Sex & Mayhem 04 No Matter What (21 page)

Tooth exhaled
and tugged on his beard. “Are you now?”

Ghost pursed
his lips. “I’m um… exploring it.”

Tooth frowned
at Luca again. “Are you two fucking?”

“N-no,” Ghost
uttered with his eyes going wide. “I mean, we might be. I mean, I
hope we will…”

Luca exhaled,
wishing to be anywhere but here. On one hand, he did want to hear
that Ghost wanted him, but this conversation between him and Tooth
made it all seem so cheap and meaningless.

“So, you’re
curious?” asked Tooth. “I don’t want any problems in the
future.”

Ghost licked
his lips. “What kind of problems?” He finally raised his eyes.

Tooth exhaled
and nodded toward Luca. “I heard your immigration status is
problematic. We could help you with that if you decide to help
us.”

Luca swallowed,
even as his mouth went dry as woodchips. Was this about his
computer skills or his prowess with the gun? Either way, it sounded
more like a deal than a gesture of charity.

Ghost tensed
up. “He’ll find a job soon.”

“That’s why he
needs a work permit,” said Tooth, slowly moving closer to Luca.
“What do you say? We need reliable people.”

Luca swallowed.
There was no doubt the job and permanent stay would be a problem if
he didn’t get help. His eyes strayed to Ghost, and it stung to
think that being out of the fucking club meant not knowing half of
what Ghost was up to. “I suppose...”

And the worst
thing was that Ghost said nothing. Frederico would always push Luca
into the direction he wanted Luca to take. It wasn’t a ‘nice’
thing, but at least he would always know what Frederico wanted from
him. Ghost’s pale, expressionless face was a riddle. Luca was lost.
Wouldn’t Ghost give him any kind of clue? What was he to do?

“I mean... I
don’t know much about you. I can’t go in too deep without it,” he
said eventually.

Tooth shrugged.
“Sure. I can give you a tour tomorrow.”

“Will the guys
be fine with him after tonight?” Ghost asked in a grim voice.

Tooth shrugged.
“We’re not patching anyone yet. But he knows the Villanis, and he
clearly does well when shit goes down.”

Luca glanced at
the dark window, unsure what to think. No matter how much he wanted
to be as far from the mafia as possible, here he was, being sucked
into yet another form of organized crime.

Ghost nodded
and got up from the chair. “I’m going to bed, I’m tired.”

Luca finished
his cocoa, watching Tooth leave first. He wasn’t sure whether Ghost
even wanted him to follow.

“Long night,
huh?” Ghost mumbled and headed for the stairs.

“Y―yeah,” said
Luca, playing with his empty cup. “You want some time?”

Ghost looked at
him over his shoulder. “Only if it’s with you.”

The invisible
hold eased around Luca’s heart, and he ran over, pressing his body
against Ghost. It was such a relief to feel his steady arms around
him.

Ghost gave him
a kiss on the temple and led him to their room. The B word still
lingered in his mind, but it was a hard conversation to start. He
closed the door behind them and leaned back against the wood.

Ghost lay on
the bed with a deep sigh and stared at the ceiling. “Is that what
you want? To be around the club?” he asked out of the blue.

Luca slowly
walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed. “Why are you with
them when it’s obviously not your thing?”

Ghost put his
hands over his face. “It’s a family thing. I just need to step up
my game. I’ve made a fool out of myself tonight.”

“But it’s
dangerous. You don’t want this,” insisted Luca. He squeezed Ghost’s
hand and gave him a tight smile.

“Why do you
want to be around it then, huh?” Ghost kept turning the question on
its head.

Luca chewed on
his lip. “You’re there. I want to know what’s going on.”

Ghost pulled
Luca to the bed, and straight into a hug. “Come over here.”

Luca laid his
head on Ghost’s shoulder and cuddled up against his warm body. He
closed his eyes. “I was really scared for you back at that
clubhouse.”

“I understand.”
Ghost kissed the top of his head. “It’s not always gonna be like
that. Tonight was unfortunate.”

“But all you’ll
tell me is that it’s club business,” whispered Luca, pulling up
Ghost’s shirt, only to breathe in its scent. “We’re finally
together. I don’t want barriers like that.”

“I do get it. I
don’t want to block you if that’s what you wanna do. It’s up to
you. Maybe it could work somehow. I didn’t know you were such a
badass out of the game as well,” Ghost nudged Luca’s ribs.

