take a peek at your baby?” She looked to me, then to Aidan, and I could tell she assumed he was the father.

“I would love to,” I squeaked. I was far enough along now that she pulled my top up and used an abdominal probe. The cool gel smeared across my skin as she glided the probe over my little baby bump. Aidan stood beside me staring at the monitor in amazement.

“Okay, Kat. See here, your baby has developed quite a bit since your last appointment. He or she now looks like a little person.” The little baby in my belly was kicking and moving all about, even though I was still unable to feel the movements. I couldn’t wait to feel my sweet baby kicking.

“I can see that.”

“Let’s listen to the heartbeat.” She pressed a button, and the rapid swooshing sound filled the small exam room. I smiled from ear to ear and looked to Aidan. His brows rose, and he grinned.

“Wow, sounds like a strong little thing,” he muttered.

“Yes. The baby has a great heartbeat. Measurements look normal and right on target. Want me to print the pictures?”

“Absolutely!” Aidan answered excitedly before I could. As we walked back to Aidan’s car, he stared at the ultrasound photos in his hand. “Kathleen, this is the most incredible thing I have ever experienced. Thanks for sharing it with me.” He slung his long arm around my shoulders as we walked. I peered up at him and saw how sincere he was.

“Thanks for coming with me, Aidan. You are still the only one who knows about the baby. It’s been great having you around. I think I would be in a very bad way if I didn’t have you to force me to get up every day and go on with my life,” I admittedly almost shamefully.

“You’re in love. Your heart is broken. I know, trust me, I know. But you have so much to look forward to now,” he said while holding up the ultrasound pictures and waving them in front of my face.

“I know.”

“I think you should tell Ben about the baby.” I sat beside him in his car and looked at him bewildered.

“What? No!” I screeched.

“Come on Kathleen. What I just saw in that exam room was… there are no words for it. You shouldn’t deny him or the baby a relationship with each other. New girlfriend or not,” he said firmly.

“I understand what you are trying to say Aidan, but you just don’t get it. He has moved on. He wanted more, he was clear on that, but I was too screwed up to give him, to give us, a proper chance.”

“Just think about it is all I’m saying. You know that no matter what, I will be here for you.” He took my hand in his and squeezed. I smiled at my ex-husband and new friend.

“I know. As bizarre as this relationship between us may be, I am so glad for it. You have been amazing. I mean it, Aidan, thank you. Feels like I finally let things go, you know?”

“I hope so, Kathleen. You deserve to be happy.” His face grew sullen, and I hated that he was battling with his own demons and regret.

Saturday, September 28th, 2013. Day 129 since I started at the firm.

“Damn, Chey, I need help zipping.” Cheyenne walked over to me in her silk bridal robe.

“Okay, suck it in girl!” I glanced over my shoulder at her.

“Hey! I’m not fat, dammit! It’s my boobs; I can’t get the zipper past these things, and I can’t exactly suck in my boobs,” I said with feigned indignation.

“Oh hush, I’m only joking. Okay, there you go.”

“Ouch!” I involuntarily squeaked when she tugged the zipper up, tightly enclosing my tender breasts.

“Crap, did I get you?”

Oh shit!

“Oh, um nope. I’m good.” Cheyenne spun me around by my shoulders to look at me.

“Wait a second. Liar, liar, lacey panties on freakin’ fire! Kat, your boobs are huge!” She began surveying the full length of me with her blue eyes as wide as they would open.