Luca was at a
loss without any directions he could safely follow. “I suppose you
wouldn’t be with them if they were
terrible
.”

Ghost chuckled.
“They’re not terrible. Tooth is a good friend, even if he’s brash.
He’s reliable.”

A long moan
came through the wall by the bed, and Luca let his head fall back
over Ghost’s shoulder, looking at the headboard. Lucky’s voice was
loud and high-pitched when it resonated through the house
again.

“You’d just be
a hangaround, so you’ll have a chance to meet them and see.” Ghost
was pretending he didn’t hear the muffled moans, and maybe that was
for the better.

Luca swallowed
and rolled over, nuzzling the side of Ghost’s face. His body was
slowly pumping adrenaline. “Don’t you care what I’ll do?”

That got
Ghost’s attention, and the clear blue eyes zeroed in on Luca’s with
so much intensity it had Luca’s heart trembling. “Of course I
care.”

“Then... why
aren’t you saying anything? I don’t want you to be upset with
me.”

“I can’t make
the choice for you. That wouldn’t be fair.”

Luca brushed
his fingertips down Ghost’s face, savoring its warmth. “But what if
I make the wrong decision?”

“Then I’ll be
there to help you out of it.” Ghost smiled and kissed Luca’s
fingers.

“Are you really
bisexual?” asked Luca, talking through another muffled moan from
behind the wall.

“Oh God… What
is this? Night of the hard questions?” Ghost took a deep
breath.

Luca pulled
closer and kissed Ghost’s cheek, breathing in the scent of his
skin. “It’s just that... if you’re straight, then you’ll be tired
of me eventually, and you’ll want to be just friends,” he whispered
in a tiny voice. His throat was giving up on him, too tight to let
any air through.

Ghost lay on
his side as well and kissed Luca’s lips. “I never told Zara this.
Obviously. I started feeling this way somewhere around puberty. But
I thought that if I liked girls as well, I could just ignore the
other part. Never fall for a guy. It’s not like I can’t keep my
dick in my pants. And here I am. In love with a guy. And it’s too
late.”

Luca closed his
eyes, exhaling all his relief as he leaned into the kiss, all but
climbing up Ghost’s body. He hadn’t known how badly he needed to
hear that, and the blissful warmth spreading through his body was
like a warm cocoon of happiness. “I love you, too. So you actually
like guys? Oh my God...”

“I’ve never
done anything about it.” Ghost entwined their fingers, never
looking away. His blue eyes had an intensity that Luca couldn’t
even comprehend. There was so much warmth and care in his gaze that
all of Luca’s fears melted as if touched by the summer sun.

“I’m your first
then.”

“You know that.
Are you just basking in the glory of it?”

Luca grinned,
completely relaxed. “Yes.”

“I’ve never
told anyone about being bi. It was easy to fly under the
radar.”

Luca kissed
Ghost, slowly pushing on his chest. “You’re on my radar now.”

“I couldn’t run
away from it anymore. It’s hard to adjust though. I never had to
hide a relationship with someone I care for.”

Luca pushed
Ghost to his back and slowly climbed on top of him, framing Ghost’s
head with his forearms. “Why are you hiding it anyway? Tooth’s gay,
and everyone knows.”

“My dad would
kill me. And I don’t know how the other guys would actually
react.”

“He won’t
actually kill you, will he?” whispered Luca, moving the tip of his
nose down Ghost’s face until their mouths met in a slow kiss.

“I don’t think
so, no. But I don’t want to risk him going all crazy on you.”

Luca chuckled.
“I’m pretty sure I can handle your
old
man.”

“Everyone’s
gonna just call me gay. I’m gonna get a nickname like ‘Gay
Ghost’.”

Luca frowned.
“Right.”

“You know I
don’t think there’s anything wrong with being gay. It’s just that
I’m not, and everyone will just stuff me into that box,” muttered
Ghost with a low sigh.

Luca folded his
arms on Ghost’s chest and rested his chin on top of them, watching
him, unsure what he was to make of it. He knew it was a stupid way
to think, but put like that it felt like their relationship was
less important to Ghost than a stupid nickname.

“You’re not
sure we’re gonna work out.”

Ghost
swallowed, his white-blond eyebrows coming together into a frown.
“I wanna see what happens first. An online relationship is
different to one in real life. You could get sick of me too. Of the
fact that I use the vacuum cleaner every single day, or that I
don’t like to sleep in.”

Luca bit the
inside of his cheek, holding Ghost’s gaze even though he’d much
rather look away. “You wanted to propose to me.”

Ghost squinted
at him. “Someone’s pushy.”

Luca rolled off
him but kept his fingers touching Ghost’s shoulder. “Sorry,” he
whispered, staring at the lamp above the bed. He was so torn. Just
hours before, he’d been ready to take anything Ghost was willing to
give, but now that he knew the truth of Ghost’s sexuality, being
content with less than Ghost would have given Zara didn’t feel
right at all.

“I wanted to
show my intentions. It’s not like we’d be getting married the day
after.” Ghost sighed, playing with Luca’s fingers.

“Well, yeah,
but it’s a commitment. You don’t just propose thinking ‘oh, what’s
the worst that could happen’?”

“You’ve got the
ring,” Ghost grumbled.

Luca blinked,
just as Lucky gave his final call behind the wall. He turned to his
stomach and climbed over Ghost again. “Wait, you’re thinking I want
to get you to propose?”

Ghost wouldn’t
look at him. “It’s like you’re giving me your wishlist. I’m not
Santa.”

“I never said
that.”

“What is this
about then?”

Luca shrugged
and sat on his heels, deflated. “I just... want to know where I
stand. You don’t want to be open about us because of a nickname
your friends might give you?”

Ghost sat up on
the bed and took off his cut and jacket. “What is wrong with you? I
just don’t
want
to be out, period. Less than two weeks ago,
I found out the love of my life is actually a man. Give me a
break.”

Luca took a
long breath, watching Ghost intently. This was the first time he
appeared angry, and Luca wasn’t sure what to do about that. “Okay.
Why didn’t you just say so?”

Ghost got up
and started undressing, his moves speaking of the annoyance he
wasn’t voicing. “I just did.”

Luca bit his
lip, ice-cold panic flooding his arteries. He might have taken the
newfound freedom to speak his mind too far. “Sorry...”

Ghost slipped
into his pajama pants and spread his arms. “I didn’t mean to be
nasty, but it’s all a lot for me to take in. I’m still
adjusting.”

Luca swallowed
hard, playing with the hem of his shirt. “Do you want me to go?
There’s blankets on the sofa anyway.”

The look of
genuine hurt in Ghost’s eyes wasn’t what he expected. “I don’t want
you to go. I sleep better when you’re here.”

Luca gripped
the fabric of his shirt, too confused for words. “But I got you so
angry. I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I won’t hate
you. Christ. Stop overanalyzing everything. People argue. Doesn’t
mean they hate each other.” Ghost put on a T-shirt and slid under
the covers.

Luca watched
him settle, unsure what to do. He had no idea how to navigate this
new landscape, especially since it seemed he’d angered Ghost all
over again. Ghost wouldn’t punch him for being bad, but his silence
hurt no less.

Luca walked
over to the table and took a swig of water from the bottle he kept
there. He could sense the heat of Ghost’s eyes on him, and having
that attention, he pulled up his shirt, showing off his back. He
had assets, and it wouldn’t hurt to use them.

In a mirror to
his side, he noticed Ghost sitting up slightly. Good. So his
attention wasn’t on the argument anymore. Luca removed his socks,
and then opened his pants and pushed them down his hips, making it
seem as natural a movement as possible. The goal was not to let
Ghost know the stripping was done on purpose. Dressed in only a
pair of briefs, Luca carefully folded his clothes. His skin tingled
with the pleasure of being watched, Ghost’s eyes burning through
his skin. Luca smiled and pulled down the underwear as well, but
kept it simple. No unnecessary, sensual movements. He was
undressing. But for Ghost.

“Oh, wow…”
Ghost uttered. “You’re sleeping naked?”

Luca looked
back over his shoulder, feigning surprise. “I― wanted to put on my
pajama pants, but I can stay like this if you want to join me,” he
said, with a wiggle of his brows.

Ghost’s deep
exhale vibrated through the room. He pulled off his T-shirt in a
rushed move, and followed that with his pajama pants. Then both
items ended up on the floor.

Luca grinned at
him and walked over to Ghost’s side of the bed, switching off the
light on his way. He leaned down and kissed the warm forehead. In
one swift move, Ghost pulled him in under the comforter. Being
wrapped in Ghost’s arms was better than the softest blanket.